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This IS more story!
I couldn’t be any more nervous if I were a real bride, Piggy thought miserably. She waited just outside the door of the soundstage chapel, trying not to trying not to pace, trying not to panic, trying not to pass out. All I have to do is walk down the aisle and meet him at the front. I can do this. I can do this. I can--
Kermit appeared beside her outside the chapel set doors as though from thin air. Piggy stared at him as though he had two heads. What was he…?
“Hey Piggy,” Kermit said softly, too low for the microphones to pick up. “You look terrific. I thought this scene would be nicer if we go down the aisle together.” He smiled at her. “Ready?”
Unable to speak, Piggy nodded. Somehow or other, she hadn’t prepared herself for what it would be like to see him this way, all dressed up for a wedding that wasn’t going to happen, all gussied up with no plans to go anywhere. He looked suave, he looked debonair, he looked…he looked wonderful. Piggy couldn’t meet his eyes, blushing to beat the band. Oh, how she wanted this to be a real wedding. Oh, how she wanted him to really be the groom to her bride. What would he do when he saw Father Bob? What would she see in his eyes? Piggy was suddenly very afraid of that answer. If a genie appeared out of anywhere now, or a fairy godmother to grant her deepest desire, she would turn the hands of the clock back and never know, never face what might happen at the end of this aisle. She had to tell him, to warn him, to stop this chain of inevitable events that just might separate her forever from the one she loved.
“Kermit,” she began nervously. “I need to tell you something.”
The chapel doors began to open. Kermit smiled at her, his eyes encouraging.
“Tell me later—it’s time to get married.”
“But—“
The music was playing, her cue coming up. Piggy turned toward the front of the chapel slowly and began to walk down the aisle with Kermit at her side.
“He’ll make me happy each time I see him. He’ll be the reason my heart can sing. He’ll stand beside me, and I’ll have everything.” Her voice broke a little on the last note, but Piggy kept her composure.
“She’ll make me happy each time I hold her, and I will follow where my heart may lead. And she’ll be all I ever need.” He was looking at her now, looking at her as though he meant every word, looking at her as though he loved her. Well what do you expect? a little voice inside her head prompted nastily. He is, after all, an actor.
“Days go passing into years,” sang the little children.
“Years go passing day by day,” sang some of their oldest cast members.
What might it be like to grow old with Kermit? Years and years of seeing his face across the breakfast table, building a home together, a family, children bouncing on his knee. What would she do if she had to grow old alone?
“She’ll make him happy, now and forever. Until forever, their love will grow. She only knows he’ll make her happy. That’s all she needs to know.”
There was a lot more that Piggy wanted to know, a lot more she never wanted to know. It was like standing outside time, watching yourself do something and not being able to affect the outcome. The interminable aisle came to an end, and Father Bob stepped behind the altar. Gonzo had been correct—the ample he wore had been ample indeed, and the simple stole had completed the outfit. Father Bob has passed emphatically on wearing the hat. “I’m not a bishop,” he’d said firmly, “and I’m not the Pope.” He had, at least, let Piggy powder his head.
Father Bob looked at Piggy for just a moment, smiling just enough to seem appropriate. Beside her, Piggy felt Kermit stiffen.
“Piggy—I thought Gonzo was playing the minister?” he said softly, looking confused.
It was too late. Piggy couldn’t stop it. She felt light-headed. She felt dizzy. She felt close to hysteria. She turned and gave Kermit a little laugh that she hoped was coy, that she hoped would show him that this was just in fun, just in jest, not something that she really, really, really wanted. Kermit gulped and turned back to face the minister.
Why didn’t he yell “cut?” Piggy wondered. Why didn’t he stop and make a scrunchy face and say, “Hah, hah, very funny Piggy—now can we do this again, the right way?” Why didn’t he do something? “Do you Piggy take this frog to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you?”
Wow, Piggy thought absently. Bob has a nice singing voice. She couldn’t seem to focus on anything but the moment, but she heard herself sing, very composedly, “I do.” Kermit was gazing at her with such warmth that Piggy had to look just past him. If he held her in that warm gaze she might just melt away.
“Do you froggy take this pig to be your lawful wedded wife until you die?”
Kermit hesitated. “Well, I….” he said uncomfortably. “Well, um….”
“Do you?”
“I—“
Kermit looked at her and she couldn’t help but meet his searching look. For just a moment, Piggy thought Kermit actually swayed toward her, but when she blinked, he was just standing there, gazing at her fondly. He gave a little shrug and turned to face the minister as though his mind was made up.
“I do,” he sang, his voice as clear as a bell.
Piggy thought she might faint. The chapel set around them erupted into shouts and cheers and dozens of doves. One of her nephews was jumping up and down in the seat. Link was crying. Rowlf was crying. Gonzo and Camilla were dancing in the aisles.
“What better way could anything end, hand and hand with a friend,” Kermit sang, smiling at her. Without warning, Kermit leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. Piggy’s mouth fell open in surprise. He had kissed her! Kermit had actually kissed her. She turned to him in surprise, no longer aware that the cameras were rolling, and Kermit pulled her into his arms and kissed her, his mouth moving insistently with hers.
This is it, Piggy thought. I’m either dreaming or I’m dead. Kermit is actually—
He sat her back on her unsteady legs and turned her toward the auditorium, facing all of their friends. Piggy was grateful for his arm around her waist because she didn’t think she could stand up by herself. Beside her, Kermit gathered himself to speak.
Dear friends, Piggy thought he might say, I want to thank you for coming to my wedding. It means so much to—
“Cut!” Kermit hollered. He took his arm from her waist, turned to Piggy and shook his head ruefully. “Piggy,” he said appreciatively, his voice full of admiration. “You’ve pulled a lot of pranks on me over the years, but this one tops them all.” He made a fist and tapped her lightly on her soft shoulder. “Good one, Piggy,” he said, laughing a little. “You really got me this time.” And then he left her standing there.
I couldn’t be any more nervous if I were a real bride, Piggy thought miserably. She waited just outside the door of the soundstage chapel, trying not to trying not to pace, trying not to panic, trying not to pass out. All I have to do is walk down the aisle and meet him at the front. I can do this. I can do this. I can--
Kermit appeared beside her outside the chapel set doors as though from thin air. Piggy stared at him as though he had two heads. What was he…?
“Hey Piggy,” Kermit said softly, too low for the microphones to pick up. “You look terrific. I thought this scene would be nicer if we go down the aisle together.” He smiled at her. “Ready?”
Unable to speak, Piggy nodded. Somehow or other, she hadn’t prepared herself for what it would be like to see him this way, all dressed up for a wedding that wasn’t going to happen, all gussied up with no plans to go anywhere. He looked suave, he looked debonair, he looked…he looked wonderful. Piggy couldn’t meet his eyes, blushing to beat the band. Oh, how she wanted this to be a real wedding. Oh, how she wanted him to really be the groom to her bride. What would he do when he saw Father Bob? What would she see in his eyes? Piggy was suddenly very afraid of that answer. If a genie appeared out of anywhere now, or a fairy godmother to grant her deepest desire, she would turn the hands of the clock back and never know, never face what might happen at the end of this aisle. She had to tell him, to warn him, to stop this chain of inevitable events that just might separate her forever from the one she loved.
“Kermit,” she began nervously. “I need to tell you something.”
The chapel doors began to open. Kermit smiled at her, his eyes encouraging.
“Tell me later—it’s time to get married.”
“But—“
The music was playing, her cue coming up. Piggy turned toward the front of the chapel slowly and began to walk down the aisle with Kermit at her side.
“He’ll make me happy each time I see him. He’ll be the reason my heart can sing. He’ll stand beside me, and I’ll have everything.” Her voice broke a little on the last note, but Piggy kept her composure.
“She’ll make me happy each time I hold her, and I will follow where my heart may lead. And she’ll be all I ever need.” He was looking at her now, looking at her as though he meant every word, looking at her as though he loved her. Well what do you expect? a little voice inside her head prompted nastily. He is, after all, an actor.
“Days go passing into years,” sang the little children.
“Years go passing day by day,” sang some of their oldest cast members.
What might it be like to grow old with Kermit? Years and years of seeing his face across the breakfast table, building a home together, a family, children bouncing on his knee. What would she do if she had to grow old alone?
“She’ll make him happy, now and forever. Until forever, their love will grow. She only knows he’ll make her happy. That’s all she needs to know.”
There was a lot more that Piggy wanted to know, a lot more she never wanted to know. It was like standing outside time, watching yourself do something and not being able to affect the outcome. The interminable aisle came to an end, and Father Bob stepped behind the altar. Gonzo had been correct—the ample he wore had been ample indeed, and the simple stole had completed the outfit. Father Bob has passed emphatically on wearing the hat. “I’m not a bishop,” he’d said firmly, “and I’m not the Pope.” He had, at least, let Piggy powder his head.
Father Bob looked at Piggy for just a moment, smiling just enough to seem appropriate. Beside her, Piggy felt Kermit stiffen.
“Piggy—I thought Gonzo was playing the minister?” he said softly, looking confused.
It was too late. Piggy couldn’t stop it. She felt light-headed. She felt dizzy. She felt close to hysteria. She turned and gave Kermit a little laugh that she hoped was coy, that she hoped would show him that this was just in fun, just in jest, not something that she really, really, really wanted. Kermit gulped and turned back to face the minister.
Why didn’t he yell “cut?” Piggy wondered. Why didn’t he stop and make a scrunchy face and say, “Hah, hah, very funny Piggy—now can we do this again, the right way?” Why didn’t he do something? “Do you Piggy take this frog to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you?”
Wow, Piggy thought absently. Bob has a nice singing voice. She couldn’t seem to focus on anything but the moment, but she heard herself sing, very composedly, “I do.” Kermit was gazing at her with such warmth that Piggy had to look just past him. If he held her in that warm gaze she might just melt away.
“Do you froggy take this pig to be your lawful wedded wife until you die?”
Kermit hesitated. “Well, I….” he said uncomfortably. “Well, um….”
“Do you?”
“I—“
Kermit looked at her and she couldn’t help but meet his searching look. For just a moment, Piggy thought Kermit actually swayed toward her, but when she blinked, he was just standing there, gazing at her fondly. He gave a little shrug and turned to face the minister as though his mind was made up.
“I do,” he sang, his voice as clear as a bell.
Piggy thought she might faint. The chapel set around them erupted into shouts and cheers and dozens of doves. One of her nephews was jumping up and down in the seat. Link was crying. Rowlf was crying. Gonzo and Camilla were dancing in the aisles.
“What better way could anything end, hand and hand with a friend,” Kermit sang, smiling at her. Without warning, Kermit leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. Piggy’s mouth fell open in surprise. He had kissed her! Kermit had actually kissed her. She turned to him in surprise, no longer aware that the cameras were rolling, and Kermit pulled her into his arms and kissed her, his mouth moving insistently with hers.
This is it, Piggy thought. I’m either dreaming or I’m dead. Kermit is actually—
He sat her back on her unsteady legs and turned her toward the auditorium, facing all of their friends. Piggy was grateful for his arm around her waist because she didn’t think she could stand up by herself. Beside her, Kermit gathered himself to speak.
Dear friends, Piggy thought he might say, I want to thank you for coming to my wedding. It means so much to—
“Cut!” Kermit hollered. He took his arm from her waist, turned to Piggy and shook his head ruefully. “Piggy,” he said appreciatively, his voice full of admiration. “You’ve pulled a lot of pranks on me over the years, but this one tops them all.” He made a fist and tapped her lightly on her soft shoulder. “Good one, Piggy,” he said, laughing a little. “You really got me this time.” And then he left her standing there.
