Chapter thirty-three. ...Thirty-three?!? Sheesh!
Kermit and Miss Piggy walked down the hallway and came to a stop in front of room 125. Kermit stepped between the door and Miss Piggy, and put his hand on her arm. “Piggy?” he said.
“Yes Kermie?” she said sweetly.
He hesitated. Then he shrugged, and kissed her on the cheek.
She gasped and snatched him close to her. “Oh, Kermie,” she sighed.
He buried his face in her hair. Then he turned his head slightly, and noticed the door right across the hall from her room. It was partly opened, and from bottom to top, he could plainly see the faces of Pepe, Scooter, Gonzo, Fozzie, Rowlf, and Clifford, all watching. He scrunched his face up at them, and they quickly tucked their heads back behind the door and banged it shut.
Miss Piggy flinched, he straightened up, and she started to turn to see what had made the noise. Without thinking, he put his hand on her cheek to keep her from looking. Their eyes locked. And then she nearly tackled him with kisses.
He put his hand against the wall to keep from falling over, and scrunched his face up. “Piggy,” he said.
“Oh sorry Kermie!” she said as she straightened up. Her hair had been tossed about and a piece of it was now stuck on her ear. He watched her as she fumbled with her key, opened the door, and stepped inside. “Well,” she said as she turned to face him. She sighed. “Goodnight, Kermie,” she whispered.
He reached up and fixed the stray piece of hair. “Goodnight, Piggy,” he said. Feeling brave, he kissed her cheek again. She sighed and fell flat on her back. He frowned. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Fine!” she called up to him.
“Oh,” he shrugged. “Well, goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Kermie!” she said.
He closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh. He smiled a very tiny smile. Then he fixed his eyes on the door across the hall, to room 126. He walked over, lifted his hand to knock, and hesitated. He took a napkin off of a nearby room service cart and wiped his face with it. Then he knocked.
Sweetums opened the door. “Hey Kermit,” he said, “Come on in.”
Kermit closed the door behind him. Sweetums sat in a chair next to the bed. The others were all sitting on the bed, playing poker. They looked up at Kermit.
“Hey guys,” he said as he hopped up onto the bed.
“Hey,” they said.
“Come on, Pepe,” Clifford said, “Could you show us your cards
this century, please?”
“Hokay, hokay!” Pepe said. He slapped his cards down on the bed and almost everyone moaned.
“Darn,” Scooter said, “I thought you were bluffing.”
“He wasn’t, but I was,” Fozzie said as he laid his cards down. “I got nothing.”
Pepe laughed. “Jour up, Rowlf,” he said, “How bad did I beat jou, hokay?”
Rowlf shook his head. “Sorry,” he said as he laid his cards down. “Full house.”
“What?” Pepe said. “Dat’s unbelievable! Jou must have cheated, hokay.”
“Oh relax, Pepe,” Fozzie said, “It’s just a game.”
“Just a game? Just a game?” Pepe pointed to the pile of cash Rowlf was sweeping in. “Dat’s monies, hokay!”
Rowlf chuckled. “So Kermit,” he said, “Are you walking out on Miss Piggy?”
Kermit scrunched his face up. “Don’t you guys have anything better to do than spy?” he said.
“No,” Fozzie said.
“Not really,” Sweetums said.
“Well,” Gonzo said, “We could balance pickles, lima beans and asparagus on our noses while doing the who’s wearing my pants polka.” They stared at him. “What?”
Clifford shook his head. “Naw Kerm, we’ve checked out this whole town, and there’s nothing to do here. Man, the way you talk about this place, you’d think it was Oz.”
Fozzie looked up. “
Frank Oz?”
“I think he meant the movie,” Gonzo whispered.
“I thought he meant the wizard,” Scooter whispered.
Clifford started dealing the cards. “Hey Kerm, you wanna play a hand?”
Kermit shook his head. “I can’t, I-“
“Si, he’s gotta get back to his lover across de hall, hokay,” Pepe said. He turned to Kermit. “Which is disgusting, hokay, Kermin,” he went on. “I can’t believe jou would want to kiss her, hokay.”
Kermit frowned. “How do
you know I kissed her?”
They stared at him, frozen.
He swallowed. “Uh, that is, um... How
would you know, uh...
if, um...”
Scooter shook his head. “Too late, Boss, you slipped,” he said.
Kermit scrunched his face up and looked down at the floral-print bedspread. “Sheesh,” he muttered.
“Well don’t keep her waiting,” Rowlf said, nodding towards the door.
“Or at least play a hand if you do,” Clifford said.
Kermit snapped his head up, with his face still scrunched. “That is
not why I’m not playing,” he said.
“
Sure it isn’t,” Gonzo said.
“No, I’m serious, guys,” Kermit said. “My brothers and sisters and I all wanted to wait at the hospital with Mom and Dad, so we divided it into shifts. My shift starts at nine.”
“Si, but it’s almost nine now, hokay,” Pepe said.
Kermit looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “Yipes!” He hopped off the bed. “I’ll see ya later, guys!” He said as he bolted out the door and down the hall.
Pepe shook his head. “Dios mio, dat’s one crazy frog, hokay?”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Maggie was tapping her foot with her arms folded across her chest and a devious twinkle in her eye when Kermit burst into the waiting room. “How’s Mom?” he said as he ran over.
She tilted her head to the side. “First tell me why the frog who’s usually five minutes early is now ten minutes late,” she said.
He scrunched his face up. “Margaret!”
She smiled. “Oh, you’re calling me ‘Margaret,’ well this must be
really good!”
“Sheesh...”
She laughed. “Alright, I’ll let you slide this time,” she said. “Mom said she wants to talk to you as soon as you get here. She’s in room 218.”
“Right,” Kermit said as he started to run past her.
“Mit!” She grabbed his arm and pushed him into a secluded corner. “Turn around...”
He did. “Now what?” She took his collar off and he immediately flung his arms up by his neck. “
Margaret!”
“You got lipstick on it,” she said, putting it back on him inside out. “There, Mom won’t notice that.” She slapped him on the back. “Go.”
“Thanks Mags!” he called over his shoulder as he ran down the hall.
“Mit!” she called. She pointed in the opposite direction. “218’s
that way!”
He zoomed past her. “Thanks!”
She laughed and shook her head. “Holy mosquitoes,” she said. “What a crazy frog.”
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