Scooter's Story

[The Count]

Woo-hoo! That was probably the best part so far!

Dr. Demento!
Weird Al winning the award! Yes, there is justice in this world.
27 Forever baby!

Post more... Soon... Please!

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Either I missed something or I didn't read well enough, but how did the Electirc Mayhem get from Chicago to L.A.?

Either way, I love the story.

 

[Super Scooter]

Either I missed something or I didn't read well enough, but how did the Electirc Mayhem get from Chicago to L.A.?

Another point you missed is that they were once in the desert. How did they get from the Muppet theater to Nevada to Chicago to L.A.? ... But, I don't ask questions. I just write the script.

 

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 17

EXT. STREET

SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIV MAYHEM are walking through the streets of L.A.

FLOYD: Come on, man! We only got a day to get there.

SCOOTER: Where are we going now?

FLOYD: We're goin' to the biggest concert we'll ever get to play at!

SCOOTER: Wow! And we're the star band?

DR. TEETH: Star band? Who said anything about being the star band?

JANICE: Like, we'll be lucky if they let us clean the toilets!

FLOYD: Hey, man, that's not cool! You gotta have faith! Stick it out. We could play there if we put our minds to it.

SCOOTER: Wow, really?

FLOYD: Naw, but it sounded good, didn't it?

SCOOTER: So, where's the concert?

DR. TEETH: New York City!

SCOOTER: New York City???

PASSING COWBOYS: New York City???

SCOOTER: We're in L.A.! We've gotta get to New York City???

COWBOYS: New York City???

FLOYD: (to COWBOYS) We heard the joke the first time!

DR. TEETH: Yeah, it wasn't funny then, and it ain't funny now. Beat it!

The COWBOYS leave, disapointed.

SCOOTER: How on earth are we ever going to get to New York City?

FLOYD: Like I said, we best get anklin'.

SCOOTER: Wait a minute! I have an idea!

SCOOTER walks out of frame for a moment.

DR. TEETH: Should we leave him?

FLOYD: We better. When ever someone says "I have an idea" in a movie, it ain't a good thing. Oh, no, wait. No time. He's back.

SCOOTER returns with a tray of popcorn.

SCOOTER: Who needs to ankle? We can raise the money and get bus tickets to New York. We could be there by tomorrow night in time for the concert!

FLOYD: (looking SCOOTER up and down) Man, how many times you gonna pull this schtick?

SCOOTER: It'll work! Trust me!

BEAN starts eating up all the popcorn.

SCOOTER: Hey, get out of there, Bean!

BEAN: Hey, I'm creating scarcity. Drives the prices up.

SCOOTER: Come on, it could work.

DR. TEETH: It could also fail miserably. Let's look at both sides o' the coin.

FLOYD: If only we still had our bus...

ALL: Yeah.

There is a few moments of silence, all are looking down, thinking.

SCOOTER: ... Er, what are we doing?

FLOYD: Reminiscing.

SCOOTER: Oh. Reminiscing?

FLOYD: Yeah, reminiscing.

SCOOTER: Oh... This one time, I put a wasps nest on my head and did the hokey-pokey.

FLOYD: ... What the heck was that?

SCOOTER: I was reminiscing.

FLOYD: We was reminicing about the bus!

SCOOTER: ... Oh.

BEAN: ... Did you really do that?

SCOOTER: Do what?

BEAN: Put a wasps nest on your head and do the hokey-pokey?

SCOOTER: Oh, yeah, sure.

BEAN: Really? Sounds dangerous.

SCOOTER: Aw, you're just a wimp.

BEAN: I am not a wimp!

SCOOTER: Sure, you're a wimp!

BEAN: ... Well, okay. That just means you have to learn to love me.

FLOYD: (aggrivated) Could we get a moment of silence for one of our fallen brothers, please?

SCOOTER: Oh, sure. Who fell?

ELECTRIC MAYHEM MEMBERS: The bus!!!

SCOOTER: Oh, right. Sorry.

BEAN: Sorry.

The two put their heads back down in silence.

BEAN: ... Ooh, hey, what's this?

BEAN bends down to pick something up.

BEAN: Hey! I found a money clip! There must be five-hundred bucks here!

DR. TEETH: All right!

FLOYD: New York City, here we come!!!

 

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 18

INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN

SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM enter the lobby.

SCOOTER: Wow! This is incredible!

FLOYD: Freak City!

SCOOTER: So, this is Freak City.

They all look at SCOOTER, confused, but shrug it off.

DR. TEETH: Well, we better see if we can get tickets.

SCOOTER: Tickets? You mean, we're not even going backstage?

FLOYD: Backstage? Ah, heh heh! This is the show of the century! We wouldn't miss this for nothin'.

SCOOTER: So we're just going to watch it?

FLOYD: Yeah, what'd you think we were playin' in it?

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM and BEAN walk off.

SCOOTER: Gee, I was just hopin' we'd at least get to go backstage.

SCOOTER overhears to people talking.

MAN#1: What are we going to do? What are we going to do?

MAN#2: What happened? What happened?

MAN#1: The Crows of Despair aren't here. They were supposed to be the band for our lead singer.

MAN#2: What?? The band's not here? Where are they??

MAN#1: The Crows of Despair are at a wedding.

MAN#2: No, no, no! What on earth will we ever do?

SCOOTER: *ahem!*

They turn to look at SCOOTER.

SCOOTER: Hi, there! I'm Scooter. I think I might be able to help you---

MAN#1: Get away from me, kid. You bother me.

SCOOTER: Look, I'm a representative of the hit band, The Electric Mayhem!

MAN#2: The Electric Mayhem? Who are they?

SCOOTER: Only the greatest band the Muppets ever produced! And they're here to play back-up for you guys!

MAN#2: Well, we do need a band...

INT. STAGE

SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM are all set up on stage.

FLOYD: Wow, man! How'd you get this gig?

SCOOTER: Turns out I'm a better road manager than I thought.

BEAN: Hey, who's playing this show, anyway?

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big round of applause for... Mr. Alice Cooper!!!!

ALICE COOPER enters with a SNAKE over his shoulders.

SCOOTER: Alice Cooper???

ALICE COOPER approaches the mic.

ALICE COOPER: Thanks, everyone! (to SNAKE) You can go, Sally.

SALLY THE SNAKE: Thank you, darling.

The SNAKE slithers off.

ALICE COOPER: Ladies and gentlemen in the audience, in honor of having the Muppets here with us tonight, I would like to play one of my favorite songs. I'm sure you know it, and if not, I'm sure you'll like it as much as I do.

ALICE COOPER pulls a banjo out from behind him, and starts to play...

ALICE COOPER:

(sung)

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions,
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see...

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

(spoken) Come on, Scooter, join in.

ALICE COOPER AND SCOOTER:

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it,
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing?
And what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it,
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me.

All of us under it's spell,
We know that it's probably magic!

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called
The young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
It's something that I'm supposed to be.

Someday we'll find it,
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

The crowd goes wild.

ALICE COOPER: Thanks for singing that with me, Scooter.

SCOOTER: Wow! Hey, no problem! That was great! But... boy, I really do miis the Muppet Theater now.

FLOYD: You miss the Muppet Theater?

SCOOTER: I really do. I- I thought I'd like it out here. And, I mean, I did get to go after my dream. I just miss everyone at the theater.

DR. TEETH: Well, you're in luck! That's where we're heading next.

SCOOTER: Really? Ya mean it?

FLOYD: We goin' home, kid.

SCOOTER smiles.

 

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 19

INT. MUPPET THEATER - BACKSTAGE

There is a huge celebration as SCOOTER, BEAN, and the ELECTRIC MAYHEM return.

ALL: Welcome back!

ROWLF: We missed you 'round here!

GONZO: Good to see ya!

CLIFFORD: How's it hangin'?

RIZZO: Bring me back anything?

SCOOTER: Hello, everyone!

FOZZIE: Scooter!

FOZZIE hugs SCOOTER... a bit too tight.

FOZZIE: Oh, we missed you!

SCOOTER: Fozzie! ... I can't breath!

FOZZIE: Oh, sorry, Scooter.

FOZZIE lets him go.

KERMIT approaches.

KERMIT: Scooter! Where have you been? This place has been a wreck! The guest stars don't show up, the cast has no idea what's going on, and I haven't had my coffee yet!!!

Everyone is silent.

KERMIT: ... And it's good to see you back!

SCOOTER: Aw, thanks, boss.

KERMIT: Scooter... I... I know you wanna be a big music star and everything, but...

SCOOTER: Yeah, Kermit?

KERMIT: Would you mind doing us just one favor?

SCOOTER: Anything, chief!

KERMIT: Would you go up to the guest star's dressing room and tell him he's on next.

KERMIT exits.

SCOOTER: (content) Sure thing, boss.

INT. DRESSING ROOM

SCOOTER knocks on the door and enters. He looks around. No one is there.

SCOOTER: Hello? Hello, is anyone here? Did I get the wrong dressing room again.

KERMIT enters.

KERMIT: No, Scooter. This is the right dressing room.

SCOOTER: Boss, the dressing room's empty. There's no one here.

KERMIT: Of course there is, Scooter. You're here, aren't you?

SCOOTER: Me?

KERMIT: Scooter, it's been a rough couple of years.

SCOOTER: I've only been gone a week.

KERMIT: Er, yeah, well, you know what I mean. Anyway, it's just good to have you back, Scooter. I hear you've been to a lot of places since you were last here. People are looking at you like a star. Would you be our guest star tonight, Scooter?

SCOOTER: ... Me? The star?

SCENE 20

INT. MUPPET THEATER - STAGE

SCOOTER stands onstage along with the ELECTRIC MAYHEM playing an updated version of the song, Six String Orchestra.

SCOOTER:

(sung)

The very day I purchased it,
I christened my guitar
As my monophonic symphony,
Six-stringed orchestra.
In my room I practice late,
They leave me alone.
My mother said: "You're nothing yet
To make the folks write home."

And so I dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in.
And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin.
I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time.
And way back in the distance,
A horn would sound so fine.

And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should.
And it would sound like music,
And the music would sound good.
But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula.
Me and my monophonic symphony,
Six-string orchestra!

I'm taking guitar lessons,
Though my teacher just took leave.
It was something about a break down,
Or needing a reprieve.
I know I'll find my future,
So I will persevere
And hold onto my dreams of making
Music to their ear.

And so I dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in.
And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin.
I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time.
And way back in the distance,
Some horns would sound so fine.

And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should.
And it would sound like music,
And the music would sound good.
But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula.
Me and my monophonic symphony,
Six-string orchestra!

The crowd applaudes. KERMIT enters, as do a few other Muppets including SAM EAGLE.

KERMIT: That was great, Scooter!

SCOOTER: Thanks, boss.

SAM: I found that whole production to be a cheap and sad display. Very uncultured, and lacking in any form of true musical talent.

KERMIT: Aw, Sam, you're just an old stick in the mud.

SAM: I am not! Why, obviously you don't recall the great, wonderful production of A Salute to All Nation, But Mostly America.

BEAN pops up.

BEAN: That's it! That's the one I was waiting for! We did it!

SCOOTER: Did what, Bean?

BEAN: That was the reference I was waiting for! This movie now proudly contains references to The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, The Muppets Take Manhattan, A Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Treasure Island, Muppets From Space, It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, The Muppets Wizard of Oz, Kermit's Swamp Years, The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, Muppets Tonight, The Muppets at Walt Disney World, and MuppetVision 3-D! (to audience) Can you find them all? Ha ha!

SCOOTER: What about the Jim Henson Hour?

BEAN: Aw, nuts! I wanted to include one from that, too.

KERMIT: Well, I don't know about you, but I could sure use a sweet vacation.

BEAN: There it is! The Jim Henson Hour! Yaaaaay!

KERMIT AND SCOOTER: Well, that's great!

KERMIT: Good night, folks, and we'll see you all next time on the Muppet Show!

SCOOTER: Bye!

They all celebrate.

EXT. DESERT - NIGHT

The BARENAKED LADIES stand outside, staring at their overturned van shaking their heads.

We pan across to reveal BOBO holding a picnic basket.

BOBO: Hey, when we get going, could we stop at a McDonald's? You guys are all out of food.

The BARENAKED LADIES turn to look at BOBO, angrily.

BOBO: What are you lookin' at me for?

THE END!​

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Awwww, Kermit let Scooter be the guest star.

Nice story.

 

[Super Scooter]

thanks!

 

[Super Scooter]

By the wa-ay, can anyone find all the references Bean's talking about?

Find all of them, and you win a fab... ulous prize!!!

... maybe.

 

[Barry Lee]

Wooohooo! Wonderful job! I seriously wanna see this movie now. Again, great job.