Muppet fic: Once in a Lifetime

[The Count]

*Passes some artichokes to Jan. There's nothing like devouring a couple of hearts, though that doesn't necessarily make us Heartless. Hi Kim, you're welcome to join the tea party.
BTW: Given you're the NatGeo enthusiast you are, plus your mammalian theory of Fraggles as a species, do you really want to know where they'd get butter from down there in the caves?
*Squic factor up to 8.

Now if you'll hexcuse me, I've got a fic of my own to post.
Oh, and happy Easter weekend to everybody.

 

[Slackbot]

I imagine that there are species that, while not domesticated, have symbiotic relationships with Fraggles. Take the Ditzies, for example, which live on Fraggle song and light their caves in return. In my fic world thimble bugs roam around Fraggle caves eating fallen crumbs and bits of detritus and keeping the place clean, so they're welcome, sometimes even pets, rather than detested as vermin. It's not hard to imagine a mammalian cave critter that lives close to Fraggle colonies for safety from predators, in exchange producing extra milk for them.

 

[The Count]

Yeah, you're right, I was just thinking if nothing else existed they'd have to go along the lines of that scene from the Fokkerswhere they ask about milking each other.
Then again, it's plausibly that moo-bunnies could exist in underground warrens in Fraggle Rock, chewing on the lichen moss cuds to produce their buttermilk for the Fraggle colony. Or they could just pop up to Doc's apartment asking if he has some milk they could borrow.

*Moo-bunnies = think of the cow with rabbit ears Santa cobbled in Elmo Saves Christmas, but more of an organic hybrid.

 

[Slackbot]

Heh, well, I can see your logic about Fraggle milk. However, female Fraggles don't have noticeable knockers, so I assume that unless they've got a baby to feed the milk bar is empty.

(Yeah, The Storyteller is an exception. She may have glandular/hormonal issues.)

 

[The Count]

Exactly... And then we run into the same problem as oiling a snake. Who would want to do it?

 

[Slackbot]

You mean, who would want to milk a cave critter? I dunno, who would want to milk a cow? (Or goat, or llama, or whatever.)

 

[The Count]

Probably the person who loses a bracket wager and has to end up milking a cow on national TV, two different times.
*Leaves some choc chip muffins for the tea party, already in progress.

 

[Slackbot]

Janken: Thanks! I'll just get some milk for these!

[Janken goes to the theater canteen]

 

[Slackbot]

What is this? Two updates in the same month? Has the universe gone mad?!

*****

Once in a Lifetime
Part 16: Keeping the Faith
by Kim McFarland​

*****

Julie, Kate, Pepper, Duffy, Molly, and Tessie were sitting in a clump in the Muppet theater seating area, waiting for the Muppets to arrive. The filming staff were hanging out near the back as well.

The girls were keyed up about today's show. Last night had been so much fun, and now that they had been through it once they were past yesterday's nervousness. Tessie had a smart phone, and Julie and Kate shared another. All three were looking for mentions of last night's show. Tessie had found a message board where someone had posted about last night, and she was reading out relevant passages to the others.

Kate interrupted, exclaiming "Check it out!"

Julie said, "No way!"

"What?" Pepper asked, trying to peer at the screen. They were watching a video, and someone was talking, but the sound was down low enough that she couldn't tell who it was. Kate pressed a button on the side, turning up the volume. Only Kate and Julie had a good view of the screen, but the rest recognized Scooter's voice; they had heard plenty of it while Scooter was running around stage-managing the show yesterday. He was talking about being afraid and feeling there was something wrong with himself, and then his relief when he finally confessed to his friends, who accepted and supported him.

"What was wrong?" Molly asked.

"Duh," Tessie remarked, rolling her eyes.

Kate showed Molly the screen. He was talking about helping others who were afraid, but he still didn't say of what. The title was vague, "It Gets Better." The video ended, and again Molly asked, "What was he talking about?"

"He said he's gay. He sure doesn't act like it," Duffy said, sounding startled.

Julie replied, "How's a gay person supposed to act?"

Duffy flapped a wrist. "You know."

Kate and Julie looked at each other and rolled their eyes in unison. Molly asked, "Why?"

"Why what?" Kate asked.

"Why's he telling everybody about it?"

Tessie asked, "What're you talking about?"

"That he's 'like that,'" she said in a small voice. All the other girls were looking at her now, and it made her nervous.

Kate said, "You know, me and Julie are sisters."

Duffy asked, "Was one of you adopted?"

Kate answered, "No. Our mothers are 'like that'." She drew quote marks in the air with her fingers.

"No kidding!" Tessie said, startled.

"Yeah."

"Are they married?" Duffy asked.

"No, they can't marry each other here. They say they're really, really engaged," Kate answered.

Pepper asked, "Who do you call 'Mom'?"

Julie grinned. "My mommy is Kate's 'Meema,' and the other way around."

Molly wished she could close her ears.

**

The Muppets arrived at the theater and immediately started setting up. Props were put in order, and scenery was checked and moved into place so it could be brought out as soon as and in the sequence needed.

Janken went to his console and turned it on. He waited for it to boot up, then opened a browser on the main screen. He had nothing to do at his station unless changes were made to the show, so for now he had some free time. He went to a message board and checked the new posts. As expected, there was a thread about Scooter's video. He knew that Scooter had not checked on people's reactions to his video; he needed to focus on the show. Janken, however, could keep an eye on things.

Janken read the thread carefully. He saw a lot of the usual posters, and the tone was overwhelmingly supportive, with a good amount of surprise mixed in. Some posters disapproved, but they did so in a civil manner.

Miss Piggy stepped out in front of the curtains and called, "Come on back," addressing the girls, but including the unavoidable crew as well.

The girls jumped out of their seats and scampered to the exit that led backstage. Miss Piggy met them there. "Let's do your makeup."

They went up the stairs and into her dressing room. Grudgingly Miss Piggy waited for the camera crew to set up. When they were ready Molly asked, "Would you do me first?"

"All right," Piggy answered. There was not a lot to do on the kitten's face; she only darkened her eyebrows a little and put eyeliner and lipliner on so her features would be easier to see at a distance. She was finished in minutes. Molly looked in the mirror—stage makeup was so different from pageant makeup!—and said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear," Piggy said with a warm smile. Then she looked around. "Next."

Molly got out of the chair, and Pepper took her place. Molly slipped quietly out of the dressing room. Nobody noticed.

Molly walked down the stairs, then down another flight to the passage that led to backstage left. It was quiet back here. People were rushing around backstage, making all sorts of noise, but this was peaceful. And neat; they didn't keep anything at all in here. She took her time as she walked through it.

When she emerged backstage left she looked around. There was nobody here but Janken, and he was surfing the web. Hopefully he wouldn't be too busy. She went over and said, "Hi."

He startled, then looked at her. "Hi! You caught me by surprise."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Soft little cat feet, I guess."

"Yeah, must be. What's up? You look like something's on your mind."

"Um…can I ask you about something? Do you have time?"

"Sure. Pull up a chair."

The chair she had sat in yesterday was by the wall. She dragged it over, then climbed in. He asked, "So, what's up? Stage fright?"

"No." She shook her head and looked away. Eyes on the floor, she asked softly, "Is Scooter a nice person?"

Surprised, Janken asked, "Why, did something happen?"

She shook her head again. "Just, is he nice?"

"Sure. In fact, he's my best friend. Why do you ask?"

She looked up. "I saw a video today. He said…some things."

"…Oh."

"Is it for real?"

Janken asked, "What did he say in the video you saw?"

She looked at the floor again. "He said that he's a homosexual," she answered reluctantly.

"Yes, that's true," Janken answered gently. "Does it bother you?"

"People aren't supposed to be together that way," Molly said sadly. "God didn't make us like that."

Oh boy, Janken thought. This was what Fraggles called a puffball problem: if you stepped wrong it could blow up into a sticky mess. The topic was a non-issue among Fraggles; sexual orientation wasn't considered that important. But some Silly Creatures got especially silly about it. And it's especially dangerous to talk to someone else's child about certain subjects, religion chief among them. He shouldn't say anything, he knew. But, he thought as he looked at her, he was a Fraggle. When a Fraggle child asks for help, you don't brush it off because the kid's not yours; you help him or her because why wouldn't you? He'd just have to be extra careful to avoid the puffballs. He said, "What's your favorite dinner?"

Surprised by the change in topic, she answered, "Corned beef and cabbage and potatoes."

"I've never had that. What's it like?"

"Well, my mom makes it. She boils the meat and the cabbage together. The meat's really soft, so soft that I don't need a knife. I can pull it apart with my fork. And the cabbage is okay, and the potato is really nice. Baked, with sour cream and little green onions."

"That sounds great. Does your mom make a lot?"

"Not all the time. I wish she would."

"I bet. Now, my favorite food is radish. One of my uncles is a cook, and he makes radish all sorts of ways. He roasts it, and makes radish pâté, and radish salad, and soufflé, and radish cakes and pies. When I go visit, I always look forward to his radish dishes. Yum!"

"Really?" she asked skeptically. The look on her face said it all: Radish, yuck!

"Yep, radish. I'm a Fraggle, and Fraggles love radishes. Kinda hard for you to believe, huh?"

"Yeah."

Janken smiled. "You wouldn't like a meal of roast radish. And that's fine, because radish isn't the right kind of food for you. You need other nutrition, like what's in meat. But, you know what? I can't eat meat."

"Why not?"

"Fraggles are herbivores. Born vegetarians. We can't eat meat. I tried it once, and it made me sick. Not because the meat was bad, but because I just couldn't eat it. Meat isn't good for Fraggles."

"Oh. Like Kate and I can't eat chocolate?" she asked.

She was getting it so far. "Yes. Rowlf either. And it's all because how how we're made. We're different, so different things are good for us. Now," he said gently, "if our stomachs can be made differently, maybe our hearts can too."

She didn't look away this time. She wasn't afraid to talk to him. He didn't act like she was too little to understand, even when it was a hard thing to talk about. But she wasn't satisfied with this answer. She said, "Maybe."

"It's a lot to think about, isn't it?" he said with a smile. "Do you like Scooter?"

"I don't know. I did yesterday."

She was staring at the floor again. He said softly, "Do you want to like him?"

"Yes."

"Maybe that's because you already think he's a nice person. You wouldn't want to like someone who wasn't, would you?"

She shook her head. "Uh-uh."

He paused. He didn't know what to say next; he was getting too close to the puffball. She looked up and said, "Please don't tell him I asked all this."

Janken nodded. "I promise."

**

Pepper's makeup took a little longer than Molly's. It was easy to make a kitten look cute; a lizard was another matter. But Piggy did her best, and Pepper liked the effect. She relinquished her seat to Duffy and went backstage.

Her eyes lit up, metaphorically speaking, when she saw Gonzo. She had seen him yesterday, of course, but they had both been busy. Now the cameras weren't on her and he didn't look like he was doing much. She went up to him and said a bit breathlessly, "Um, Gonzo?"

"Hmm? Oh, hi," he said, and smiled.

"I'm Pepper. I just wanted to tell you that I'm a great big fan of yours. I like all the Muppets, but, um, you do stuff that nobody else does, and that's so cool!"

"Thanks. Too bad I don't have an act in this show so ya could see it in person, huh?"

"Yeah. But, um, well, I just wanted to say that. I'll leave you alone now."

"Okay, bye."

The lizard scurried off, looking as if she was ready to hyperventilate with excitement. Gonzo looked after her. Then he grinned. So he was cool? It was about time that someone else realized that, he thought, and chuckled.

**

For a while Molly sat with Janken, quietly watching him check the cameras and projectors. When it came close to the time for the show to begin she excused herself. She went back into the crossing passage. It was so nice and calm. She sat, her back against the wall, and closed her eyes.

Less than a minute later she heard fast footsteps. She looked up to see Scooter running toward her. He exclaimed, "Hey, you can't nap back here! We need to keep this clear."

"Sorry. I wasn't asleep. I was praying."

That surprised him. He paused for a moment, then said, "Here, come with me." He held out a hand to her. Reluctantly she took it.

He led her to the backstage right area and over to the dressing rooms. He showed her to one that was smaller than Miss Piggy's, with much less stuff in it. He said, "My dressing room's the only quiet place in the theater right now. You can have some quiet time here if you want."

"Thank you," she said.

"Don't mention it. Just make sure you're with Miss Piggy before the show begins. You'll hear a two-minute warning over the P.A. Gotta run!" And he smiled at her and dashed off.

She looked around uncomfortably. She didn't really want to be here. It made her feel weird. It wasn't like any other dressing room she'd been in. It was more office than dressing room, as a secondhand-looking desk was taking up a good portion of the space. Against the wall was a small clothes rack with a maroon suit, a black tuxedo, a spare green jacket, and a few pairs of shoes below that. There were framed, autographed photographs on the wall; a man wearing boxing gloves, a girl dressed as Alice in Wonderland, a bearded man leaning his head in one hand and smiling. The makeup table had no makeup, which was strange. There wasn't even a chair in front of it. Didn't everyone use a little makeup on stage? People looked weird and washed-out without it. Around the edge of the mirror, stuck into the frame, were little photographs. Many of them were of Janken, or Scooter with Janken.

She looked closer at one. It looked as if it had been taken in a photo booth. The way Janken was leaning toward him…and Scooter's arm wasn't there, a if it was behind Janken's back.

Unnerved, she sat down in the one chair, which was at the desk, and closed he eyes. Hands folded, she thought, Please, God, help me understand. We're all Your children. Did you mean for Scooter to be the way he is? If he's taking the wrong path, and Janken too, please tell them, because they don’t realize it. And guide me too. Help me understand what's right.

She opened her eyes again. They went back to the same picture, that of Scooter and Janken sitting together. They seemed to be laughing at a joke. She wondered, were they really as happy as they looked?

****

Miss Piggy, Gonzo, and Scooter are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLC. and are used without permission but with much respect and affection. Janken Fraggle, Molly, Tessie, Pepper, Julie, Kate, and Duffy are copyright © Kim McFarland (negaduck9@aol.com), as is the overall story. Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.

 

[The Count]

The universe coming to an end? Nah, that only happens if we get one Starbucks coffee shop directly across the street from another Starbucks coffee shop.

The chapter is very nicely written.
It makes me chuckle to red Pepper's fan-reaction to meeting Gonzo. Maybe she'll run into Billy and start up a friendship?
Kate and Julie as sisters... Didn't see that coming, but it's a nice little surprise. And the nickname for Kate's mom made me smile as that's the same nickname we use for my mom.
It brakes my heart what's going on with Molly. Janken's talk was appreciated, I thought he handled it deftly so as to avoid those pesky puffballs, and yet he got his main point across.
You get another smile from me at the pictures in Scooter's office/dressing room, especially the one of Brooke as Alice. And another smile for Molly's meal, we've had that some times but with ketchup and mustard instead of the sour cream as that dish used to be one of my grandfather's faves or so I've been told by Mom.

And then again, poor Molly at the end. She just makes me want to give her a soft hug to let her know it'll all be right.
Thanks for posting. *Runs out of brownies, leaves a scoop of raisinettes instead.