10. Cantus Fraggle (Fraggle Rock)
P - I should've brought my mittens.
L - Why?
P - Because Cantus is so cooooool!
L - He is. You've just gotta love him. You said that Gobo was always singing, but CANTUS, well, Cantus IS music!
P - Cantus embodies music like Oscar embodies trash. Or Fozzie embodies bad jokes!
L - He also embodies what is possibly the greatest diction of any Muppet. For example, "There are no rules... and those are the rules."
P - And, "I should've brought my mittens."
L - ...Yes, and that. Anyway. Music grows in the rose, rock and rain and the blowin' snowstorm, everything seems to sing, everywhere I go...
P - Ping!
L - And he received his pipe from a mysterious and invisible... A mysterious and invisible...
P - What?
L - No one knows. It was so mysterious... and invisible.
P - Hmmm... go... and find your songs.
L - Yes. You have heard enough. Now, it is time to listen.
P - Listening is the first step, and the last.
L - The middle steps, you must find on your own.
P - That is not something Cantus said. But I think it might be something he thought, you think?
L - I think that if he thought it, he intended us to think it, which we have, so perhaps he did intend it, which would mean that he had thought it.
P - You think?
L - The question is... do YOU?
P - Do I... or do you. Do we? Do any of us?
L - Some do, and some do not. It is most unfortunate that those who do not, do not, but some must not, or everyone would.
P - Would they though? Choices, it's all about choices.
L - Yes, choices. The choice to hear or to listen, to talk or to speak... to sing, or to dance to another's song.
P - Or to sing another’s song while another sings your own.
L - That is not the best choice, but it is a choice that some make.
P - Songs... is there anything more that we need?
L - There is. The means to play them, sing them, and hear them.
P - Hearing! That is the most important!
L - For we can only listen to what we hear.
P - And only hear what we listen for.
L - And only play what we have heard and listened to.
P - And only listen and hear what is played.
L - And only play what we choose to.
P - Especially if that choice is a walkin', talkin', breathin' ball of fire!
L - I would like to take this opportunity to point out that Cantus was such an incredible Jim character that when the Juhl's were given the opportunity to name a cove on their property, they named it for Cantus.
P - Indeed they did! And Cantus was as much Jim as any of his other characters! ...Can I PLEASE talk about Convincing John here since we forgot him on this list?
L - Very well. But I like Cantus way better.
P - Thank you, I do too, just need to say something. I could totally see Jim in an ugly plaid suit knocking on my door trying to sell me something through song. And me totally buying it.
L - Hey, if Jim Henson tried to sell me something, I'd buy it just for the sake of buying something from Jim Henson! ...It would be rather difficult nowadays, mind you, but... Yes.
P - Well duh. But anyway! CANTUS ROCKS!
L - He DOES! And I think he would TOTALLY be even higher on the list, if only there weren't so many awesome Muppets in the world.
P - Indeed he would. I think he's probably the only character this high on the list to appear only five times.
P - Actually, I know he is.
L - How many characters on this ENTIRE list only appear five times?
P - ...I'll get back to you on that.
L - I have a feeling it's not a lot, which speaks volumes about Cantus.
P - Exactly. And Cantus doesn't even have to speak in volumes, his voice is perfect.
L - And I LOVE the way he talks. And I love his PIPE! And his clothes, and the way he looks, and just- EVERYTHING! I mean... Honestly, I can find SOMETHING about most of the Muppets on this list that I don't ABSOLUTELY LOVE. But Cantus? The only thing I don't ABSOLUTELY LOVE about him is the only-five-appearances thing. But even that, I kind of like, because it makes us appreciate him more.
P - *blink* Exactly.
L - ...Have we said everything already? How about his wandering ways, and how it was a reflection of Jim at the time...
P - And how he is just totally a reflection of Jim with a pipe!
L- And- ...And- ...And how CONFUSING he is! But still the leader of the minstrels! And just- ...just... FANTASTICABULOUS IN EVERY WAY AND IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!
P - Yes. Yes he is.
L - He is indeed.
P - *happy sigh* Moving on?
L - <Happy sigh> I suppose.
9. Ernie and Bert (Sesame Street)
L - Prawnie? Do you know there's a banana in your ear?
P - Beg pardon?
L - I said, you have a banana in your ear!
P - I'm sorry, did you say something?
L - I SAID, You have a BANANA in your EAR!
P - Hmm? Oh, sorry Lisa, I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
L - ...GAAAAH!
P - What more do we need to say?
L - They're not gay.
P - ...Thank you for that.
L - Unless we mean 'gay' as in 'happy,' in which case, they are.
P - Oh, indeed, but who means it that way anymore?
L - Christmas carols.
P - I hear they're being audited.
L - Oh, pity. But anyway, about Ernie and Bert.
P - Where does their income come from?
L - Well, Bert makes some money as president of the Association of W lovers,
and Ernie, um... Um?
P - Um. Exactly. But who cares? They're Ernie and Bert! Or... Bert and Ernie I
guess.
L - Exactly. The vertical and horizontal stripes. The up-tight and the laid-back. The Frank and the Jim.
P - In my opinion, the best thought out, designed, and played Muppets.
L - You know when they were first playing with the characters, Frank tried Ernie and Jim tried Bert? And then they switched, and stayed switched.
P - Yup! I believe they looked in the mirror and Jim said, "This doesn't feel right, let's switch."
L - Thank goodness for that. I can't imagine those two being switched from the way they are.
P - GOSH no. Can you imagine an uptight Jim?
L - ...I think that's oxy-moronic. OH! WAIT!
P – Huh?
L - Ernie and Bert were in my paper! Where, um... Stall! I'll look!
P - Stall? STALL? ...*does a soft-shoe dance step*
L - ...Oh, nice. I found it!
P - I am SO good...
L - "Putting more emphasis on a character’s slimness, Muppet designer and
builder Don Sahlin gave Sesame Street’s uptight character Bert a thin body with a tall, skinny, pointy head, and a vertically striped shirt. His all-vertical features are perfectly offset by his counterpart Ernie, also created by Don Sahlin. Ernie is a shorter, fatter character with a shorter, fatter head and horizontal stripes that make him more relaxed and laid back."
P - Love it! And SO true! So... who you prefer? Bert or Ernie?
L - Wait! There's more in the paper!
P - There's always more...
L - "Ernie’s red nose fits with European clown tradition, in which there are two kinds of clowns- “red nose,” the jokester, and “white face,” the straight man. Bert is certainly the straight man on Sesame Street, and although he does not have a white face, Ernie the jokester is a perfect fit to his red nose."
P - Wow, awesome comparison. So... Bert or Ernie?
L - Ernie or Bert.
P - Curse you.
L - Hey! That is very un-Sesame of you!
P - Oh please, like mentioning gay wasn't?
L - It's not MY fault so many people misinterpret their friendship.
P - True, but ya didn't have to go and say it. Anyway! Rubber Duckie! The
biggest hit the Muppets have had since Piggy's karate chop!
L - RUBBER DUCKIE! Oh! So last month I was visiting the Hebrew School where I used to work. The most urgent question any student or students had for me? "MISS LISA! What's the second verse to Rubber Duckie?"
P - Hahaha, how very pertinent and important!
L - Absolutely! So naturally, I started singing. I think that was the same day as when a student told me that she was doing a report on Frank Oz. It was a good day.
P - Oh I would imagine!
L - But back to the question at hand... I reverse it. Who do YOU like better?
P - Bert.
P - *waits for shocked reaction*
L - ...That- ...surprises me. Didn't you test an Ernie personality?
P - Yes. I am Ernie and Fozzie. And that's why I like Bert better.
L - ...Logical. Me, I'm more of an Ernie fan... but I really prefer the two of them together. For example, Bert collects, and Ernie has Rubber Duckie... So I collect rubber duckies.
P - Well I love them both, just Bert the very tiniest bit more. For instance, Ernie's songs are much better and more memorable than Bert's.
L - This is true. But I've gotta tell ya, I would LOVE it if Bert could give me a tiny lesson on how to do the pigeon. I'd do it all the time.
P - Haha, oh yes, that's definitely his "Rubber Duckie."
L - Absolutely! Gosh, I just wanna hug Bert now. I'm thinking about all the times he's been the butt of Ernie's jokes.
P - Which is all the time.
L - Yup! OH! You know what song I LOVE, speaking of Ernie and Bert?
P - Things That I Remember? Upside Down World? Dance Myself To Sleep?
P - (All of which are available to anyone who asks for them.)
L - ...Yes, yes, and yes! But I was specifically thinking of UPSIDE DOWN WORLD! I think it was the first song from Follow That Bird that I heard on Muppet Central Radio, and it reminded me how much I'd watched it when I was little, and wanted to watch it again, and... And I just LOVE the song! It's so typical of them, too, how it all pans out...
P - Oh I know! Bert ends up loving it, and Ernie leaves him hanging... upside down.
L - And poor Bert doesn't know how to fly the plane! I LOVE that they switch seats mid-flight, too.
P - That's just SO funny to me.
L - And to me! And Bert losing his bottle-cap collection...
P - That was very sad...
L - Yes, very. I hope Big Bird picked them up and brought them back to Sesame Street.
P - Knowing him, I bet he did.
L - Me too. I love the lyrics to the song, too. I randomly start singing it all the time when I need to cheer myself up.
P - Hehehe, I do that with "The Rhyming Song."
L - Oh, that's another fun one! OH! What about when Ernie and Bert did that rhyming game thing? And Ernie just sort of stopped as soon as Bert got enthused, so Bert tried to do it with a lamp...
P - Hahaha YES! Or the "La, La, La" song where Bert said "Linoleum!"
L - I randomly shout "Linoleum" whenever we start randomly la-la-la-ing on MSN in Bert's honor.
P - How awesome.
L - I guess I am kind of Bert-like. I'd love to do the pigeon, I collect all sorts of stuff, I take the linoleum line... And I'd much rather wear vertical stripes than horizontal. ...On the other hand, I can hardly see the floor of my bedroom for how messy it is, so... I've got a fair share of Ernie in me, too.
P - You're very evenly balanced. I'm all Ernie though.
L - But I've heard you keep your room very clean, which is very Bert-like of you. And you keep your Muppet merchandise very nicely and neatly arranged and displayed, which is also Bert-like.
P - I arrange the stuff because it's important to me, like Rubber Duckie, and I cleaned it for Layla's behalf.
L - Oh, alright. But you still CLEANED your room. I merely straightened mine enough to walk into it.
P - Well that was nice of you.
L - I tried. But you CLEANED! I think everyone has a little Bert and a little Ernie in them, and that's part of why we like them so much: They very comedically portray the struggle between up-tight and laid-back within all of us.
P - Exactly!
L - Which also makes them very easy to relate to. I can definitely understand Bert's frustration with Ernie's banana-in-the-ear gag when a Hebrew school student insists on using a phony English accent instead of concentrating on his work, but I can also understand Ernie's love of provoking Bert when Leyla and I are having a competition to see who can get Beau to fall off of his chair first...
P - Yup, yup. Everyone's Ernie, everyone's Bert. But only they are themselves.
L - Which is why they struggled getting actors to portray them for a gingerbread-man-in-the-ear gag in the recent Sesame Christmas special.
P - Which is the funniest thing to come from them in years.
L - And SUCH an awesome nod to the old banana-in-the-ear gag.
P - Which is completely AWESOME because they NEVER reference old school Sesame!
L - Well then, it's about time!
P - And really it wasn't a nod! It was a full blown parody! They freakin' parodied themselves! Can they do that?
L - Apparently they can, because they DID! And it was awesome.
P - Just like Ernie and Bert.
L - Or Bert and Ernie.
P - Eh, I like 'em both.
L - You know once, in a fanfiction, I was having a character think about all the inseparable friendships they could think of, and I didn't know whether to say "Ernie and Bert" or "Bert and Ernie," so I used both. "Ernie and Bert. Bert and Ernie."
P - Hahaha! Oh I love that.
L - It was fun! ...Or at least, it's fun in hindsight. At the time, I believe I was just frustrated with my indecisiveness.
P - Go figure. Are we done here?
L - I think we are. Next?
P - Yes.
L - Wait- ...Here, put in these earplugs.
P - ...*does so*
L - Trust me.
P - Do I have a choice?
L - Nope.
P - And this is my life, folks!
8. Robin the Frog (The Muppet Show)
L - ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!
P - *reading newspaper* Hm.
L - ROBIN! Robin Robin Robin Robin ROBIN! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE THIS FROG! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ROBIN ROBIN ROBIN ROBIN!
P - *flips through paper* Huh, the Phillies won...
L - ROBIN! KERMIT'S LITTLE NEPHEW ROBIN! HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE! <SQUEALS!>
P - *reading* I didn't realize Iowa was still a state...
L - AND "BLESS US ALL" JUST CAME ON MY PLAYLIST! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
P - *folds up paper* *starts smoking pipe with bubbles coming out of it* I
should probably check the stocks...
L - HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADORABLE! AND HE'S GOT THE CUUUUUUUUTEST LITTLE SWEEEEEEEEEETEST VOICE AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM! HALFWAY DOWN THE STAIRS! LEAVE ME SOME MAGIC! FUN FUN FUN! FROG KISSING! SIR ROBIN THE BRAVE! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!
P - *blowing bubbles* *wonders where to check stocks*
L - AND AND AND! ROBIN'S SO CUTE AND LITTLE BUT BECAUSE HE'S SO LITTLE HE GETS IGNORED WHICH IS SAAAAAAAAAD! BUT REMINDS ME OF ME! Which might be why I like him so much. BUT I DIGRESS! HE'S AWWWWWWWWESOME! AND HE FITS IN THE TUBA! AND THINKS IT'S FUN! AND HE TRIED TO RUN AWAY ONCE, BUT HE FELL IN THE SUITCASE, AND THEN BERNADETTE PETERS SANG "JUST ONE PERSON" AND IT GOT ALL BETTER!
P - *ignores Robin for stocks*
L - AND THEN HE SANG "JUST ONE PERSON" IN THE JIM HENSON MEMORIAL AND MADE THAT ALL BETTER TOO! Well... Not ALL better, but PRETTY DARN CLOSE! AND HE'S CUUUUUUUUTE! AND HE'S GOT THE SWEEEEEETEST LITTLE VOICE! I think I said that already. BUT HE DOOOOOOOOOES!
P - Hmm... Why would Enron's stocks be up? *shrugs*
L - AND HE'S KERMIT'S NEPHEW, which like, TOTALLY DOUBLES HIS CUTE VALUE! AND HE ADOOOOOOOOOOOORES HIS UNCLE KERMIT, which TRIPLES his cute value! AND HE'S ADORABLE! And he is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute when he harmonizes with Kermit! It's FREAKING ADORABLE! And it sounds SOOOOOOO GOOD, TOO!
P - *looks at watch* Didn't I have that thing to do with Lisa...
L - AND HE'S A FROG SCOUT! FROG SCOUT FROG SCOUT FROG SCOUT!
P - Hmm... it's probably too late to do it now... I'll just stay here.
L - AND HE'S SUUUUUUUCH AN OPTIMIST! LIKE IN "IT'S A VERY MERRY MUPPET CHRISTMAS MOVIE!" When Kermit's all down in the dumps and "It was all for nothing" And Robin's all like, "But it'll be okay, RIGHT Uncle Kermit? We'll just pull together, and- everything will be fine!" I am telling you, NO MUPPET believes in The Muppet Ideals as strongly as Robin! BECAUSE HE'S BEING RAISED WITH THEM! I am so jealous of that little cutie...
P - *hears whistle* I should get the tea off the stove...
L - AND HE'S A FROG SCOUT! With his cute little uniform and badges and he works SO HARD for those badges! You just gotta love him! He is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SWEEEEEEEEEEET!
P - Did I ever mail Lisa that Robin action figure... Oh I'm sure I did. *sips tea*
L - <Points at Prawnie> He did! The only action figure I own is of ROBIN! FROG SCOUT ROBIN! SOOOOOO adorable. I have him standing on his trunk with his backpack on talking to the little penguin figure thing I bought in Israel. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADORABLE! AND I LOVE IT!
P - *yawns*
L - Maybe I should get Prawnie to take his earplugs out so that he can contribute.
P - *nods off*
L - Yeah, I think I should. <Reaches over and pulls earplugs out of Prawnie's ears> PRAWNIIIIIIIIIE!
P - *falls out of chair*
L - Sorry, but you were falling asleep. ROBIN! ROBIN! ROBIN! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ROBIN!
P - Oh, yeah, Robin, he's great.
L - ...<Headslap> He's MORE than GREAT, you lousy prawn! He's NUMBER EIGHT ON THE LIST! He didn't get there for nothing!
P - I have to save my energy.
L - ...<Sigh> Lousy Prawn. It's ROBIN! You've GOTTA say SOMETHING!
P – Rabbi.
L - ...<Whacks Prawnie over the head with a frying pan>
P - *unconscious* *wonders how to do the rest of the list*
L - ...<Splashes cold water on Prawnie's face>
P - *wet* *spits out water*
L - Should we move on to the next Muppet?
P - Hmm... I feel like I haven't gotten to say anything about Robin.
L - <HEADSLAP>
P - Wocka! Wocka!
L - DID you have anything to say about Robin?
P - He's the highest ranking Jerry Nelson character on the list.
L - WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
P - My sentiments exactly.
7. Rowlf the Dog (The Muppet Show)
P - I'm Rowlf, Rowlf the Dog. Sitcherself down.
L - ROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLF!
P - Don't make me get the earplugs again...
L - ...<Pouts>
P - Thank you. Now, I recall somewhere, not sure where, you comparing Rowlf and Fozzie. You said they were both comedians, only one of them isn't professional, and the other's not funny.
L - Yup! That was after Beau and I were stalking you.
P - I thought so, yes. Well it's very true.
L - It is! He's just dog-gone funny!
P - Ooh, nice.
L - Thank you. He's legendary for his punning and fetching.
P - I love that dog so much... his SINGING! That piano!
L - HE'S AWESOME!
P - Favorite Rowlf song?
L - Tough call... I'm gonna say... “I've Never Harmed An Onion.”
P - Gosh, really? I mean, it's great yes. But my favorite has to be "What a Wonderful World." Followed VERY closely by "I Hope That Somethin' Better Comes Along" and "You and I and George."
L - Oh, those are good too. "I Hope That Somethin' Better Comes Along" is definitely one of my favorites. I know it's really sort of aimed against women, but it always cheers me up.
P - Oh I like it BECAUSE it's aimed against women... *happy sigh* Such a truthful song...
L - Yup. ...HEY! ...Yeah... <Ahem> I also like it when he sings songs that other Muppets have sung.
P - Oh me too. "Bein' Green" is another personal favorite and good example of that.
L - Along with "Wishing Song" and "Carbon Paper." I especially love "Carbon Paper."
P - Oh my gosh, "Carbon Paper" is one of my favorite Muppet songs EVER.
L - LOVE IT! Considered singing it for a talent show that ended up not happening.
P - Oh that would've been funny. I should sing "I Hope That Something Better Comes Along." Just to spite.
L - <Scrunchy face> <Ahem> The funniest thing would've been seeing how many of today's college students know what carbon paper is, and I mean the stuff, not the song.
P - Haha, the song too...
L - Well, yes. But anyway! ROOOOOOOWLF!
P - Rowlf, Rowlf the Dog.
L - One of the oldest Muppets.
P - First one to be on national television.
L - He even went on tour!
P - He did! Gosh, he's so awesome... Wonder when he first played the piano. Was it just a TMS thing?
L - No, I'm pretty sure he had a piano on Jimmy Dean. Which reminds me, at one point, he got more fan-mail than Jimmy Dean did!
P - He did! Because he's ROWLF of course!
L - And he is FREAKING AWESOME!
P - Which is why he's so high up. I just... I LOVE Rowlf. Think about how much his popularity HASN'T died down, even though it had plenty of chances.
L - I KNOOOOOW! He's one of the EARLIEST Muppets to appear in the 2008 day-by-day Muppet calendar!
P - Rowlf, my friend, was the FOURTH Muppet to appear on said calendar. Before Gonzo, before Animal, before Beaker.
L - Before the Swedish Chef!
P - Before... well, a lot of Muppets!
L - YEAH! AND, and and, he was technically there displayed for TWO days, since it was a Saturday/Sunday page of the calendar. And BOY, does he DESERVE it!
P - SHA! And a GREAT picture too. (Okay folks, if you can't tell by now, you need to go buy this calendar.)
L - (You MUST buy this calendar!) With the piano! Rowlf with his piano!
P - The way it should be!
L - Absolutely!
P - Rowlf has been in every single Muppet movie, has he not?
L - Um... Yes, he has! He even got a reference in Kermit's Swamp Years!
P - And how many Muppets can say that? Honestly!
L - Um... Three, if you include Rowlf. Plus two cameos.
P - Indeed, and we already talked about them. Well... wait, Wilson had an Animal keychain, didn't he?
L - Yes, that's one of the references. The other is the most vague. "A pig, huh? Well, I never wanna see another one of those again!"
P - Yup, yup! Well... do we count Salmon Friends?
L - That wasn't a reference to a specific Muppet. That was a reference to a show title.
P - Good point. Anyway, ROWLF! He was even on Muppets Tonight!
L - Oh that I wouldn't know about. Praytell!
P - He played piano for Garth Brooks during "We Shall Be Free" (WHICH I WILL SEND TO YOU!) and chuckled at the camera.
L - Aw... I love the way he laughs. And his SMILE! And his EYES!
P - His eyes can peer right through you!
L - And they are PERFECT for his double-takes!
P - Oh his double takes are GREAT!
L - You know, I was looking through my paper the other day, because I was SURE that I said SOMETHING about Rowlf's eyes... And I didn't! And I really wish I had, because his double-takes ARE so great with those eyes, but he can also look- and BE- so deep and pensive... It's awesome.
P - I love Rowlf.
L - Who doesn't?
P - I don't know, what kind of question is that?
L - I was just on the phone for an hour and fifteen minutes, in case you hadn't noticed. How deeply do you expect me to think right now?
P - *ahem* Sorry.
L - Thank you. So... Rowlf is freaking awesome. Did we say that yet?
P - Once or twice, yes.
L - Oh good. Did we say that he's my roommate?
P - We have not! We forgot that about poor Robin too!
L - How do you know? You had your ears plugged the whole time. But yes, we did.
P - I have my ways...
L - Oh fine then. Yes, Robin and Rowlf are roomies of mine over in Muppet Central Dorms.
P - They are?
L - They are, along with the Swedish Chef, not that anyone would know, for how rarely I show up there.
P - That's why I was confused.
L - Yes, well... Meant to frequent there over my break... Haven't yet.
P - Obviously. Oh well, I don't have much room to talk, I haven't been there much lately either.
L - Happens. Rowlf actually almost prevented me from joining Dorms to begin with.
P - Haha, why?
L - Because he had already been claimed as a roommate, and since Robin had also been taken, I just didn't know with whom to room.
P - Ohhhh. Well, that's a good reason. Can we move on before we dig ourselves deeper and more people realize we should post there more often?
L - Yes, why don't we.
6. The Great Gonzo (The Muppet Show)
P - Oh, yeah, that helps us move off the topic of Dorms... *ahem* GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONZO!
L - Now, if Rowlf comes before Gonzo in the calendar, how did Gonzo beat Rowlf on the list? ...Don't make me take the earplugs back.
P - *bouncy* WHY? WHY did Gonzo beat Rowlf? I'll tell ya why!
L - Okay, tell.
P - HE HAS GREAT IN HIS NAME!
L - ...And here I thought you were going to point out that he was a favorite of Jerry Juhl's.
P - Oh, sure, steal my next idea.
L - That's what halves are for!
P - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONZO!
L - OH! He was in my paper!
P - *mutters* Stealing my thunder...
L - On The Muppet Show, a daredevil and performing artiste known as The Great Gonzo performs strange stunts such as eating a tire to the tune of “The Flight of the Bumblebee,” and he occasionally designs his stunts around the design of his blue hook-shaped nose, which is just as unusual as he is.
P - Nice. I actually sent my friend an MP3 of Gonzo eating the rubber tire to cheer her up.
L - I have a whole 'nother paragraph.
P - I saw that coming.
L - But The Great Gonzo was not always a successful character. Jim Henson originally built him without any particular character traits in mind, and gave him a gloomy expression with half-closed eyes. It was six years before the nameless puppet became The Great Gonzo and needed a personality. During the first year of The Muppet Show, The Great Gonzo’s depressing character was as much of a failure as his acts were. But between seasons, his performer Dave Goelz rebuilt him with a mechanism that allowed him to open his eyes wide with excitement. Throughout the second season, Goelz was able to develop the happy side of Gonzo, who has since become a favorite of the Muppet characters.
P - Can I go now?
L - You're the one who has Muppets From Space memorized.
P - Thank you. I LOVE GONZO! I LOVE MUPPETS FROM SPACE! GONZO! DAVE GOELZ! GONZO! MOTORCYCLE! PUDDING! MOLD! *EXPLODES*
L - ...<Sweeps up> <Glues Prawnie back together> Go on.
P - *pants* Thank you. FAVORITE GONZO THING EVAH! I'M GOING TO GO BACK THERE SOMEDAY! BEST MUPPET SONG! MY FAVORITE OF ANY AND ALL SONGS! GONZO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
L - <Puts on earmuffs> And?
P - ZANZIBAR! ZANZIBARBARIANS! CHARLES DICKENS! TIN THING! EVERYONE MATTERS! MUPPET CLASSIC THEATER! CAMILLA! TURKEY! I KNEW YOU'D LEARN TO LOVE US! 1812 OVERTURE PLAYED ON CANNONS! DRESSING BROOKE SHIELDS LIKE MISS PIGGY! NOAH! JAWS! KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECAPS!
L - Say cheese?
P - CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!
L - <Giggles> Bombay, India.
P - RIZZO! ELMO! DAVE! TAP-DANCING IN A VAT OF TAPIOCA PUDDING! NOSE! EYELIDS! HAIR TUFT! CELEBRATION! MUPPETS FROM SPACE! STARFISH IN PANTS! CHICKENS! BEING TOTALLY WEIRD AND DEFINING EVERYTHING A MUPPET SHOULD BE! ESPECIALLY WEIRD! BUT ALSO HEARTFELT AND CARING AND GONZO AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
L - <Adjusts earmuffs> Did you mention Camilla yet?
P - Yes, of course I did. *clears throat* MY WAY! HUGS! TEDDY BEAR! SMASHING A CAR WITH A CROQUET MALLET!
L - Oh yeah, the teddy bear! I almost forgot about that.
P - APPARENTLY SO DID THE WRITERS!
L - Beg pardon?
p - Apparently they forgot about the teddy bear too. It never came back. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONZO!
L - Ah. Poor teddy bear. ...Hey, you haven't said anything about the change of Gonzo's outfits over the years.
P - MAROON SUIT! SWEATER VEST! CHILI PEPPER SHIRT! I LOVE THAT CHILI PEPPER SHIRT!
L - And the chicken tie...
P - Oh the tie with the hula dancing chicken! LOVE that so much! That was his MFS-era outfit.
L - Ahhh. OH! Oh I have a comment from the Muppet Treasure Island computer game.
P - Whip it out!
L - Yes sir. First of all, one of your chores as "Hawkins" aboard the Hispanola is to load ammunition into a jolly boat... using Gonzo's nose. Also, when you're on the island, trying to avoid the pirates and find the treasure, Gonzo suggests to Rizzo that they create a diversion, so they randomly run around the island and probably don't distract a single pirate, but it's funny!
P - Hahahaha! Oh that is HILLARIOUS! I love Gonzo. I. Love. GONZO.
L - So you've mentioned.
P - Alright, well I'm starting to lose my voice. Should we break it to the folks at home that we're stopping here tonight?
L - I suppose we should. Folks at home, we're stopping here tonight!
P - And there you have it. Remember everyone, Gonzo's awesome. Awesome, awesome, AWWWWWWESOME!
L - But if you were to combine Rowlf and Robin, they would TOTALLY be better.
P - *mouth drops* ...
L - What? You disagree? <Folds arms>
P - I have to disagree! I'm the obsessed Gonzo fan, remember?
L - Yes, well, I'm the obsessed Robin and Rowlf fan, so... don't make me reach for the frying pan.
P - Go ahead, I drank some anti-frying pan elixir!
L - <GLARES> <Whacks Prawnie over the head with a frying pan>
P - Ha! Didn't work.
P - ...*falls over*
L - G'night, folks!
P - Prawn... knocked... out...
L - Peace!
P - Please...
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