Muppet Fanfic: Something worth waiting for

[Smiles]

Oh Piggy *shakes head* poor Piggy. You have to go look in the mirror.
Now I want to give Piggy a hug.

MORE PLEASE!

 

[Leyla]

Better hug her now while she's in a good mood... and her reflexes are slowed by tranquilizers. I am getting increasingly embarassed about that whole scene in retrospect. Ah, the things that happen when I'm writing late at night. Sheesh.

For the record, the leopard-print undies Ruahnna mentions is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read... ever. Gosh, I'm still laughing. Ah, well, back to work!

Leyla

 

[Ruahnna]

Better hug her now while she's in a good mood... and her reflexes are slowed by tranquilizers. I am getting increasingly embarassed about that whole scene in retrospect. Ah, the things that happen when I'm writing late at night. Sheesh.

Actually, I found the scene both hilarious and oddly charming. Kermit has always been the linchpin around which the other characters orbited, and now--watching them swing around drunkenly without him--game to try, but terribly off-center--I like the little ways that they are gentle with each other. And who said writing late at night is a bad thing?

 

[The Count]

Hey Leyla... Sorry I'm late... Had to tend to my own little stary.
But I'm rully liking this... And you've handled it all well, Muppety enough that you shouldn't be embarrassed with any of it.
Nurseferatu... That's a joke I liked.
Hope for more soon... Oh, and if you're still in need of someone to post your story segments while you're away...

 

[Leyla]

Thanks muchly, Count. Comedy's a difficult thing to write, so I have a lot of respect for people like you who write it so well. So glad you're liking it! Thanks so much for, I presume, offering to help me out. That would be just lovely. I'm not sure how much writing I'll actually be able to do, but I'd be grateful if I could email you what I do get written. It's going to drive me crazy not being able to come here!

That's comforting, Ruahnna, that the scene worked for you. I write faster at night, but sometimes it gets a little strange. What a lovely way of describing all the chaos. I should just hire you to describe my writing to other people. It souns so much nicer that way.

 

[The Count]

Well... Like the saying goes... Dieing's easy, comedy's hard.
Yes, if you need someone to post what you get done of the story while away at French camp, I could help you out if you want.

Though I'm afraid you'll get taken away with the camp's saboie fair.
He's here, he's there... Saboie Fair is everywhere!
Sorry, little joke and cartoon reference.

 

[The Count]

Hey... What's that going on outside?
*Bats with picket signs.
What do we want? More story!
When do we want it? Now, or as soon as it can get posted!

They're hard to contain when they've been starving for more story like that.
So um, Leyla... Please post more soon. Even if you don't please.

 

[Leyla]

Heh, thanks Count, I needed the smile you just gave me. Thanks so much for offering to post for me. As for more story, it's not so much that I don't please, but I've been working on my other story. I'm trying to get that posted tonight, then I'll get back to this one. Feel free to look over the Behind the Scenes ficlets if you need something to tide you over.

I like One Little Star by the way, though admittedly, I don't know who half the characters are. It's very funny!

Alright, back to slaving!
Leyla

 

[The Count]

OK... Thanks, if you need help with the characters, feel free to contact me and I'll tell you.

 

[Leyla]

Thanks, don't be surprised if I take you up on that at some point, though it might not be for a while.

I'm hoping this won't be my last update before I leave, but it may be. Things are quite busy this week and I'm leaving next Sunday. Hopefully, I'll get some writing done during the time I'm away, and the wonderful Count has agreed to post it for me, since he's (I presume the gender) such a great person.

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When the first faint little intake of breath escalated into hyperventilation, Rizzo courageously volunteered to go in search of Nurse Ratchet again.

“Hang tight, buddy. Give her a minute before you call in the cavalry. Miss Piggy? Are you okay?” Say something, scream, yell, knock us flat, just do something!

Piggy stared at her reflection, breathing far too rapidly, visibly fighting for control. “Okay?” Her voice cracked and they all winced collectively. With a shuddering, slow breath, she set the fragile mirror down on the end table with exaggerated care.

There were a few more deep, unsteady breaths as Piggy drew her legs up nearly to her chin under the blanket. Staring straight ahead, she moved to wrap her arms around her knees but Fozzie smoothly stretched out and took her hand. The contact startled Piggy and effectively stopped her withdrawal. “Oh, please don’t be too upset, Miss Piggy. We’re all just so glad that you’re going to be okay.” He smiled at her with such sincerity that she turned her head away, blinking rapidly. Fozzie soundlessly stroked a thumb across her hand and little by little, Piggy’s legs began sliding away from her chest.

Rizzo and Gonzo stayed very still, both unwilling to break the intensity of Fozzie and Piggy’s wordless communication. Our stand-up bear missed out on a career in one of the helping professions, Gonzo mused, he’s got an incredible instinct for seeing into hearts.

When she finally, cautiously turned large clear eyes back to Fozzie, Piggy was steadier, more collected, even managing a faint smile. The battered pig maneuvered herself into awkwardly into a cross-legged position without letting go of his hand.

“Well, I-, uh, that’s quite... um....” She let out a quiet laugh, forced and nervous. “I really got clocked, didn’t I?”

Rizzo shook his head ruefully. “Oy, did you ever. You weren’t so much clocked as Big Ben’d.” Piggy frowned at the rat, unimpressed with his irreverance.

Gonzo touched his friend on the shoulder. “Rizzo, why don’t you go find a phone and let everyone at the theatre know Piggy’s gonna be alright. They’ll be waiting for news.”

“Ah, no problem, buddy, I’m on it.” Rizzo darted out the door, but poked his head back in a second later. “Glad you’re okay, princess. Um... yeah.” Gonzo grinned weakly at his friend’s discomfiture once Rizzo had run off again.

“So, you were all really... worried about me?” She smiled, almost shyly at the thought, but her smile faded quickly into a troubled frown.

“Oh, of course, Miss Piggy! That crash was just so scary, and we didn’t even realise what happened to you at first. It is very lucky that no one else was really hurt and that you are going to be fine. Even the doctor said it could have been so much worse!”

“Yes. I suppose we are all very fortunate.” Piggy glanced at Gonzo, then stared, eyes widening. What is she looking at? “Why, Gonzo, you’re crying.” Guilt and grief had waited long enough for expression, and Gonzo was surprised to find the tears gathering in his eyes. He hadn’t actually wept in years.

“Oh, I didn’t realise...” He wiped the droplets away automatically, but it was not so easy to get rid of the remorse. Gonzo bit his lip then took a shuddering breath. “Oh, Piggy, I, I’m just so sorry. It was all my fault. I don’t know what I would have done if you’d been....” He couldn’t continue.

Piggy looked at him hard then, searchingly, and Gonzo felt terribly exposed, but then she shrugged easily. “It’s fine, Gonzo. It’s okay.” There was no hint of insincerity in her softly spoken words, but somehow he did not feel totally absolved.

“I never meant to hurt you, or anyone.”

“I know,” she murmured, no longer really looking at him. Regret hit him all over again. In truth, it would have been easier for him if she’d been angry.

“Uh, do you want to... um, hit me or something, you know, to make it up to you?” He looked up a little hopefully. “I don’t mind.”

Piggy gathered herself from where ever her thoughts had taken her and shook her head firmly. “No, I’m not going to karate chop you. It’s fine, really.” She smiled at him with a certain firmness. “Moi am not angry with you.... buzzard beak.” That last little jab was playful and affectionate and Gonzo felt himself smile, though the tension had not entirely left him. The pale lady pig touched her bandaged head and sighed wistfully.

I’ll always have to be careful now... I’ll never be able to try anything like that again. Sadness washed over him but he dismissed it as selfish. How could he ever again take such a risk?

Fozzie valiantly tried to break the unsettled atmosphere. “Kermit will be glad too, that you’re alright, Miss Piggy.”

“No, he won’t be.” Fozzie and Gonzo straightened in surprise.

“Well, of course he-”

“No! He will not be.” Piggy sounded as determined as he had ever heard her.

The boys exchanged perplexed glances, troubled.

What is she thinking about? Inspiration struck. “Oh! Look, Piggy, if this is about that argument you had before he left-”

“Ancient history, Gonzo. This has nothing to do with that. Kermie will not be relieved, because he will not find out about this.” Her voice dropped low and took on a distinctly menacing tone. “You understand moi?”

He shook his head; chills were running down his spine. This isn’t right. “Not even a little bit. Why don’t you want Kermit to hear-”

“Look buster, I have my own reasons for not wanting you twerps broadcasting this all over the planet, so we’re going to keep this mum, got it?”

“Well, yes, but-” Fozzie looked desperately at him, but Gonzo could do nothing but shrug, baffled. Who can argue with her when she’s like this?

Piggy was not about to let the matter drop. “Promise me.”

“What?”

“Both of you, promise me you’ll keep this quiet. It’s over; it’s done. Promise me?”

Her gaze was unyielding and both Fozzie and Gonzo nodded uneasily. “I promise.”

“Promise, Miss Piggy.”

She held them with her eyes for a moment before relaxing. “Good, and Rizzo will promise when he gets back. Now how many other people know?”

“Well, it’s gotta be all over the theatre by now, Piggy.”

“And Scooter will probably call Kermit after he gets off the phone with Rizzo...”

Miss Piggy blanched and snapped to attention. “What?! We’ve got to stop that rat!”

For the second time in an hour, Piggy yanked the IV’s from her arms, but this time it was coolly deliberate and heedless of pain. She frantically kicked her way free of the sheets, but before she launched herself off the bed, Fozzie called out in alarm.

“Uh, hospital gown!”

Piggy gaped at him, evidently trying to understand why he was calling out forms of clothing. After a beat, she glanced down at her self, then at the bag Rizzo had left behind. “Oh. Right.”

Piggy had apparently recovered her sense of modesty, but she hadn’t lost her sense of urgency. With a will, she slid off the bed, pulling ferociously at the sheets until one let go from the mattress and she could wrap her self up.

“Rizzo!” In an instant she was barreling through the hospital with Gonzo and Fozzie in hot pursuit. “Rizzo! You hang on to that phone, you rat!”

Visitors, staff, and patients alike stopped to stare in shock at the Muppets zipping past them, particularly the wild-eyed, bandaged, shouting pig.

“Sorry! Sorry! Don’t mind us! She’s not usually like this!” Fozzie apologized breathlessly to the startled spectators.

“Except when she is!” Gonzo shouted behind him.

“What on earth are you doing?!” Rizzo cried as they flew past the payphone he was using.

Piggy doubled back and grabbed the receiver from him, sending him flying across the room with one smooth tilt of her hip. “Who is this?”

“Uh, it’s Rowlf. Miss Piggy, are you-”

“Oh, good, Rowlfie, have you called Kermie yet?”

“We were waiting to know how you were doing... glad you’re okay.”

“Never mind that. Just don’t call Kermie, okay? I don’t want him to know about, uh, such a trivial little accident.”

Rowlf’s hesitation was palpable. “Uh, I think he’s going to notice when the walkway is no longer in it’s usual spot.”

Piggy shook her head, though Rowlf couldn’t see it. “That’s weeks away until he gets back. Plenty of time to set things right. Rowlf, please, just, don’t call him... and don’t let anyone else call him either, understand?”

“Alright, Piggy, I won’t call him, but why-” Having got what she wanted, she promptly hung up on Rowlf.

“Hey! I was talking to him! I wanted him to check up on Masterson; he’s been cranky lately.” Rizzo protested, but his irritation faded as Piggy slumped wearily against the wall, bracing herself in a last-ditch effort to stay on her feet. “Miss Piggy?”

She gathered the sagging sheet around her and started to shiver, whether from cold or exhaustion, no one but she could say. As Gonzo and Fozzie drew closer in concern, Piggy tried to straighten up, but she had given the last bit of her considerable strength.

“Yipes!” The pallid blonde toppled over, landing squarely on Rizzo.
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