Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[RedPiggy]

Kelly (eyes popping when Chamberlain poofs): Whoa ... *looks at watch* Meh. *goes downstairs but passes out from fatigue before reaching her room* ZZZZZZZZ.

Spike (sighs happily, but wonders where Kelly is): Chick probably got hen-pecked ta death. *opens door to find Kelly snoring on the floor, so he picks her up with one hand and plops her back down on the mattress and goes to sleep himself*

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly and Spike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZSNIFFSNIFFROSESZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly (wakes up due to hunger, yawns and stretches): Man, that was a late night.

Spike: ZZZZZZZZ...

Kelly (grins): I've had two dates now in less than a month I think. *sighs* I didn't even get that kind of treatment in high school. *rubs eyes* Guess I need to set up the new laptop. *opens door, hears crunch* Huh? *looks down and removes foot to find rose* Awwww.

Spike (suddenly awake and behind her, yawning): What's dat?

Kelly (grins): The most beautiful rose! I bet it's from Digit.... He's so romantic.

Spike (sniffs rose): Ugh. Nah, it's from dat Wrinkle-Beak.

Kelly (jaw drops): Wait ... CHAMBERLAIN gave me a rose?

Spike (shudders): No accountin' for taste, I guess. You're awfully fickle in love, toots.

Kelly (elbows him): Says the guy who should be dating me but slobbers over an anorexic pork roast bimbo and some girl who's not even legal yet.

Spike (grins): Well, you could always tell 'er how ya feel. Better yet, let's go find a mud patch, an' some skimpy swimsuits from dat pig chick ... and ....

Kelly: Blech. I'm not getting involved in a cat fight.

Spike: So don't invite da cats!

Kelly: I'm not going to battle against Ailie because she has a crush on you. I'm not the jealous type.

Spike (snickers): Yeah ... right. *winks* You're da one who bragged 'bout havin' swords. Dat movie ya mentioned ... which scene do ya prefer: da fight in da kitchen, da fight in the snow, or da fight in da trailer? *fans self* 'Cause, any o' de above makes me feel kinda hot.... Oh, an' by da way ... we got some major infestations or somethin' 'round here, toots.

Kelly: What do you mean?

Spike: Somethin' in da walls. T'ought I'd never get ta sleep wit' all dose grindin' noises.

Kelly (smirks): I thought that was you and Ailie.

Spike: Ha-HA. No, sounds like someone's tunnelin' t'rough dere.

Kelly: Well, go see.

Spike: Hey -- you're half my size! YOU go look!

 

[RedPiggy]

Spike (smiles as he overhears conversation, to Kelly as she types on her fanfics): Hey, great job, Kel! You made Spamela cry.

Kelly (doesn't look up, frowns): Is the room bugged or something?

Spike (chuckles as he closes the door): I guess even your goody-goody side don't last TOO long. You take extra vindictive pills from da KFC reject?

Kelly: I didn't even mention anything about her to Chamberlain, thank you very much.

Spike (rolls eyes and glances at the computer): What're you doin', anyway?

Kelly: Planning a wedding.

Spike (gags): You're not t'inkin' of actually MARRYING da guy who looks like he got plucked by that old chick in Mary Poppins and den sat on and had a cigarette flicked on him, are ya?

Kelly (stops and glares at him): Where do you even COME UP with this stuff? Have you been glued to the tv every waking hour?

Spike (crosses his arms): Ain't you been on da computer since 8:00 dis mornin'?

Kelly (turns back to the laptop): I have a fic to finish. *gives him the 'talk to the hand' gesture* Go "comfort" Little Miss "Annie Sue with lipo", then.

Spike (frowns): Ya want me ta come back wit' her so she can lecture ya 'bout YOUR weight?

Kelly: Ugh. You weigh more than everyone on this floor combined.

Spike (grins): Yeah, an' dat's what da chicks dig 'bout me.

Kelly (rolls eyes): They just need a shovel for all that BS you keep spouting off.

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly (taps away at computer, hears a crash ... a tiny one, and looks around. A tiny ribbon of smoke is coming from the hole Spike kicked in the wall.): Hey, Spike ... go see what that is, will ya? *Spike doesn't answer* Where did he go? Men ... never 'round when ya want 'em. *goes to investigate and spies a rainbow-colored roller-skate-like RC toy upturned. Something's moaning underneath. Picks up toy.* Heh. You gotta be kidding me.

Small green thing with bright red shoulder-length hair: Unnnhhh...

Kelly (carefully picks up little green thing): You okay?

Little green thing (finally opens her eyes): WWWWAAAAAAH! A monster! A giant! A ... a ... *calms down, curious* ... hey, what ARE you, anyway?

Kelly: I'm a human being. You are?

Little green thing: Name's Cotterpin. *rubs head tenderly* A Doozer bridge went out from under me and I crashed.

Kelly (blinks): My name's Kelly. Let me see if I got some gauze or something. Anything broken?

Cotterpin (bitterly): Yeah, my scooter.

Kelly (sighs, going back to computer desk, sets down Cotterpin): What is it with this room and scooters?

Cotterpin: Huh?

Kelly: Never mind. I got some Kleenexes. I can use that, I guess.

Cotterpin: OUCH! Watch it, will ya?

Spike (re-enters room, shaking head): I wouldn't go out dere, toots. It's kinda messy everywhere. *spots Cotterpin* Appetizer?

Cotterpin: EEP!

Kelly: No, Spike, this is Cotterpin. She's a Doozer with ... hehe ... apparently a bad driving record.

Cotterpin: HEY! The BRIDGE disappeared! That's not MY fault! Why doncha take Mr. Scaly Gorg over there and try an' do something CONSTRUCTIVE ... like FIX MY SCOOTER!

Spike (bemused): Dey let bugs have vehicles now?

Cotterpin: I am NOT a bug! I'm a Doozer and if ya don't watch out ... I'll dig out the entire foundation from under ya. Let's see how ya like THAT, Pointy.

Kelly (snickers): Okay. Cotterpin, are you going to be okay?

Cotterpin: Heck, no! The architect'll KILL me if I don't get back to Site 48E!

Kelly: Well, I know some geeks around here who can fix your scooter. But I haven't seem them today. We'll try an' look them up later, 'kay?

Cotterpin (whimpers): I'll be demoted to dust-scrubber for sure.

Spike (grins): Ah, well, if ya t'ink facin' up to your boss'll be too tough ... I can end your misery an' just eat ya.

Cotterpin (growls through her tears): YOU WOULDN'T DARE! How do you know I'm not POISONOUS?

Spike: Only one way ta tell ....

Kelly: No one's eating anybody. *glares at Spike* NO ... ONE.

Cotterpin (glancing at computer, wide-eyed): Um, what's THAT?

Kelly: My laptop. It's a computer. It helps me write stories, make pictures, design stuff ....

Cotterpin (in awe): "Design stuff"?

Kelly: Yeah.

Spike (shakes head): I can see where dis is goin'. Good night, ev'rybody. *plops down on his mattress* Say goodnight, Emerald Appetizer.

Cotterpin (clenches fist, turns to Kelly): Does he ever TRY to get names right?

Kelly (shakes head)

Cotterpin (stares at laptop): Well, surely the Architect won't mind me stickin' around a LITTLE, just to catch up on the latest in engineering technology.....

 

[The Count]

*Leaves two little white boxes at Kelly's door. They contain Kermit badges with the names of her roomies in silver lettering on the collar. There'd be three of these, but Kelly already got hers. *Huggles, <333.

 

[RedPiggy]

Cotterpin (munches on some small pieces of cookie): Well, it's not exactly purple food pellets, but it'll do. *glances at Digit* Um ... you got a lot of funny antennaes on your head. They look almost like wires and cables. *glances at Waldo* I've never seen a creature like you before. *munchmunch* At least you guys look more normal than that huge thing-a-ma-bob back in Kelly's room.

Kelly: Spike's a dinosaur, Cotterpin. He's ... well ... normal ... for him.

Cotterpin: Meh. *shrugs* Doozers don't usually get along with any other creatures. We just build stuff.

Kelly: You're friends with Fraggles, right?

Cotterpin: But that's different! They're fun, not scary!

Kelly (sighs and rolls eyes): I am SO glad to see y'all back wandering around. Is Cait back? I wanted to talk to her about Large Marvin (the User, not the Fraggle).

Cotterpin: That's a relief. You'd never keep food stores with that fat fraggle walking around.

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly: Hey, thanks, Ed! *glances at Cotterpin* I wonder if we could glue that onto your visor?

Cotterpin (looks at badge): What's this for? I haven't done anything yet.

Kelly (shrugs): Ed gives 'em as presents to whomever moves in.

Cotterpin: Oh. I guess ... I guess ... that's really nice. I guess the Architect won't mind me hanging out here some times. But I still have to go to work. So, I still need my scooter fixed.

 

[The Count]

*Waking up, rather drowsily... Wha happa?

Count, shamrock pick in his mouth. Never mind.
Me: Where's...
Me: Is the lasagna all locked up/eaten by now?
UD, sighing: Yes.
Me: Good. You know you can't/shouldn't have any today. Third Wednesday in the month of March.
UD: Blast that third Rule of Death.

*Count, still with the shamrock pick.
Me: Hey, where'd that little leprechaun go?
Count, removing the pick from his mouth: Oh, I had him for dinner.
Me: , you'd better not let Alex hear you.

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly (at laptop, sighing happily): That's so romantic ....

Cotterpin (watches): That was a lot of trouble.

Kelly: At least it's finished now. I got my lovey-dovey side of myself all expressed an' everything ... sigh.

Spike (chuckling as he reads some magazines on his bed): Great. You're done. Now let dat poor laptop breathe for a few hours. I'm surprised ya got any blood circulation at all in your legs.

Kelly (rolls eyes): That's the last time I let you talk to my brother.

Cotterpin: Isn't that Waldo guy still hanging around?

Kelly: I dunno. Didn't see him when I got back.

Spike: An' dat's anuddah reason ta be happy: no more coochy-coochy gooey talk.

Kelly (glances at Spike): That counts you an' Ailie, too, you know.

Spike (continues to read magazine): I ain't da one writin' romances. I ain't got a problem.

Kelly (shrugs, smirking): I guess not ... I mean, she DID drop you like a lava rock to go elevate some kid's blood sugar.

Cotterpin: Yeah, even Wrench has a bigger attention span that that.

Spike (glances at Cotterpin): Didn't I eat a "wrench" sometime today? Green, crunchy on da outside, chewy center?

Cotterpin (gasps)

Kelly (puts hand on Cotterpin's head): Don't listen to him, Cotterpin. He's still upset his perfect record with women just got struck down a few notches, that's all.

Spike (grumbles)