Spring Forward: A Dinosaurs' Tale

[Fragglemuppet]

Oh my, sounds intriguing! And I was surprised to see Hopper as well;kind of another nod to the muppets! Just out of curiosity, what were you referring to earlier when you said there are some clues tha the Dinosaurs nd muppet universes were one in the same? I mean the way I see it, Pangia was the beginning of earth, which is the same earth that would later be home to the muppet theater, but was there anything else?
And from what you're saying, could the Dinosaurs series then have been inspired by what Fran is writing in this story? Love the way you tie all this together!

 

[RedPiggy]

Oh my, sounds intriguing! And I was surprised to see Hopper as well;kind of another nod to the muppets! Just out of curiosity, what were you referring to earlier when you said there are some clues tha the Dinosaurs nd muppet universes were one in the same? I mean the way I see it, Pangia was the beginning of earth, which is the same earth that would later be home to the muppet theater, but was there anything else?
And from what you're saying, could the Dinosaurs series then have been inspired by what Fran is writing in this story? Love the way you tie all this together!

Well, the 4th wall breaking seems to suggest that the dinosaurs are in the modern world and they know it's a show. One of the commercial bumpers, where they advertise their own show, had Robbie griping about how tv was filled with nothing but shows about humans -- which I take to mean modern ones that live alongside them. I mean, the Sinclairs even participated in a Disney World parade, a long time ago. If that doesn't suggest they're really in the modern world, I don't know what does, LOL. Of course, lots of Disney characters are in Disney World, but the Sinclairs were dressed specifically as tourists, similar to the garb they wore in the episode Wesaysoland.

Also, Gunge makes several cameos (okay, 3 I can think of off-hand). I would imagine that this is supposed to be Philo/Gunge's ancestor in terms of the story, but I can imagine using the actual Gunge to portray his own ancestor.

In fact, aside from some off-hand comments referencing Sesame Street and the Muppet Show, most of the allusions are from Fraggle Rock, particularly the Nuts to War 2-parter, which just exudes themes from FR.

So, basically, my theory is that Pangaea of the show Dinosaurs is the beginning of the Muppetverse, but somehow the Sinclairs and other crew we know of are actually in the modern world. This movie serves as an explanation of how they got here. Fran is trying to weed out all the misinformation about how dinosaurs REALLY lived, LOL, and so comes up with the show idea. It's similar to my Comeback King universe, where the show is based on Robbie's old home movies. No matter what the universe, the show is undoubtedly a show.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Ah, I'm not familiarwith Nuts to War, and I'm not sure about Wesaso Land, but I see what you mean. Thanks!

 

[RedPiggy]

Nuts to War was kind of like Fraggle Wars, in the sense that it's a "war is bad, m'kay" type story, LOL. There is a creature who is discovered to live in the wall ... that hadn't been there before. It sort of is the same kind of racial deal, though instead of the colorful Fraggles against the not-so-colorful ones, it's the two-legged dinosaurs against the four-legged ones, over pistachios (hence the title). It parodies the first Iraq War specifically, though ... well, it still fits. Unlike Mokey who was taken prisoner, Robbie is assumed dead at the front at one point, which changes Earl's mind that war was necessary.

Wesaysoland is a jab at theme parks. Dinosaurs were dying from overwork and the "vacation" was invented so they wouldn't die on the job. The Sinclairs get manipulated by Richfield into going to Wesayso's new theme park, which unfortunately was still under construction and patently unsafe. I don't know if it's related time-wise to their presence in the WDW parade.

 

[RedPiggy]

[Fade-in. An exterior shot the next day in the late morning. A huge two-story building faces the water of a river. On screen left the building is white. The screen right of the building is red brick. In the center, functioning as the junction of the two visible wings of the building is a glass cubic tower with a glass and metal pyramid-like top. A smokestack can be seen behind the white side of the building. A subtitle, Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, The Next Day, appears in the lower left corner. Roy is on the riverbank, admiring the serenity of the water. A Muppet woman with Caucasian coloring, a spherical head, luxurious red lips, thick black eyelashes, and curly black hair appears and sits beside Roy, sharing in the pleasant mood. The music is quiet and cheerful, but with a slight somber undertone, as if Roy still hasn’t totally forgiven himself over Monica.]

Red-lipped Muppet woman (sighs)

Roy (glances at her, smirking): Da museum doesn’t open just yet.

Red-lipped Muppet woman (shrugs): Oh, that’s okay. I just like coming here for the view sometimes.

Roy (nods): Yeah. It’s real pretty. *pauses* Of course, dat lake is real pretty too.

Red-lipped Muppet woman: What lake?

Roy: Well, da guys who work here said da lake we woke up near was called Crystal Lake.

Red-lipped Muppet woman: You mean Crater Lake? I haven’t been there yet. I’ve heard it’s gorgeous.

Roy (nods): Yeah. Reminds me o’ Monica. She had scales just dat shade o’ blue. *sighs wistfully*

Red-lipped Muppet woman (thoughtfully): You know, according to legend, the spirit chief of the mountain fell in love with the daughter of a human chief. He promised her everything if she’d only move in with him. She refused and he destroyed her people with fire and brimstone. The spirit chief of the sky took pity on the humans and forced the mountain spirit chief back into the mountain, which then blew up, collapsing all around him. A healing rain filled the hole with water. Peace returned to the land. *glances up at Roy, smiling sadly* I was once happily married. We had dreams of making it big on Broadway. *sighs* But my husband kept ruining things. He was addicted to interrupting our songs with asinine literal puns. I went along with it for a long time because I loved him and I thought it was important to just go along with any decision he made. *shrugs* But, his sense of humor caused me to get fired. I was blamed and tossed out on the street.

Roy (thinks for a few moments): I wanted Monica ta love me. She was a four-footah an’ I was a two-footah, but da t’ing was – she was smart an’ nice an’ she was ev’ryt’ing ta me. *voice wavers* She didn’t love me. … She t’ought I was stupid. … She t’ought I was beneath her. *catches himself, glancing at the Muppet woman with a smirk* Technically, she was, y’know. She was a good twice my height.

Red-lipped Muppet woman (nods sympathetically): But she didn’t respect your opinion.

Roy (shrugs): Normally I don’t come up wit’ many good ones.

Red-lipped Muppet woman: How would she know? Did she ever come to you for advice? How could she know you had bad opinions if she never asked for them in the first place?

Roy (unsure): Well, Earl can tell some stories …. *pauses for a few moments, his tone pleading, the music becoming more somber* Am I da spirit chief of da mountain? I mean – da love o’ my life refused to take dat love – an’, an’, an’ – an’ I took part in da destruction of an entire supercontinent.

Red-lipped Muppet woman (stares at him, speechless, jaw slightly agape)

Roy (sighs, his voice wavering): I guess I do deserve ta have my legs torn off, left bleeding on da side o’ da road.

Red-lipped Muppet woman (concerned): Oh, don’t say such a thing! I’ve been going to a fantastic counselor ever since. She’s helped me see that each individual has worth. We’re more than just throw-away background characters.

Roy (shrugs): I’m more of a supporting character. If my life were part of a show, I’d be named in da credits. *glances at her* I’m Roy, by da way.

Red-lipped Muppet woman (stares at Roy for a moment, irritated, and gets on her cellphone, curtly): Hello? Yes, I wanna make an appointment. *growls* Right now! *sighs* It’s Wanda. *snarls into the phone* If I don’t see my therapist today, I’ll make her wish she’d gone into hiding!

[The sene cuts to Charlene, who is hanging up the phone, shrugging. A quick cut to Charlene back in the same cell with Pearl, who’s sharing wild stories with the other females in the cell.]

Pear (laughs): An’ that’s why they called him Buttons!

Cell members (laugh)

Charlene: Well, I can’t seem to get Mom on the phone. It’s busy.

Prisoner 1: Maybe your momma’s calling around tryin’ to find you.

Prisoner 2: Wish my mom would. *pause* Probably shouldn’t have crashed the car into that ATM.

Charlene (sighs): What’s taking them so long? It’s not like she doesn’t know where we are. Why hasn’t Mom picked us up yet?

Pearl (chuckles): I’m gettin’ close to not wantin’ to leave. They got fine food, funny gals, an’ a state-of-the-art gym. What’s not to like?

Charlene (timidly): The lack of freedom?

Prisoner 3 (scoffs): Freedom how ya ended up here, girl. Follow your impulses without question, an’ you end up destroyin’ family, ruinin’ yer career … you gotta get yerself some self-discipline.

Charlene (raises an eyebrow): Why are you here?

Prisoner 3 (shrugs, smirking): Escaped durin’ the strangest bust I ever saw. The rangers over in that Crater Lake National Park got some West Side Story wannabes jackin’ up my homies.

Charlene: Someone beat up your friends?

Prisoner 3 (shakes her head): No, they actually jacked up my homies. They actually stole some jacks out of vehicles, actually stretched ‘em out, an’ actually sh --.

Charlene (eager to change the subject): Shouldn’t we go to the cafeteria and get something to eat? Brownies, anyone?

 

[RedPiggy]

[Flip transition to the Sinclair living room. Fran, Ethyl, and Earl are watching television, channel surfing through several programs. Fran is holding the remote.]

Earl (watching with irritation a clip of Liberace’s bird concert from The Muppet Show): This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.

Fran (curtly): What on Earth is it this time?

Earl (incredulously): We evolved into birds – and this is how we spend our lives – dancing all foo-foo in front of some lacy guy with a piano? Where’s the blood? Where’s the gore?

Fran (slightly angrier): Where’s Charlene? You still haven’t picked her up yet!

Earl (not looking at her): She has to learn the most important lesson you can have as a budding adult – if you screw up, you’ll lose your parents’ trust and affection.

Fran: Earl!

Earl (glances at her sharply, protesting): Pearl’s with her! Pearl can get her out!

Fran: They’re both in jail! They are your blood!

Earl (shakes head): No, they’re the blood-suckers, Fran. At least Baby is defenseless on purpose.

[Scene cuts to Baby, who is staring at a mountain lion that is perched atop the fence in the backyard.]

Baby: Ooooh, kitty!

Mountain lion (lunges and growls)

[Scene cuts back to the Sinclair living room.]

Earl: We have a son who’s going to some namby-pamby human college, finally forsaking his dinosaurian heritage; we have a daughter who’s decided to spend time with my good-for-nothing sister; and we have a son who’s bent on making my migraine permanent! Let’s face it, Fran – we failed as parents. Let’s just dump the whole bunch and go make some more. *gives her a seductive grin*

[In the background, the mountain lion can be seen trying to escape. Baby manages to grab it by the tail and yank it closer. The cat’s claws are frantically digging into the ground, its eyes wide in fear.]

Fran (stands up and heads toward the kitchen)

Earl: Where are you going?

Fran (not looking at him): Someone has to go get them, Earl.

Ethyl (glares at Earl and whaps him with her cane): You should have higher priorities in life, Fat Boy.

[The scene cuts to Fran in the kitchen. Just as she passes the phone on the wall, it rings. She goes to pick it up.]

Fran: Hello?

[The scene cuts to a well-decorated producer office. A tall brown bull with short curved horns is talking on the phone using an earpiece. His voice is suave and deep and his eyes are blinkable unlike most Muppets.]

Bull: Good morning, sweetie! *puts feet on the desk* I just wanted to say I have a set all ready for the show.

Fran (twirling her finger in the phone cord, glancing around the corner to the living room periodically): Oh, Mr. Knight, it’s you. Thank you for calling, but I really have to leave. May I call you back later?

Mr. Knight: I gotta go ahead and get the funding, dear. Of course, if I greenlight your tv pilot, I’m gonna need some place to shoot it.

Fran: Can’t we just shoot most of it at our house?

Mr. Knight: You wanna film an entire series out of your living room? *scoffs* Like that would make a good show. I need to wow the audience, sweetie.

Fran: You don’t understand. We live in Crater National Park. There’s lots of redwoods and other plants that evoke a certain ancient quality. Can we please talk about this later? I’ve got to go pick up my daughter at … uh … at school.

Mr. Knight: Hmm. Lemme crunch some numbers and talk to the rangers over there, and I’ll get back in touch with you, okay, honey? You just keep trying to get all the neighbors to play along, and I think we’ll have a smash hit on our hands. Bye bye. *hangs up*

Fran (hangs up, sighing)

[The camera cuts to the backyard, where Earl comes out of the back door, only to find Baby posing with a mountain lion pelt to imaginary fans.]

Earl: What’re you doing?

Baby: Posing for my commercial!

Earl: What commercial?

Baby: When they see me in this nice new coat – PETA’ll make a vindictive and over-wrought commercial, starring me! I’ll be a star!

Earl (shakes head, sighing): Sheesh.

[Fade-out.]

 

[The Count]

Why would the People for the Eating of Tasty Animals make that kind of... Oh, you mean the other PETA.
That's what they need, to be slammed down for their constant stupidity.

Thanks for updating.

 

[RedPiggy]

[Robbie is walking along Crater Lake with a Muppet woman. She has short black hair, goth-like black makeup around her eyes and lips, several metal studs in her rounded ears, black tube top and pants, and black necklaces. She also wears black heavy boots.]

Robbie (looks around): He’s got to be here somewhere, Zondra. *pauses, glances down at her* Oh – thanks for showing up, by the way.

Zondra (shrugs): No problem. If I had angered someone with a judgmentally rude comment, I’d want back-up too.

Robbie (sighs in disgust): I wasn’t being judgmental. It’s not being judgmental to tell him there are negative consequences to his lifestyle.

Zondra: Spoken like a true, self-righteous moron.

Robbie (offended): Hey! My father’s the self-righteous moron! I’m the liberal, idealistic one!

Zondra: And you sound like you displayed such a lovely example of that idealism in front of your best friend. Has it ever occurred to you that your friend’s looks and demeanor are irrelevant to their total worth? *stops him* Look at me – do you judge me based on my size and wardrobe?

Robbie (looks away uncomfortably): Of course not.

Zondra (playfully hits him in the leg): And well you should not, Padawan. The North American Society of Tinkerers is filled with all kinds of weirdos nowadays, but only a fool would mistake us for a bunch of pansies. Bunsen and Beaker alone have screwed with reality at least dozens of times a year. I’ve been in the Big House at least twice this decade for hacking communication systems. *looks down with some regret* Of course, I probably shouldn’t have tweaked Digit’s neural net. Hacking his mind was, I guess in hindsight, a little past the line of good taste.

[They stop as they reach a small campsite. One human and one huge, ferocious-looking Muppet Monster are playing wireless video games on handheld consoles. They stop as Robbie and Zondra approach.]

Human camper: You’re not gonna eat us, are ya?

Robbie (chuckles in embarrassment): Uh, no, not really.

Zondra (smirks): Unless he decides to have an early lunch.

Robbie (shaking his head): She’s joking. Not all dinosaurs are dumb, vicious brutes.

Zondra (nods): Yeah, just him.

Robbie (kneels and whispers in exasperation): What are you doing?

Zondra (whispers back): You aren’t armed, are you? Great, I pick the one dinosaur with no teeth.

Robbie: Hey!

Human camper: Uh, excuse us? We’d like to move the plot along, please. Is that all you dinosaurs do, just wander aimlessly around the forest? *glances at Muppet Monster* And they say we’re lazy and shiftless.

Muppet Monster (gruffly, shaking his head): It’s like all they do is walk around and have conversations. Where’s the action? Where’s the mayhem?

Robbie (inching back, chuckling): I think you guys have been watching too many movies.

Human camper (as he and the Muppet Monster stand up): So, what you’re saying is – real dinosaurs are a bunch of weak-willed Skeksis-fodder, just ready to lay down an’ die like the scaly meatbags they are?

Zondra (elbows Robbie): Are you gonna take that?

Robbie: No! But we have enough problems with somebody beating up humans in this park! *pause, to the human camper* And wouldn’t it be “lie down and die”? If you’re going to threaten me, could you at least use proper grammar? *to an expectant Zondra* I’m not going to resort to violence!

Zondra (shrugs): Well, I will. *pulls out a Tazer and fires, brining the human down twitching and groaning* Zap, zap – you’re ready for a nap.

Muppet Monster (growls): I’m gonna rip yer insides out!

Zondra (defiantly): You an’ what army?

Robbie: Zondra!

[The Muppet Monster takes a swipe at Zondra, who ducks while Robbie catches his arm and pushes him away.]

Robbie: Look – let’s be sensible about this! You don’t want to smack around some two to three foot tall woman!

Muppet Monster (shrugs): Yer right.

[An underwater camera shows a realistic CGI Robbie get tossed into the lake in a swarm of bubbles. The shot cuts to a close-up of his face as he struggles to hold his breath. He accidentally hiccups and starts to drown. His eyes close as he starts to drift downward.]

[Fade-out.]

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

A TAZER? I never realized Zondra could be so demented.

Holy cow! You killed Robbie!

*Hyperventilates*

 

[RedPiggy]

LOL, well, Zondra represented a kind of "anti-Muppet" idea. Her hacker group despised the family goodness of Muppet Television. So, this is my interpretation of her: willing to do what's necessary without worrying a lot about being morally superior to others. Note how Robbie keeps ending up with "bad" friends (Spike, Zondra). I think he's unhappy with his holier-than-thou attitude, even though he assumes that is a flaw only his conservative father has. I'm a social liberal at heart, but I consider myself a moderate because I can see the pros of both sides of the fence. It took awhile to get to that point, but when I started writing Pa Gorg (okay, I guess it started when I wrote Pokemon fics and had sympathetic yet strict portrayals of Giovanni) I started to come to grips with lots of things. Like I said earlier, while I'm including lots of the cast, at heart this movie is contrasting Robbie with Richfield.

And Robbie -- well, I thought that would make a good cliffhanger post, LOL.