The corny joke thread

[ZootyCutie]

Here's a little story:

A fight broke out in a kitchen. Egged on by the waiters, two cooks peppered each other with punches. One man, a greasy foie gras specialist, ducked the first blows, but his goose was cooked when the other cold-cocked him. The man who beet him, a weedy salad expert with big cauliflower ears, tried to flee the scene, but was cornered in the maize of tables by a husky off-duty cob. He was charged with a salt and battery. He claims to look forward to the suit, as he's always wanted to be a sous-chef.

 

[FraggleRockRock]

hehe, silly. I love silly!

OK... What do you call a lizard with a toothache?


















A lizard with a toothache, duh!

Gosh that was dumb!

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

OMG!
LOL!
THAT WAS GENIUS!
LOL!
I never saw it comin'!

 

[FraggleRockRock]

*Head swelling*

And I wrote that. I'm so proud of myself!

 

[Winslow Leach]

Some more wordplay/terminology...

Arbitrator - a person who leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's

Avoidable - what a bullfighter tries to do

Baloney - where some hemlines fall

Beauty Parlor - a place where women curl up and dye

Bernadette - the act of torching a mortgage

Burglarize - what a crook sees with

Cannibal - someone who is fed up with people

Dust - mud with the juice squeezed out

Egotist - someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

Eyedropper - a clumsy ophthalmologist

Handkerchief - cold storage

Heroes - what a guy in a boat does

Left Bank - what the robber did when his bag was full of loot

Myth - a female moth

Paradox - two physicians

Parasites - what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

Pharmacist - a helper on the farm

Polarize - what penguins see with

Raisin - grape with a sunburn

Secret - something you tell to one person at a time

Skeleton - a bunch of bones with the person scraped off

Toothache - the pain that drives you to extraction

Yawn - an honest opinion openly expressed

 

[Skye]

Lol, that terminology is hilarious, too! I think I love all of these... but of course, I always seem to have a favorite... I really cracked up with "Paradox," hehe. Cute stuff, Tony!

 

[Winslow Leach]

Thanks, Caroline!

 

[ZootyCutie]

Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."


And:

Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

 

[Beakerfan]

Ohhh mygosh! It took me so long to get those Maddie! *smacks forehead* Those are great.

 

[Beauregard]

A Scotish man in Canada sees a moose and says, "By goodness, if that be a moose, where be the cat?"