Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia: Hellfire, darkfire, now Beakie it's your turn! Choose me or your pyre . . .

Beaker: -Sentenced to the stake, dressed as Esmeralda, no thanks to Claudia's twisted mind- Mee, meee, meee!

Bunsen: Oh, how that silly concoction of mine warped her mind to mush! Dear, that virtual reality . . . er . . . thing (goodness, I sound strange saying that) - I haven't quite named it yet - is off. You're no longer Frollo, Missy!

Claudia: Kiss my a---

Blind Pew: NYAHAHAHA! SHE SAID A--- . . .

Bunsen: Such foul language!

Claudia: . . . But I'm an evil minister bent on burning a really hot gypsy chick! ;_; I'm supposed to be wicked and evil.

Bunsen: -Slaps forehead-

Beaker: Losers, meep.

 

[RedPiggy]

Spike (knocks on Ailie's door): Hey! You in?

Meanwhile ...

Cotterpin (looks at crystal ball on desk): Uh, I think you might be in trouble....

Kelly (mindlessly staring at the hole in the wall, trying to see where Cotterpin fell from): Why?

Cotterpin: This human girl's got some SERIOUS issues with your attitude ...

Kelly: Huh? Why get mad at ME? YOU insulted her?

Cotterpin: Well, SOMEBODY musta told her. I sure didn't.

Kelly (shrugs): Maybe it was Chamberlain. He was in a right-foul mood last night.

Cotterpin: Sigh. Yeah -- he seemed kinda ... jealous. *turns toward Kelly* How many boyfriends do you even HAVE here, anyway?

Kelly (rises up, hits her head on the tunnel ceiling): OUCH!

Cotterpin (aside to readers): That's TOTALLY not what she said. We're just being nice about it .... -_-

Kelly (rubbing her head): Can't I have male friends? Spike is my roommate ....

Cotterpin (giggles): And your skin gets about 25 degrees hotter when you talk to him.

Kelly: How would YOU know?

Cotterpin: You hold me in your hands, remember? You nearly give ME a fever ... when you're in L-O-V-E. Heeheehee!

Kelly: Right, whatever. My geeky side is attracted to Digit. My dark side is attracted to Chamberlain. My rebellious side is attracted to Spike. That's it.

Cotterpin (shakes head sadly): I didn't hear a "nice" side ....

Kelly: Nice girls just keep to themselves.

Cotterpin (snickers)

Kelly: What?

Cotterpin: We Doozers aren't known around Fraggle Rock to be very emotional ... and WE have decent relationships that don't involve treachery or violence.

Kelly: Well, I don't have that with Digit, do I?

Cotterpin: So, if the world was about to end and you could only choose one of your boyfriends to go out with -- who'd it be?

Kelly: Well, Chamberlain would probably have caused it. Spike wouldn't care because he's already been there, done that. I guess that leaves Digit.

 

[RedPiggy]

Spike (shrugs): Pffbt. Women. *decides to wander around to see what kind of stuff there is to do*

 

[RedPiggy]

Spike: THAT DOES IT! NO ONE DISSES MY JACKET! *grabs Chamberlain by the arm and starts ripping off spines* LET'S SEE IF YA LIKE PIERCED EARRINGS ... WIT' YOUR OWN SPINES, LAME-O!

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia: Spammy, heeeeyy! XD I'm in the middle of a burning ritual . . .

Beaker: -Crying for Ailie- MEEE, MEE, MEEE! ;_;

Bunsen: Incredible! Dr. Teeth has succumbed to this Disney-inspired illusion! Insanity is infectious, no?

Blind Pew: -Too busy snuggling Ailie- <3 Mmmm.

Claudia: -Plucks Spike away from Chamby- No hurting my Chamby! ;_; Or I'll burn you at the stake myself . . .

 

[The Count]

*Is still dead, hearing and waiting for mermaid. *Uncle D up in the rafters, ringing the bells to underscore the topsy-turviness. *Count offers popcorn.

 

[The Count]

*Is dragged back to Room #1 after the funny business died down. *Is placed on his bed and allowed to rest. No love for meh *Roomies go about some nightly/evening rounds, putting things in order and tending to their pets.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(night before)

(group has just had a big meal of stew, soda bread with honey and butter, vegetables, and berries with whipped cream)

(On the door, there is a sign: "Cead Mile Failte, unless you start singing Danny Boy.")

Beige: Is it true that a lot of bars ban that song on St. Patrick's Day?
Erin: Yeah, a couple of bars in the city started doing it a few years ago.
Storyteller: Why? It's such a lovely song.
Scooter: Not when you've got a bunch of off-key, beery bar patrons singing it over and over again.
Nora: Plus, it was written by a British man who never set foot in Ireland in his life.

(stereo stops playing; Scooter puts in a copy of U2's latest album)

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly (goes back to working on the wall): Cotterpin ... I can't find a hole.

Cotterpin (on floor near Kelly, shaking head): Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it wasn't there. I'm HERE, aren't I?

Kelly (sighs): Good point.

Cotterpin (kicks away some brick crumbs): I really am sorry about Spike, though.

Kelly: ...

Cotterpin (sighs): Fine. Be that way. I just wanted to provide some friendly conversation ....

Kelly (sighs): Cotterpin. He got mad and left. *mutters under breath* All men do that.

Cotterpin (smiles): I don't think Digit would. Even that weird burned bird thing likes you too much to really stay away. *taps chin* You know what I think?

Kelly: No, but I bet I'll hear it anyway.

Cotterpin: I think you, Spike, and that weird burned bird thing ....

Kelly: Chamberlain.

Cotterpin (shrugs): Chamberlain ... use sarcasm and ugliness to hide your softer side.

Kelly (can't help but giggle): You're one to talk. I bet you've got a mouth on you, too.

Cotterpin: Of COURSE I do. I get in trouble with the other Doozers all the time! That's how I know what makes your gears turn.

Kelly: I don't have --.

Cotterpin: Argh! You KNOW what I mean!

Kelly (sighs): Yeah. *long pause* I feel kinda sorry for Spike, too. You're the one who apparently pushed a bad button ... I admit I wasn't too thrilled with "the other woman" thing ... and she takes it out on Spike. That sucks.

Cotterpin: Maybe we could help them make up?

Kelly: Doubtful. Spike went home to sulk. He could be gone for awhile.

Cotterpin (devilishly): And that would give him less time for YOU, right?

Kelly: It'd be a REAL shame to see this tunnel boarded up. You'd NEVER get home.

Cotterpin: Red said she and her friends stayed here sometimes too. *shrugs* I could just go home with them.

Kelly: YOU JUST GOT HERE!

Cotterpin: Well, I don't EAT what you guys make! I eat food pellets --.

Kelly (laughs, sits up carefully to avoid hitting her head again): I have a question: what are they? Are they what I think they are? I mean, we never hear or see Fraggles and stuff go to the restroom....

Cotterpin (gags): THAT IS THE GROSSEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD! EWWW! NO!

Kelly (walks over to crystal ball and carries it back to tunnel): I wish ... I wish a tunnel leading back to Doozer Dome appeared in this tunnel ... right now.

*a flash of light reveals a new tunnel breaking off on the right of the bricked tunnel*

Cotterpin: Wow.

Kelly: That saves a lot of time. *dusts self off* Now you can go home and rest and eat and stuff ... and still come back. *pause* You'd come BACK, right?

Cotterpin (devilishly): I haven't decided ....

Kelly (crosses arms and smirks): Might I remind you, Digit and Lindbergh have your scooter.

Cotterpin: Mail it.

Kelly (nods): I think I'll tell them to bronze it and put it up for display in the lobby.

Cotterpin: You WOULDN'T DARE.

Kelly (smiles): Would I? Oh, yes ... I would. *giggles*

Cotterpin: Sigh. Fine. I'll come back ... if you teach me how to design buildings on your computer.

Kelly: Deal. I'm gonna make a Sims Dorm. I tried downloading a free 3D building tool ... but ... I must not be getting it ... because it's ticking me off.

 

[RedPiggy]

And Cotterpin called me on it as well.

Edited ...