Chapter Thirty-six!
Beaker lugged the large, strange contraption out onto the stage.
“Very good, Beaker,” Bunsen said. He was standing next to the machine, where a small group of Muppets had gathered.
Rizzo looked skeptically at the lunk of metal. “
What is
that?” he said.
“A very fine question, Mr. Rizzo!” Bunsen said. “I’m glad you asked. This is our latest invention: The Muppet Labs Pie Maker Extraordinaire. It will create the perfect pie in a mere matter of minutes. All you have to do is put the empty pie tin in this slot, put the desired ingredients down this chute, press this button, and the Pie Maker Extraordinaire does the rest!”
Rizzo looked it over. “And then you got a pie?”
“Yes,” Bunsen said, “The pie comes out right here.” He pointed to a conveyor belt that came out of a large hole on the side of the machine.
“Well then, let’s fire it up!” Rizzo said. “Come on, I’m hungry!”
“Oh Rizzo, you’re
always hungry!” Gonzo said as he entered the stage. He noticed the machine. “What’s that?”
“That is the Muppet Labs Pie Maker Extraordinaire,” Bunsen said. “Go ahead, Beakie.”
“Mee me mo!” Beaker put a pie tin in the slot.
“Good!” Bunsen said. “Now, what kind of pie would you like to make?”
Fozzie came running onto the stage. “Hey guys, guys, do you know where I could get another cream pie? I need one for my act.”
“Why don’t we just make one?” Gonzo suggested. He pointed to the machine.
“Excellent idea, Mr. Gonzo!” Bunsen said. “One cream pie coming right up. Beaker, if you would.”
“Mee mo!” Beaker pushed a large red button, and three lights came on. He lifted a large bucket of cream and dumped the contents into the chute. A few gauges went up, more lights came on, and the machine started chugging and clinking and churning and steaming. More and more lights came on, and the steam intensified. Suddenly the machine stopped and a strobe light on the top turned on.
“Oh dear,” Bunsen said. “The Pie Maker Extraordinaire seems to be jammed. Beaker, if you would push the blue button, please.”
Beaker pushed a large blue button and was immediately sucked into the cute. “MEE MEE MEE!” The machine started up again, with loud meeps in addition to the chugging and clinking and churning and steaming. After a few seconds, a perfect cream pie shot out of the machine, off of the conveyor belt, across the stage, and finally slammed onto an unsuspecting face.
The surprised victim reached up and removed the pie tin from his head. His face was completely covered with cream, and he was almost unidentifiable. “Well gee,” he said, “If that’s the kind of welcome I get, maybe I’ll just go back to the swamp.” He started to turn around, and the young frog at his side followed.
“
KERMIT!”
They ran over and surrounded him, all shouting their greetings.
“Hi guys!” Kermit said.
“Mr. Kermit, I’m terribly sorry about the pie,” Bunsen said.
“Yeah, well,” Kermit put the pie tin upside down on Bunsen’s head. “Don’t worry about it.”
Fozzie wiped the cream off of Kermit’s face. “Kermit! You’re back!”
Kermit spat out some cream the bear had wiped into his mouth. “No Fozzie that’s my face,” he said.
“Hey, that’s funny!” Fozzie said. “Can I use that?”
“Uh, sure,” Kermit said, “If you can get it into an act somehow.”
“Oh that’s the easy part!” Fozzie said. “I’ll just uh... Well I’ll uh... Um...”
Kermit nodded. “Uh huh,” he said, “That’s what I thought.”
Fozzie looked at his cream covered hands and wiped them on the back of Gonzo’s shirt.
Gonzo didn’t notice. “Welcome back, Kermit!” he said. “Hey, I’ve got this great idea for an act, do you think-“
“Gonzo, if it has to do with another 50,000 gallon tank of cooking oil, the answer is no,” Kermit interrupted.
“This one isn’t so bad, Boss,” Scooter said.
Kermit put his hand on the go-fer’s arm. “In that case, I
really need to be worried,” he said.
“What was so bad about the cooking oil?” Gonzo asked.
“Yo, Kerm!” Clifford slapped the frog on the back. “Welcome back!”
Kermit stumbled forward. “Thanks, Clifford,” he said. “It’s great to be back.”
“Si, now jou get to use de Jacuzzi again, hokay,” Pepe said.
Kermit scrunched his face up. “That isn’t quite what I was thinking of,” he said.
“Good to see you, Kermit,” Rowlf said.
“Good to see you too, Rowlf,” Kermit said.
“Hey check it out! Green stuff’s back!” Floyd called out. The Electric Mayhem climbed up onto the stage.
“Hey Kermit,” Dr. Teeth said.
“Like, welcome back, rully,” Janice said.
“Yeah hey Kermit,” Lips said.”
“KERMIT! KERMIT!” Animal charged at Kermit and Robin. The two frogs hopped out of the way. Kermit laughed, and Robin landed in a large hand.
“Hey Little Buddy,” Sweetums said.
Robin hugged the monster. “SWEETUMS!”
Kermit turned back to the Electric Mayhem. “So I heard you guys were in charge for a while,” he said.
“Yeah, we were top dogs for a couple days,” Dr. Teeth said.
Floyd shook his head. “Never again, man,” he said.
“Why not?” Kermit asked.
“There’s like, way too much paperwork, fer sure,” Janice said.
Clifford raised his hand. “I second that,” he said.
“Me too,” Scooter said, also raising his hand.
Rowlf raised his paw. “Agreed!”
Kermit laughed and raised his hand. “I think that’s unanimous,” he said.
“
KERMIE!” Miss Piggy seemingly appeared out of nowhere and tackled Kermit, immediately smothering him with kisses.
“Hi Piggy,” he said when he managed to get to his feet again. “It’s good to see you too.” Gonzo, Pepe, Rizzo, and Clifford started snickering. Kermit scrunched his face up at them, and they nervously coughed or cleared their throats.
“Uh, Boss?” Scooter said. “I know you just got back, but we’ve really got a lot of work to do.”
“Yeah, we made a bunch of mistakes for you to fix,” Clifford said.
“For example, the hole in the stage,” Rowlf said.
Kermit started walking across the stage. There was no visible hole. “It looks like you already fixed that,” he said. “There’s no hole any mo-AAAAA!” The stage broke again and he fell through. Fozzie and Gonzo reached down and pulled him out of the hole. “Well,” he said, “Maybe it needs a little work.”
Suddenly the Muppet Labs Pie Maker Extraordinaire made a loud bang.
They had never seen a flying pie-shaped Beaker before.
“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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