Muppet Fan-Fiction: Weddings Are Disastrous

[AnimatedC9000]

I know how ya feel, Kermit. Really, I do.

Uh-oh. Waldo's running amuck in the household. And Scooter's trying to distance himself from Prarie Dawn. What other chaos will ensure?

All in all, another great chapter. Can't wait for more!

 

[The Count]

Loved the chapter. Too tired to reply. C'mon Scoot, she's not pestering you... If only Prawny saw the potential in at least a passing friendly crush on the part of the little girl from the Street on the man, er, gofer behind the frog...

 

[redBoobergurl]

The hilarity ensues! Another great chapter dear Prawn, now let's see some more!

 

[Muppetfan44]

Very nice chapter. A very muppety way to bring Waldo into the mix. I'm excited to see the trouble he'll surely cause before the wedding.

Poor Kermit. writer's block really does suck. I'm sure he'll find inspiration with all the craziness happening the Boarding House and the theatre before the wedding.

Definitely excited to see what happens next.

Post more soon please!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Chapter 9

Nine is half of 18.

It had been unanimously decided that everyone, from Sesame Street and the swamp, would meet at the Boarding House for dinner every night and then those who happened to also be Muppets would carpool back to the theater.

That must make for an exceptionally crowded table. ELBOW ROOM DOES NOT EXIST HERE! Everyone sits so smushed together that you'd think they were Muppet dormies hiding from vampires under Prawnie's bed. Ah, memories... I wonder if they have enough chairs.

Scooter was relieved to return to the Boarding House; maybe here he could find a way to escape the relentless desire of Prairie Dawn wanting to help him in every task he underwent.

Good luck, Scooter. Good luck. Because like most characters of the felt-and-foam variety, Prairie can be quite the determined young lady, I am sure.

Scooter walked into the Boarding House quickly, trying to ditch Prairie as they unloaded the bus. He speed-walked through the living room and caught the attention of Bean Bunny, who had arrived on the earlier carpool.

BEAN! Hi Bean!

Bean shrugged and hopped along behind the Scooter, who was still moving at an alarming pace. Scooter made his way into the kitchen and looked around in all directions for pulling open a door beneath the staircase. On the door, there was a small sign that read, “Wipe your feet, please! You may have stepped on a shrunken Beaker on your way to Muppet Labs, and we’d like to collect him if you did!”

I bet that really is a common enough occurance to merit a sign.

Scooter didn’t stop to wipe his feet as he quickly descended the stairs into Muppet Labs. “Close the door behind you, Bean!” Scooter called up to the rabbit racing to catch up with him.

<GASP!> SCOOTER! YOU DIDN'T WIPE YOUR FEEEEET! Rebel. Also-- Rabbit racing.

Bean did as he was told and continued to follow Scooter into the basement. When they both reached the bottom and entered the main lab area, Bean confronted Scooter again. “Scooter, what are you in such a hurry to hide from?” Bean asked.

“Prairie Dawn,” Scooter said blankly. “She’s been following me around all day trying to help me go-fer coffee and go-fer sandwiches—it’s driving me nuts!”

Poor Scooter. I should imagine that he WOULD be rather possessive of his go-fer-ing. And I love that he says she's TRYING to help. Makes me think that, at least from his perspective, she's been more of a hinderance.

“Oh, on the contrary, mister Scooter,” Dr. Bunsen Honeydew said, appearing from behind his work desk, and scaring the boy and his bunny. “Our psychological examinations have proven that you, and everyone else, is already crazy for living in this house!”

Can I move in?

Also-- Boy and his bunny. I like that. I like that a lot.

“Munmoubtedly,” Beaker chimed in, popping up from underneath the a large, hardly inconspicuous tarp in the back of the lab.

It's so nice to see someone giving Beaker lines that are similar to actual words. He does sometimes say things that sound kind of like words sometimes, which is so easy to forget when writing him.

“Aww,” Bean cooed. “Well I think it’s cute, Scooter.”

“Then you deal with her,” Scooter said.

<Snicker> Bitter go-fer. Or frustrated, rather. I like this side of him. I don't seem to recall seeing Scooter agitated too much.

He turned his spectacled attention to the tarp and inquired to Bunsen about the contents being hidden underneath it. “What’s underneath the tarp?” he inquired (like I said).

1.) Spectacled.
2.) I love it when you break the fourth wall with those little parentheses.
3.) <Peers at tarp>

“Oh, that?” Bunsen asked nervously. “Why, it’s nothing—nothing at all, mister Scooter, just—just my lunch!”

...Bunsen must be very hungry.

Scooter snuck a glance at an upside down clock on a wall (another failed [or, in Bunsen’s lack-of-eyes, successful] endeavor of Muppet Labs). “It’s seven pm,” Scooter said suspiciously.

Oh, no WONDER he's so hungry, then! He's eating quite late. Also... It's dinner time.
Plus! Brackets AND parentheses! Ooh that makes me happy. Also, Bunsen's lack-of-eyes.

Bunsen fiddled with his glasses nervously. “Erm, I’m going by British lunchtime,” he said.

Oh... So he's either planning for tomorrow, or lunch was an extra... Hm, let's see, Beau's six hours ahead of me and California's two hours behind me so California would be eight hours behind Britain... I think? ...So Bunsen is either exceptionally late, or planning for tomorrow.

“Mee mo, mee time!” Beaker said, pulling out a teacup.

Oh, and Beaker's backing up Honeydew. How kind.

“Ooh, do you have any crumpets?” Bean asked excitedly.

...Y'know... I'm not even sure I know what a crumpet is.

Scooter smirked. “Oh, I see now,” he said, nodding. “So you’re going to eat lunch at three in the morning, like most Brits?”

<snicker>

Bunsen scratched his bald honeydew melon shaded (and shaped) head. “Is that what time they eat lunch?” he asked.

“Ah ha!” Scooter declared. Beaker jumped in shock, causing his head to retreat inside of his lab coat. “Give it up, Honeydew, we’ve cornered you with logic,” the go-fer said, pointing an accusing finger in the direction of the bumbling scientist.

I love it when Beaker's head is in his coat. And I do so love Scooter taking a moment to play detective here.

Bunsen whimpered. “Oh, please mister Scooter, mercy! We beg of you! Don’t tell mister Kermit that we’re hiding something, please!” Bunsen begged.

<Laughs!> Oh, Scooter the Accusor must've been a terrifying sight! That, or Bunsen is a wimp. Or both. Anyway, this makes me happy.

Scooter frowned, well now he felt like a jerk. “I’m sorry Bunsen,” he said, pulling Dr. Honeydew back to his feet. “I was just kidding, of course I won’t tell. But you might want to find a better hiding place for whatever it is—just in case Kermit comes down here.”

Aww, I love that Scooter has a conscience. Really, I think that finger-pointing was a release of pent-up stress of Prairie-dodging. How kind-- and wise-- of him to advise a better hiding place.

“What is it, anyway?” Bean asked, edging closer and closer to the tarp of mystery.

“I would recommend that you refrain from touching it,” Bunsen said quickly, gliding over towards the hidden machine. “I will, however, tell you, since you’re being so merciful. Come now, Beaker, the tarp.”

Bunsen is so grateful for that show of mercy. ...And, he likes to show off. But I second the question! What IS it?

Scooter and Bean looked at each other and shrugged in unison. The two of them stood behind the desk and watched as Beaker pulled the tarp off of what looked like, in essence, a gigantic hamster wheel with an electric generator attached to it. (Oh, and the tarp fell on Beaker for comic relief.)

GIANT HAMSTER WHEEL! We used to have one of those at a park near my house and it was SO MUCH FUN but they took it down because kids kept getting hurt. Not hurt badly, just splinters and such, bu-- ...<Looks at Beaker> Hmm.

And speaking of Beaker-- (PARENTHESES! Comic relief! WAHOO!)

Scooter scratched his head. “You’re not going to clone a giant, mutant hamster, are you?” he asked Bunsen worriedly.

I wouldn't put it past them. Although they wouldn't have to do any cloning. Just get a hamster and a lifetime supply of insta-grow pills.

Bunsen chuckled. “Of course not,” Bunsen said. “That would be too normal for our taste—and besides; it would make a quite awful wedding present for mister Kermit and Miss Piggy.”

Oh. Apparently I SHOULD put it past them. ...Or... within them? If it's too normal... I think I'm confusing myself.

“So you’re giving this machine to Kermit and Miss Piggy as a wedding gift?” Scooter asked.

“I don’t think you could get Miss Piggy to exercise on that thing if you paid her,” Bean said.

Of course not! She would get splinters in her gloves!

“I think it depends on how much you paid her,” Scooter said with a laugh.

...Don't let her hear you say that, Scoot.

Bunsen giggled. “No, no, we’re not giving them the machine, we’re giving them what comes out of the machine!” he said.

Scooter leaned down towards Bean’s ear. “I bet it’s a toaster,” he whispered.

<Snicker!>

“And contrary to what you might think, this is not the Muppet Labs Toaster Generator,” Bunsen said. “We had to axe that project.”

HA! But they DID have that IDEA! ...So Scooter, how much was that bet for, eh?

“Mee mo mee!” Beaker yelped.

“Indeed, literally, it went on quite a rampage,” Bunsen said solemnly. “But what comes out of this machine, could, in essence, generate a toaster if it felt like it!”

Literally! Oy vey. <Tilts head>

“Felt like it?” Scooter asked. “This machine creates a living, thinking, feeling… thing?”

Again... I wouldn't put it past them.

“Precisely! A fully-fledged creation with its own thought process,” Bunsen said, making it sound spectacular. “It was quite a nuisance last time we created it, but I think this time we’ve worked out all the kinks.”

That can't POSSIBLY be a good sign.

“Last time?” Scooter asked.

“Kinks?” Bean asked. “That’s a cute word.”

Not as cute as-- ...<ahem> Nevermind.

“Why, yes, we’ve tried this very same experiment before, you see,” Bunsen said. “In fact, Bean Bunny, you should remember the last time we tried this!”

Bean blinked. “Me? Really? Why me?” he asked.

I have no idea.

“Me mo mow moo meel,” Beaker mumbled.

HA! Oh, Beaker WOULD know how that feels!

“Because last time this creation came to life,” Bunsen said, “it nearly caused you to run away—forever!”

Oh. Did he bring back a sandwich?

Scooter gasped as Bean’s eyes widened with excitement. “You mean… it’s Waldo?” Bean asked. “You found Waldo?”

I can NEVER find Waldo. But then again, I'm not sure I remember the last time I looked for him. We have one of those books somewhere... I don't remember much about it, but I know that on one page he's in Ancient Egypt, and-- ...Wait. Waldo?

“More or less,” Bunsen said. “You see, Beaker and I set out on an expedition to Walt Disney World about a year ago with our sights set on recovering our missing creation. We disguised ourselves by creating our Muppet Mobile Lab and roaming the park. But by the time we recovered our friend Waldo he had been through Space Mountain one too many times and was not really feeling like himself.”

“Oh no,” Bean said, “but you think you fixed him?”

...THAT Waldo? ! ? ...Well wait a second, if he can change into anything, how do they know he wasn't feeling like himself? How would WALDO even know if he was feeling like himself? HE might not even know what he FEELS like!

“Oh, yes,” Bunsen said. “And may I say, I think we’ve done a bang-up job.”

Oh no! They banged him up! Poor Waldo.

Scooter ducked habitually at the words “bang-up.” He realized nothing was going to explode and recovered himself. “Who is this Waldo guy anyway?” Scooter asked.

Ah, the habitual ducking...

“He was part of our 3D movie,” Bean said cheerfully. “Don’t’cha remember? You were there, Scooter.”

“Sort of,” Scooter said. “I wasn’t all-there back then.”

<Pats Scooter's head>

“Mee mo crazy!” Beaker blurted out.

“Well, statistically, yes,” Bunsen said. “But I am also statistically crazy, Beaker. Now what does this tell you about statistics?”

...Um... Well... In THIS instance, erm...

Beaker gulped and had to use his hands to force himself not to shout anything out at his employer.

...That.

“So, wait, let me get this straight,” Scooter said. “You’re giving Kermit and Piggy… Waldo for their wedding gift?”

“Exactly!” Bunsen said happily.

...Well, if Kermit can give Piggy a mink for Christmas...

Scooter sighed. “I suppose I have to ask why.”

“Fireworks, of course!” Bunsen said.

“I think they’ve already had enough sparks between them,” Scooter said.

<Rimshot>
So true, though. So very true.
I just had to retype that last "true" four times before I spelled it right.

Bunsen chuckled at Scooter again. “No, Waldo will turn into the fireworks after mister Kermit and Miss Piggy have been wed!”

Bean gasped. “You’re gonna blow Waldo up?” the astonished bunny asked.

<Pats Bean's head> ...<Goes to wash cute germs off of hand>

“Yes. It was Beaker’s idea, actually,” Bunsen said.

<STARES>
...Did BUNSEN just give CREDIT to BEAKER? After all that talk of SACRIFICE?

Beaker’s mouth fell open in awe of Bunsen’s acknowledgement of his idea, and then he nodded slowly.

HE DID! ! !

“And that is why Beaker will run the wheel to operate the machine,” Bunsen said.

...Oh. That explains a lot.

Beaker continued nodding, and then stopped suddenly. He sighed heavily and then nodded again.

<Hugs Beaker>

“You’re gonna run it right now?” Bean asked.

“Well of course, now that we have a captive audience we might as well do a test run,” Bunsen said.

Scooter pulled up a chair. At least he had something to do while he was avoiding Prairie Dawn.

That's the spirit, Scooter! Something to do! And, knowing Bunsen, possible harm to inflict on yourself. ...Maybe you're better off with Prairie.

Bean sat down on the floor with his legs crossed and waited for the show to start. Beaker moved, his entire body shaking, to the over-size hamster wheel and took his place. He bent down and tied his shoe, and then nodded to Bunsen.

<Deep breath> <bouncy>

Dr. Honeydew moved over to the generator connected to the wheel and started turning a smaller wheel on the side and flipped a myriad of switches. The hamster wheel began to turn slowly and Beaker began to run. The wheel slowly picked up speed and so did the Beaker. “You’re doing great, Beakie!” Bunsen called to his assistant as he monitored the generator while flipping the necessary switches and pushing the proper buttons.

No, no, he CAN'T be doing it right. He hasn't hurt himself! ...Yet.

Electricity started to generate above the wheel and connected to a wire, powering the generator. Cogs began to whirl inside of it and the wheel was, by now, moving faster than Beaker could keep up with. The hapless (and helpless) assistant tripped over his own two feet and was now being carried around and around and around and… you get the idea.

I can FEEL the excitement building. Like I'm sitting in the room, right next to Scooter, watching ALL of this and just... wow. There is electricity in the air. <Is shocked> See?

Suddenly, lights on the machine started to turn on. Yellow, green, red, blue—they all illuminated the dimly lit basement. Even more suddenly, a giant open-ended pipe extended slowly out of the top of the generator.

<Leans forward> <stares> <rubs hands together>

Scooter was now on the edge of the chair he’d pulled up.

Me too me too! Except that I'm on a ball and it doesn't have an edge.

Lighting started swirling around the new pipe and a glowing aura began emitting from it.

Ooooh, swirly... <stares> Glowing... I'm getting diiiizzy...

Bean was shaking excitedly, nearly jumping up to the ceiling.

Hold still, Bean! You're not helping my dizziness!

The aura coming from the pipe suddenly grew larger and much brighter. It shot up to the ceiling and bounced off of it, flooding the room with a blinding light.

AHHH! <gasps> Sorry. Surprised me. <STARES> <looks a bit like a deer in headlights> <except... human> <How did they describe this look before headlights?

Scooter and Bean shielded their eyes as the light exploded into the basement. Silently, Bean wondered if this would affect his cute, little bunny tan.

HA! TAN! <Continues staring a la dear in headlights>

As the light slowly settled, Scooter moved his hand back down to his side. He looked forward when he could see again, and what he could see was not at all as spectacular as he would’ve expected.

Well, I'm sorry you're disappointed, Scooter, but WHAT DO YOU SEE? ...Did it work?

It was a tiny—tiny blue… thing. The creature looked like a cross between a boat and a clown. It had a bouncy red top hat and a rather long red nose. The blue thing grinned a huge toothy grin at Scooter. “Hi there,” it said in an overly perky overtone. “I’m Waldo. Waldo C. Graphic. The spirit of 3D!” The little 3D bug thing laughed and then proceeded to fly manically around the room.

IT WORKED! IT WORKED! MARK THE DATE! BUNSEN'S INVENTION WORKED!

Bunsen laughed giddily and jumped up and down. “It worked, Beakie, it actually worked!” he said.

Oh look! He's as shocked as we are!

Beaker didn’t honestly care, however, considering he was still spinning around in the wheel, wishing he hadn’t eaten those hot wings for lunch (the real lunch, not the British lunch at three am).

<Hugs Beaker-- carefully, so as not to get caught in machine> Again, the (parentheses.) They totally make my day, especially in this chapter.

“Waldo!” Bean shouted gleefully. “Welcome back, pal!”

Waldo zipped over to Bean and gasped. “Bean! My little bunny buddy!” he said. “If I had arms, I’d give ya a hug! Since, I don’t, I’ll just give you a hand!”

Why not just grow arms?

The little blue creature spun around at lighting-fast speed and had suddenly morphed into a hand. With fingers (and a thumb). “Gimme five, pal!” the hand said to Bean.

Bean laughed and whipped his hand out to smack Waldo’s.

Oh. That works too. (That works, too!)

Scooter’s mouth was completely open. If there was a fly in the basement, it would’ve certainly flown into it. (However, the only fly in the basement was completely blinded by the light of Waldo’s emergence.)

(More parentheses!) I love the fly commentary. (Poor blind fly.)

“Take a picture, four-eyes, it’ll last longer,” Waldo said. He then morphed instantly into a camera and flashed a picture of Scooter.

“I… I think it’s dinner time,” Scooter said after a second.

HAHA!

“Ooh, dinner?” Waldo asked. “Great, I’m starved!”

“Oh, I don’t think so, Waldo,” Bunsen said. “You have to be kept a surprise for mister Kermit.”

Ooh, I sense trouble.

“What?” Waldo asked, appalled. “That’s boring! C’mon Honeydew, let me fly free! I’m a caged bird!” Upon saying that, Waldo transformed into a canary in a cage.

I should imagine that Waldo would be fun to write, what with the constant changing. ...But also... That much more challenging for it.

“Yes, well, I’ve heard that caged birds have lovely singing voices,” Bunsen said. “I do wonder why, though…”

Wonder what? Why the caged bird sings? Hmmmmmm.

Beaker recovered from his whirling experience and was now approaching Waldo with a plastic hamster ball.

<Snicker> Good luck with that, Beaker.

“What is it with that guy and hamsters?” Waldo asked, darting around the basement.

He relates to them very well. Hamsters... lab rats... guinea pigs... You know.

Scooter stood up from his chair and shook his head. “Well, good luck guys,” he said. “I’m going to eat dinner.”

Wise time to bow out, methinks.

Ah, and time's up! Off I go! I shall be back with more to say! HUZZAH! ...Odd mood. Odd, odd mood.

 

[The Count]

Huh. And to think, she was almost finished with the chapter. Let that be a lesson... Bow down to the master of long fanfic reviews, Layla! *Carts off a passed-out Toga over to wherever it is we wait for Prawnie's updates.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Oh, good. Ed has carted me off since I left, so now I can continue without double-posting.

Now where was I...

Scooter jogged up the stairs like kids tend to do and opened the door at the top.

Like kids tend to do. I like that. Thank you for acknowledging Scooter's (at least relative) youth.

“Scooter—no!” Bunsen shouted.

Too late! TROUBLE COMMENCES!

Waldo zipped right out the crack in the door. “Suckers!” he called back as he zoomed off through the rest of the Muppet Boarding House.

"Suckers!" That cracks me up. Ohhhhhh, what MISCHIEF shall ensue? !

Scooter sighed as Bean ran up, laughing, to chase after Waldo. “It’s gonna be a long, long four months,” the go-fer said.

You said it, Scoot. And Bean is laughing. Ah, yes. Life in the MBH.

~-~-~-~-~

I just like these guys. Looks nice with the dashes between the tildas. I usually just use spaces between the tildas, which really annoys spellcheck.

Kermit smiled as he climbed the stairs with a plate of food in his hand. He listened with joy as his friends and family from all walks of life (and all species) intermingled at the dinner table. He was extremely glad, for the first time since they’ve been there, that they were here. It was much easier to slip away from an extremely crowded dinner table than it was from the normally only very crowded dinner table.

No one would ever describe the Muppet Boarding House, with all of its occupants, as empty... Unless they had just seen it with all of its occupants, all of Sesame Street, and a good chunk of the swamp. It's all relative, even though most of them are not each other's relatives. They are, however, family. Complicated business.

Kermit slipped into his bedroom quietly and sat in front of his desk, putting his plate to the side. He cracked his knuckles and opened his lime green laptop. He turned the computer on and opened up his Word Processor.

Come now, Kermit, don't you know better than to eat by the computer? You get all sorts of crumbs in the keyboard. I know this from personal experience.

The frog’s spindly green fingers flipped down on the keys wildly as the titled his new project and put his name on the top. It looked something like this:

I LOVE the finger description. One, it matches his fingers. Two, it really conveys his excitement about the movie. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Three, it reminds me of when I get to typing really fast and start to feel like my fingers are just tap-dancing!

THE NEW MUPPET MOVIE
Written by Kermit the Frog and
Jason Segel
Directed by Kermit the Frog and
Nick Stoller​

It looks fantastic.

Kermit stared at the computer screen.

I do that a lot.

He reached over and took a drink out of his glass of water.

Staying well hydrated, I see! Very good. I should grab my water bottle when I'm done with this.

He stared at the computer screen.

Yes, Kermit. It's still there.

He reached over to his plate and took a bite of a French fry.

I wonder how salty it is. ...I am in an odd mood.

He stared at the computer screen.

I see.

“This is gonna take longer than I thought,” Kermit said with a sigh.

That's what I said about this review!

All in all, a LOVELY chapter, my dear Half! And I do so look forward to more. Therefore: MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 10

Kermit jumped from his desk chair as a light knocking on his door woke him from his accidental nap. He scrambled to cover up his computer, “Who is it?” Kermit asked, his voice cracking from his recent awakening.

“Do vous know anyone in this house, besides moi, who knocks?” Miss Piggy asked from the other side of the door.

Kermit smiled and shut his laptop. “I didn’t realize you would knock,” he said. “The door being closed has never provoked you to knock before.”

“I’ll knock ya out if you don’t let me in, frog,” Piggy said violently.

Kermit got up to go open the door for his fiancé. “Huh, I thought Piggy was at the door, not Fozzie,” he said.

Kermit pulled open the door, revealing Miss Piggy standing perfectly in the doorway, waiting for her frog. “So I have a teensy head cold, sue me,” Piggy said.

Kermit scrunched up his face. “I was talking about the pun, not your voice.”

“Are you sure you’re not Fozzie, dear?” Piggy asked. “Because that joke is incredibly suspicious…”

Kermit smirked. “If I was Fozzie, would I do this?” Kermit lunged forward and planted a large one (no, not a begonia) upon Piggy’s luscious lips.

The shaken sow released a smirk of her own. “Moi would certainly hope not,” Miss Piggy said, returning the kiss to Kermit multiple times on his cheek.

Kermit put his hands on Piggy’s hips and smiled up at her big, blue eyes. “Let’s dance,” he said soothingly. “I need to stretch the old frog legs.”

“Kermie, mon cher, you silly frog,” Miss Piggy swooned. “There’s no music.”

The frog laid his head on Piggy’s shoulder and sighed happily. “Your breathing is all the music I will ever need, Miss Piggy,” he said softly.

Miss Piggy caught her breath and went through a large amount of excited gasps before recovering from the frog’s sweet nothing (but, boy, was it ever a sweet somethin’).

“Mm, techno,” Kermit hummed quietly.

“I’m going to need to change shoes for that genre, mon capitan,” Piggy said giddily.

“Why do you need shoes?” Kermit asked, rubbing his foot on Piggy’s calf (piglet?). “Barefoot dancing is so refreshing.”

Piggy shuddered excitedly when Kermit’s flipper caressed her leg. She gritted her teeth in sheer excitement as she wrapped her gloved hand around her frog’s back. “That tickles,” she said fiercely, pulling Kermit against her, making him double back in surprise.

Kermit’s face quickly went from shock to sensuality. “These spindly fingers are good for more than just plucking banjo strings, you know,” Kermit said.

“What does that have to do with—”

Kermit moved his hands up from Piggy’s hips to her waist and began tickling her intensely. Piggy started laughing hysterically and slipped on the floor (it was very moist, due to the fact that it was a frog’s room) and Kermit followed her down.

Miss Piggy, being the strong, brazen, independent woman she was, independently grabbed Kermit and flipped him from being on top of her tickling her, to being underneath of her, being tickled.

Kermit flailed his arms around and tried to keep breathing—and Piggy continued tickling.

“W—Wai—Wait!” Kermit breathed out.

Piggy giggled lightly and released the frog from her flailing fingers upon his chest. “Make it quick,” she said. “I’m on a rampage.”

Kermit lifted his head off the ground and pressed his lips against Piggy’s. He pulled back slowly, and then reached up to push a strand of her golden hair out of Miss Piggy’s eyes. “I give up,” the frog whispered. “I could never beat you.”

Piggy smiled. “Hmm,” she purred lightly, “well that is a problem.”

“Please tell me why,” Kermit begged (she loves it when he begs).

“Because moi, mon froggy, am not done with vous,” Piggy said, leaning her face in closer.

“Oh, that’s good, then,” Kermit said, “because I’m just getting started.”

Piggy sighed happily and giggled. “Let’s go to Vegas—just get married now,” she said. “No cameras, no video, no Aunt Marge…”

Kermit smirked. “Piggy, honey, I think that would just add more of each of those things to our lives.”

Piggy sighed again, and let herself fall on her back next to Kermit. She stared up at the ceiling and the frog did the same. “We are really going to get married though, aren’t we, Kermie?” Piggy asked seriously.

Kermit continued to stare up at the ceiling while he mindlessly reached his hand down and grasped Piggy’s with in it. “Nothing in the world would keep me from marrying you, Miss Piggy,” he said. “Nothing in the world.”

Miss Piggy smiled victoriously. “Not even some hot supermodel with her own reality television show?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“Piggy, you’re super enough for me,” Kermit said.

Piggy leaned over on her elbow. “Funny, I thought cheese fests would be in Wisconsin,” she said.

Kermit shrugged on the ground. “I like to milk situations to the best of my ability,” he said.

“Gouda to know,” Piggy groaned.

“Did I hear somet’in’ about cheese?” a thick Brooklyn accented voice asked from the hallway.

Kermit and Piggy rolled over onto their respective chests and looked up at Rizzo and Pepe standing in the hall, staring down at them.

“Jou know Ritzo,” Pepe said. “I t’ink our stunning good looks have floored them, hokay.”

“Not exactly you,” Kermit said. “Did you guys need something?”

“Nah,” Rizzo said. “Just enjoyin’ da show.”

“Si, si, we’re t’inking of selling tickets for de next one, hokay,” Pepe said.

Kermit and Piggy turned to look at each other, and Kermit motioned towards the door with his head. Piggy nodded and reached her hand forward and wrapped it around the door. “Adios, mon vermin,” she said gruffly, slamming the door.

“Now,” Kermit said, “where were we?”

~-~-~-~-~

“D’is no es fair!” Pepe shouted vehemently. “We were here first, hokay, why, why they have to close de door?”

Rizzo rolled his eyes. “Don’t act like you really wanted to see that,” the rat said, pointing at the closed door in front of him. “Whatevah’s happenin’ in d’ere is nothin’ we wanna see.”

Pepe grumbled. “Hokay, fine,” he said, “but now what are we going to do?”

“Well my friend,” Rizzo said. “Let me introduce you to the wondah of midnight snacks.”

“But es only ten t’irty,” Pepe said.

Rizzo shrugged. “The time frames are pretty flexible.”

The two smaller Muppets made their way to the kitchen. The Boarding House wasn’t nearly as crowded as it had been earlier in the evening; most of the guests had already taken the bus back to the theater for the night.

In fact, nearly all of them had. The only people (that term used loosely) left in the Boarding House were Pepe, Rizzo, Scooter, Rowlf, and Cookie Monster (who wouldn’t leave the kitchen). Along with, of course, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Bob, Gordon, Susan, Maria, and Luis, who all, except Kermit, were spending the night in the house.

Pepe and Rizzo made their way into the kitchen to find Cookie Monster dragging a chair along the tiled floor. The two looked at each other and Rizzo rolled his eyes and walked over to the blue monster.

“Hey d’ere big fella,” the rat said, “whatcha up to?”

Cookie Monster sat the chair down and wiped his brow. “Oh, about three or four boxes of cookies,” he said. “Me trying to reach ‘nother box in cabinet way up high.”

Rizzo nodded. “I see, I see,” he said. “A valiant effaht my friend, but yer goin’ about it all wrong.”

Cookie Monster gave a puzzled look in Rizzo’s direction. “Me am?”

“He es?” Pepe asked.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Rizzo said. The rat made use of the lower cabinets and drawers in the kitchen and climbed up on the countertop while Pepe and Cookie Monster watched. Rizzo jumped onto a window sill and grabbed the pull-string for the blinds with one hand, and one of the blinds with the other. “Watch d’is,” he said.

He yanked down hard on the string, lifting the blinds up. He continued to pull down on the string as he rose up along the blinds. When he reached the top of the window he reached his leg out to open the higher cabinet, revealing a box of cookies—a veritable Holy Grail to the ravenous rat and his cookie craving compadre.

Cookie Monster gasped hungrily. “Cookies!” he shouted.

Rizzo shushed the shouting monster. “Quiet, will ya?” he hissed. “Ya want ‘em to find out we’re raidin’ the cookie jar?”

“It no in jar,” Cookie Monster said, “that cookie in box!”

“Si, si,” Pepe said, nodding, “es definitely a box, hokay.”

Rizzo rolled his eyes and climbed over to the cabinet. He smacked his lips excitedly and reached forward for the box.

“Whoa! Hold on a second!” the box of cookies shouted as its eyes sprang open.

Rizzo screamed and tried to keep his balance. He grabbed onto one of the higher shelves inside the cabinet and pulled himself back up. “What the—alright, who bought the talking cookies again?” he asked.

“Where,” Pepe said, “where could jou buy talking cookies, hokay? It just doesn’t make de senses!”

Cookie Monster looked down at Pepe—his googly eyes rattling around. “Why make sense when it more tasty to make cookies?” he asked.

“I don’t t’ink d’is es how it goes, hokay,” Pepe said.

“Alright cookies, spill,” Rizzo said to the box.

“No!” Cookie Monster shouted. “No spill! Me no have time to work five second rule to all cookies!”

The box of cookies quickly morphed into Waldo. “I’m not really a box of cookies!” Waldo whispered.

“I can see d’at,” Rizzo said.

“I’m hiding here from that lunatic scientist and his vacuum cleaner!” Waldo said frantically.

“D’at sucks, hokay,” Pepe said.

“I know how d’at feels,” Rizzo said. “Ya try to take a nap in the middle of a rug and ya nearly lose yer tail, trust me!”

Cookie grumbled quietly. “Does this mean there no cookies?” he asked.

“Sorry pal,” Waldo said, “that’s just the way the cookie crumbles!” he said, turning into a cookie and then subsequently crumbling and turning back into himself, laughing hysterically.

Rizzo snickered. “What are you anyway?” he asked.

Waldo spun around quickly to face the rat. “Waldo C. Graphic, the spirit of 3D!” Waldo declared.

“But I’m not even wearing de glasses, hokay!” Pepe said.

“That’s the beauty of it!” Waldo said happily.

“Can you turn into cookie again?” Cookie Monster asked.

“So yer hidin’ from Bunsen, eh?” Rizzo asked. “Well, ya don’t have ta worry; he and Beaker went back to the t’eater for da night.”

Waldo let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. Wait a second, you say you have a theater?” he asked.

“Si, with curtains and everyt’ing, hokay,” Pepe said.

“And tasty seat cushions!” Cookie Monster declared.

Waldo suddenly morphed into a light bulb and lit up. Rizzo tilted his head to the side. “Got a problem d’ere, buddy?” he asked.

Waldo realized he had morphed and quickly changed back. “Uh, no, no,” he said frantically. “Just, uh, trying to light up the room.”

“Right,” Rizzo said.

“Hey guys!” Scooter’s voice called. “The bus is back! This is the last route to the theater tonight! All Muppets move out!”

“All Muppets?” Piggy’s voice growled down.

Scooter gulped. “All but the happy bride!” he recovered.

“That’s better,” she said.

“Well, d’ats our ride,” Rizzo said, hopping down from the cabinet. “See ya later Waldo.”

“Si, good luck not getting sucked up,” Pepe said.

“Thanks guys, bye!” Waldo said, waving. When the three Muppets had left the kitchen he looked around cautiously. “Well… I am technically a Muppet!” he said, morphing into a smaller version of himself and darting into the hood of Pepe’s jacket. “This is gonna be fun!” Waldo snickered quietly.

 

[TogetherAgain]

I reply tomorrow when I no have work in nine hours and lack of sleep... But me planning quotes, so no worries! <HUGS!> Night m'dear Prawn!

 

[Muppetfan44]

Love It

I absolutely loved that chapter! The whole playfulness between Kermit and Piggy was very nice, and i'm very curious to see what mischief Waldo has planned.

Great job, post more soon!