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theprawncracker
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*scrambles into the thread* Ahem, ahem, ahem! Mousier, madomoiselle, it is with deepest pride, and greatest pleasure that I welcome you to my new story! It just so happens that today is the one year anniversary of my posting Men Are Pigs, the first in an exciting three part trilogy. It also just so happens that today is Layla's birthday, and when I started Men Are Pigs it was also Layla's birthday! Funny how these things work out, eh? 
Anyway! If you haven't read Pre-Wedding Jitters or Men Are Pigs before stopping in to read this story, it's highly suggested that you do, or else you'll probably be highly confused...
Without further ado, here it is ladies and germs, part two of my Kermit and Miss Piggy trilogy! Enjoy!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAYLA! ! !
Weddings Are Disastrous
Kermit the Frog watched the clock eagerly. He wasn’t normally one to be excited to leave work, but today was different. Today was special.
Today his two best friends from different parts of the country and his sister were arriving to stay with the frog for the four months until his wedding. Acting as groomsmen, Croaker the Frog and Grover would help (or hinder) the organization of the event and be good company overall. Maggie the Frog, his sister, was coming as Miss Piggy (the not-so blushing bride)’s maid of honor, and to pester Kermit constantly.
Two months had passed since Kermit went on live television and pulled a ring out of his pocket, proposing to Miss Piggy, finally ready to spend the rest of his life with her (since most of his life had already been spent with her anyway).
Kermit’s nephew, Robin, was also eagerly watching the clock, excited to pick up his aunt Maggie and unofficial uncle Croaker from the train station. The young frog was atop Kermit’s desk, pacing back and forth, keeping a close eye on the time.
Fozzie Bear, Scooter, Rowlf, and The Great Gonzo walked behind the two frogs. Rowlf waved goodbye as the four Muppets made their way to Fozzie’s uncle’s Studebaker (his uncle was still hibernating; at least Fozzie hoped he was still hibernating). The bear inserted the old keys into the ignition and started the ancient engine. He shifted gears and drove off towards the airport to pick up Grover.
Kermit wondered, silently, why the four of them were needed to pick up the one of Grover. Kermit glanced at the clock again and grinned. He reached for his time card (yes, even the boss has a time card) and fiddled around with it in his hands, waiting.
Robin had stopped pacing and was precariously perched on the edge of the desk, waiting.
The big hand ticked over to the twelve and Robin jumped off the desk. Kermit scrambled for the door and punched his time card violently and stuck it back where it belonged. He reached for the wall with his spindly green finger and flipped off the lights in the Muppet Theater.
“I am not fixin’ all these lights!” shouted Clifford from the darkness.
~-~-~-~-~
“Somebody’s getting married.” Fozzie sighed happily from the front seat of the Studebaker.
“Hey, yeah,” Scooter said with a smile from the back seat. “Somebody’s getting married!”
“Whoa!” Gonzo shouted with a huge grin. “Somebody’s getting married!”
“Somebody’s getting married?” Rowlf asked. “I almost forgot,” he said with a smirk.
~-~-~-~-~
“Somebody’s getting maaaaarried!” Robin said gleefully from the front seat of Kermit’s green SUV as it drove down the road.
Kermit smirked down at his nephew. “It’s not that exciting,” he said. Robin looked back at his uncle with his own smirk. “Okay, okay,” Kermit caved. “It really is! Somebody’s getting married!”
~-~-~-~-~
Meanwhile, a few thousand feet in the air…
Big Bird looked up and down the length of the plane as furry monsters, animals, humans, and everything of every shape and size that live on Sesame Street tried to make it through the last few minutes of their flight.
Big Bird, being the six year-old eight foot two inch yellow bird who lives on Sesame Street that he is knew only one way to make this situation—a song!
“Hey everybody,” he said to the entire plane. “Somebody’s getting married!”
Grover poked his head out into the aisle. “That is right! Somebody is getting married!”
“Somebody’s getting married, Bert,” Ernie told his old pal.
“I know, Ernie, I know,” Bert said, trying to focus on his book of pigeons in foreign films.
“Somebody’s getting married!” Elmo declared.
“Oh boy,” Mr. Snuffleupagus said. “Somebody’s getting married!” The huge brown creature began to jump up and down from his special spot in the back of the plane.
The jumping Snuffleupagus caused the plane to bounce up and down.
“I don’t care if somebody is getting married,” said the captain of the plane over the PA system. “NO JUMPING ON THE PLANE!”
~-~-~-~-~
The Studebaker cruised down the road, its passengers not knowing what awaited them at the airport. Fozzie glanced at Rowlf, who was tapping his fingers on the dashboard. The bear smiled and began to sing. “Somebody get some flowers, somebody get a ring,” he sang.
The others in the car soon picked up the tune gleefully and carried on the song. “Somebody rent a chapel and a choir to sing,” Scooter added.
“Somebody get an organ to play,” Gonzo sang.
“’Cause somebody’s getting married—in four months?” sang everyone in the Studebaker.
~-~-~-~-~
“Somebody get a preacher, somebody make a date,” Kermit sang. “Wait, that’s me…”
Robin bounced along with the song and carried it on, “Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents to take,” he sang.
“Somebody reassure me that this was a good idea,” Kermit said.
“’Cause somebody’s getting married—in four months?” Robin sang.
~-~-~-~-~
“Wedding! Wedding! Pig and Froggy-baby wedding!” Grover shouted.
“Somebody get champagne,” Big Bird sang. Bob, Maria, Luis, Gordon, and Susan looked at him awkwardly.“Somebody rent a room.”
“Somebody get the lovely bride,” Prairie Dawn, Zoe, Rosita, and Abby Cadabby sang.
“And somebody get the—
Somebody get the—
Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody—“
“Somebody get these people under oath!” the captain shouted from the cockpit.
“’Cause somebody’s getting married—in four months?”
The now-musical plane made it’s descent on to the runway and pulled into the airport.
~-~-~-~-~
Fozzie, Rowlf, Scooter, and Gonzo made their way to the waiting area. They looked out the window at the planes landing. “Are they here yet? Are they here yet? Did we miss them? Are we late?” Fozzie asked incessantly.
“No, they’ll be here any minute,” Scooter said.
“Are we even at the right gate?” Gonzo asked.
~-~-~-~-~
“Isn’t this exciting?” Robin asked, pulling at his uncle’s hand as they walked through the train station.
Kermit stared straight ahead blankly. “They’ll almost be here for a year…”
“Do you think they left without us?” Robin asked, standing on his tip-toes looking through the bustling station.
“No, they’d wait until we were here,” Kermit said.
~-~-~-~-~
Miss Piggy spun around in an extravagant white wedding dress with a veil atop her head and a faux bouquet of flowers in her hands. Skeeter, Camilla, and Janice stood behind her smiling. (Skeeter was also filing her nails, trying to stay interested in something.)
Piggy twirled once more, checked how the dress made her backside look, practiced tossing the bouquet (smacking Skeeter in the face) and turned back to face herself in the mirror. She sighed happily and envisioned Kermit next to her in a finely-pressed tuxedo. “We’re finally getting married, now,” she was finally able to say after nearly thirty years.
“’Bout time,” Skeeter said, bringing the pig off cloud nine and back into reality. “So are you buying that one, or what? I’m starving, and you promised lunch.”
Piggy spun around, this time to face Skeeter with a menacing look on her face. “Vous are extremely lucky moi chose you for one of her bridesmaids,” Piggy scowled.
Skeeter rolled her eyes and continued filing her nails. “Oh, like, that reminds me,” Janice said to Piggy. “Like, Piggy, you still need one more.”
“What?” Piggy asked, turning to Janice. “Why would I need one more dress? Moi am not that excessive.”
“Oh, like, no,” Janice said. “You rully need one more bridesmaid, fer sure.”
“What?” Piggy asked, her voice getting deeper with her anger.
“Mmhm.” Janice nodded. “Like, you’ve got the three of us and Maggie, but like, Kermit’s got five groomsmen, you’re gonna need one more.”
“The sacrifices I make for this frog,” Piggy muttered. “Oh well, it can’t be to hard, right? Moi am sure there are ladies waiting in line to be moi’s bridesmaids.”
“Ooh! Ooh! I’ll do it!” shouted Bean Bunny, hopping up carrying a basket for a flower girl. “I love getting all dressed up in cute little outfits.”
Miss Piggy frowned. “We already brought you with us, rabbit, don’t push your luck,” Piggy said with a huff. She turned back to look herself over in the mirror once more. She hummed the wedding march to herself, and looked down at her empty ring finger, and imagined what it would feel like to have something on it for the rest of her life.
She assumed it would feel good.
She hopped off the pedestal she was on, dress and all (thank goodness) and walked over to Bean. “Now take off my engagement ring, you twit,” she said, pulling her ring off the bunny’s finger and putting it back on her own.
She was right, it did feel good.
Anyway! If you haven't read Pre-Wedding Jitters or Men Are Pigs before stopping in to read this story, it's highly suggested that you do, or else you'll probably be highly confused...
Without further ado, here it is ladies and germs, part two of my Kermit and Miss Piggy trilogy! Enjoy!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAYLA! ! !
Weddings Are Disastrous
Kermit the Frog watched the clock eagerly. He wasn’t normally one to be excited to leave work, but today was different. Today was special.
Today his two best friends from different parts of the country and his sister were arriving to stay with the frog for the four months until his wedding. Acting as groomsmen, Croaker the Frog and Grover would help (or hinder) the organization of the event and be good company overall. Maggie the Frog, his sister, was coming as Miss Piggy (the not-so blushing bride)’s maid of honor, and to pester Kermit constantly.
Two months had passed since Kermit went on live television and pulled a ring out of his pocket, proposing to Miss Piggy, finally ready to spend the rest of his life with her (since most of his life had already been spent with her anyway).
Kermit’s nephew, Robin, was also eagerly watching the clock, excited to pick up his aunt Maggie and unofficial uncle Croaker from the train station. The young frog was atop Kermit’s desk, pacing back and forth, keeping a close eye on the time.
Fozzie Bear, Scooter, Rowlf, and The Great Gonzo walked behind the two frogs. Rowlf waved goodbye as the four Muppets made their way to Fozzie’s uncle’s Studebaker (his uncle was still hibernating; at least Fozzie hoped he was still hibernating). The bear inserted the old keys into the ignition and started the ancient engine. He shifted gears and drove off towards the airport to pick up Grover.
Kermit wondered, silently, why the four of them were needed to pick up the one of Grover. Kermit glanced at the clock again and grinned. He reached for his time card (yes, even the boss has a time card) and fiddled around with it in his hands, waiting.
Robin had stopped pacing and was precariously perched on the edge of the desk, waiting.
The big hand ticked over to the twelve and Robin jumped off the desk. Kermit scrambled for the door and punched his time card violently and stuck it back where it belonged. He reached for the wall with his spindly green finger and flipped off the lights in the Muppet Theater.
“I am not fixin’ all these lights!” shouted Clifford from the darkness.
~-~-~-~-~
“Somebody’s getting married.” Fozzie sighed happily from the front seat of the Studebaker.
“Hey, yeah,” Scooter said with a smile from the back seat. “Somebody’s getting married!”
“Whoa!” Gonzo shouted with a huge grin. “Somebody’s getting married!”
“Somebody’s getting married?” Rowlf asked. “I almost forgot,” he said with a smirk.
~-~-~-~-~
“Somebody’s getting maaaaarried!” Robin said gleefully from the front seat of Kermit’s green SUV as it drove down the road.
Kermit smirked down at his nephew. “It’s not that exciting,” he said. Robin looked back at his uncle with his own smirk. “Okay, okay,” Kermit caved. “It really is! Somebody’s getting married!”
~-~-~-~-~
Meanwhile, a few thousand feet in the air…
Big Bird looked up and down the length of the plane as furry monsters, animals, humans, and everything of every shape and size that live on Sesame Street tried to make it through the last few minutes of their flight.
Big Bird, being the six year-old eight foot two inch yellow bird who lives on Sesame Street that he is knew only one way to make this situation—a song!
“Hey everybody,” he said to the entire plane. “Somebody’s getting married!”
Grover poked his head out into the aisle. “That is right! Somebody is getting married!”
“Somebody’s getting married, Bert,” Ernie told his old pal.
“I know, Ernie, I know,” Bert said, trying to focus on his book of pigeons in foreign films.
“Somebody’s getting married!” Elmo declared.
“Oh boy,” Mr. Snuffleupagus said. “Somebody’s getting married!” The huge brown creature began to jump up and down from his special spot in the back of the plane.
The jumping Snuffleupagus caused the plane to bounce up and down.
“I don’t care if somebody is getting married,” said the captain of the plane over the PA system. “NO JUMPING ON THE PLANE!”
~-~-~-~-~
The Studebaker cruised down the road, its passengers not knowing what awaited them at the airport. Fozzie glanced at Rowlf, who was tapping his fingers on the dashboard. The bear smiled and began to sing. “Somebody get some flowers, somebody get a ring,” he sang.
The others in the car soon picked up the tune gleefully and carried on the song. “Somebody rent a chapel and a choir to sing,” Scooter added.
“Somebody get an organ to play,” Gonzo sang.
“’Cause somebody’s getting married—in four months?” sang everyone in the Studebaker.
~-~-~-~-~
“Somebody get a preacher, somebody make a date,” Kermit sang. “Wait, that’s me…”
Robin bounced along with the song and carried it on, “Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents to take,” he sang.
“Somebody reassure me that this was a good idea,” Kermit said.
“’Cause somebody’s getting married—in four months?” Robin sang.
~-~-~-~-~
“Wedding! Wedding! Pig and Froggy-baby wedding!” Grover shouted.
“Somebody get champagne,” Big Bird sang. Bob, Maria, Luis, Gordon, and Susan looked at him awkwardly.“Somebody rent a room.”
“Somebody get the lovely bride,” Prairie Dawn, Zoe, Rosita, and Abby Cadabby sang.
“And somebody get the—
Somebody get the—
Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody—“
“Somebody get these people under oath!” the captain shouted from the cockpit.
“’Cause somebody’s getting married—in four months?”
The now-musical plane made it’s descent on to the runway and pulled into the airport.
~-~-~-~-~
Fozzie, Rowlf, Scooter, and Gonzo made their way to the waiting area. They looked out the window at the planes landing. “Are they here yet? Are they here yet? Did we miss them? Are we late?” Fozzie asked incessantly.
“No, they’ll be here any minute,” Scooter said.
“Are we even at the right gate?” Gonzo asked.
~-~-~-~-~
“Isn’t this exciting?” Robin asked, pulling at his uncle’s hand as they walked through the train station.
Kermit stared straight ahead blankly. “They’ll almost be here for a year…”
“Do you think they left without us?” Robin asked, standing on his tip-toes looking through the bustling station.
“No, they’d wait until we were here,” Kermit said.
~-~-~-~-~
Miss Piggy spun around in an extravagant white wedding dress with a veil atop her head and a faux bouquet of flowers in her hands. Skeeter, Camilla, and Janice stood behind her smiling. (Skeeter was also filing her nails, trying to stay interested in something.)
Piggy twirled once more, checked how the dress made her backside look, practiced tossing the bouquet (smacking Skeeter in the face) and turned back to face herself in the mirror. She sighed happily and envisioned Kermit next to her in a finely-pressed tuxedo. “We’re finally getting married, now,” she was finally able to say after nearly thirty years.
“’Bout time,” Skeeter said, bringing the pig off cloud nine and back into reality. “So are you buying that one, or what? I’m starving, and you promised lunch.”
Piggy spun around, this time to face Skeeter with a menacing look on her face. “Vous are extremely lucky moi chose you for one of her bridesmaids,” Piggy scowled.
Skeeter rolled her eyes and continued filing her nails. “Oh, like, that reminds me,” Janice said to Piggy. “Like, Piggy, you still need one more.”
“What?” Piggy asked, turning to Janice. “Why would I need one more dress? Moi am not that excessive.”
“Oh, like, no,” Janice said. “You rully need one more bridesmaid, fer sure.”
“What?” Piggy asked, her voice getting deeper with her anger.
“Mmhm.” Janice nodded. “Like, you’ve got the three of us and Maggie, but like, Kermit’s got five groomsmen, you’re gonna need one more.”
“The sacrifices I make for this frog,” Piggy muttered. “Oh well, it can’t be to hard, right? Moi am sure there are ladies waiting in line to be moi’s bridesmaids.”
“Ooh! Ooh! I’ll do it!” shouted Bean Bunny, hopping up carrying a basket for a flower girl. “I love getting all dressed up in cute little outfits.”
Miss Piggy frowned. “We already brought you with us, rabbit, don’t push your luck,” Piggy said with a huff. She turned back to look herself over in the mirror once more. She hummed the wedding march to herself, and looked down at her empty ring finger, and imagined what it would feel like to have something on it for the rest of her life.
She assumed it would feel good.
She hopped off the pedestal she was on, dress and all (thank goodness) and walked over to Bean. “Now take off my engagement ring, you twit,” she said, pulling her ring off the bunny’s finger and putting it back on her own.
She was right, it did feel good.
)
More pleezee!