Say Cheese!

[theprawncracker]

(I thought I answered her with "INDEED!" ?)

 

[TogetherAgain]

(Nope, it's my line. I know it's been a while... but that was definitely an all-Chicago-suburb-female-cookie-cutter-conversation.)

 

[theprawncracker]

(Oh okay, I just sat there quietly and watched/read/psuedo-listened?)

 

[Leyla]

I haven't done one of these in too long. Of course, I'm constantly exhausted and my life will only get busier with my new job. Ah well! Quoting!

Having tossed her script onto the chair, Miss Piggy started the skit from the top, imitating the blocking as well as she could. This eventually put her dangerously close to the door, which, of course, was suddenly slammed open.

I like two things about this. Piggy is really, seriously working on getting her parts right, and I like that professional side of her, frog-induced as it is in this case. I also like the "of course" because it really feels like Piggy's having one of those kinds of days when it feels like life and everyone in it is out to get you... and... well.. she kind of is, isn't she.

“Miss Pigg-“

“OW!”

“Oh! I’m sor-“

“HI-YA!”

<giggles> Ah, you can't keep that girl down. Well, you can knock her down, but she gets up again, if I might be so bold as to dust off an old chestnut.

The intruder fell into the railing behind him.

“SAVE THE SLAPSTICK FOR THE STAGE!”

<laughs!> Now there's a long held dream that will probably NEVER come true.

Scooter pulled himself out of the crumpled ball he had become. “Gee, I’m sorry, Miss Piggy, I didn’t know you were so close to the door,” he said. “Would you like me to get you an ice pack?”

Love the crumpled ball. I'd... I'd LIKE to believe Scooter... I'm not sure why I even doubt him, there was no way he could know, but... <giggles> Maybe I'm seeing too much JP in him lately. <winks at Prawnie>

“No, Scooter. I would like you to tell me why you’re here so I can punch your face in and move on!”

He gulped. “Kermit-wants-you-on-stage-now-to-run-the-diner-skit-and-maybe-change-the-blocking-okay-see-ya-later-bye!” He shot off.

Clearly his survival instinct is stil working perfectly well. I'd like to say that the muppets in general must have incredibly well-honed survival instincts... but then... they hang around with each other, you see, and my theory falls apart.

Anyway, that's one angry pig... and no wonder. POor thing, she's having a rough time of it. (Yes, my ushy gushy instincts are so blindingly powerful I can pity her while she's threatening to do serious physical harm to someone apologizing to her.)

And oh, by the way... the frog wants her on stage. Oh boy...

“SCOOTER!” She growled as she slunk back into the dressing room and slid the door shut. She took a deep breath, counted to three, and sighed it out.

So they were changing the blocking anyway.

Fine.

She should have never gotten up this morning. She's definately got at least some anger management techniques under her (black) belt. Scooter whacked her hard enough to leave a bruise (No one should ever read my reviews first, by the way) and yet he's still breathing comfortably.

She daintily plucked her script off the chair and scurried off for the stage, keeping a warring eye out for the go-fer who knew better than to be seen.

Short little paragraph, and yet, so much to love! The word daintily, for instance, after Piggy steam rolls Scooter. The word "scurried," showing PIggy's not messing with her frog's patience today! And, of course, the word "warring" and Scooter's answering good sense in staying out of sight, which, of course, is why he isn't on sick leave very often.

Kermit was waiting on the stage, along with Gonzo, Rizzo, Pepe, Sweetums, Clifford, and Bean Bunny. The frog glanced up and was instantly taken aback. “What happened to your head?” he asked.

“What?” she asked innocently.

“Well, you’ve got a huge bruise!”

<sighs> Ah, poor Piggy. Not for the bruise really... she's a tough gal; she can take it, but it's really just icing on the Chef-baked cake she's been smacked in the face with today. (For the record, I have spent much time being bitterly disappointed in her decision to go after her purse in the face of Rowlf's accident. So... she's been waiting a fair while to get my sympathy back.

“Yeah, and it’s a huge improvement!” Rizzo said.

“Si, jou’ve never looked better, hokay?” Pepe added.

She turned to the two pests with a testy smile. “Then perhaps each of vous would like one as well?”

They skittered a few steps back.

<grins> You know, PIggy does over react sometimes...well, often... but it's not like she's always unprovoked! These two, and Floyd, usually have it coming, and I'm always surprised when she lets them off with a verbal warning. Love the consonance, pests, and testy. Lovely! Also love her use of the word vous there, when she means ANYTHING but the formality the french generally implies.

Kermit was frowning. “What happened?” he asked.

“Yeah, ‘cause I’ve gotta try it!” Gonzo said.

<pats Gonzo fondly on his little blue head.> Hmm.. why do I think that's not such a sympathetic frown?

Miss Piggy could feel Kermit’s deeply critical eyes on her. At least he was looking at her; that was more than he had done in days. She met his eyes uncomfortably. “It’s nothing,” she said. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or more nervous that he held her gaze.

Great, he thought, now she’s lying. “Right,” he said very quietly, and he lifted his copy of the script. “Let’s run this.”

Ouch. Ah, I have my answer. Wow... deeply critical eyes... the longer this goes on between them, the worse it gets. (I'm sure there are some who would say that about their romance.) Now he thinks... well, actually, she IS lying to him... but it's sort of one of those lies that people tell all the time. You know, don't worry about me, I'm ALWAYS this colour, or I never walk in a straight line, or I've never remembered where I live, or even, Beau has always had possession of my arms for some reason.... but I digress. Got me right in the heart that Kermit looking at her critically is the most he'd done in days... very sad that Piggy can find the positive in that.

“Cheating is very bad, hokay?”

“Oh, like you can talk, shrimp!”

“KING PRAWN, hokay!”

“Whatever!”

“Yes?”

“Sheesh…”

Yup. It was a typical rehearsal. It took an hour to get through the five-minute skit, at which point Kermit sighed heavily.

Ah, muppety banter, just what I needed. The muppets, in turn, need to have a little talking time with Rowlf, and then with each other... well, can you tell I'm thinking of two muppets in particular? (You know, not taking into account the two muppets I'm nearly ALWAYS talking about)

“All right,” he said wearily, “We can work on this tomorrow. Let’s break for lunch.”

The actors quickly scattered in their various directions.

I like the weariness, and the description.

Miss Piggy scurried into her dressing room, closed the door, and locked it. She averted her eyes from the mirror until she was seated in her chair. Then she slowly lifted her eyes and examined her reflected face.

Ah, poor thing, he's got her scurrying again. I think he does that to her more often than either of them realise... but I'm rambling... again. Heck, that's what my reviews are! It all dates back to my very first review, which I think was for Ru's first story, which she posted on... nevermind.

It wasn’t such a huge bruise, but it was across the top of her left cheek. She reached for her make-up bag and set about covering it up.

<winces> Ah, Piggy dearest... always covering something up.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~​

“Müppen bürgen høøsah!”

You know, it's always SO difficult figuring out which muppet is talking.

“Hey Chef, could you put Rowlf on?”

“Øøkie-døøkie!” Chef turned and held the phone out to Rowlf. “De frøøgen hoppity-hop,” he said.

Oh, him. Right. Love the name for Kermit!!

“Thanks,” Rowlf said. He reached for the phone and frowned. The casts spread his fingers just a little too far for him to grip the phone. He balanced it carefully with both paws. “Hello?”

“Hey Rowlf, how’s it going?”

Now there's a cry for help, if you know what to look for... and Rowlf certainly does. I continue to love all the little references to Rowlf's struggling. Not that I like seeing him struggle, but it's a good writing thing.

“Oh, it’s pretty good, Kermit,” the dog said. “How’s the theater?”

“Well, it’s still standing.”

“That’s good! I was wondering.”

“How’s the house?”

“Still standing.”

<giggles> Ah, now that's a conversation they've had before.

“Oh good. So what’ve you guys been up to?”

“Chef’s cleaning, I’m watching, and we’re talking. It’s entertaining.”

“I’m sure.”

<giggles> Entertained me, anyway. Be careful though, Rowlf, if he starts talking about making dog biscuits...

“So what’s on your mind?”

“Um… not much. We’re just on lunch break now, and I thought I’d see how you’re doing.”

“Oh. Well, we’re doing fine.”

“Have you guys eaten yet?”

“Yup. Have you?”

“No, I figured I’d give you a call first. I think I’ll got eat something now, though.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go do that, then.”

“Okay. Later, Rowlf!”

An entire conversation about nothing... uh huh. Rowlf, you're not gonna let that slide are you?

“See ya, Kermit.” Rowlf frowned as he let Chef hang up the phone. Nothing was on Kermit’s mind? The frog was lying through his teeth- and he didn’t even have teeth!

Good dog. (Love the teeth line!!!)

To quote my beloved mentor, MORE PLEASE!!!!!

 

[The Count]

*Comes up for air after reading through almost two pages worth of posts... Excuse me for interrupting the muffining... But ditto to what Layla said.

Oh and Layla... You have come a long way young one... Name game quoting have learned you well...
Applaud you shall I now...

More story pLisa!

 

[Beauregard]

Having tossed her script onto the chair, Miss Piggy started the skit from the top, imitating the blocking as well as she could. This eventually put her dangerously close to the door, which, of course, was suddenly slammed open.

“Miss Pigg-“

“OW!”

“Oh! I’m sor-“

“HI-YA!”

The intruder fell into the railing behind him.

“SAVE THE SLAPSTICK FOR THE STAGE!”

*falls out of chair* I simply couldn't bring myself to cut this apart for quoting. It's all so together! And so hilariously funny! And so unpredictable! I love her "Ow!"

Scooter

Well, who would have guessed?

...“Would you like me to get you an ice pack?”

“No, Scooter. I would like you to tell me why you’re here so I can punch your face in and move on!”

Poor Scooter! He's only trying to help!

He gulped. “Kermit-wants-you-on-stage-now-to-run-the-diner-skit-and-maybe-change-the-blocking-okay-see-ya-later-bye!” He shot off.

Oooh! Nice running setence there. And nice running away, Scooter.

...she slunk back into the dressing room and slid the door shut.

She, Shlunk, Slid, Shut...nice S filled sentence...

Fine.

Is that even a sentence? It's perfect!

They skittered...

Skittered!

Great, he thought, now she’s lying.

KERMIT GET YOUR SCEPTICAL HEAD OFF AND SEE THAT SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE THIGNS BETTER YOU STUCK UP OLD FROG!!!

"...but I’ve gotta talk to Beau,” Kermit said.

Kermit, I'm not talking to you until you make up with Piggy...wait, wrong Beau...

“Cheating is very bad, hokay?”

“Oh, like you can talk, shrimp!”

“KING PRAWN, hokay!”

“Whatever!”

“Yes?”

“Sheesh…”

Reminds me of MSN convos...

“Müppen bürgen høøsah!”

Did I say how good your Chef was recently? It's so good!

“How’s the theater?”

“Well, it’s still standing.”

“That’s good! I was wondering.”

“How’s the house?”

“Still standing.”

Nice, nice nice!

The frog was lying through his teeth- and he didn’t even have teeth!

So get down there and sort this Rowlf, go get that frog back in order.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Just wanted to pop in and nag a little. SO can we get some more of this story....or even that other wonderful story that you've left us hanging on called Flippersteps? Something? Please?

 

[The Count]

Flipper what? Mmm, not sure I know that one. Seems the story well's run dry and we haven't gotten any updates recently.
So in the interest of nagging... More please!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Oh wow, I can't believe I've nevver reviewed this story! Forgive me?
Anyhow, this is oh so emotional! I think I am the only one, but I do support Piggy's decision to get back her purse! First of all, I think it was partly impulse, second of all, it is her propperty, and third of all, if Kermit payed more attention, he would realize that it had nothing to do with her true feelings for the family! Good grief, now they sound like the mob...
I would also like to say that I appreciate the fact that this Kermie/Piggy thing is a far secondary subplot than Rowlf's. While I am more open to the pairing than I was when Ru started writing, I still feel in a story like this, there are more serious and important things to worry about. No offense to the ushygushies!
Poor Rowlf, not feeling needed, and not being able to take comfort from the others. I do believe the chef was trying to be helpful, and that Rowlf understood him, even if I didn't.
Did he, or is this just me being sentimental?

In grand MC fanfic tradition, more please!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Chapter Fourteen

The Swedish Chef grabbed a fresh washcloth, spritzed a purple-goop-covered cabinet with some miracle cleaner that Rowlf had never heard of before, and began to scrub.

“GURRRRR-HOUGH!” something complained.

Chef froze. “Shmergle?” He lifted the washcloth and stared at it.

“EEE-HAH!” The washcloth produced furious eyes from nowhere. “OHHHHHHH!” It launched itself at Chef.

“Schkyeward! Schmeck shøøpin de hauskie baüvim!” Chef grabbed a rolling pin and clobbered the cloth away.

It landed in the sink, jumped up, and bit the faucet off, causing water to spray everywhere.

“Nü! Quer shlüpen mir føøskie loop loop!” Chef ran over to the sink.

Rowlf stood up from the table. “Well,” he said, “It looks like this is my cue to back away slowly.” And so he did.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~​

Fozzie stared at his feet. He was safely tucked away where no one ever went- backstage left.

“Let’s see,” he mumbled to himself. “It’s… step… tap… step… tap… oh… does it start to the left or the right?”

He scratched his head.

“Well, it… It’s one of those,” he sighed. “And then…one, two, three?…” He took three steps forward. “And then…”

He stopped and thought for a long time.

“Oh! Kick!”

He kicked, planting the curtain rope squarely between his toes.

“OUCH!” He grabbed his foot and hopped about. “Ow, ow, ow, ow… Okay, okay, it’s fine.” He put his foot down. “Where was I- um… Oh, kick. Um- so my foot goes… here…”

He tucked his sore foot behind the other.

“And then… turn…”

He twisted, his feet knocked into each other, and he lost his balance.

“WHOA!”

Fozzie fell face-first on the floor.

“Oh…” he groaned. He hesitated, sighed, and pushed himself back onto his feet. “Okay, so…It’s… step… tap… step… tap… one… two… three… Don’t kick the rope…”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~​

The front door opened and closed.

Rowlf perked up for the first time since leaving the kitchen. “Robin?”

There was the weak sound of soft flippersteps, and a small voice said, “Hi Rowlf,” very quietly and with none of the usual enthusiasm.

Rowlf stood up from the couch and hurried to crouch at the entryway, where Robin was gloomily de-burdening himself of his backpack. “What’s on your mind?” the dog asked.

The young frog froze, several emotions battling for control of his facial expressions. “I- I- I don’t wanna talk about it,” he quickly stuttered.

Rowlf knowingly tilted his head to the side. “Is that your final answer?” he asked.

Robin looked straight into his great big eyes. “No,” he said, “But…”

Rowlf tilted his head the other way. “But?”

Robin squirmed. “But… Well Uncle Kermit kinda made it seem like I shouldn’t complain about stuff to you until your paws are better,” he said.

“Hm,” Rowlf said thoughtfully. “How come?”

Robin shrugged. “I dunno,” he said. “Maybe for the same reason we weren’t supposed to complain to Grandma when she was sick.”

Rowlf frowned slightly. “Now why was that?” he asked.

“I dunno,” Robin said. “I know she got tired a lot.”

Rowlf sighed. “Robin,” he said, “Do you know what I’m tired of?”

The young frog shook his head.

Rowlf lowered his voice. “Having no one to listen to,” he said.

Robin thought about it for a moment, and then showed a sliver of a smile as he stepped over. “Well I can help with that,” he said.

Rowlf reflected the sliver of a smile. “I thought so,” he said. He ushered the young frog to the couch and sat down. “So let’s try this again: What’s on your mind?”

Robin hopped up onto the arm of the couch. “There’s a new kid in class,” he said. “His name is Joey, and…” He squirmed a little. “And he’s only got one leg.”

Rowlf tilted his head. “Hm,” he said, “How come?”

Robin shrugged. “He said he was born that way,” he said.

Rowlf nodded attentively. “That happens sometimes,” he said gently.

Robin nodded. “And then there’s this other kid in class, named Mikey? He’s got glasses, and- well he’s not very nice. I don’t like him. And he said- he said that Joey is gimpy.” He looked up at Rowlf with round, innocent, confused eyes. “I don’t know what it means, but- but he said it really mean. And then Joey called Mikey four-eyes, and- and I know what that means, but- Joey said it nicely.” Robin frowned and looked down. “And then Mikey hit Joey and the teacher sent them both to the principal.”

Rowlf nodded and gently set his cast-bound paw on the young frog’s back. “I’m sure the principal worked it out,” he said assuringly.

“I know,” Robin sighed. He looked up. “Rowlf?” he said. “I miss your piano.”

Rowlf nodded and sighed. “So do I, Robin,” he said, “So do I.”