One Shots, Parodies, & Trailers!

[WebMistressGina]

Okay... Things in here.

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Ah, I see you've adopted the Greenberg definition of the term "insanity".

Actually, I thought this was an Einstein quote, but still a good one for poor, deluded Kermit.

*Chuckles at the bit where both angry parties storm off to their own corners. For Kermit, that means driving around the studio's parking lot on his golf cart. The max speed is 5 MPH, but he sometimes goes up to 6 or 7 when angry, he doesn't care! (That's from Episode 102: Hostile Makeover).

Shhh! Don't ruin! I haven't seen it yet.

It's a good thing you've paused this oneshot to wait to include Rowlf eventually, the dog and his tavern will make their debut in this week's episode, 103: Bear Right and Then Bear Left. Or is it the other way around? Maybe they got the joke about bear left, right frog as mixed up as I have just now. *Shrugs.
Actually... Hostile Makeover makes me think it took place when Kermit and Denise still hadn't hooked up as she was noticeably absent.

Not sure on timeline, as I've seen a couple of the 'behind the scenes'/one shots that have popped up before and around the show. Not sure why Rowlf is running a tavern, when in one of their promos, he's talking to Scooter and they're obviously in the studio, but whatever.

As for Denise, in this case, I'm just going to assume that Kermit met her at work obviously (he makes a mention he does have a thing for pigs in I think the same promo) and as you'll see in this next section, the reasons for Kermit to go and get this girl is hopefully made apparent.






Friday night saw Kermit setting up a table, with a romantic dinner, champagne, and a rose at the center of the table. For all of his fears of getting into a relationship that was doomed from the start, Kermit didn’t seem to have any nerves this night, so he took it as sign. If he wasn’t nervous, that meant he had things well in hand, and that his plan was going to work. He would propose, Denise would say yes, and he’d have a happy ever after ending all those songs and fairy tales stated he should have.

In hindsight, he would probably wonder at the possibility that perhaps Denise didn’t want to get married or have children and maybe they should have had this conversation before he proposed, but for the moment, he was fine. His calm, rational girlfriend would take his proposal with some surprise and would then calmly and rationally say yes, because that was how normal, well-adjusted relationships worked. Normal, calm, rational relationships were calm and rational, with no torrents of unpredictability and out of control behavior because that all equaled insanity and as Kermit had realized this week, he was not insane.

He hung out with insane people, but he – Kermit the Frog – was perfectly sane. Yes. Yes he was.

And perfectly sane people made romantic dinners for their current girlfriends and did not once think about other dinners, with other girlfriends who were the complete opposite of sane because only a lunatic would jump some unsuspecting boyfriend from behind with a marriage proposal. Because…that was not at controllable or sane. At all.

So he had it all planned – romantic atmosphere, romantic dinner, romantic drinks, and romantic talk about the wonders of marriage, which would then lead to his proposing, then yes, then kissing, then…well, the night was still young. Kermit had grabbed Denise earlier, passing her in the hallway before kidnapping her and kissing her in the closest closet. She had been more than a little surprised, as Kermit didn’t seem like the ‘hide in closets to kiss' kind of boyfriend, but she had let him take the lead for a little bit before backing out quietly. He had almost forgotten to ask her to dinner, excited as he had been, and she smiled nicely and whispered yes, she would be happy to.

And if Piggy just happened to walk by at that moment, he may have given her a well-deserved smirk because he was frog, hear him roar! No diva was going to make him think he only lost his bearings with her, because she did not rule his heart, no she didn’t. And whatever weirdness that passed between them that made a weird pit in his stomach, he pushed off to not having had breakfast that morning. So he made up for it during lunch.

He had told her 7 o’clock, which had given him enough time to escape from the studio, come back home and order a really nice dinner. He wished he had the culinary skills to actually create a wonderful dinner, but alas his creative outlets went other avenues; the one time he had tried, he’d…no. No, he was not going to go there because dang it, he was in a normal, well balanced, rational relationship and one side of that coupling should not be thinking about sides that are not a part of that well balanced coupling.

Five till seven, there was a knock on the door to his little, modest apartment. This was the perfect size, not the sprawling gigantic house that…Kermit was pretty sure that Denise wouldn’t want a huge house. Why would she? She was perfectly quaint in her little apartment cause you know, normalcy. She would totally not want to have their faces on the gate cause that was…why was he even thinking about this when he had a cute little brunette to entertain?

Dinner of course went off without a hitch – quiet conversation, a few laughs here and there, one drink for his baby and two for him. Soon conversation moved to the couch and Kermit was more than happy to put his arm around his girl. “Hey Denise,” he began. No nicknames for his little pig, nope, cause…okay, that was a weird point, but he could live with it. He totally could.

“How do you feel about marriage?”

“Oh I like marriage,” she said, turning to gaze at him. “Marriage is very good for people, I think. It means you love each other very much.”

Kermit couldn’t help but smile and nod. That weird feeling appeared again in his stomach, but he took it for nerves because of course he…he…cared deeply about Denise. And caring was…essentially like…she was going to be a great wife. She was going to be the wife he should have and would have and was totally going to marry. Right. Exactly.

“Good,” he sighed, happily. “That’s…that’s good, that’s great. Um…how then…would you feel about…marrying me?”

It was the lead in to his proposal, though it could be counted as a proposal, if she asked what he meant by that. For a fleeting moment, he felt his heart lurch at the prospect that she might actually say yes and then he’d be married to the wrong pig, but he pushed those thoughts through his never ever again door in his mind, locked it, wrapped a chain around it, pushed a big oak dresser in front of it and then set it all on fire.

“Well that would be nice,” came her answer, not exactly the excited tone he had hoped for, but you know what? It was Denise and of course she wasn’t as exciting…excited because she was a calm, rational being who…probably should have been a little more excited and surprised than he saw, but whatever. “Only…”

“Only?”

Snuggling closer to him, she continued her thought. “I’d probably only marry you if you stopped being friends with Miss Piggy.”

“What?”

The word stumbled from his lips faster than he pulled away, but he was quite sure he hadn’t heard that all correctly. “I…you…I don’t…think I heard you…?”

“You can’t be friends with Miss Piggy,” she said, shrugging.

“But why!?”

“Why?” she asked, looking at him as though he had grown another head. “You have history together, she’s your ex-girlfriend. It wouldn’t really feel right if I knew she was still around.”

“But she’s my friend, Denise,” Kermit countered, not sure how this conversation had gone from great to disastrous. “We’ve been friends for years and…and I’m the executive producer of her show. How exactly…?”

“Oh,” the manager said, sitting up and smiling. “I’d figured we’d both leave. I mean, you could get Scott to watch over things for you; isn’t that what he did in your last show?”

It took Kermit exactly twelve minutes to figure out that she was talking about Scooter and that she outlining how he could continue his career without the need for Piggy in it. He wasn’t exactly sure what he should say – at the moment, but obviously the thing Denise expected wasn’t what she got. In fact, she didn’t get anything at all.

So Friday night ended without Denise becoming Mrs. The Frog and Kermit more confused by what exactly had just happened.

 

[The Count]

If you're going by the promos and the pitch pilot, there are some things that made it into the first episode and other things that got changed around. For example, Scooter and Bobo are the ones who deliver the joke about the band being always happy, legally now in the second episode. And the fact Rowlf would have a tavern was established in all the pre-show material, it's part of the dynamic for the Muppet cast to go there after work kind of like how you have them at Shotsky's in the Monday Monday series.

As for this little insert... It's interesting how it was chiefly about Kermit trying to get Denise in his apartment to propose to her, and then you turned it around on the frog with Denise's "demand" if that's what it could be called. Keep writing, it's a good angle you're going after.

 

[WebMistressGina]

And we keep coming! Let's hope I get this finished tonight, yeah?




He ignored everyone on Saturday.

Not that he was in a huge demand over the weekends – usually – but after announcing his plans, he had gotten multiple texts from both Gonzo and Fozzie, asking him how it went and wondering if Denise had said yes. Gonzo had even asked – had the gall to actually ask – if Kermit had told Piggy yet and that’s why he had gone dark on a Saturday morning.

The truth was, the absolute truth, Denise had pretty much floored him with her request. Yes, he was well aware that dating someone outside of the Muppets would have to know that when you dated one, you dated all of them, but Kermit had never really been in that type of situation before. This was the first person he had dated in…well…a very long time. Maybe he was doing this wrong because how else could you explain his reaction?

Denise was good! She was everything that he should have wanted in a girlfriend. She was not a whirling hurricane, wrapped up in thunder and lightning and everything that should scare someone away; no, she was sunshine. She was calm and stable and…and…

This was Gonzo’s fault, he knew it. In fact, he had a half a mind to call up his weirdo writing friend and tear him a new one. His stupid comment about the front porch had completely thrown him off his game and now he couldn’t help but be mixed up in comparing one pig girlfriend with the other. Because that was exactly what Kermit had been doing all morning, had started doing as soon as Denise had left him Friday night.

It should have been a simple request, something he should have been able to do at the drop of a hat. Yes, a part of him thought Denise was insane for even suggesting it. Stop being friends with Piggy? Was that even possible? But there was another part of him that agreed – Piggy had been a huge presence in his life and still was. The only way he’d be able to find his own happiness was to let her go.

So what was the problem?

It took him the rest of Friday night and most of Saturday morning, but he knew the answer before he’d finish breakfast that morning. He couldn’t do it; he couldn’t let Piggy go.

She was a big part of his life and when they weren’t trying to tear each other apart, she was actually a guiding light in his life. No one pushed him or his buttons the way she did and often times, he found that right when he was about to give up and say this whole Hollywood career thing was the pits, it was Piggy who brought him back. She challenged him, confronted him, and made him lose control more often than not. Kermit would be lying if he said he wasn’t a better person from knowing the people he did.

Fozzie made him funnier and made him see that things weren’t always so bleak.

Gonzo made him take risks and made him take a step away from his comfort zone.

And Piggy…Piggy showed him how to love someone with an intensity that could only mean you were fated together.

On the outside it may have seemed clingy or destructive, but no great love affair could ever be called without heart.

Denise may have well asked him to never see Fozzie or Gonzo or Rowlf…for as many months as she had worked there, she didn’t know the names of everyone, not even his closest friends and she only remembered Piggy’s because…well. It was Piggy; you couldn’t really forget her if you tried. And Kermit had tried, oh wow had he tried. Any normal, sane person would have broken up with her and never seen her again; instead, he had boldly and happily gone to work with her on a weekly program where he would be spending most of his days with her.

Because…why the heck not?

And even if he hadn’t had a romantic past with her, Piggy was his friend. Wasn’t she? In all the time they had known each other, Kermit couldn’t really put Piggy on his friend’s list; not that she wasn’t! It was just, they didn’t exactly start out as friends. From the word go, Piggy had been trying to attract him, while he had been trying to fight his attraction to her. They were involved from the moment they met, even if his weak willed ways withered a few months later.

Maybe that had been what Denise had sensed; maybe she thought that any moment, Kermit’s will would suddenly collapse and she’d find the two of them together. Embarrassingly, Kermit had to admit that she may have had a point there. How many times did Kermit need to reign in his jealously when Piggy flirted with one of her handsome male guests or he heard about one of her nights on the town with some hot up and comer. Insinuations aside, it dug into his heart that someone else got to spend time with her, hold her…

And the more it dug in, the more Kermit dug into his relationship with Denise.

This proposal was doomed from the start and his friends had seen it, too.

Why was it that no matter what he did in his love life, he could never have his cake and eat it too? Piggy never wanted to just continue on as boyfriend/girlfriend because she wanted a step further – the white picket house, the kids running in the yard. She probably would’ve taken it with or without a ring; she had gotten the house for that exact reasoning and he let her keep it in the breakup.

Denise was everything he should have wanted and everything he could have, if only he let go of one of the most important people in his life. It was either or. If he wanted Denise, he would have to drop Piggy; there was no way around it and any type of subterfuge wouldn’t work either. It was all or nothing at all.

And didn’t that just ring true for his porcine attraction?

Why couldn’t he have dated that nice frog who used to be their set designer? Or that toad his sister had once introduced to him? No, no, he would just have to have an unhealthy attraction to pork. Because why not?

By Saturday afternoon, his heart was still heavy and his brain hurt from all of his musings. He’d had to come up with a solution soon and by soon, he meant Monday. Denise, as nice and kind as she was, wasn’t going to just let go a conversation about marriage – what woman would? – especially when the question had been “how do you feel about marrying me?” If he truly wanted this, truly wanted her, he would need to give his notice to Piggy, the guys, and the network and then go through the process of hiring someone else.

Denise was right – Scooter would most likely be his suitable replacement; the frog had been training him since their Muppet Show days and the older he got, the more business savvy he had become. Scooter was able to keep everyone in line, usually, though more often than not, he was one of those who was out of line, just like the rest of them. If Rowlf wasn’t running the tavern, Kermit would’ve suggested him and he still might. Rowlf just enough patience and authority to get people moving and the dog was one of those people the producer turned to when he needed a calming influence.

However…they were both Piggy’s boys; she had them wrapped around her finger and while they wouldn’t do anything too crazy, they both loved her to do anything she would ask. Hopefully in reason, but…

And Denise said he could always continue on producing or acting if he wanted. He still knew people at Sesame Street and it certainly wasn’t as if he was short on talent; shows got spin offs all the time. Fozzie could hold his own, so could Gonzo, and the Mayhem had no qualms about touring if they wanted to and had the time. Marrying Denise would not be the end of the world.

Of course not. It would…it would just be different. Kermit didn’t like change, so for him to take this step, he’d be showing the world he could totally take charge of his life – professional and private – and he didn’t need to stay in the past about it. The world was different and he was different; he was older, wiser, hipper…to an extent, so this should be easy.

The next part…would not be.

If he was considering this, actually considering this, he would need to talk to Piggy. He couldn’t just let their blow up fester; it had happened before and it had been horrible. And he had lost her then, just like he could lose her now. He’d have to make amends. He didn’t want to leave things broken between them, they already were, so he needed to speak with her, one last time at least.

He could do this. It was his life and he always felt better when he was in control of it. And he was taking control.

He would learn to love her because…because that’s what normal, sane boyfriends did.

[hr]

It was an incoming text message that interrupted her breakfast.

Sunday mornings were lazy mornings and Miss Piggy appreciated lazy Sunday mornings. Despite the rumor mill and the gossip rags, her Sunday mornings didn’t start with saying goodbye to whatever date she had the night before; she wasn’t that kind of girl, thank you very much! But she had a reputation to uphold. Oh not the ‘I’m sleeping my way around Hollywood’ kind of rep, but the feminine rep of ‘I can do anything I want and with who I want and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it’.

She was a bad mamma jammer in pumps and that was how she rolled. In Hollywood, at least. In Beverly Hills, in her house, in her kitchen, and in her robe, she was a pig in despite need of coffee and food on a normal Sunday morning. Her weekend had been all about maintaining a calmness in the face of that frog. Only Kermit could make her see red and sometimes, karate chopping him into a door released the frustration of wanting to kill him and kiss him at the same time.

Everyone always assumed Kermit was this pillar of goodliness, with no malice in his heart what so ever. That was a lie. A complete and utter lie and one day, Kermit might even be the first to admit that sometimes his temper got the best of him. He didn’t get angry often, but when he did, it was scathing…not his typical arm waving, ‘I’m calling the mental hospital or the police and I’m carting you all off’ anger; no, when someone really got Kermit going, he could be the meanest and pettiest of the whole bunch.

Oh, they may have looked like a united bunch, but there were times the Muppets could cut you down so low, you needed a spatula to pick you back up. Being insulted by someone unknown was nothing, being insulted by people who knew you was the worse. And there had been some really harsh things said over their years together – Floyd Pepper had once cut her down so badly, she had slapped him; Rowlf had clocked Gonzo to the point the two of them had to be separated, least they needed to take both of them to the hospital.

And then there was Kermit.

No one could shatter her heart the way he could and had in their various times together. No one knew her the way Kermit did and she had thought no one knew him the way she did, which was way their fights were always so explosive. She called him an unexpressive control freak, he countered by calling her an untalented hack. Sometimes even she wondered what the heck she saw in him, when he was cutting her down to her very core.

Their latest argument – over his preconceived notion that she was dating her latest guest – was child’s play to them. In fact, it shouldn’t have even been an argument and Piggy had been quite confused at how the heck it had escalated so quickly. She didn’t want to fight with Kermit and more times than not, it was fun just to see him get all huffy that it was more turn on then off, he had gone right for the jugular and then right for her heart. She managed to make it to her dressing room before she had broken down and cried; she had made sure that when she left, she was completely composed, with no hint that her executive producer had managed to break her heart again.

But she wasn’t stupid – she knew Scooter knew and she knew Gonzo knew and the only way she could ensure that neither of them headed over to torch Kermit’s place or beat the snot out of him was the look of warning she sent to both. She even avoided heading over to Rowlf’s, lest he close up shop and beat the frog himself. She loved them, her idiot guards, she would never tell them that – okay, she may have mentioned it to them, separately, in a roundabout sort of way – and they would keep the peace just as she wanted.

By the end of the week, she had calmed down enough not to take notice of Kermit coming out of a closet with his girlfriend and her heart even managed to not give a lurch of hurt at the way he smirked at her, because they had played this game before. And she was done. Yes, she had asked Kermit to help with the show, certainly not because she still loved him and missed him – well, okay, yes – it was because he knew what he was doing and he was the best person for the job.

They could totally handle a professional relationship.

Until they couldn’t.

Again.

It was her fault, she knew it was. Kermit really did ask for little and certainly she should have been able to just be his girlfriend without being Miss Piggy, but there were times that trying to separate Piggy from Miss Piggy was hard, way too hard. Piggy didn’t like being a nobody and now that she wasn’t a nobody, nobody was going to make her go back to that; she had sacrificed everything to get where she was and in hindsight, that meant she had pushed Kermit in front of her like a Muppet meat shield.

So of course he’d move on to someone who would just want Kermit to be Kermit and not anyone else and it was no one’s fault but hers. But…that was then. Now, Sunday was going to be a day where she relaxed and forgot about the frog until she saw him on Monday. Then she was going to swallow her pride and apologize because that’s what he would want to hear, what he should hear, so he’d know that she wasn’t always a complete terror, even though it fit her rep and her persona.

So getting a text on a Sunday morning when she knew no one should be texting her on Sunday morning was a surprise.

The Frog: I’m sorry.

Well…that was unexpected. And it wasn’t like Kermit to text across feelings; he was very much an in-person guy.

Divine Miss P: Apologizing via text? That doesn’t seem like your style.

A beep later showed another text from The Frog – she had changed it from Kermie to The Frog after they had broken up.

The Frog: It’s not, but it’s a start. The apology I mean. I do have to see you, though. Lunch?

Lunch? Just what was that frog up to? Maybe he did want an in-person apology, that was more up his alley…

The Frog: Please, Piggy. It’s important.

Despite the simplicity of the message, the diva couldn’t help but think there was something wrong. Firstly, Kermit hated texting and only did out of obligation to answer incoming texts from everyone who did and secondly, if he was only apologizing, why was it so important? Closing her mind off to whatever reason he could need to see her and strengthening her resolve that she was going to be the one to say ‘I’m sorry’, she texted back her reply.

Divine Miss P: Where?

 

[WebMistressGina]

Alright, Mups, last of the evening. We aren't done yet, cause we've got fall out from the break up and what happens when Piggy discovers Kermit's proposal plan?

Count, my Count, I've brought you some Rowlf. Sorta.




Rowlf’s Tavern was a night club that sat across the street from the studios where Up Late with Miss Piggy was being filmed. Owned and run by former Muppet cast member, Rowlf the Dog, the Tavern supposedly wasn’t open until the late hours, usually a few hours before Piggy’s show went on air. On weekends, the Tavern opened up for lunch strictly at 11 am, officially.

As a former Muppet cast member and said owner of said night club, Rowlf had no qualms about opening the tavern early if the Up Late crew wanted to come in. It was payback as he was able to walk about the studio lot during the day when he didn’t have much to do until his tavern opened.

For Kermit’s purposes, it was a neutral place. Sorta. Rowlf could easily throw him out or even bar him from coming in if wanted – because the dog would’ve heard by now what had happened – but that was why everyone loved Rowlf; he rarely, if ever, took sides and was their voice of reason for whatever mishap may have befallen them. And Kermit needed a place where Piggy felt comfortable, where they could both be comfortable, and if push came to shove, if he had to leave her in tears, she would have a friendly shoulder to cry on.

She was already there, sitting at their normal hang out table, a mimosa in front of her. Well, at least she had a drink, that was good. And there were other people around, so even better. Walking in, he nodded to Rowlf standing behind the bar, who gave him a confused look as he passed – they hardly ever came in on a Sunday and it had to be something extremely important if just Kermit and Piggy were here.

Maybe he should have gone with Luciano’s instead.

“Alright,” she sighed, waiting at least until he sat down next to her. “What is so important you needed me to come down here, right now, on a Sunday?”

Always to the point, his diva.

His diva.

Emiting a nervous chuckle, Kermit asked, “Do I need a reason to see one of my friends?”

“Friends?” she laughed. “No. Me? Yes.”

Kermit was actually shocked by that. So his assumption had been spot on – neither of them had thought the other was a friend. Or maybe they did, but they thought the other didn’t? Wasn’t that the story of their courtship? “C’mon,” he said, a little sadly. “You…you don’t really think that. Do you?”

“Of course not,” was the airy reply, but Kermit had spent decades with this woman and the telltale blush of embarrassment answered his question. “But…we’re not exactly ‘just friends’ either.”

“You’re right,” he sighed. “We aren’t just friends.” It was now or never and if Kermit needed to man up, now was the time. Reaching across to give her gloved hand a squeeze, he whispered, “You’re one of my best friends.”

It was something he hadn’t ever said to her before. Oh, he had always mentioned that she knew him better than most, but never that he considered her one of his closest, if not best friend. Fozzie, Gonzo, and Rowlf would always be his best guy friends, but there had been things only Piggy had known and would only keep in her confidence.

And it was evident that the statement had shocked even Piggy, who took it as a rare sign when Kermit did or said something she had never expected. She was still trying to figure out some classy or hip way of saying that, yeah she knew she was awesome, but instead, she let out a surprised and hopeful, “Really?”

“Piggy, no one knows me better than you.”

“Or can annoy and frustrate you better.”

Now they were on solid ground. They were made up of biting wit and flirty banter, that was all them and they could never have it with anyone else.

“There is that,” the frog laughed. And as comical and nice as this conversation was, it wasn’t what Kermit had wanted to say.

It had taken him a day and half to come to this decision and it hadn’t been easy, not by a long shot. Kermit had to sit and take a long look at his life and take stock of what he needed in his life and…well…he was going to have two conversations Sunday morning and only one of them was going to be pleasant. This was his second one of the day.

Taking a breath, Kermit looked at the one woman who had been both pleasure, pain, temptation, and thorn all rolled into one. And he said what he had come there to say.

“I love you. No matter how you frustrate me, annoy me, or send me on the verge of a nervous breakdown…”

“There had better be a compliment somewhere in all of this,” she growled, playfully.

“There is, if you stop interrupting me,” he retorted. “No matter what…I would never want to go through life without.” He only paused to gather the rest of his courage. “I love you, Piggy.”

“Oh Kermie,” she giggled, though it was clear she was covering up the emotional that was caught in her throat. “I love you, too.” Looking around nervously, she whispered, “Best not let Denise hear all this.”

“Yeah, that…” the frog started, sagging in defeat. “That uh…is not going to be a problem.”

“Why?” she asked, suspiciously. Kermit was hiding something, that much was clear. What it was, she didn’t know, but she was going to find out. “What happened?” At his look, she gave the flipper that she was still holding a squeeze. “C’mon,” she said. “I know you. You did not just call me down here so you could tell me you love me. What’s wrong?”

So he told her.

He of course left out the part where he was going to propose and that Denise had told him in no uncertain terms that he would need to stop his association with her, but told her he did. He told her, very calmly, that Denise had broken up with him. And it was a very calm break up – he had called her earlier, asked to see her, and told her in no uncertain terms that while he and Piggy were no longer romantically involved, she was his friend and his family and he couldn’t, wouldn’t give that up.

He had hoped, for once, fate would be kind to him and let Denise understand and accept that no matter what, Miss Piggy was a part of his life, then, now, and for always. Just as he hoped whatever outcome of this would let him meet with Piggy to tell her that he was getting married and he wanted, needed her blessing because if she thought his future wife wasn’t worthy, he couldn’t live with her glares.

But fate was never kind when it came to Kermit’s romantic entanglements, but at least this break up was met with a calmness and…well, rather shrug of the shoulders from Denise. She had said she was sorry, that she hoped he’d get Piggy someday, and that was that.

It was the most anticlimactic break up he had ever had.

Piggy had a better reaction than Denise did – “Want me to rough her up?” And while the sentiment was nice and it made him laugh somewhat, he was fine in the notion that Piggy wasn’t going to be gunning for his ex-girlfriend. He hoped.

And then the diva asked the million-dollar question.

“Are you okay?”

He meant to answer that yes, he was fine. People broke up every day and this was no different; that he had searched deep down in his feelings and had come to the realization that he didn’t love Denise. Oh, there were things he liked about her, but there was nothing that said he was hopelessly, desperately in love with this pig. Nothing. Denise was a very…normal, calm, rational being and Kermit found that…he didn’t want a normal, calm, rational being. His friends were lunatics, his first ex-girlfriend was insane, and on a daily basis, he could be found running an insane asylum under the guise of a television show.

His life thrived on the unpredictable. He loved it, lived for it…losing Denise was the wakeup call he needed.

Right?

“I don’t know,” he answered, honestly. He wasn’t exactly happy, but he wasn’t sad either. He had more of a reaction to remembering why Piggy hated Elizabeth Banks than he did from this breakup. He should’ve been upset, shouldn’t he? Saddened by the loss of something that…that…that was utterly boring and safe and not prone to have him in fits or swigging Pepto from the bottle.

And he wasn’t. He was actually…pretty numb about it, to be honest.

Piggy must have seen something in him or known something, because she took charge of the situation, like she always did and ordered him a beer. And a second and a third, making sure to keep up with another mimosa and a beer of her own. Before they had realized it, their lunch had gone on for three hours, with Kermit telling her all the sordid little details about his last girlfriend, in which there really wasn’t anything to tell.

The conversation should have been uncomfortable to both of them – former lovers just should not talk about current or recently past ones, but where had it been anyone else, the words flowed. Kermit admitted to Piggy what he had only just admitted to himself that weekend – that Denise had been a safe bet, the calm in his roaring and ongoing seas of the Muppets and Up Late.

And to his surprise, Piggy freely admitted that she had been in the wrong, for a very long time, in their relationship. If this had been another time, another place, Kermit would’ve called her to the carpet on that point, hammering that heck yeah, it was all her fault, that he had just wanted to be a normal couple, doing normal couple things, but after admitting that his last girlfriend had literally bored him, he had countered and said that they had been both at fault.

It would’ve been easy to rebound back into each other and Kermit had almost been afraid of that when the sun went down and they were heading back to her house, right after they had gone out to dinner with each other. They had spent the whole day with each other, without trying to get the last word or outmaneuvering the other for whatever pet project they wanted to do. No, ironically enough, the normal out to dinner evening that Kermit had wanted for so long with Piggy took place when they weren’t even dating each other.

“Hey,” he said, standing outside their cab as it waited outside her gate. “I wanted…I wanted to thank you. For today. You didn’t…you didn’t need to do that.”

She huffed, before reaching to give his hand a squeeze. “What’re friends for?” They were silent for a moment before she gave his hand another squeeze. “If you need anything…”

“I know where to find you,” he answered, a smile on his face. “See you tomorrow.” He watched her head up the walkway and into the house before he got back into the cab to take him home. He was responding to a frantic text from Fozzie, who claimed Gonzo was convinced the diva had murdered him and was currently digging his grave, when the cab driver interrupted his thoughts. “I’m sorry?”

“I said you got a good looking pig there,” the cabbie repeated.

Smiling slightly at everything that had happened that day, Kermit made no point of correcting the obvious implication the driver had. Instead, he said, “I know” and went back to assuring his comic that he was perfectly fine, while threatening to fire or sue his head writer.

 

[The Count]

Thankses for this, I needed a good dose of fanfic to root out the crap in my mind. Sometimes my dreams, yeah, let's just leave it at that. No, not nightmares, just dreams that I'd rather strangle and club over the head with a rolling pin or whatever implement handy like if I could.

Wow, so you broke it off with Denise huh. Interesting, let's see how the showrunners handle that same issue.
Reason why I'm wanting to see Rowlf's new place is cause I have this notion that it would be the perfect spot to house Jolalene and the rest of the dog band Rowlf's currently touring with in KG. Though I'd feel more comfortable if it were the Stray Cats as the house band. *Shrugs, remembers I has my own club with the various musical acts lined up for October.

Nice ending what with Kermit and Piggy getting back on somewhat firmer ground. Oh, and Gonzo will be facing dating troubles of his own in the next episode, so maybe a bit of turnabout as fair play for the frog?

 

[WebMistressGina]

Wow, so you broke it off with Denise huh. Interesting, let's see how the showrunners handle that same issue.

Nice ending what with Kermit and Piggy getting back on somewhat firmer ground. Oh, and Gonzo will be facing dating troubles of his own in the next episode, so maybe a bit of turnabout as fair play for the frog?

Yep, Denise will be-a gone. I have nothing against her, other than the fact that she's dating Kermit. We all know K + P = forever so any other equation just doesn't do it.

The way I've set it up - and the way my mind's going - this is the start of something, I'm sure. The fact that the two of them have never exactly been friends I think is interesting, so the two of them breaking up, getting with other people, and working together will hopefully let them hit pause and try to see if they even can be friends. Obviously, I think they can, but it's totally not going to be easy.

Yeah...about Gonzo...so my next idea because of course NOW the muse is speaking to me, is to maybe explain why exactly Gonzo is doing online dating when he's supposed to be dating Camilla. I'll have to see the next episode (ok, all of them before Tuesday), but I'm going to take a guess and state that the writers probably either forgot or have no idea that Gonzo is already in a committed relationship and as much as I've always thought both Gonzo and Rowlf to be lovers of the ladies, I've never thought they would be cheaters.

I had once played around with the idea of Gonzo juggling both Camilla and someone else, but it just didn't feel like something Gonzo would do.

Anyway...story not actually finished, I have a little tag to add (though yes, leaving it like this works as well), but I has a lot of things to do today, so fingers crossed that I'll be able to finish this up and maybe...I'll give you that Gonzo idea I have.

 

[The Count]

Meh, I dunno. After living with a person who could be defined by the same hot-headed temperament as for most of my life, I can understand Kermit's relationship with Denise as a far calmer girlfriend such as Denise. So I really have nothing against her, maybe if she had been brought as someone who worked with the rest of the Muppets first, her addition wouldn't be so jarring or clashing to the rest of the gang. *Shrugs.

Look forward to whenever you're able to post that Gonzo idea.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Meh, I dunno. After living with a person who could be defined by the same hot-headed temperament as for most of my life, I can understand Kermit's relationship with Denise as a far calmer girlfriend such as Denise. So I really have nothing against her, maybe if she had been brought as someone who worked with the rest of the Muppets first, her addition wouldn't be so jarring or clashing to the rest of the gang. *Shrugs.

Look forward to whenever you're able to post that Gonzo idea.

Yeah, I agree with you, hence why I noted that the reason Kermit was with it was because she was the opposite of Piggy - from what I can see and tell - she's a lot calmer, actually listens to him, and is by far, a normal girlfriend. Think about some Hollywood couples were one half is a star and the other is regular nobody (Prince William and Kate Middleton come to mind for some reason) and most of the attention is just on the star.

It means that at most, one person will be mobbed by a crowd instead of both. In kermit's flashback to their break up, it's pretty clear that Piggy loves being the star, loves being in the limelight, and it's soemthing that Kermit - who a star in his own right - doesn't exactly like. Notice he's got the very background job of producer and not say, co-host (which had been one of my other one shot ideas).

While I do think dating someone who is NOT in the Muppets and not a star is good for Kermit, I think he'd get bored. I think of it like this - so in the new BBC version of Sherlock, last season Watson discovered that his wife was...not who she said she was (in case you haven't seen it and as River Song would say, "Spoilers!") and Watson was totally upset about it because he had wanted a nice, normal girl.

However, Sherlock pointed out that his life was NOT normal. For whatever reason, John Watson thrives on danger and excitement and not only did he pick a friend/collegue/and roommate who spent his time looking for such, he fell in love and married a woman whose life was equally dangerous and excited.

That's what I think Kermit is - he desperately wants a nice, normal girlfriend - especially when in the first few minutes of the first episode, he pretty much says that Piggy is insane and all her quirks made her insane - however, fate has pretty much told him he needs to be around people who are, essentially insane. Now, I'm not exactly sure what Kermit's live down Mississippi way was like, but if what we know is true, he's got a huge family and from what I know of large families (of which I don't have one), things are always chaotic.

I can see Kermit being used to the craziness of a large family and then wishing for the opposite - wishing that he just had normal, non-chaotic friends. However - and this may be more human biology and genetics than anything else - Kermit is prone to duplicate his familiar, if not outwardly crazy, loving environment with those around him. Hence why the Muppets aren't just a cast of two or three people, but hundreds and why Kermit flurishes in the midst of chaos (I always think that's why he was drawn to Sesame Street)

I'd like to think the adage every boy wants a woman who reminds him of his mother and every woman wants a man who reminds them of her father is true - to a point. I'd like to think that Kermit's mom is a very strong personality - you'd have to be with a thousand kids, I would think - and no nonsense and his father was more of the quiet figure that he is. I think they had their share of arguments - as bad as K & P? I could see it - but they always showed they loved each other, even when they disagreed.

With that said, I think the same is true for Piggy. I've always gotten the sense that Piggy probably adored her father, but he was closed off maybe? Or perhaps she only knew him for a short period of time (not that we know any of this. Do we? Or am I just pulling from fictions, thoughts, and other questions?), so while he was an intimidating figure when he needed to be, he was always kind to her, where as maybe her mother wasn't. I've never seen Piggy with any girl friends, despite there being female members of the Muppets. For such a girly girl, I actually think Piggy is used to hanging out with the boys.

Right, so I actually came here to say something about my Gonzo idea and I have completely forgotten what those points were.

As for Denise, I don't think it's her addition to the Muppets that's jarring. I mean, we survived Walter and we like him. I really honestly think it's because she's dating Kermit. If she wasn't dating Kermit, we'd be getting the same 'will they, won't they?' we've always gotten with K & P. I think worse thing now is that we've been teased with this new girlfriend, who hasn't even made an appearance yet. so yeah. Are these episodes happening before Kermit meets Denise? Are they just starting to date?

I'm actually more interested in everyone - meaning Gonzo, Fozzie, Piggy, Scooter, and Rowlf's - reaction to Kermit dating Denise than anything else. There's nothing going on now because they're used to Kermit and Piggy breaking up and making up, however they're never broken up and gotten with someone else before (that we know of), so I could easily see jaws dropping at the fact the frog has a new girlfriend, who is also not a core member of the Muppets.

They protect their own, the Muppets do, and while I don't think Denise is the harbinger of bad things, I could see some of the others splitting a line down the middle?

Right, okay. Tangent over.

 

[The Count]

Mmm, a few things in there.

Yes, there is a "cannon" (note that I wrote that word with quotations, or would those be air quotes?,) relationship between Piggy and her parents, both of them. Look it up on the Mup Wiki, there's info to be mined for usage in future fics or ficlets.

Denise just hasn't appeared all that often. But the guys did have this sort of "what? are you kidding us?" stare when she entered the writing staff room after the Dancing With the Czars pitch.
Incidentally, my mind has that sketch fleshed out as being hosted by Nicholas II introducing Catherine the Great Dancer and Ivan the Terrible Dancer competing against Rasputin and Anastasia, all as Whatnots of course.
The new character I'm interested but wary of seeing is this Debbie who's meeting Liam Hemmsworth, Thor's younger lesser-known brother at Rowlf's tavern.
*Shudders at the thought of whoever gets conned into being Mr. Debbie.

Also intrigued in the computer dating story with Gonzo since they did it before in a Muppetism with and where the latter said he didn't think the computers were sexy enough.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Mmm, a few things in there.

Yes, there is a "cannon" (note that I wrote that word with quotations, or would those be air quotes?,) relationship between Piggy and her parents, both of them. Look it up on the Mup Wiki, there's info to be mined for usage in future fics or ficlets.

Denise just hasn't appeared all that often. But the guys did have this sort of "what? are you kidding us?" stare when she entered the writing staff room after the Dancing With the Czars pitch.

This is why I come here, cause you know of the stuffs. So then I was on point with Piggy not really getting along with her parents. I had an idea for this, so I will have to revise a little.

Do we know if Piggy's mother is still alive? I would think Piggy wouldn't know, but that one her siblings would tell her? Doesn't actually seem like she's close to her family to start with.