Muppet Fan-Fiction - Men Are Pigs

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 21

Aunt Marge scooted closer to Sam, who moved farther away, feeling most uncomfortable. "Um, excuse me madame... but this is making me feel rather uncomfortable..."

"Tell me I’m the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen!" Marge said, flinging herself at Sam.

Sam distinctly moved out of the way of the flinging frog. "I can not do that."

"Why not? Tell auntie she’s pretty!" Aunt Marge said.

"Yes, you are, my puce... peach..." Sam said. "But not the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Aunt Marge frowned and sat back down. "What is then?"

Sam stood up straight and placed his right wing over his heart. "Old Glory herself."

"There’s another woman?" Aunt Marge shouted. "Named Gloria?"

"The American flag, my dear," Sam said.

"...Odd," Aunt Marge said. "Yet normal."

"Mm, that is what I attempt to go for, yes," Sam said.

"Oh, Sammy," Aunt Marge swooned. "Take me home."

"Ooh, yes, you’re right!" Sam said. "If we hurry, we may still catch the end of the Congress meeting on C-SPAN!"

"You really know how to win over a frog, Sammy," Aunt Marge said.

<~><~><~><~><~>

Kermit crossed his legs and smiled up at the stage from his seat in the front row. Rowlf’s paws began to roll across the piano keys.

Miss Piggy bumped into Kermit looking for an empty seat, not realizing it was him, and him not realizing it was her. "Oh, excuse moi," Piggy said.

"Oh sorry miss," Kermit said.

Their eyes met.

"Kermit?" Miss Piggy whispered.

"Hi Piggy," Kermit said.

Piggy’s bottom lip quivered and she ran off. Kermit watched her go into the darkness of the theater.

On stage, Clifford, Gonzo, and Floyd moved to the front of the stage, the light filling a small circle around them. Each of them was decked out in a finely pressed tuxedo, and Clifford even took his sunglasses off.

"This one’s for you, Camilla," Gonzo said out into the audience.

"And you, Skeeter," Clifford said.

"And Janice," Floyd added.

"We have been gay
Going our way
Life has been beautiful
We have been young," Gonzo sang.

"After you’ve gone
Life will go on," Clifford sang.

"Like an old song
We have sung," Floyd sang.

Rowlf pressed down harder on the keys, moving into a brief musical bridge.
Camilla, Janice, and Skeeter all sat out in the audience, dumbfounded, tears twinkling in each of their eyes.

"When I grow too old to dream
I’ll have you to remember," all three of them harmonized.
"When I grow too old to dream
Your love will live in my heart."

"So kiss me
My sweet," Gonzo sang.
"And so let us part."

"And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart," the three of them sang.

Floyd pulled his guitar out of nowhere and moved to the front, strumming it, changing the melody to a different song.

"No one to talk with
All by myself," Floyd sang.
"No one to walk with
But I’m happy on the shelf.

"Ain’t misbehavin’
Savin’ my love for you."

Zoot made his way on stage with the saxophone, adding back up for Floyd. "Thanks, man," Floyd whispered.

"I know for certain
The one I love
I’m through with flirtin’
It’s just you I’m dreamin’ of.

"Ain’t misbehavin’
Savin’ my love for you," Floyd sang.

"Black Jack Horner, in the corner
Don’t go nowhere, what do I care?
Your kisses are worth waitin’ for
Believe me.

"Don’t stay out late
Don’t care to go
I’m home about eight
Just me and my radio.

"Ain’t misbehavin’
Savin’ my love for you."

Floyd moved back, letting Clifford move into the spotlight, as Rowlf resumed the piano.

"I’ve been livn’ with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleepin’ with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on," Clifford sang.

"I’ve been hidin’ all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I need ‘em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind.

"All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love.

Floyd picked up again with the guitar, strumming along with Rowlf on the piano, both of them picking up tempo.

"I’ve been watchin’ but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searchin’ but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s gotta be somethin’ for my soul somewhere.

"I’ve been lookin’ for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions.

"All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back to love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hopin’ you’ll be there for me in the end!" Clifford put all his passion into the last note.

With the tempo still in the last notes of the song, Clifford and Gonzo swapped places. This time, Animal began to drum along with Gonzo’s singing.

"I’m strange and you’re strange
Don’t want you to change
No way," Gonzo sang.

"How can I explain
Flyin’ to the sun without a plane
When you’re here.

"And don’t you worry ‘bout me babe
‘Cause I’m right here
For you to say.

"Hope you know you inspire me
You’re a flower and I’m a bee
I need you.

"All this you do for free
Gimme hope and I can see
You’re so true.

"And don’t you worry ‘bout me, babe
‘Cause I’m right there
For you to say."

The music began to slow down again, and Floyd and Clifford moved upstage on either side of Gonzo, Floyd still strumming the guitar, Rowlf still ticking the ivories, and Animal still banging the drums.

"Yes, when we grow too old to dream
We’ll have you to remember," all three of them sang, coming to the closing of the song.

"And when we grow too old to dream
Your kisses will live in our hearts.
"Oh, when we grow too old to dream
Your love... will live in... our hearts."

Silence.

Dead silence.

Not a sound was made throughout the theater. Clifford, Gonzo, and Floyd stood on the stage, looking out into the audience, waiting.

Little did they know, the audience was waiting too.

Waiting for Skeeter, Camilla, and Janice to react.

Finally, Skeeter shot out of her seat. "Clifford, take me back!" she shouted, tears flying from her eyes.

"Brawk bawk byuck bawk brawk bawk bawk!" Camilla clucked loudly.

"Like, Floyd, please!" Janice shouted.

The three of them took off out of their seats and ran up to the stage. The audience moved them along with a standing ovation as they passed through each row. When they reached the band pit, Rowlf helped each of them up into it, and Dr. Teeth assisted them onto the stage.

Each girl ran into their respective man’s arms. "Oh you did it," Skeeter said, pecking Clifford on the cheek. "You did it."

Gonzo looked around at the couples, his arm wrapped around Camilla. "We did it!" he shouted wildly.

"Thanks, ya’ll!" Clifford said to the audience. "We’ll see ya’ll next time on ‘The Muppet Show’! Heh, heh!"

"Whoo! Whoo!" Waldorf called from the balcony.

"Yeah! More! More!" Statler said.

"What are we doing?" Waldorf asked.

"I think we must be sick," Statler said.

"Oh no," Waldorf said. "We’ve caught the love sickness!"

Kermit may have been the only person in the theater left sitting. Miss Piggy had successfully floored him. Again.

 

[The Count]

So um... Is that the end of Act I? Are we on an intermission impossible now?
If so... Good, gives one the chance to stretch the ol' legs. But I'll be the one doing the stretching!
*Evil cackle while he stretches Prawny's legs to match Gonzo's basketball-playing dream limb length.

Bravo Dr. Prawnidew! Encore! We must have more!
Would say more, but I feel that tricksome trio of Layla, Lisa and Nyssa will do so in another massive post.

So before they get the chance... Thank you, and we hope to see you for the next thrilling installment of Prawny's fanfic trilogy.
*End music plays from the trumpet as I devour a plate of cookies with milk

 

[theprawncracker]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You think this is the end of the story? Oh, ho, ho! No, no, my fiend! This is mearly the climax! There's more to come! Four more chapters to be exact! Just you wait and see what comes next...

 

[The Count]

Well... No, I know this isn't the end of the story there are still two more parts to complete this as a trilogy. But since we were talking closing number getting posted... And we were all raving and left reeling after that randomnawesome review... Since I didn't see a "The End" there, I thought it'd be better if I asked.

But yaey! More of Part 1! So please post it so we can read it!

 

[theprawncracker]

Hehe! I will post more... just not tonight, for I am exhausted, and I'm still waiting for a review from three girls I know. (No, not Janice, Skeeter, and Camilla. )

 

[redBoobergurl]

Awesomeness! I loved the song, it was so sweet and the silence at the end was golden (he he, silence is golden) and I love how the girls practically flung themselves back at the guys. But then there's poor Kermit, hopefully he and Piggy are next to be reunited. Four more chapters you say? I say, bring em on!

 

[TogetherAgain]

So, unfortunately, by the time we had finished our review last night, MC was down, and we had to copy/paste the whole thing into a word document, and then onto back-up MC, and now we'll post it here for real. And by the way, in case anyone is wondering, this is thirteen pages in Word. So I guess we've got a lot to say.

Nyssa: Either that, or it's an exceptionally long chapter. I don't know.

Chapter 21

Aunt Marge scooted closer to Sam, who moved farther away, feeling most uncomfortable. "Um, excuse me madame... but this is making me feel rather uncomfortable..."

Leyla: <giggles> I like that. That's a very Sam thing to say. He may be dating, but he's still Sam.
Lisa: He IS still Sam. Which is good. I'd be worried if he turned into, like... Gonzo, or something.
Leyla: Gonzo IS a something.
Lisa: No, he's a whatever.
Leyla: I stand corrected.
Lisa: You're sitting.
Leyla: <laughs> I sit corrected. I don't sit correctLY, but I sit corrected.

"Tell me I’m the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen!" Marge said, flinging herself at Sam.

Leyla: I've gotta say that Marge flinging herself at ANYONE is a sight to see, eh?
Lisa: I think she's taking lessons from Piggy behind everyone's back.
Leyla: See, THAT would be a great duo, eh? Kermit would be in REAL trouble, with BOTH of them to deal with...

Sam distinctly moved out of the way of the flinging frog. "I can not do that."

Lisa: Oh, he reacts the same way as Kermit to Piggy's methods.
Leyla: It's CLEARLY a conspiracy. Nevermind that ANYONE with half a brain would react that way.
Lisa: You've gotta love this language. "Distinctly" makes it kind of feel like we're in Sam's head.
Leyla: That is a Sam word, isn't it. Yeah, I LOVE when people do that. Good point, Lisa. Ten points for you! And a cookie.
Lisa: Oh, thank you. There's also the flinging frog alliteration. I like that.

"Why not? Tell auntie she’s pretty!" Aunt Marge said.

Leyla: That's like, the creepiest thing anyone's ever said to someone. I love Prawnie, because Aunt Marge just keeps getting worse and worse.
Lisa: Indeed. I'm starting to wonder what kind of drinks they serve at the library. Then I remember that they don't serve any. And then I remember that she's related to Kermit, so she must be innately insane to SOME level.

"Yes, you are, my puce... peach..." Sam said. "But not the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Lisa: Ah, so he's just trying to be HONEST, like a fine, upstanding American citizen. Modeling himself after Honest Abe, I'm sure.
Leyla: Not to mention he's actually been out of the Muppet Boarding House, apparently.
Lisa: Indeed. I must say, though, that this honesty is a refreshing change from all the lying in the last chapter.
Leyla: <laughs> Yes. This is true.

Aunt Marge frowned and sat back down. "What is then?"

Leyla: She's a brave lady to ask that kind of question. If somebody said, "You're NOT the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," I don't think my answer would be, "What is then?"
Lisa: I'd just take it as a compliment. Of COURSE I'm not the most beautiful THING someone has ever seen. I'm not a thing at all. I'm a person. See, it's all the way you look at it...
Leyla: Oh, clever girl.

Sam stood up straight and placed his right wing over his heart. "Old Glory herself."

Leyla: That's very dramatic. I like that. See that's fun, because... I just like the thought she might think that "Old Glory" is a new nickname for her. That would really amuse me.
Lisa: I dunno, for some reason I keep looking at that poster behind me- see, over there? Eagle on American flag background, made of lots of little pics... I dunno. American Eagle thing, I guess.

"There’s another woman?" Aunt Marge shouted. "Named Gloria?"

Lisa: ...Something like that. <Blink.> Except not at all like that.
Leyla: There now, see? That amuses me.
Lisa: Gloria's a nice name.

"The American flag, my dear," Sam said.

Lisa: Yes, Sam, the American flag IS your dear.
Leyla: I like him calling her my dear, like um- like she's a little child or something, and he's trying to correct her. It's also pretty gentle, from him, so he obviously likes her. I think if anyone else said that, he'd be... offended.

"...Odd," Aunt Marge said. "Yet normal."

Leyla: I would LOVE to know what her definition of 'normal' is. Actually, I don't wanna know. Some things are better left unsaid.
Lisa: Normal? The only definition I know for THAT is the town in Illinois, about two and a half hours south of here...
Leyla: I still don't get why they would ever name a town Normal. It's just- it's just ASKING for trouble.
Lisa: It is. Ask, and you shall receive, and so, they're getting me.
Leyla: <laughs> Oh my. That is DEFINITELY trouble, all right. It's a good kind of trouble, though. They'll be lucky to have you.
Lisa: I still pity them.
Leyla: That's 'cause you're a compassionate soul, and they don't know what's gonna hit them.
Lisa: ...You call me compassionate? Have you READ my stories?
Leyla: You- you, you- you're backin' me into a CORNER, here! What do you want from me?
Lisa: I dunno. Let's keep reading.
Leyla: Good idea.

"Mm, that is what I attempt to go for, yes," Sam said.

Lisa: So THAT'S why he hangs out with the Muppets! He considers himself freakishly normal, so he needs some oddness to balance- hence, Muppets! YAAAAAY!
Leyla: It hink you're right. I think there's a deep-seated fear in Sam that he is just TOO normal. He's also a bit of an evangelical, so to speak. He needs to convert everyone else to his way of thinking.
Lisa: ...Well... Muppets DO tend to be ambitious... I guess he's in the right spot.
Leyla: Even Sam's got his own dream, eh? Love that. So Muppety. Even the un-Muppety Muppets are Muppety.
Lisa: ...I don't think it's humanly possible to top that.

"Oh, Sammy," Aunt Marge swooned. "Take me home."

Lisa: <blink> ...Learning from Miss Piggy, like I said... Nick-name and all.
Leyla: Um... PANIC! Oh, my. Sammy. Something so wrong about that.
Lisa: And yet, so PERFECT.
Leyla: <giggles> Yes. Indeed.

"Ooh, yes, you’re right!" Sam said. "If we hurry, we may still catch the end of the Congress meeting on C-SPAN!"

Leyla: C-SPAN? ...I can see Sam having almost a fetish for watching such fine, upstanding, moral programing as C-SPAN.
Lisa: ...<Shrug>

"You really know how to win over a frog, Sammy," Aunt Marge said.

Lisa: Maybe HE should give PIGGY lessons. ...That would NOT end well, would it?
Leyla: <shakes head> ...No.

Kermit crossed his legs and smiled up at the stage from his seat in the front row. Rowlf’s paws began to roll across the piano keys.

Leyla: I like that. The rolling. That's kinda neat. And Kermit's so cute.
Lisa: So we've established. Many times. In English, French, and Gibberish now.
Leyla: <Giggles!> Boy, have we. I think you have brought the language of Gibberish to a whole new level tonight.
Lisa: I try.
Leyla: You succeed.
Lisa: Thank you. But I must say, Piggy just might be INSANELY unhappy to find Kermit in the audience. ...Unless, of course, they sit next to each other, and... I'll stop there.

Miss Piggy bumped into Kermit looking for an empty seat, not realizing it was him, and him not realizing it was her. "Oh, excuse moi," Piggy said.

Lisa: Oh, SO close to confrontation! Curses, curses on their obliviousness!
Leyla: Oh, I love it. I love it when they accidentally bump into each other. Because they always have such honest reactions... It's a totally unguarded thing.

"Oh sorry miss," Kermit said.

Leyla: Oh, Kermit.
Lisa: So polite.
Leyla: Very.
Lisa: I REALLY hope that she recognizes his voice, or something...
Leyla: Well, yeah, they've gotta figure it out SOME time...
Lisa: It IS, after all, an ushy-gushy story. Said so in the first post.
Leyla: That's true!

Their eyes met.

Lisa: YAAAAAY!
Leyla: Woo-hoo, reaction time!
Lisa: <bouncy bouncy bouncy>

"Kermit?" Miss Piggy whispered.

Lisa: Ooh... I just got shivers.
Leyla: Ohhhhhhh, I LOVE that. I love- I KNOW how they say each others' names, and just- I love that.
Lisa: Very powerful, having just... Just his name.
Leyla: Yeah. It is. And it's his full name, too. And given how often his pet-name has been thrown around by the WRONG people lately- namely, Aunt Marge- nice to hear him by his full name for once. Just Kermit.
Lisa: She DID call him Kermit a lot in the scene introducing the idea of Piggy and Link having pet-names for each other, because Piggy was rubbing it in...
Leyla: Mm, that's true. But this one was natural, and not an accusation. And I think that's part of the- difference there.
Lisa: VERY natural, and I love it when she NATURALLY says "Kermit" instead of "Kermie."
Leyla: Yeah. It's always a special kind of moment, isn't it? She doesn't do it very often.
Lisa: Indeed.

"Hi Piggy," Kermit said.

Leyla: Ohh! So sweet. He's very earnest, and always so sincere.
Lisa: You've got me melting over here, Prawnie dear. Just the SIMPLICITY... I love simplicity so much...
Leyla: Yeah. Simplicity's a beautiful thing. And Kermit is simple, in every way. He's a simple puppet, a simple person, likes simple things...
Lisa: And dates a very complicated pig.
Leyla: Yes, he does, which is why he's not ALWAYS quite on the same page as Piggy. They're quite different people. And I think his approach to life has been a lot simpler than hers.
Lisa: You know, it's reminding me of a page in It's Not Easy Being Green And Other Things to Consider. Hang on... Here it is. Pages twenty-six and twenty-seven. Page twenty-six is Jim: "Simple is good." The next page is Jerry Juhl: "We always used to kid Jim that after telling everybody 'simple is good,' he would turn around and try to produce the most complicated work in the world and just about wipe out all of us- him most of all- in the process."
Leyla: I like that. It's cute. Touching.

Piggy’s bottom lip quivered and she ran off. Kermit watched her go into the darkness of the theater.

Lisa: Oh!
Leyla: See? Oh, see, it got right too her! She's sensitive underneath it all. She's got a big, Muppety heart inside.
Lisa: That frog SO better follow her!
Leyla: <Grins> Yeah. You're right. Sing it, sister!
Lisa: I did that earlier tonight, remember? You got video... It was in gibberish...
Leyla: <Laughs!> How soon I forget these things. I suppose I'm trying to repress it. I'm just kidding.
Lisa: And I'm Insane. Let's continue, shall we?
Leyla: Yes ma'am.

On stage, Clifford, Gonzo, and Floyd moved to the front of the stage, the light filling a small circle around them. Each of them was decked out in a finely pressed tuxedo, and Clifford even took his sunglasses off.

Leyla: Ohhh! He took his sunglasses off! That is one of very few times I've actually felt sorry for Clifford, the other time being in your story, when he was angry with the nails.
Lisa: ...I'm honored. And also, I LOVE the light description! And the tuxedos! Oy, they really want their girls back.
Leyla: Yes, they do! They SHOULD want their girls back. Their girls want them back.
Lisa: More importantly, their girls want them to want them back.
Leyla: Yeah, they do. And they deserve them! Come on people, love! <Starts singing "Love is All You Need.">
Lisa: See, for a second there, you almost had me burst into Wicked again. "You deserve each other, this hat and you!"

"This one’s for you, Camilla," Gonzo said out into the audience.

Leyla: Ohhhhhh, he dedicated it to Camilla!
Lisa: For once, just this once, I hope they all follow Gonzo's example.
Leyla: Just this once. Not next time. Just this once.

"And you, Skeeter," Clifford said.

Lisa: Oh, look, they listened! ...That, or I'm just being Half Prawnie, as usual.
Leyla: Oh, he's doing it! Ohhhhhhh... Good for you, Clifford! They were the couple I was most worried about.
Lisa: Oh, me too!

"And Janice," Floyd added.

Lisa: YAY! Win those girls back, boys!
Leyla: Go guys, go! Sing it! They don't have HALF as much work to do as they think they do, because the girls all ready WANT them back! But I think it's so sweet that they're trying so hard...
Lisa: Well, I don't think Skeeter really wants Clifford back yet. She WANTS to want him back, but...
Leyla: ...Yeah... You have a point. She's got some issues. She needs some straightening out inside of her head.
Lisa: ...And what Muppet doesn't?

"We have been gay
Going our way
Life has been beautiful
We have been young," Gonzo sang.

Leyla: Awwwwwwwww, I love that song! It totally means Kermit and Piggy to me, but... I'm rather obsessive, so...
Lisa: ...Creepy. We were just listening to that, not too long ago. When I was singing in Gibberish.

"After you’ve gone
Life will go on," Clifford sang.

"Like an old song
We have sung," Floyd sang.

Leyla: <hums>
Lisa: <sways>

Rowlf pressed down harder on the keys, moving into a brief musical bridge.
Camilla, Janice, and Skeeter all sat out in the audience, dumbfounded, tears twinkling in each of their eyes.

Lisa: OOOOOH! ROWLF! KEYS! BRIDGE! TEARS!
Leyla: Oh, they're crying! Aw... Yes! That's SO NICE. Oh, he got to Skeeter, too! Oh, that's so nice. ...Twinkling. Twinkling! I like that! It reminds me of a poem, actually <goes on tangent of the beauty of the crying eye>
Lisa: <GRINS>

"When I grow too old to dream
I’ll have you to remember," all three of them harmonized.
"When I grow too old to dream
Your love will live in my heart."

Lisa: Harmony!
Lisa and Leyla: <singing along>

"So kiss me
My sweet," Gonzo sang.
"And so let us part."

"And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart," the three of them sang.

<Yes, we're still singing>

Floyd pulled his guitar out of nowhere and moved to the front, strumming it, changing the melody to a different song.

Lisa: OOH! Guitar!
Leyla: Ooh, good for him! And it's a medly, so that's nice. The guitar is his voice, so... I like that he's using guitar to talk to Janice. I mean... I know he plays bass, but... Maybe guitar is her voice, too. Interesting.
Lisa: ...Ditto to that. Also, I just adore the ability of all Muppets to pull anything out of nowhere.

"No one to talk with
All by myself," Floyd sang.
"No one to walk with
But I’m happy on the shelf.

"Ain’t misbehavin’
Savin’ my love for you."

<we keep singing along, yes...>
Leyla: I love that song. And it's such a good song for him, too!

Zoot made his way on stage with the saxophone, adding back up for Floyd. "Thanks, man," Floyd whispered.

Leyla: Oh, and Zoot's- Yay! That's so nice. They're such good friends.
Lisa: Yeah. So happyful, considering that there was quite a little spat- Floyd DID throw a drum off stage when Zoot and Janice harmonized.
Leyla: <giggles> Yes, this is true. And apparently Zoot's forgiven him for that.
Lisa: Well, Zoot never really WANTED to interfere. When Janice asked him out, Zoot didn't say yes- he just looked at Floyd. Janice just sort of pulled him into it.
Leyla: I mean, he forgive him for the spat. Zoot NEVER wanted to be involved, at all...
Lisa: Yeah, but not wanting to get involved has a lot to do with the fact that he understands Floyd's position here.
Leyla: Well, yeah. Oh, yeah yeah. Absolutely. I'm just happy for all of that.
Lisa: Me too.

"I know for certain
The one I love
I’m through with flirtin’
It’s just you I’m dreamin’ of.

"Ain’t misbehavin’
Savin’ my love for you," Floyd sang.

"Black Jack Horner, in the corner
Don’t go nowhere, what do I care?
Your kisses are worth waitin’ for
Believe me.

"Don’t stay out late
Don’t care to go
I’m home about eight
Just me and my radio.

"Ain’t misbehavin’
Savin’ my love for you."

<We're both singing along and trying to remember when he goes up and when he goes down. Up IS down, of course, but...>

Floyd moved back, letting Clifford move into the spotlight, as Rowlf resumed the piano.

Leyla: Ohhhh... Clifford, your turn, buddy! And this is, y'know- this is the big one!
Lisa: Oh, indeed...

"I’ve been livn’ with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleepin’ with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on," Clifford sang.

"I’ve been hidin’ all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I need ‘em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind.

"All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love.

(We don't know this one as well, so we're just listening to it- thank you for sending it- and feeling rather... touched.)

Floyd picked up again with the guitar, strumming along with Rowlf on the piano, both of them picking up tempo.

"I’ve been watchin’ but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searchin’ but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s gotta be somethin’ for my soul somewhere.

"I’ve been lookin’ for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions.

Lisa: NOT JUST SOMEONE TO GET THROUGH THE NIGHT! He wants a REAL, SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP! That makes me happy.
Leyla: It's about TIME he figured that out, and made that decision.
Lisa: Oh, indeed... A lot of the Muppets need to figure that out. It's like a plague on the whole Muppet Boarding House- they think they can live their whole lives as bachelors. What do they do when they're old and gray? You don't see Statler and Waldorf picking up any hot girls at the bar.
Leyla: <Giggles!> No, this is true. I think they're married, but- well, at least one of them is- but that aside, y'know, they're not exactly date magnets.
Lisa: Exactly.

"All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back to love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hopin’ you’ll be there for me in the end!" Clifford put all his passion into the last note.

All three girls in the room (Yes Nyssa IS still here) : Awwww....
Nyssa: (I just wasn't paying attention for the... All before this. I felt the need to come forward and see if I recognized this song. And I did!) All his passion...
Lisa: He's hoping for HER! For SKEETER! WHEEEEE!
Leyla: Yes. In the end. Long-term, baby!
Lisa: Baby? Gee, they move quick...
<all three girls giggle>
Nyssa: Why are we all talking about babies lately?
Lisa: That's an epidemic. Not to be confused with the MBH-lack-of-relationship-plague.

With the tempo still in the last notes of the song, Clifford and Gonzo swapped places. This time, Animal began to drum along with Gonzo’s singing.

Leyla: Animal. That's fun.
Nyssa: I don't think that's a good idea.
Leyla: Well, he's always been brave. Well, foolhardy...
Lisa: Same thing, really, just different perspective. I'm REALLY curious what song he's going to sing. He all ready sang "Camilla," which worked, but he didn't think it did, but it's so perfect... So, yes. I'm curious.
Nyssa: He's gonna sing, uh... "I'm a Barbie Girl" in bawks.
Leyla: That would probably work for him.
Nyssa: Wouldn't call it romantic. But, y'know, whatever.
Lisa: Yes, he is a whatever. But I do hope it's not Barbie Girl in bawks. I've all ready done that once tonight... That's what the video's of, isn't it?...
Leyla: ...I think so?... Part of it is, anyway...
Lisa: And part of it is maybe The Entertainer...
Leyla: Yeah, I think so. And also, you looking worried about me filming you.
Lisa: Looking worried, and heartsick for Prawnie.
Leyla: Yes. Of course.
Lisa: <blush>
Leyla: <giggles> Oh, you. <giggles>
Lisa: <giggles>

"I’m strange and you’re strange
Don’t want you to change
No way," Gonzo sang.

"How can I explain
Flyin’ to the sun without a plane
When you’re here.

"And don’t you worry ‘bout me babe
‘Cause I’m right here
For you to say.

"Hope you know you inspire me
You’re a flower and I’m a bee
I need you.

"All this you do for free
Gimme hope and I can see
You’re so true.

"And don’t you worry ‘bout me, babe
‘Cause I’m right there
For you to say."

(Okay, so none of us recognize it, but...)
Lisa: Those words could NOT be more fitting for these two. "Give me hope and I can see..." Wow.
Leyla: Wow... They're both so different. They both need each other so much. And inspiration is always so important to Gonzo. "Hope you know you inspire me..."

The music began to slow down again, and Floyd and Clifford moved upstage on either side of Gonzo, Floyd still strumming the guitar, Rowlf still ticking the ivories, and Animal still banging the drums.

Lisa: Nice reminder of everyone...

"Yes, when we grow too old to dream
We’ll have you to remember," all three of them sang, coming to the closing of the song.

"And when we grow too old to dream
Your kisses will live in our hearts.
"Oh, when we grow too old to dream
Your love... will live in... our hearts."

Leyla: Aw, that's what they did way back in the beginning. That's so sweet... I like the call back.
Lisa: Me too.

Silence.

Nyssa: Silence. That's forboding. Or really good, I'm not sure.
Leyla: Probably really good.
Lisa: It's a one-word sentence! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Powerful stabby Prawnie you learn too well.

Dead silence.

Lisa: OH goodness.
Nyssa: Uh-oh. DEAD silence. They all died.
Leyla: I think you're a little too bleak. I have faith in Prawnie, that he would not do that. I'm still waiting for the applause.
Nyssa: There WAS no audience, that's the problem...
Leyla: Well, there were at least three- the important three...
Nyssa: Wasn't Kermit in the audience?
Lisa: I'm hoping he followed Piggy.
Leyla: Yeah...

Not a sound was made throughout the theater. Clifford, Gonzo, and Floyd stood on the stage, looking out into the audience, waiting.

Nyssa: Uh-oh.
Leyla: Ooh, tension, tension! I still trust Prawnie!
Nyssa: Don't have faith in Prawnie!
Leyla: So cynical.
Nyssa: That's my job in life.
Lisa: <mutters> Stop commenting so I can stop typing so I can see WHAT HAPPENS! GARGH!

Little did they know, the audience was waiting too.

Lisa: Ooh!
Leyla: The audience was waiting, toooo! Ooh...
Nyssa: Waiting for WHAT? I just don't understand...
Leyla: Waiting for the GIRLS, Nyssa!
Lisa: The GIRLS! Oy, everyone's waiting for everyone. Someone blow something up or something...

Waiting for Skeeter, Camilla, and Janice to react.

Lisa: Leyla, you pulled a Leyla.
Leyla: Oh, I pulled a Leyla. And hey look, we're back to PULLING a Leyla. I'm no longer a verb.
Lisa: Well... they're synonyms, pulling a Leyla and Leylaing...
Leyla: Oh, okay. So they're interchangeable. That's fun.
Lisa: SO WHAT HAPPENED?

Finally, Skeeter shot out of her seat. "Clifford, take me back!" she shouted, tears flying from her eyes.

Lisa: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! <attempts not swooning>
Leyla: Wow. Isn't SHE impulsive!
Lisa: YAY! IT'S ABOUT TIME!
Leyla: I like this couple a lot more than I did, I think.

"Brawk bawk byuck bawk brawk bawk bawk!" Camilla clucked loudly.

Lisa: FREED FROM THE TYRANNY, THEY ALL RETURN TO THEIR MEN! HALLELUJAH!
Leyla: Freed from the tyranny- You said it. I do so love a happy ending... I don't think I'm gonna see all of it this chapter.

"Like, Floyd, please!" Janice shouted.

Lisa: PLEASE! Like he'd say no. PLEASE! PLEASE! YAAAAAAAAY COUPLES BACK TOGETHER HAPPINESS YAY TOGETHER AGAIN DON'T MAKE ME START SINGING AGAIN WHEEEEEEEEEE!
Leyla: Toooooooooooogether a- Oh, sorry. Don't wanna trigger ya.
Nyssa: Too late.
Leyla: Actually, it wasn't really too late, she didn't start singing.
Nyssa: She's singing in her head.
Leyla: Oh, is she?
Nyssa: Yes.

The three of them took off out of their seats and ran up to the stage. The audience moved them along with a standing ovation as they passed through each row. When they reached the band pit, Rowlf helped each of them up into it, and Dr. Teeth assisted them onto the stage.

Lisa: <GRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS> <reverts to Gibberish again>
Leyla: Ohhhhh, the audience's ovation! OH, and I love that Rowlf and Dr. Teeth are helping them too. It's one of those triumphant, Hollywood types of ending. I love those endings.

Each girl ran into their respective man’s arms. "Oh you did it," Skeeter said, pecking Clifford on the cheek. "You did it."

Lisa: <GRINS> HE DID! HE DID! HE DIIIIIIIIIIIID!
Leyla: Ohhhhh, he did! You know, I love how relieved she is. She really DID want him to come back, and he DID come back...

Gonzo looked around at the couples, his arm wrapped around Camilla. "We did it!" he shouted wildly.

Lisa: WE! It's the Muppet WE! Not to be confused with the royal we. It's the Muppet we. It's much more... meaningful and touching and WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Leyla: WE did it! Oh, I love the difference there. WE did it. I like the progression there. He did it, he did it, and then WE did it, we did it!

"Thanks, ya’ll!" Clifford said to the audience. "We’ll see ya’ll next time on ‘The Muppet Show’! Heh, heh!"

Lisa: Co-host. So Kermit isn't there, right? And he's going off to follow Piggy, isn't he?
Leyla: That's nice, that Clifford thanks them. Yeah, where IS Kermit? He'd BETTER follow her...

"Whoo! Whoo!" Waldorf called from the balcony.

"Yeah! More! More!" Statler said.

"What are we doing?" Waldorf asked.

"I think we must be sick," Statler said.

"Oh no," Waldorf said. "We’ve caught the love sickness!"

Lisa: HAHA! Their ears must be burning.
Leyla: Statler and Waldorf are lovesick?
Nyssa: Ew...

Kermit may have been the only person in the theater left sitting. Miss Piggy had successfully floored him. Again.

Lisa: ...Okay, so what does THAT mean? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? He didn't follow her? Too dumbfounded? KERMIT! GO WIN YOUR PIG BACK! NOOOOOOOOOOOW!
Leyla: Wha- what? What? Okay- so he DIDN'T go after her? What? What? Prawnie! Aw...
Lisa: And of COURSE he ends it there...
Leyla: He's gotta go after her. He can't just sit there! ...Of course he does. Lousy loveable Prawn. ...C'mon Kermit. He realizes how upset she is, which is probably the first time he sees it from her angle, since she's been playing it pretty close...
Lisa: Indeed. Meantime, we gotta post this so Prawnie can read it and go to bed.
Leyla: Yeah. We do.
Lisa: MORE PLEASE, Prawnie honey!

 

[The Count]

*Sits back and waits for Prawny to post the next chapter... Either that, or cliff notes of the trio's reviews.

 

[The Count]

*Ghostly waling... If you want to avoid the curse of today's date... Or do not wish to be henpecked out of anger by the birthday cluck... Post more story! You have been warned!

 

[theprawncracker]

Gargh... okay, I'm trying... I've still got to write three and a half short stories for my Honors English class, and that SHOULD be occupying my time, but it isn't, and it needs to, and it will... um, yeah. But I'll try and get another chapter up soon. I know what's going to happen, I just need to write it happening. (Which, unfortunately, is about twenty times more than I know about the short stories I have to write for English. )