D'snowth, I'm really sorry.. But you already heard that loads of times so I'm gonna move right on...
You know, a year ago that was me. Or well in fact half a year ago. Well that was when they told me. About the divorce. But that was not the worst thing. It was much more horrible the weeks before they told me, in fact for the past two years I'd been quite...anxious about loads of little things. Like, afriad that my mum would get run over by a truck when she went to the stores, or afriad that my dad would drive directly into a huge oak or whatever, and I think I understand now that it might have been because I was so, well you see at home - it just didn't work out the way it should...
The 3 of us were always afriad of getting into an arguement. Because they did loads of times, and it's just aweful to be the "go-between" which you always end up being as the child even though your parents say that's a lie.
I remember when they'd been argumenting and I was like... "Mum, I can feel dad is sorry" and then I went to my dad's room and said "Dad I can sense that mum is sorry" and back again and then mum said something to me, which I interpreted to dad and... I always ended up feelin it was my fault, crying in my room. And I still feel like I have the responsibility towards my parents, but I know that's wrong. And... well, it is. So don't feel it's your fault, I mean
they are grown-ups not us. And if our parents are stupid enough to stop loving each other - then that's their problem... Except we're bound to be a part of it since we are infact their children, their appendages. And thats where it all gets hard...
I still imagine sitting in a car in the backseats with my mum and dad, looking out the window at the stars, driving home from a holliday. But that will never be me again, and I guess I'll just have to accept that somehow. Even though I still blame my parents, especialy my mum for eveything which could be related to the divorce. Still that's unfair because, if they had stayed together - that would be even worse.
But anyways, D'snowth buddy I hope you're... well, no you're naturally not totally okay. But trust me, you won't die it's not gonna kill you just talk to people about it and stuff, and... be angry at your parents, cos they deserve it but just don't overact. And (the cliché line which is true!) "Remember your parents still love you.
" It will be fine, but it will be hard. If you wanna talk or anything I can PM you my msn messenger?
Hugs,
Vibs.
EDIT: Oops I just read your last post D'snowth... hey that's great! And hey just ignore whatever I wrote will ya?