Scooter's Story

[Super Scooter]

New Scene...

SCENE 5

EXT. MUPPET THEATER - NIGHT

Establishing shot. Numerous Muppets entering the building.

INT. MUPPET THEATER - STAGE

SCOOTER is waiting in the wings, looking out at the action on stage

ANNOUNCER: (v.o.) And now it's time for veterinarians hospital, the continuing stoooooooooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs...

Onstage, we see the Vet's Hospital set, and ROWLF, PIGGY, and JANICE in their scrubs. BEAKER lies on the table.

ROWLF: Nurse Piggy, who's the next patient?

PIGGY: He's right in front of you, Dr. Bob.

ROWLF: Ah-ha! I see. Now, that boy is sick!

JANICE: How can you tell Dr. Bob?

ROWLF: Why else would he be in a hospital?

PIGGY: Oh, Dr. Bob! Is it serious?

ROWLF: I don't know. Nurse Janice, is it serious?

JANICE: Like, I don't know. Nurse Piggy, is it serious, fer sure?

PIGGY: I don't know. Dr. Bob, is it serious?

ROWLF: Are we going to do this all day?

PIGGY: Well, we have to fill the show with something.

ROWLF: Well, how come no one knows the status of the patient?

BEAKER: Meep meep mee mee meep!

JANICE: Like, does that answer your question?

ROWLF: Meep meep mee mee meep? Meep meep meep mee mee mee mee.

PIGGY: Dr. Bob! You understand him?

ROWLF: Of course I understand him! When I was in the army, you had to know morse code. Meep meep meep meep.

Backstage, SCOOTER walks away from looking out on the stage.

SCOOTER: Gosh, even Beaker gets to be a real star.

KERMIT enters.

KERMIT: Hey, Scooter, have you checked on Fozzie, yet? He's on for the next number.

SCOOTER: Aw, gee, I'm sorry, Kermit. I completely forgot.

KERMIT: Well, that's all right. The Electric Mayhem have been dying to play all night, anyway. Fozzie'll be on the show next week.

FOZZIE: (offstage) WHAT????

FOZZIE enters nearly as fast as GONZO would.

FOZZIE: (out of breath) Kermit... please don't... take me off... the show tonight. *phew!* My... My fans need me! They want me out there! You gotta give 'em the ol' comedy act. Besides... if you don't put me on, they might forget my act all together!

KERMIT: Funny, I thought that might be a boost for your career. HA ha!

FOZZIE: Kermit, that was very insensitive.

KERMIT: *ahem!* Sorry, Fozzie.

FLOYD, DR. TEETH, ANIMAL, and ZOOT enter.

FLOYD: Hey, what's this I hear about you putting us on tonight?

KERMIT: Sorry, gang. Fozzie's going to go on after all.

FLOYD: Listen, Frog, either you put us or we gonna am-scray.

KERMIT: Am-scray?

FLOYD: Yeah, am-scray.

KERMIT: Well, I'd sure hate for you guys to have to am-scray.

FLOYD: Sorry, Frog, we no play, there's no way. We am-scray.

KERMIT: You really wanted to say that tonight, didn't you?

FLOYD: Sure did.

KERMIT: Well, okay, you guys can go on.

FOZZIE: But, Kermit, I--!

KERMIT: Fozzie, don't worry about it! Just go onstage. I'll introduce you.

FOZZIE: Oh, thank you, Kermit! Thank you!

FOZZIE rushes onstage, behind the curtain.

KERMIT: Yeesh, I hope this works.

KERMIT goes back onstage to introduce the next act.

 

[Super Scooter]

INT. MUPPET THEATER - STAGE

KERMIT stands in front of the curtain.

KERMIT: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight for out final act, it gives me great pleasure, and I slight case of chills down my spine, to introduce to you... Fozzie Bear and The Electric Mayhem! YAAAAAAY!

KERMIT rushes off. The curtain goes up on the ELECTRIC MAYHEM, playing loud rock and roll. FOZZIE enters in front of them.

FOZZIE: Hiya, hiya, hiya! Fozzie Bear here to tell you a bunch of really great jokes you've never heard!

STATLER: (from the balcony) Yeah, and if we're lucky...

WALDORF: The music's loud enough we'll never have to hear them!

BOTH: Do ho ho ho ho!

FOZZIE: Oh, don't be silly! These guys are just... (to the band) Hey, would you fellas mind playing a little quieter???

FLOYD: What's that, man? Can't hear you over the music.

FOZZIE: Would you mind playing a little quieter?!?!?!

FLOYD: Naw, Miss Piggy ain't no dieter! She's still the princess of pork, and the Lord of lard!

FOZZIE: Not dieter, quieter!!!

DR. TEETH: Hey, knock it off, Bear! You're breakin' the mood!

FOZZIE: I don't want any food, I just want to do my bit!!!

DR. TEETH: Hey, watch the language! This is a family program!

FOZZIE: I said bit!!! ARGH!

FOZZIE walks off, frustrated.

WALDORF: Hurray, that was great!

STATLER: Now that you mention it, you do look like you've put on weight!

WALDORF: Oh, no! Not this dumb gag!

 

[sarah_yzma]

Very nice. These two scenes seem to move a little slower, but my imagination isn't running full swing today, so that's probably it!

The character portrayals are nice today...I don't have a complaint!

 

[Super Scooter]

I'm trying to figure out an appropriate amount of time before sending Scooter off on his quest.

 

[Super Scooter]

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

FOZZIE walks back from onstage. SCOOTER approaches him.

SCOOTER: Hey, Fozzie?

FOZZIE: (depressed) Yes, Scooter?

SCOOTER: Boy, that must have been fun, huh? I wish I could do that!

FOZZIE: Do what?

SCOOTER: You were lead for the Electic Mayhem!

FOZZIE: I was? I mean, of course! It was fantastic! Or... sorta.

SCOOTER: That was one of the funniest bits I've ever seen you do! Ha ha ha ha!

FOZZIE: You really think so?

SCOOTER: Well, no. But it was still pretty good! Boy, I'd love to do that sometime.

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM members enter from onstage.

DR. TEETH: Boy, man, that was a superb performance of astronomical proportions!

FLOYD: Freak City, man!

JANICE: Like, fer sure, rully!

FLOYD: I hope we get some audiences like that when we head out on the road, next week.

DR. TEETH: Mmm-hmm.

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM exit.

FOZZIE: Well, gee, Scooter, did you hear that?

SCOOTER: Hear what?

FOZZIE: That's your big chance, Scooter!

SCOOTER: What big chance?

FOZZIE: The Electric Mayhem are going to Freak City to perform! You should ask to go with them.

SCOOTER: I should?

FOZZIE: Yes! Think of it! Your name in big, bright lights!

SCOOTER: Wow!

FOZZIE leaves SCOOTER alone to day dream.

SCOOTER: Scooter... In big, bright lights... I'm going to Freak City!!!

 

[theprawncracker]

Oh my gosh!!! Super Scoot! This is AWESOME!! SO funny! I loved the Pepe/Scooter banter earlier! And Fozzie is PERFECT!! I love it all so much!! Keep it up!

 

[Super Scooter]

Thank you, prawncracker!


SCENE 6

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

CLOSE ON a banner that says "Good-Bye Scooter!" We pull out to reveal a whole group of Muppets (the ELECTRIC MAYHEM and KERMIT are not there yet) gathered around SCOOTER.

FOZZIE: We're gonna miss you, Scooter.

GONZO: See ya, pal.

LINK: Whose scooter is leaving? Can I ride it before it goes away?

KERMIT enters.

KERMIT: "Good-bye Scooter?" Say, what's goin' on here?

FOZZIE: Oh, Kermit! You're just in time! We're having a going away part for Scooter!

KERMIT: Going away party? Scooter, since when are you going away? Why am I just hearing about this?

SCOOTER: Oh, I only just decided about five minutes ago.

KERMIT: Right. Where are you going?

SCOOTER: I dunno yet, I guess. I think I'm going with the Electric Mayhem and play with their band!

KERMIT: Er, do they know about this yet?

SCOOTER: I don't know. I haven't asked them.

KERMIT: Er, right. Well, good luck with that.

JOHNNY and SAL approach SCOOTER.

SAL: Okay! All right! Everybody, oughta da way! Johnny Fiama is comin' through!

JOHNNY: All right, Scooty, me and Sal here don't like to get all emotional or nothin'...

SAL: 'cause that kinda thing is for sissys!

JOHNNY: What he said. But, we did a little thing for you anyway, because...

SAL: (breaking down in tears) We're gonna miss you!!!

SCOOTER: Oh, well, gee, thanks!

JOHNNY: Compose yourself, Sal!

SAL: Right, Johnny. *sniff sniff*

JOHNNY: As a little token to show our appreciation for all you've done around here...

SAL: *sniff sniff* Do you smell that?

JOHNNY: ... we wanted to make you up a batch o' Ma's famous cannollis.

SAL: Is something burning? I think I smell something burning.

JOHNNY: You know, you're a good kid. Frankie likes kids like you, I like kids like you, ya dig?

SAL: Er, Johnny? Johnny?

JOHNNY: In a minute, Sal!

SAL: Okay, Johnny. But, uh-

JOHNNY: In a minute, Sal! Can't you see I'm having a conversation here?

SAL: Oh, right. Never interrupt Johnny Fiama while he's having a conversation!

JOHNNY: Thank you, Sal. Now, anyway, Scoots, I just wanted to tell you, you're all right in my book.

SAL: Uh-oh!

SAL runs off.

JOHNNY: (to SCOOTER) And, listen, if you ever need anything- anything at all- you let me know.

SAL returns with a fire extinguisher in his hands.

SAL: Don't worry, Johnny! I'll put it out! You continue your conversation!

SAL re-exits.

JOHNNY: (to SCOOTER; ignoring SAL) As I was saying, you need anything, you let me know. You do for me, I do for you, and vice versa.

SCOOTER: Well, golly, thanks!

JOHNNY: No problem, kid. No problem. And, uh, don't tell anyone about none o' this, okay? I got a reputation to protect.

SCOOTER: Oh, sure thing!

SAL returns with a tray of burnt cannollis.

SAL: Well, there you go, Johnny! Nice and hot from the oven!

JOHNNY: Sal! What happened here???

SAL: Well, I tried tellin' ya, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Ma's cannollis! Ma's cannollis! Ruined! How could such wonderful food be reduced to such ash??? (breaking down in tears) Why, why, why, why, why???

SAL: Remember, Johnny, that kinda thing is for sissys.

JOHNNY: Ma's cannollis!!!

SAL: By the way, Johnny, since when do you bake cannollis after the stuffing's already in 'em?

JOHNNY: (still crying) Back to the kitchen, Sal! We'll revive the poor little things!

SAL: Whatever you say, Johnny.

JOHNNY: (shaking his head) Ma's cannollis! Ma's cannollis...

The two exit.

 

[sarah_yzma]

Another nice one, SS....Link's line had me in stitches!

 

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!! Johnny and Sal were AWESOME!! Possibly the best J&S scene I've seen here in a fan-fic! AWESOME Scoot! Can't wait for more!

 

[sarah_yzma]

I tell ya, we gotta get him hired by Disney to write!