Yeah, she's gonna love what the nurses did to her alright. Those Dr. names are hilarious, Ruahnna. I've heard that in my area there's a Dr. Pain and a Nurse Killer, but I've never had the pleasure... or displeasure.
Nice long update for you, enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
“Oh, Piggy.” Fozzie removed his hat as he approached her. It was a stunning thing to see someone usually so vibrant, so ferociously glamorous in such a humble state. She was sleeping, pale and quiet under the thin hospital blanket. Her head was wrapped tightly in a bandage with only a few blond curls escaping and there were two IV’s running into her arm. One held a clear fluid, the other, blood.
Her ears had been left exposed to the air and they showed a sort of before and after picture of the effects of the accident; one ear, delicately curved, fleshy and pink and healthy; the other, still pink, but marred by an angry red line punctuated with tiny black stitches. The jagged tear, where earlier it had spoken of an impact too violent for truth, now seemed somehow more ghastly and more real since it had been treated. Shock’s sweet, mercy-filled, emotional delay was slipping past them while their courage lagged behind, still panting for breath.
Muffled sobbing reached Gonzo’s ears and he looked over. Then, he looked down. “Oh, Rizzo.” He tugged the little fellow against his leg caring nothing for the cold, wet pudding. “Easy there, tough guy. I know it looks bad, but remember, she’s going to be okay.” Rizzo shuddered against his leg, choked sobs giving way to quiet sniffles.
Fozzie moved quickly to Piggy’s side, the compassion that was so much in his nature sparking a boldness that was not. Shyly, he picked up her bare hand, the one that had not been pierced by a helping needle. “Oh,” he whispered sadly, “your hands must be cold without your gloves.” With all gentleness, he chafed her fingers lightly.
Piggy stirred at Fozzie’s touch, eyes flickering open as she inhaled slowly. “Did I miss my cue?” Her voice was clearer, stronger than it had been after the accident, but her eyes were still blearily unfocused. Gonzo would have given up “Gary,” his favorite flamethrower, to feel that it was really Miss Piggy peering out from under the swathes of fabric, instead of this sleepy-eyed stranger.
Fozzie evidently did not share Gonzo’s misgivings. His face lit up with a radiant smile, pure sunshine on this dark day. “What? You, miss a cue? Not likely.” He hesitated, thinking, and then... “You’re an excellent speller, wocka, wocka!”
“Oy, brother.”
“Fozzie, maybe this isn’t the best time.”
“Oh.” The bear cringed, and would have apologized, but Piggy was smiling gently at him.
“Fozzie, you’re silly.” She squeezed his hand with perfectly manicured fingernails. “Speller, hmm, that’s cute.”
“You must have gotten her in her sense of humour, buddy.”
“It’s the medicine... has to be.” Gonzo shook his head. “Oh, I hope it’s the medicine.”
“It is not. Piggy just recognizes a great joke when she hears it.” Fozzie replied, still beaming at her. “How’s your head?”
“I don’t know; I’ve never been there,” came the utterly serious, spacey reply.
A beat, and then Fozzie burst out laughing; his own particular sense of humour was tweaked, but there was more relief than mirth in the sound. “Ah, ah! You see? That was fuuunnnyyy!”
Piggy winced at the loud sound, and the bear quieted, amusement knocked out of him as suddenly as it had appeared.
“I’m sorry.”
She stared at him solemnly for a moment then touched his nose playfully. “That’s s’okay.” Perking up, Miss Piggy lifted her head and took in the room, acknowledging Gonzo and Rizzo with a giggle. “I see you!” She trilled brightly. “I mean, moi sees you... vous.” All three of her visitors exchanged uneasy glances. “Where’s Hilda? I have to talk to her about my dress for the show tomorrow. I- moi simply cannot have those fluffy things following me around again.”
“Uh, Miss Piggy, you’re in the hospital. Hilda’s back at the theatre, uh, she’s probably already working on your dress.” Fozzie shot a desperate glance at Gonzo, a non-verbal plea to take over the talking. Doesn’t want to fill her in about everything... I don’t blame him.
The patient, who’d been rather passive up ‘til this point, struggled into a sitting position without the slightest interest in Fozzie’s startled protests.
“But, we aren’t doing the hospital sketch this week, are we? Moi thought that was next week.” Blue shone clear as her eyes widened. “I don’t know my lines, yet... is it even written?” Alarmed, Piggy pushed down the covers, swinging her legs out quickly and setting her bare feet on the cool tile.
“Oh! Uh, Miss Piggy, your legs! Er, uh...” If Fozzie blushed any harder his head would explode from the blood pressure.
“Wow,” Rizzo murmured, getting a rat’s eye view. He swallowed hard. “That is to say-” Piggy ignored Rizzo in favour of watching after Fozzie, who had lost the ability to speak along with his composure. “What’s the matter with the him?” she asked flatly.
Gonzo moved to rescue the flustered bear. It wasn’t any more skin than she’d shown off during the Moulin Scrooge number, really... although she’d been in sheer hose then. “Piggy, this isn’t a sketch. This is a real hospital, and er, your legs are lovely, really, very, very nice, but, uh-”
The pig glanced down at her legs, then back up at Gonzo. “Shoes. Where are the shoes?”
This isn’t going well. Okay. “Here, let’s just get you back into bed.” The ... Whatever peeled back the blankets, and had bent to scoop her legs onto the bed when his spine warned him of danger.
“Pardon moi! Just what do you think you’re doing, buster?!”
“Uh, I was just-” he locked eyes with Piggy, who was suddenly very much the pig he remembered. He was overwhelmed with joy... and a sense of impending doom.
“Hands off or I’ll break ‘em off for ya!” Gonzo looked into her irate face and saw the future.... There was gonna be pain.
“Hiiiii—yaaa!”
Yep. There it is. She took a swing at him and connected with enough force to knock him over, but not to send him flying. Bruises on bruises, today and I’m gonna feel this one tomorrow. On a normal day, I’d be on cloud nine, and even as is....
It was poor Fozzie who got the worst of it. As Piggy swung, she inadvertently yanked out the IV’s, sending small flecks of blood straight into his face. It was hard to say who was more surprised. As the blonde reflexively clutched her hand, Fozzie processed what he’d been splattered with and promptly fainted. After gaping at the scene for a moment, Rizzo darted out into the hall, looking for aid.
“What... what? I have to sit down.” Piggy slid trembling to the floor beside Fozzie. Gonzo hurriedly rolled over to check on them both.
“Wake up, buddy. You’re okay.” He took firm hold of the bear’s shoulder and shook him. “You’re okay. Piggy? You alright?”
“I- I don’t know. What-” but she shook her head before she finished her question.
“You got hurt, Piggy, at the theater. It’s gonna be okay, though.” It seemed like such an empty, repetitive promise, but Gonzo knew in his head it was true, even it he couldn’t yet feel it in his heart. She touched Fozzie’s cheek, then looked at him, unspoken questions tumbling in those amazing eyes. “He’s not hurt, Piggy. Just a little… sensitive.”
Piggy reached out and caught his blue wrist, letting go almost immediately. He was startled by the contrition on her face. “I’m sorry I hit you, Gonzo.” She lowered her head. “I didn’t know what you were doing.” She turned her eyes back to Fozzie’s limp form. “I didn’t mean to scare him.”
“It’s okay.” He fiddled his hands together uneasily. “Fozzie’ll be fine and I... I deserve worse than that, Piggy, believe me, but- but, I’m glad to see you’ve still got it in you.” Gonzo smiled crookedly at her, until finally, reluctantly, she returned it.
“Ooh, I don’t feel so great.” Fozzie complained, lifting his head up wearily. Piggy and Gonzo each took a hand and helped the bear to his feet.
“Oh, your IV’s are out!” Looking none too impressed with any of them, a silver-haired nurse whom Rizzo had fetched firmly escorted Piggy back into bed. “This is gonna hurt, young Missy, but you went and did it to yourself so don’t blame me.”
Piggy watched in something approaching bewilderment as the nurse reinserted the IV’s, peppering her conversation with a litany of complaints about ill-behaved patients. Gonzo supported Fozzie as he recovered, fanning him with a journal. He was unable to repress a bit of amusement at seeing Piggy overwhelmed by the nurse’s brusque manner. Not sure which of them is lucky that Piggy’s not feeling more energetic.
“Now, stay there and rest, and no more giving me a hard time.” The nurse swept an iron look at each of them. “You three, if you disturb my patient again I’ll have you out of here so fast your heads will spin.”
Satisfied with what she saw in their faces, she turned on her sensible flats and left them.
“Boy, gal’s a charmer, isn’t she?” Piggy growled as she turned on to her side and propped her head up. “So, moi was in an accident?”
“You really don’t remember then?”
“If moi did, moi wouldn’t be asking.” Gonzo thrilled to the musical sound of her growing annoyance, before guilt again wrung his heart. Confession time.
“It... I was doing my act Piggy, with a cannon... you remember Betsy… I was stupid though; I didn’t check to see if she was loaded,” The words were spinning out of him now. “And it turns out she was, so that when she fired me, I ended up on the floor in flame, and - the cannonball ended up hitting the catwalk above... you and Hilda. It fell- and you got hit.”
“I don’t remember…. Why don’t I remember that?” Amnesia was a troubling thing.
“Well, you got hit in the head pretty hard. You wandered away, trying to take care of yourself I guess, by the time we found you, you’d lost a lot of blood. Your ear... got cut pretty badly.”
“What?” Piggy started to get out of bed again.
“No, no, please just stay there. We were so worried... and I don’t want the nurse to yell at us again.” Fozzie turned pleading eyes on Piggy in a fashion not entirely different from the look she gave Kermit on a regular basis. “Please?”
He wasn’t nearly as good at it.
Piggy was unmoved. There was steel in her voice. “I need to see what I look like. I need to see a mirror! Please!”
“You look- you look fine,” Gonzo offered, and though one could debate the truth of that statement, he meant it.
Her voice dropped to something fragile and frightened, and entirely manipulative. “Please, I need to see.”
The blue weirdo sighed. There’s still no arguing with her. “Okay, but you, you just stay there. I’ll find you a mirror.”
“Heh, buddy, she’s got you wrapped around her finger almost as bad as she gots Kermit.” Rizzo made a little mock bow as Gonzo rolled his eyes.
Piggy turned on the rat with a sly smile. “Rizzo, dear, do you think you could see what those doctor’s did with moi’s clothes... especially the shoes.” She was sweetness personified as she crooned at Rizzo who looked trapped like a ... well, you get the idea. “It wouldn’t be very good for anyone if moi doesn’t get them back.”
“Yeah, Rizzo, that wouldn’t be good at all.” Gonzo couldn’t fight the smile, though he was dreading her reaction.
“Uh, I’ll... be right back.” He turned tail.
It took almost twenty minutes for Gonzo to locate the item in question. Piggy was clearly feeling worse, losing the adrenaline from her rough awakening. She began to shiver, feeling the effects of the medicine pouring into her arm. Fozzie tucked the blanket tightly around her, wishing it were a warmer blanket. Because she asked, he gave her a more precise account of what had happened, including her good timing in pushing Hilda out of the way of the walkway.
“Now that you’re awake, we’ll need to call, Kermit.”
“You haven’t yet?” Her expression was inscrutable, and Fozzie wished Gonzo and Rizzo would hurry.
“Um, we, we didn’t want to worry him before we had any information about how you were doing.” Fozzie sat up a little straighter, hope blending curiously with wariness. “Now we can give him the good news that you’re okay!”
Piggy looked uncomfortable. “Don’t... don’t rush to call, Kermie. I’m fine.... it won’t be necessary.” Her hands touched the bandage on her head. “Where’s that weirdo with my mirror?”
On cue both Rizzo and Gonzo dashed into the room. Rizzo was struggling with a paper bag twice his size and Gonzo was dangerously brandishing an ornate little hand mirror over his head. “I’ve got it, Miss Piggy, I’ve got it! And boy it wasn’t easy!”
“Watch it, we don’t need anymore bad luck!” Rizzo had dropped the sack and was watching the mirror like it was made of the Swedish Chef’s beef Wellington.... very carefully.
“First, I started asking the nurses, and they were pretty nice until the Warden showed up.”
“The Warden?”
“Nurseferatu,” Piggy growled, trying and failing to snatch the swinging mirror.
“Right, so I had to ask around and then some nice lady named Catharine pointed me to the gift shop.”
“And then you got the mirror. Great story. Now, give it to me.”
“No, then I didn’t have a wallet to buy the mirror, so I had to do an act to raise enough money for it.”
“What happened to your wallet?”
“I left it back at theatre. Anyway, so I was reciting the script to our first movie in haiku form while juggling stethoscopes when the Warden spots me again!”
"You've broken a lot of mirrors in your lifetime, haven't you?"
Gonzo pressed on. “So, I had to stop even though I was getting to the really good part with me and Camilla.” He took a deep breath,
“Frog and bear did crash
Gonzo and Camilla flew
I was hopping mad.”
“Enough! Give me the mirror!” Piggy was one atom short of meltdown.
Still, Rizzo couldn’t resist commenting. “They probably paid you just to stop.”
“A gig’s a gig, Rizzo. Anyway, Miss Piggy, here it is.”
Gonzo slipped the looking glass into her waiting hand and watched as Piggy had her eyes truly opened.
-------------------------------------------------
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
(If you're wondering how to divy up the quote passages, I usually just use quote in square brackets, and end it with /quote, also in square brackets. That's just to be helpful. Doesn't bother me one iota how you post! I'm just happy you do! Thanks so much for that review! It's really helpful to see through your eyes how I'm portraying the characters. I'm still not 100% comfortable with writing them, but I'm getting there.
He will NEVER forget that most likely. Now...I have a bit of a twisted mind.