Spring Forward: A Dinosaurs' Tale

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Sorry for not commenting sooner.

HOLY CR-OW! First the park rangers and now Hopper! Richfield's definitely out for blood in this story!

Nice cameo by Bunsen, Beaker & WALDO! I like Waldo!

 

[RedPiggy]

LOL, yeah, Richfield's not taking this loss of status too well. I wanted to show that, even though Richfield is the Montgomery Burns of Dinosaurs, the evil conservative, I feel that no matter how bad some people are, it still PALES in comparison to evils done in earlier times or in other places. Burns would have no problem having people killed either. It's just that, being a dinosaur, I can make a better argument that even our "evil villains", liberal or conservative, can't hold a candle to TRUE villainy. If it's one thing I can't stand, it's whining. All of politics now is just that -- whining. At least in my humble opinion.

 

[RedPiggy]

[Fade-in. The Sinclair living room. Baby and Ethyl are watching television as Pearl and Charlene walk in, exhausted.]

Ethyl (glances at Charlene): How was jail?

Charlene (flops onto the sofa): Amazingly enough – it lacks a certain charm.

Pearl (stands behind the sofa, uncomfortable): Mama Phillips – thanks again for bailin’ us out.

Ethyl (angrily glares at Pearl): A Sinclair making matters worse? Perish the thought!

Charlene (timidly protesting): Gramma --.

Ethyl (still glaring at Pearl): Charlene? Room. *long pause* For the next fifty years.

Charlene (nervously glancing at Baby, Ethyl, and Pearl, nodding): Yes, ma’am. *leaves towards the stairs*

Baby: Are they in trouble?

Ethyl (glances sharply at Baby): Go play with your cat!

Baby (timidly): Ate him.

Ethyl (groans, to Pearl): At what point did heading out to a bar seem like an appropriate thing for an underaged dinosaur?

Pearl: Now, hold on – ain’t nothin’ wrong with Charlene’s age!

Ethyl (slaps hand on armrest of wheelchair): She was barely legal sixty million years ago and completely not of legal age now! There are too few of us to go running around all willy-nilly, screwing up whatever future generations are possible!

Pearl (curtly): I’m a grown female --.

Ethyl: -- who should know better!

Pearl: I have ta hear enough of this “responsibility” stuff from Earl!

Ethyl (nearly choking on herself): As, ugh, much as it … ulp … pains me to say this – Fat Boy may be the dimmest bulb in the chandelier, but even he wouldn’t do anything so stupid!

Pearl (voice calming): You ain’t liked mah brother since day one. An’ now you’re takin’ his side against me?

Ethyl (sighs, resigning): Earl is the biggest boob on the planet, but he only screws up because he didn’t get the training he needed to be a success. You left Earl to languish in ignorance and isolation to enjoy all that civilization had to offer. You gained the very smarts you needed to make a name for yourself. You can think circles around my son-in-law. You know very well it was wrong and you did it anyway. *sighs* So, how is it you choose to do something that could have had her killed?

Pearl (looks down at the floor, shrugging slightly)

Ethyl: I believe your babysitting services are no longer required.

Pearl (gasps): You can’t do that! There ain’t been no harm to that girl! They didn’t even keep the charges when they found out she didn’t drink nothin’! You said yerself there ain’t a lot o’ us left – don’t break up a family jus’ ‘cause you disagree with some fool thing I did!

Ethyl (snorts, curtly): My son Stan once challenged his father for supremacy and lost. It was only because Louie was a forgiving soul that we took care of him after he was injured in the fight. I preferred sending him to a volcano for a really hot swim. My daughter had some sense and I wanted to protect her no matter what. *pause, jabbing her index finger at Pearl* You don’t have my late husband to back you up, Pearl. It’s precisely because there are too few of us that I must do all I can to ensure their safety – and you’ve made it quite clear you’re incapable of doing the right thing. Now leave this house at once.

Baby (staring at the television): Gramma?

Ethyl (glances down at Baby, calmly): What?

Baby (pointing to the TV): Mr. Richfield!

 

[The Count]

Should we cue up the organ at that last statement? Please, post more.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Richfield? On TV? That can't be good!

On another note, you've certainly got the vocie of Ethyl and Baby down to a T (or, tee (or, te (I don't know how that's supposed to be typed))).

...and I wait.

 

[RedPiggy]

Well, work being what it is ... I can't update stories until the weekends, more or less. My time is pretty much eaten up Monday through Friday.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

...and I wait.

 

[RedPiggy]

[Exterior shot of the Museum, surrounded by cops, with visitors and employees fleeing. The camera cuts to a close-up of a cop with a bullhorn.]

Policeman: Come out with your hands up!

[The camera cuts to Richfield, using one of the T-Rex fossil’s bones to pick his teeth and wiping his chin with his sleeve.]

Richfield: I’m busy! *turns to Earl Sinclair, his tone lower and more deadly* You got one more chance to join me, Sinclair.

Earl (humbly, nervously looking around at the floor): Naturally I’d jump at the chance, but I think you’ve pretty much got this covered, sir.

[The camera cuts to Bunsen and Digit peeking at the scene from around a corner. Waldo is floating just above Digit’s head. Earl and Richfield can be heard ad-libbing a conversation.]

Digit (whispering to Bunsen): Wh-wh-what do we do?

Bunsen (sighs): If only everyone could be as fascinated by scientific progress as I am.

Digit (sighs)

Waldo (whispers): Lemme go take care of this monster, Digit! *morphs into a syringe* I can really stick it to him!

Digit (frowns): I don’t think this is the time for that type of humor.

Bunsen (frowns): At this rate, all of our audience will be eaten. *pause* This will really hurt the ticket sales, not to mention potential litigation.

Digit (turns around, but his head lags in turning): Like class action suits ever bothered you, Dr. Honeydew. There still has to be a way to stop that behemoth.

Waldo (morphs into a stop sign)

Digit (stares at Waldo for a second): I … I don’t think so, Waldo. Nice try, though.

Waldo (returns to normal, disappointed): I guess nice guys finish last.

Bunsen (strokes his nearly non-existent chin pensively)

[The scene cuts to Roy and Fran as scared visitors try to flee.]

Roy (nervously): I guess dis ruins my chances for fame.

Fran: Roy, let’s get these people out of harm’s way first. Then we can get started on restoring our place in life.

[The scene cuts to Robbie, who is approaching Digit, Waldo, and Bunsen, with Zondra in tow.]

Zondra (panting from running): Well, I gotta hand it to you, Rob – you sure know how to make stuffy museums more exciting.

Bunsen (surprised to see them): Oh, my! What are you doing here?

Robbie (kneeling down): Dr. Honeydew, sir? I was wondering if I could get your help. *looks at Digit and Waldo* What are you two?

Digit: Oh! I’m a cyborg and Waldo here is a holographic AI lifeform of my own design.

Waldo: How are ya? *morphs into a cartoon gloved hand*

Robbie (glances at Zondra, who shrugs, and shrugs himself, shaking the cartoon hand)

Waldo (morphs back to normal): What’re we gonna do?

Robbie (watches as Richfield trashes exhibits): We need to stop him, but keep him alive.

Digit: Why?

Robbie (shrugs): My mom wants us to make a movie or something like that. We’re all going to star, at least in her mind. If Richfield dies, it’d be hard to recast him.

Bunsen: I could clone him! *gets more excited* With only a little drop of blood, I could --.

Robbie, Digit, Zondra, and Waldo (dryly): Seen it.

Bunsen (sighs): It is so hard to find appreciation for the sciences.

 

[RedPiggy]

This would be roughly an hour, so I guess it'd be a TV movie.

[Richfield stops destroying exhibits and spies Robbie talking to the Muppet NAST members. A longer variation of the ominous beginning to the theme song plays. Richfield starts toward them.]

Robbie (trembles)

Bunsen (looks down, surprised, glances at Robbie and backs away as though his feet stepped in something): Eww.

Earl (grabs Richfield by the arm): Sir? I demand you leave my son alone!

Richfield (whips around and backhands Earl, sending him flying): You keep your scaly paws off me, you putrid pile of pond pus!

[The music continues as Robbie grabs Bunsen in the next shot.]

Robbie: We have to do something now!

Bunsen (somewhat frightened): I-I-I-I’m thinking, I assure you!

Robbie (pulls him in closer, panicking): Think harder! My father is about to be digested!

[The ominous theme variation ends.]

Bunsen (nods, turns head and calls out): Beakee! Get me the Simpatico Synthesizer!

[Flip transition as Bunsen and Beaker arrive with a small electronic musical keyboard and pull down small legs for it. The scene cuts to a close-up of Richfield, who is shocked.]

Richfield (growls): You filthy foam-covered fools have made a mockery of the food chain! I’ll kill you! *rushes them*

Robbie (high-pitched, to Bunsen): You’re going to sing to him?

Bunsen: Heavens, no! Digit?

Digit (shoves everyone away and slaps his hands down on the keyboard, absorbed in the music that is blasting from the keyboard in a rose-colored shockwave, sounding like an electronica version of Fraggle Rock’s The Honk of Honks)

[Robbie goes to shield his ears but Waldo becomes thick earmuffs for him, cringing at the sound. Richfield is flung across the exhibit hall, crashing into the opposite wall. He slides to the floor, unconscious.]

Robbie (stands as Digit stops): What did you do?

Bunsen (wiggling an index finger in his ear, grinning): Beaker has been a proponent of behavioral modification technology. The Muppet Labs Simpatico Synthesizer, shall we say, soothes the savage beast.

Beaker (nods): Mee mee meemee mee.

[Fran rushes to Earl’s side as he begins to stand up, woozy.]

Fran (helps him up, caressing him, her voice stressed): Earl! Are you okay?

Earl (puts both hands in front of him): How many fingers do I have?

Fran: Eight.

Earl (pauses): That’s less than ten, right?

Fran (nods): Right….

Earl (sighs, putting his hands down): I think I need a moment.

[Robbie stands, curious, over Richfield, joined by Zondra.]

Richfield (wakes up groggily): Wh-wh-what happened?

Robbie (nervous): You, uh, bumped your head, Mr. Richfield.

Richfield (looks at Robbie, his tone cheerful): Why, you’re Earl’s boy! Hahahaha! I remember you! You dated my beautiful daughter once!

Robbie (backing up a couple of steps): Uh, y-y-yes, sir.

Richfield (stands carefully): Awww. Call me BP! I am so relieved to see all of y’all so concerned about my well-being! *sniffles, voice trembling* It just tugs at my heart. *spots Earl* Earl! How are ya?

Earl (thinks a bit): Is this a trick question, sir?

Richfield (walks over to him, grinning): Of course not! I’m just giddy ta see you doin’ well in the world! C’mere, you, you big lug of green flesh! *hugs Earl tightly*

Earl (nearly choking): My … relief … is only … matched by my … fear of your awesomeness, sir.

Richfield (chuckles, letting him go, slapping him on the shoulder): You’re a fine male, Sinclair! I’m humbled at your admiration. *thinks a bit* What job did I have again?

Earl: I think you were --.

Fran (elbows Earl): Mr. Richfield, you were dedicated to organizing human-dinosaur relations. You are an inspiration to us all. Permit me to suggest another way we can ensure our future.

Richfield (nods, awed): I’m all ears!

[The finale is a movie version of the show opening, but with different scenes that act as an epilogue. The initial title card is a picture of Crater Lake, which is now dotted with several dinosaur homes, with DINOSAURS at the bottom of the screen. During the ominous notes, Earl’s feet are shown as he stomps through the forest of Crater National Park. Toward the end of the ominous section, the camera pans up as he stands in the doorway of his house, the music abruptly stopping.]

Earl (cheerfully): Honey? I’m home!

[The more upbeat part of the theme song begins. Earl and Sid are directing construction workers as Richfield is lugging equipment. Fran is making Powerpoint presentations to media moguls in a conference room. Robbie is staring at a computer with Zondra next to him, pointing to the computer monitor and wordlessly talking to him. Charlene is presenting a lesson to children of all species in a special education class. Roy is directing tours in the museum to an enthralled audience. Poachers are sneaking through the forest only to meet up with the Scavengers, who are wearing ranger badges and modified uniforms. Pearl is singing as she’s serving drinks in a bar. The patrons are clapping and grooving to her song. Baby pops up out of a giant white egg shell with purple spots, naked. The camera swings around to an approving Ethyl just offstage of the production. Finally, the entire cast is standing in front of a movie projector that is on, and Earl smirks, nodding as he turns off the projector, which makes the movie cut to black as the final notes play.]

Roll credits.

THE END

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

I hate to see a good story come to an end.

The climax was rather lackluster, but the ending/beginning was good.

I love Waldo's bit, with the syringe and the stop sign and the cartoon hand.