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Chapter 18
"You know my percussionist friend," Dr Teeth looked across their campfire at Animal, "there is a moniker for your cranial functions now."
Animal's eyebrows raised as he leaned back slightly trying to get the feel for what their leader was telling them. He hated sitting still. As Dr. Teeth had told the band of how he had come to befriend Animal during their high school days together, despite the difficulties communicating, they had grown weary of the road and pulled off to camp for the night. He began to rock from side to side as he waited nervously for what Dr. Teeth would tell him.
"No worries my main drum man," Dr. Teeth read the feeling in Animal's glance. "You remain an animal on that instrument of yours or we would not be able to make our melodious sound without it. Just rest assured that there are others like you."
"Oh, like rully?" Janice looked over at Dr. Teeth.
"Oh yes. Life handles them like a puzzle and tries to make their abnormal piece fit within expected boxes. Very few are able to steal away into a situation that fits their quintessence." Dr. Teeth stirred the embers of the fire as he spoke more. "And while I postulate that our drummer here is elated with our companionship, he may want to ameliorate others who have not been as fortunate."
"So, were going to hold a concert?" Lips spoke up from the other side of the fire. "For Autism?"
"Concert, concert, concert." Animal chanted a smile crossing his face.
"Certainly," Dr. Teeth flashed his golden smile back at the group, "After we have helped our fearless pollywog overseer. Speaking of which, what tome do we add next to our compilation?"
* * * * * *
New York, 1974
"Oh, man. Not another one." Rowlf covered his eyes as the band took the stage. The sound was discordant as the strains of what he believed was supposed to be Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band reached his ears.
Kermit looked over at his friend. "It is a catchy song."
"Only if it's played right boss." Scooter sided with Rowlf as he sat down in the seats behind the pair.
"Why aren't the Electric Mayhem doing this anyway? The music is their main gig." Rowlf eyed Kermit carefully.
"Because Dr. Teeth said that they were still looking to fill one more role." Kermit sighed as Scooter and Rowlf stared at him for the rest of the answer, "And the band hasn't exactly agreed to the terms yet. Apparently they don't like the music we are asking them to play."
"And don't you forget it frog!" Floyd Pepper called down from the second level in the theater.
"Floyd!" Kermit spun around to face the bass player, "Why don't you come down here and take over this for us?"
"Because we're scouting the talent at our own auditions man!"
"Then why don't you go there?"
"Just bring on the babes!"
As Kermit settled back into his seat, Scooter dismissed the band on stage and called for the next group to come up. Various calls of "not going to do the music until you meet our demands" and "it's so unhip, man, so unhip" could be heard from the back of the theater.
Each group was locked in their own discussion as the confidant blond walked onto stage and made her introduction, unconcerned with the fact that no one was listening to her.
"Like, I know this song doesn't rully apply to me, but I love it." She tried to see out past the stage into the darkness. "So, rully, I'm just going to, like, play it for you now."
Instead of playing the strings on the guitar strapped around her neck she started the song by drumming on body instead. Without looking at her Rowlf shook his head and said, "Put me to sleep now, Kermit, another one with an instrument they don't know what to do with."
The strong, sultury, able bodied voice then filled the auditorium with the lyrics to the song:
"My father married a pure Cherokee"
All eyes turned to the woman on stage. Clearly she had been right, the song did not apply to her, but she was the first person that day to sing it that could equal Cher in passion for what the lyrics said. Her skinny pale legs and arms carried her agile athletic body well as she moved honestly with the music she created for the song.
"My mother's people were ashamed of me
The indians said I was white by law
The White Man always called me "Indian Squaw"
The cat calls from the second level began as she launched into the chorus.
"Wo-Man! Wo-Man! Wo-Man!" chanted the creature the simply called Animal from above.
"Oh, man!" Floyd Pepper was almost dripping from the railing as he took in the performance.
"Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born"
The girl coyly looked out at the theater as she finished her performance, foot kicked to the side as she waited for feedback.
"Oh, man!" Floyd, having not regained his composure was still hanging over the railing as he called out. "You are it. Welcome to the Electric Mayhem!"
"Most assuredly my charming enchantress. We would be most exalted to have you grace our presence." Dr. Teeth agreed.
"Like, wow! Rully?" A smile began to stretch across her face.
"Umm, miss?" Kermit called from his seat.
"It's Janice."
"Yes, Miss Janice," Kermit started again.
"Like, it's just Janice." Shyly she lowered her head.
"Ignore the band up there," Kermit began. "As you were not auditioning for them." Rowlf and Scooter quickly looked over at him and caught the gleam in his eye. Clearly, this would be his leverage.
"Rully? I'm not?"
"No," Kermit continued, "You're not auditioning for me, and my troupe the Muppets."
Outrage could be heard from the second level. "Come On Frog!! Surely you would not stand in the way of hip music like this!"
"Like, what are the Muppets?"
"A troupe of frogs and bears and chickens and things." Kermit smiled as he watched the confusion spread across the girl's eyes.
"Like, what kind of music would I play?"
"Really, unhip stuff if you stick with him!" Floyd called out. "You are meant to be Mayhem, babe! Come join us!"
"Floyd," Kermit stood to face him. "Why don't you hold your own auditions?"
"What's the point when you're doing the work for us?" He called back.
"Do you want her with you?" Kermit repressed his smile knowing the answer to the question. "Dude!" was the only response he received back. "If you want her," Kermit continued, "agree to do the music for our first season and then we will renegotiate." He crossed his arms as he waited for the response.
"Our fearless leader has given us the quandary." Dr. Teeth looked over to his friend at the railing. "Is the lady worth that? After all, she is homo sapien."
"Not for long man. " Floyd pointed to Janice's feet, visible in her sandals and the obviously yellow toes.
"Most assured, then, that this is truly the next member for us!" Dr. Teeth stood as he proclaimed to Kermit, "Draw the contract, my green friend! Janice, my lady, you shall rock with us!"
Confused, Janice looked carefully between the band and Kermit. "Like, I don't care what the contract says," Janice started, emphatic to make her point, "I will not take off my clothes."
"You know my percussionist friend," Dr Teeth looked across their campfire at Animal, "there is a moniker for your cranial functions now."
Animal's eyebrows raised as he leaned back slightly trying to get the feel for what their leader was telling them. He hated sitting still. As Dr. Teeth had told the band of how he had come to befriend Animal during their high school days together, despite the difficulties communicating, they had grown weary of the road and pulled off to camp for the night. He began to rock from side to side as he waited nervously for what Dr. Teeth would tell him.
"No worries my main drum man," Dr. Teeth read the feeling in Animal's glance. "You remain an animal on that instrument of yours or we would not be able to make our melodious sound without it. Just rest assured that there are others like you."
"Oh, like rully?" Janice looked over at Dr. Teeth.
"Oh yes. Life handles them like a puzzle and tries to make their abnormal piece fit within expected boxes. Very few are able to steal away into a situation that fits their quintessence." Dr. Teeth stirred the embers of the fire as he spoke more. "And while I postulate that our drummer here is elated with our companionship, he may want to ameliorate others who have not been as fortunate."
"So, were going to hold a concert?" Lips spoke up from the other side of the fire. "For Autism?"
"Concert, concert, concert." Animal chanted a smile crossing his face.
"Certainly," Dr. Teeth flashed his golden smile back at the group, "After we have helped our fearless pollywog overseer. Speaking of which, what tome do we add next to our compilation?"
* * * * * *
New York, 1974
"Oh, man. Not another one." Rowlf covered his eyes as the band took the stage. The sound was discordant as the strains of what he believed was supposed to be Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band reached his ears.
Kermit looked over at his friend. "It is a catchy song."
"Only if it's played right boss." Scooter sided with Rowlf as he sat down in the seats behind the pair.
"Why aren't the Electric Mayhem doing this anyway? The music is their main gig." Rowlf eyed Kermit carefully.
"Because Dr. Teeth said that they were still looking to fill one more role." Kermit sighed as Scooter and Rowlf stared at him for the rest of the answer, "And the band hasn't exactly agreed to the terms yet. Apparently they don't like the music we are asking them to play."
"And don't you forget it frog!" Floyd Pepper called down from the second level in the theater.
"Floyd!" Kermit spun around to face the bass player, "Why don't you come down here and take over this for us?"
"Because we're scouting the talent at our own auditions man!"
"Then why don't you go there?"
"Just bring on the babes!"
As Kermit settled back into his seat, Scooter dismissed the band on stage and called for the next group to come up. Various calls of "not going to do the music until you meet our demands" and "it's so unhip, man, so unhip" could be heard from the back of the theater.
Each group was locked in their own discussion as the confidant blond walked onto stage and made her introduction, unconcerned with the fact that no one was listening to her.
"Like, I know this song doesn't rully apply to me, but I love it." She tried to see out past the stage into the darkness. "So, rully, I'm just going to, like, play it for you now."
Instead of playing the strings on the guitar strapped around her neck she started the song by drumming on body instead. Without looking at her Rowlf shook his head and said, "Put me to sleep now, Kermit, another one with an instrument they don't know what to do with."
The strong, sultury, able bodied voice then filled the auditorium with the lyrics to the song:
"My father married a pure Cherokee"
All eyes turned to the woman on stage. Clearly she had been right, the song did not apply to her, but she was the first person that day to sing it that could equal Cher in passion for what the lyrics said. Her skinny pale legs and arms carried her agile athletic body well as she moved honestly with the music she created for the song.
"My mother's people were ashamed of me
The indians said I was white by law
The White Man always called me "Indian Squaw"
The cat calls from the second level began as she launched into the chorus.
"Wo-Man! Wo-Man! Wo-Man!" chanted the creature the simply called Animal from above.
"Oh, man!" Floyd Pepper was almost dripping from the railing as he took in the performance.
"Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born"
The girl coyly looked out at the theater as she finished her performance, foot kicked to the side as she waited for feedback.
"Oh, man!" Floyd, having not regained his composure was still hanging over the railing as he called out. "You are it. Welcome to the Electric Mayhem!"
"Most assuredly my charming enchantress. We would be most exalted to have you grace our presence." Dr. Teeth agreed.
"Like, wow! Rully?" A smile began to stretch across her face.
"Umm, miss?" Kermit called from his seat.
"It's Janice."
"Yes, Miss Janice," Kermit started again.
"Like, it's just Janice." Shyly she lowered her head.
"Ignore the band up there," Kermit began. "As you were not auditioning for them." Rowlf and Scooter quickly looked over at him and caught the gleam in his eye. Clearly, this would be his leverage.
"Rully? I'm not?"
"No," Kermit continued, "You're not auditioning for me, and my troupe the Muppets."
Outrage could be heard from the second level. "Come On Frog!! Surely you would not stand in the way of hip music like this!"
"Like, what are the Muppets?"
"A troupe of frogs and bears and chickens and things." Kermit smiled as he watched the confusion spread across the girl's eyes.
"Like, what kind of music would I play?"
"Really, unhip stuff if you stick with him!" Floyd called out. "You are meant to be Mayhem, babe! Come join us!"
"Floyd," Kermit stood to face him. "Why don't you hold your own auditions?"
"What's the point when you're doing the work for us?" He called back.
"Do you want her with you?" Kermit repressed his smile knowing the answer to the question. "Dude!" was the only response he received back. "If you want her," Kermit continued, "agree to do the music for our first season and then we will renegotiate." He crossed his arms as he waited for the response.
"Our fearless leader has given us the quandary." Dr. Teeth looked over to his friend at the railing. "Is the lady worth that? After all, she is homo sapien."
"Not for long man. " Floyd pointed to Janice's feet, visible in her sandals and the obviously yellow toes.
"Most assured, then, that this is truly the next member for us!" Dr. Teeth stood as he proclaimed to Kermit, "Draw the contract, my green friend! Janice, my lady, you shall rock with us!"
Confused, Janice looked carefully between the band and Kermit. "Like, I don't care what the contract says," Janice started, emphatic to make her point, "I will not take off my clothes."
Java? ! ?