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theprawncracker
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Chapter 20
"And that is why no self-respecting American citizen would dare endanger the lives of creatures such as the glorious penguins," Sam Eagle preached.
"Voody voody, poonguin flip flip flip flip flip!" The Swedish Chef countered in his mock Swedish tongue.
"Yes I know they flip, that’s all they ever do. Flip!" Sam shouted.
"Are you two still arguin’ about those flippin’ penguins?" Floyd asked.
Sam gasped. "How dare you use such language in a family forum’s fan-fiction?!"
"Hey man, calm down, I just said flippin’!" Floyd argued.
Sam threw his arms in the air. "There it is AGAIN! Silence your toilet mouth mister Pepper! Please!"
"C’mon Sam it’s no big deal!"
"No big deal?! NO BIG DEAL?! It is a HUGE deal Floyd! We represent the pinnacle of American society!"
"Yaber floo dee yahoo der usa!"
"That’s U.S.A. dude."
"Uh, hey guys," Rowlf interjected. "We gotta get back to the story," he whispered.
Sam shifted his eyes towards Rowlf. "Oh, oh yes, of course."
"Good," Rowlf nodded. "Okay guys, that’s your cue!" Rowlf called off.
A knock on the theater front door made all of the Muppets turn towards it in alarm. No one moved. Another knocking. Still, no one moved.
Clifford looked around. "Fine, I’ll get it!" He walked up to the theater’s lobby, where outside the glass doors he could see a man carrying a red, square-shaped bag. The man knocked on the glass and pointed to the bag. He mouthed, "I’ve got ten pizzas here for a Mr. R.V. Truck."
Clifford took off his glasses. "Man, there ain’t nobody here, or in the world that has that name," Clifford said back.
"I can’t here you," the pizza man mouthed.
"Well we’re locked in! I can’t open the door!" Clifford shouted.
"I don’t have any more."
"Door! Door!"
"No I won’t go back to the store!"
Clifford slapped his head. "Man, just go away!"
"You have to pay!"
Clifford shook his head. "Fine if I pay will you leave?" he pulled out his wallet and put it against the glass.
The man gave a thumbs up and nodded. He put the bag of pizzas on the ground. He put both of his hands on the glass window and began to take them off, and put them back on, take them off, and put them back on.
Clifford counted how many times the man did that. "Fifteen..." he said under his breath. "150 bucks for pizzas I didn’t order?! No way am I payin’!"
"Well, I don’t know how long I can stay...I’m on a tight shift."
Clifford muttered something under his breath and pulled out two one-hundred dollar bills from his wallet. "I don’t got a fifty, can you make change?" he asked, slipping the money under the door.
"Keep the change? Alright mac, thanks! I’ll just leave the pizza out here!" the man mouthed, pocketing the money and jogging back to his delivery car.
Clifford placed his face flat against the window. As the car drove away, he slammed his
fist on the glass. "One of these days Uncle D., one of these days..."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Butch hoisted Xaldin up by his shirt and slammed him against the wall. "Okay buster, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way, take your pick!"
"Go for the easy way, trust me," Clyde whispered.
Kermit scrunched up his face. "Butch, put him down."
Butch shrugged and let go of Xaldin, sending him falling to the ground. Kermit kneeled down in front of the alien and put a hand on his shoulder. "Excuse me, but, uh, I’m Kermit the Frog, and these are my friends, and we’re trying to get out of here, could you tell us where the nearest communications room is please?"
"I t’ink Kermit spent too much time on Sesame Street," Rizzo whispered to Pepe.
Xaldin raised his eye, questioning the frog. "I’ll tell you..." he said softly. "But you have to take me with you."
"Uncle Kermit I don’t know about this," Robin spoke up.
Flanzgo wiped her eye. "Yeah Kermit, he helped Exod," she said through her tears.
Kermit looked into Gonzo’s white eyes. "It’s up to you Gonzo."
Gonzo sighed. "It’s like you said before Kermit, we don’t have a choice."
Kermit nodded. "Alright Xaldin, you can come with us."
Xaldin smiled. "Thank you," he said as pain coursed through his bones. "But, uh, could I get a ride from one of those big fellas?"
Bobo picked up the alien and hoisted him onto his back. "There ya go."
Zongo patted his old assistant’s shoulder. "You haven’t changed a bit Rentro."
"Oh yeah I have, it’s Bobo now."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Xaldin led the group through the halls, pointing his fingers from his spot on Bobo’s back. "Hang a left up here!" he said.
"Left?" Gonzo asked.
"Right!"
"I thought you said it was left!"
"Right, it is left."
"Well what is it? Right, right?"
"Left!"
"Sideways!"
"March!"
"May!"
The group halted. "Wait a second..." Gonzo said. "What are we talking about?"
"Turn left!!" Xaldin shouted.
The others turned left and into a large room with an equally large
computer/communication system.
"Someone does know how to work this thing, right?" Piggy asked.
Zongo walked up to the controls. "Well, it is a bit different than the Gonzonian’s controls, but I think I can work it."
"Great!" Gonzo said. "But could you hurry Ed, sorry, Zongo, Onzgo’s waiting on us. I don’t know how long he can hold off Exod."
Flanzgo sulked off into the corner of the room and pulled her knees to her chest, holding them there. She sighed and began to cry again for her father.
Robin noticed this and hopped over to Flanzgo. "Hey, don’t worry, it’ll all be okay, I just know it!"
Flanzgo shook her head. "Not this time Robin."
Robin rubbed his shoulder. "Well, um...I’m still here for you," the young frog smiled.
Flanzgo smiled back. "Thank you Robin, that means a lot coming from a person I’ve only known for a few hours."
"You’re welcome," Robin grinned.
Flanzgo sighed again. "I’m just going to miss him so much...He’s all I have."
Robin sat down next to his friend. "I’ll miss him too, but ya know, you still have Gonzo
and Zongo over there, and Mr. Filmer seems nice too!"
Flanzgo shed a tear. "It’s just not the same...He was my dad...I...I just don’t know how to say goodbye to him..."
Robin perked up a bit. "Well than I know just the song to help you!"
The frog cleared his throat and began to sing. "Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye’s such a hard thing to say," Robin grabbed Flanzgo’s hand.
"Touching a hand, wondering why
It’s time for saying goodbye."
Gonzo joined his niece and Robin with his hand on Robin’s back. "Saying goodbye, why is it sad
Makes us remember the good times we’ve had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It’s time for saying goodbye."
"Don’t want to leave
But we both know
Sometimes it’s better to go," Robin chimed back in.
"Somehow I know we’ll meet again
Not sure quite where and I don’t know just when
He’s in our hearts so until then
It’s time for saying goodbye," Gonzo sang to Flanzgo who smiled and sang herself.
"Somehow I know we’ll meet again
Not sure quite where and I don’t know just when
He’s in our hearts so until then
It’s time for saying goodbye..." she sang softly. Gonzo hugged his niece and helped her up off the ground.
"I love you Flanzgo," Gonzo said.
"Thank you so much Uncle Gonzo," she cried on his shoulder. "I love you too."
Zongo shouted from the computer. "Des is on his way, we need to get to the hanger,
now!"
Gonzo, Robin and Flanzgo followed the others out of the room and down the hall, preparing to leave Onzgo forever.
He ran his hand along the alien’s chest and caressing his head. "His brother...He did this
to him..."
Death lifted his head and looked at the ceiling. "DEADLY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU GIVE THIS MUCH COMPASSION BEFORE."
Uncle Deadly closed his eyes and sat down on the floor. "I just have great sympathy for the dead," the phantom said quietly. "This...Well it’s not life, Death. Death is not life..."
"HENCE THE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR EACH THING."
"That isn’t what I meant," Deadly said, somewhat harshly. "But you wouldn’t understand Death, you just bring death, but you’ve never experienced it, you’re immortal."
Death nodded. "I CANNOT DISAGREE WITH YOU. YOU MAY SAY I DON’T PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH."
Deadly exhaled through his snout. "Please Death, don’t banish this one to the afterlife that isn’t in this universe...Let this one stay...Just as you did me..."
Death put his scythe across his lap. "I SHALL CONSIDER IT."
"And that is why no self-respecting American citizen would dare endanger the lives of creatures such as the glorious penguins," Sam Eagle preached.
"Voody voody, poonguin flip flip flip flip flip!" The Swedish Chef countered in his mock Swedish tongue.
"Yes I know they flip, that’s all they ever do. Flip!" Sam shouted.
"Are you two still arguin’ about those flippin’ penguins?" Floyd asked.
Sam gasped. "How dare you use such language in a family forum’s fan-fiction?!"
"Hey man, calm down, I just said flippin’!" Floyd argued.
Sam threw his arms in the air. "There it is AGAIN! Silence your toilet mouth mister Pepper! Please!"
"C’mon Sam it’s no big deal!"
"No big deal?! NO BIG DEAL?! It is a HUGE deal Floyd! We represent the pinnacle of American society!"
"Yaber floo dee yahoo der usa!"
"That’s U.S.A. dude."
"Uh, hey guys," Rowlf interjected. "We gotta get back to the story," he whispered.
Sam shifted his eyes towards Rowlf. "Oh, oh yes, of course."
"Good," Rowlf nodded. "Okay guys, that’s your cue!" Rowlf called off.
A knock on the theater front door made all of the Muppets turn towards it in alarm. No one moved. Another knocking. Still, no one moved.
Clifford looked around. "Fine, I’ll get it!" He walked up to the theater’s lobby, where outside the glass doors he could see a man carrying a red, square-shaped bag. The man knocked on the glass and pointed to the bag. He mouthed, "I’ve got ten pizzas here for a Mr. R.V. Truck."
Clifford took off his glasses. "Man, there ain’t nobody here, or in the world that has that name," Clifford said back.
"I can’t here you," the pizza man mouthed.
"Well we’re locked in! I can’t open the door!" Clifford shouted.
"I don’t have any more."
"Door! Door!"
"No I won’t go back to the store!"
Clifford slapped his head. "Man, just go away!"
"You have to pay!"
Clifford shook his head. "Fine if I pay will you leave?" he pulled out his wallet and put it against the glass.
The man gave a thumbs up and nodded. He put the bag of pizzas on the ground. He put both of his hands on the glass window and began to take them off, and put them back on, take them off, and put them back on.
Clifford counted how many times the man did that. "Fifteen..." he said under his breath. "150 bucks for pizzas I didn’t order?! No way am I payin’!"
"Well, I don’t know how long I can stay...I’m on a tight shift."
Clifford muttered something under his breath and pulled out two one-hundred dollar bills from his wallet. "I don’t got a fifty, can you make change?" he asked, slipping the money under the door.
"Keep the change? Alright mac, thanks! I’ll just leave the pizza out here!" the man mouthed, pocketing the money and jogging back to his delivery car.
Clifford placed his face flat against the window. As the car drove away, he slammed his
fist on the glass. "One of these days Uncle D., one of these days..."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Go for the easy way, trust me," Clyde whispered.
Kermit scrunched up his face. "Butch, put him down."
Butch shrugged and let go of Xaldin, sending him falling to the ground. Kermit kneeled down in front of the alien and put a hand on his shoulder. "Excuse me, but, uh, I’m Kermit the Frog, and these are my friends, and we’re trying to get out of here, could you tell us where the nearest communications room is please?"
"I t’ink Kermit spent too much time on Sesame Street," Rizzo whispered to Pepe.
Xaldin raised his eye, questioning the frog. "I’ll tell you..." he said softly. "But you have to take me with you."
"Uncle Kermit I don’t know about this," Robin spoke up.
Flanzgo wiped her eye. "Yeah Kermit, he helped Exod," she said through her tears.
Kermit looked into Gonzo’s white eyes. "It’s up to you Gonzo."
Gonzo sighed. "It’s like you said before Kermit, we don’t have a choice."
Kermit nodded. "Alright Xaldin, you can come with us."
Xaldin smiled. "Thank you," he said as pain coursed through his bones. "But, uh, could I get a ride from one of those big fellas?"
Bobo picked up the alien and hoisted him onto his back. "There ya go."
Zongo patted his old assistant’s shoulder. "You haven’t changed a bit Rentro."
"Oh yeah I have, it’s Bobo now."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Left?" Gonzo asked.
"Right!"
"I thought you said it was left!"
"Right, it is left."
"Well what is it? Right, right?"
"Left!"
"Sideways!"
"March!"
"May!"
The group halted. "Wait a second..." Gonzo said. "What are we talking about?"
"Turn left!!" Xaldin shouted.
The others turned left and into a large room with an equally large
computer/communication system.
"Someone does know how to work this thing, right?" Piggy asked.
Zongo walked up to the controls. "Well, it is a bit different than the Gonzonian’s controls, but I think I can work it."
"Great!" Gonzo said. "But could you hurry Ed, sorry, Zongo, Onzgo’s waiting on us. I don’t know how long he can hold off Exod."
Flanzgo sulked off into the corner of the room and pulled her knees to her chest, holding them there. She sighed and began to cry again for her father.
Robin noticed this and hopped over to Flanzgo. "Hey, don’t worry, it’ll all be okay, I just know it!"
Flanzgo shook her head. "Not this time Robin."
Robin rubbed his shoulder. "Well, um...I’m still here for you," the young frog smiled.
Flanzgo smiled back. "Thank you Robin, that means a lot coming from a person I’ve only known for a few hours."
"You’re welcome," Robin grinned.
Flanzgo sighed again. "I’m just going to miss him so much...He’s all I have."
Robin sat down next to his friend. "I’ll miss him too, but ya know, you still have Gonzo
and Zongo over there, and Mr. Filmer seems nice too!"
Flanzgo shed a tear. "It’s just not the same...He was my dad...I...I just don’t know how to say goodbye to him..."
Robin perked up a bit. "Well than I know just the song to help you!"
The frog cleared his throat and began to sing. "Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye’s such a hard thing to say," Robin grabbed Flanzgo’s hand.
"Touching a hand, wondering why
It’s time for saying goodbye."
Gonzo joined his niece and Robin with his hand on Robin’s back. "Saying goodbye, why is it sad
Makes us remember the good times we’ve had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It’s time for saying goodbye."
"Don’t want to leave
But we both know
Sometimes it’s better to go," Robin chimed back in.
"Somehow I know we’ll meet again
Not sure quite where and I don’t know just when
He’s in our hearts so until then
It’s time for saying goodbye," Gonzo sang to Flanzgo who smiled and sang herself.
"Somehow I know we’ll meet again
Not sure quite where and I don’t know just when
He’s in our hearts so until then
It’s time for saying goodbye..." she sang softly. Gonzo hugged his niece and helped her up off the ground.
"I love you Flanzgo," Gonzo said.
"Thank you so much Uncle Gonzo," she cried on his shoulder. "I love you too."
Zongo shouted from the computer. "Des is on his way, we need to get to the hanger,
now!"
Gonzo, Robin and Flanzgo followed the others out of the room and down the hall, preparing to leave Onzgo forever.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Death had sat back down in one of Uncle Deadly’s armchairs, but Deadly remained with Xander’s body.
He ran his hand along the alien’s chest and caressing his head. "His brother...He did this
to him..."
Death lifted his head and looked at the ceiling. "DEADLY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU GIVE THIS MUCH COMPASSION BEFORE."
Uncle Deadly closed his eyes and sat down on the floor. "I just have great sympathy for the dead," the phantom said quietly. "This...Well it’s not life, Death. Death is not life..."
"HENCE THE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR EACH THING."
"That isn’t what I meant," Deadly said, somewhat harshly. "But you wouldn’t understand Death, you just bring death, but you’ve never experienced it, you’re immortal."
Death nodded. "I CANNOT DISAGREE WITH YOU. YOU MAY SAY I DON’T PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH."
Deadly exhaled through his snout. "Please Death, don’t banish this one to the afterlife that isn’t in this universe...Let this one stay...Just as you did me..."
Death put his scythe across his lap. "I SHALL CONSIDER IT."
