Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[Ruahnna]

(whispering: If you have any really good heckles, you can PM me and I'll put you in my next post. Just tell me who's saying what.)

 

[The Count]

*At Room #1's door... What's that Fatatatita? Oh, thank you... Now run along, I think Gaffer's been looking for you. Either that or Kathy and her roomies went on a little mini-vacation.

Sent you some heckles Cath, feel free to use them. And another E-mail, something's start to bubble up.
Talk to you soon.

 

[Java]

Note is posted outside Melissa's door:

Hi everyone,
Sprocket, Brian (TSD), and I are very busy right now. My husband and I are moving non-dorm related items into our new home and the dogs decided they wanted to help. I have limitied internet access until next week when we are finally all moved in and can get back to dorm life.

See you all then!

 

[theprawncracker]

Me: *falling asleep at desk*
Clifford: Hey Ry! How'd it go tonight?!
Me: *shoots up* PYTHAGORIAN THEOROM! A2 + B2 = C2!!
Clifford: Yo dude, hold up. I was talkin' bout the lip sync competition you were hostin'.
Me: Oh...Oh! It was great Cliff! A lot of fun! And a lot of people!
Clifford: Heh, cool dude. I think I'll head off to bed. Sugest you do the same. Unless you're waitin' up for Gonzo and Camilla?
Me: Where'd they go?
Clifford: They went out to Everybody Eats, had dinner plans. And Cookie and Herry are already asleep out on the couch.
Me: And where'd Uncle D. move to?
Clifford: He's spendin' the night down in the fan-fic library. Got some catchin' up to do. He suggested you do the same.
Me: *rolls eyes* Right...If the homework ever lets up. Night Cliff!
Clifford: Night dude!

 

[Ruahnna]

Fozzie: Um, hello, everybodee.
Oscar: You stink! Go away!
Fozzie: But, but—I just got here.
Catherine: Oscar, I don’t think you’ve got any right to be talking about other people stinking. Speaking of stinks, did something die in there or are you just cooking again?
Oscar: Hey!
Fozzie: Hey—not bad.
Catherine: Now you try.
Fozzie: But I am not—
Oscar: Can it furball! Cough up some yuks or get off the stage!
Fozzie: (indignantly) Speaking of furballs and “yucks,” who does your hair?—a trash compactor?
Oscar: Hey! That was (looks at Catherine) That was pretty good, actually. (Slams down into trash can.)
Fozzie: (looking at Catherine hopefully) Do you think he’s gone?
Catherine: Knowing Oscar, he’s going for reinforcements. C’mon—let’s see your stuff. (Hears sounds of people coming in.) Oh, good—people are coming in.
Fozzie: (nervously) People?
Catherine: Um, well, you know, sortof. Hey Kermit! Hey Piggy! They must have seen the note. Hey Leyla!
Leyla: Hi! Hi Fozzie! Are you ready to do your routine?
Fozzie: Do I have a choice?
Leyla: Nope.
Fozzie: (meekly) Yes ma’am.
Leyla: (wonderingly) He called me ‘ma’am.
Wanda: Was that a joke?
Leyla: Watch it.
Fozzie: Um, why did the chicken cross the road?
Piggy: To get away from the comedian!
Kermit: Piggy—that wasn’t nice!
Piggy: I’m not supposed to be nice! I’m supposed to heckle.
Kermit: Oh, right. Um, hey Fozzie—you’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny! (sotto voce) I feel mean!
Fozzie: Ha! Shows what YOU know—my mother didn’t pick out this tie! I did!
(Unexpectedly, the audience laughs. Fozzie looks startled.) Um, I always like to get a new tie when I’m down in the dumps. (Kermit looks at Catherine. She shrugs, but before he can answer Piggy jumps back in.)
Piggy: So THAT’s where you get them!
Fozzie: (directly to Piggy) Oh—how nice to see you again, madam! I think you came to last year’s show. I never forget an outfit!
(Piggy sputters and the audience titters cautiously.)
Wanda: (poking Leyla) Go on—don’t just sit there!
Leyla: Oh, I can't possibly heckle Fozzie.
Wanda: You do it to him all the time in fanfic.
Leyla: True. Hey Fozzie!
Fozzie: Yes?
Leyla: Fozzie Wozzie was a bear, Fozzie Wozzie had no flare, so Fozzie Wozzie wasn't funny... wunny?
Fozzie: Funny wunny. Suddenly my routine isn’t looking so bad.
Ryan: That’s only because you’re not watching it! That last joke made me seasick!
Fozzie: (desperately) A man goes on a cruise and gets seasick every night. Finally after a week he asked the steward to bring his supper out to the rail. When the food is brought, he throws it over the side. “Why did you do that?” asked the steward. Said the man, “I got tired of being the middleman!
There is a mild surge of bemusement. Fozzie groans.
Fozzie: Um, what do you get when you cross a centipede with a chicken?
Kermit: (helpfully) Um, I don’t know, Fozzie. What DO you get?
Fozzie: I don’t know either, but everybody gets a drumstick!
Camilla clucks indignantly.
Fozzie: Oh—sorry, Camilla. I won’t do any more poultry humor.
Gonzo: Do any more? You haven’t done any YET!
Fozzie: Oh, whatever.
Gonzo: You called?
Fozzie: Um—what do you get when you cross a busy street with a bicycle?
Gonzo: Ooh—I know this one! Higher insurance premiums.
Fozzie: Run over!
Gonzo: Mine was funnier.
Kermit: Gonzo!
Gonzo: Well, it was!
Fozzie: Um, I kept taking out a librarian but I had to break things off!
Catherine: Why’d you have to break things off?
Fozzie: I got tired of checking her in and out!
Ed: You call that you’re A-material?
Count: More like his Z-material!
Oscar: (reappearing from trash can) Still here I see—I thought it was too quiet up here.
Fozzie: Oh, please—isn’t there one thing you like about my act?
Count: Aha! One! I’d call that ONE BAD act.
Ed: Well, I’d call a cab out of here!
Scooter (whispering to Sara): This is sortof awful. It’s like watching a train wreck.
Oscar: Only less entertaining.
Fozzie: (rallying just a little) Well, I’ll have you know some of these jokes are time-tested!
Ernie: (whispering) What’s he mean, Bert?
Bert: Um, I think he means they’re old, Ernie. This must be adult humor—I’m not getting any of these.
Gonzo: (leaning over to Bert): Trust me—it’s not you.
Uncle Deadly: I’m kindof liking this. I usually enjoy seeing people suffering.
Piggy: Do you mean us or him?
Uncle Deadly: Point taken, or porcine one.
Count: That’s One! One good point!
Fozzie: Oh yeah? Well, if you get any older I'll bury you guys in that box.
Count: Ah ha! Good, I can wisit my relatives.
Fozzie: (somewhat scared): R-r-relatives?
Ed: Yeah, his family's into land rights... The cemetary rights!
Count: And I can always dig up an uncle or aunt. Literally.
Fozzie: Um, wocka wocka wocka. Why did the farmer climb up on the pigpen to eat his supper?
Piggy: (warningly) Fozzie!
Fozzie: (gulping) Um, because he wanted to eat high on the hog.
Piggy: You are so toast.
Kermit: Run, Fozzie!
Fozzie: What?
Kermit: RUN! (waves arms about head)
Fozzie flees the room.
Catherine: Um, thanks for coming everyone. We’ll try this again some other time—if I can catch Fozzie before Piggy does.
Ed: Hmmm, hope our heckling didn't scare him too much.
Count: Vhat vas truly scary vas his act.
Ed; Mmm, I think I’ve figured out what's wrong with this place.
Count: Vhat?
Ed: The seats face the stage.
Catherine: (hurriedly) Um—thanks for coming everybody! I’ll let you know if we’re going to do this again.
Scooter: Take your time!
Gonzo: No rush, okay?
Oscar: Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Sara: Poor Fozzie!!!

Scooter: Poor Fozzie? Poor us! We had to sit through another one of his acts again. It's either strange, old, or it's just plain not funny!

Sara: I sorta liked it.

Scooter: Because he reminds you of one of your old teddy bears, that's why. You just think he's so soft and huggable.

Sara: *closes her eyes, a small smile creeping across her face* Yeah...a little I guess. But either way, I like cornball jokes. That's why I had a hard time not laughing. Screwed up, cornball jokes I laugh at.

Scooter: I sure noticed.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

MN: (muttering in general direction of computer) Infernally slow server...I've seen snails go faster than that.
Nora: Computer problems again?
MN: Oh, they're perennial. (leans back in chair) Then again, I might have to run a virus scan or something.
Nora: Great. Another person or thing in here who's sick. Just when I got over my cold.
MN: And don't you be thinking about getting sick again, all right? Otherwise we'll have to put you in quarantine.
Nora: What?!
MN: (laughs) Just joking.
Storyteller: Oh, Erin, if the computer freezes up just kick it.
MN: Hmmm...well, they don't mention that in the manual...but I'll try that next time, perhaps.

 

[BEAR]

Bry: Kyle is back, but he said you guys can stay another night if you want to.
Maurice: Are you sure?
Grover: We would not want to be any trouble.
Bry: No, Grover. No trouble at all. We really like having you here. You know why?
Grover: Because we are so cute and lovable?
Bry: Well...that, and you're fun!
Grover: Aww you are so nice! Ha ha ha!
Bry: I think the others went to bed already. What do you say the three of us watch a little TV.
Maurice: Sounds good to me. I think the Tonight Show is on right now.
Grover: Oh goodie! I really like to watch J.
Bry: Yeah, Jay Leno is pretty cool.
Grover: Not Jay Leno. The letter J!
Bry: The letter J?
Grover: Of course.
Maurice: (turns the TV on and on the screen is a talk show hosted by a talking letter J with big grey hair) See?
Bry: (Surprised) You weren't kidding.
Grover: Then after that is Conan O'Brien.
Bry: Oh okay. I know that show.
Maurice: The band on the show is the best.
Bry: Yeah, Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7.
Maurice: No other number plays the guitar quite like the 7 in that band.
Bry: *sigh* Umm...r-ight.

Hoots: (outside the window in a tree) Well, cats, looks like those are the sponsors for today. The letter J and the number 7. That reminds me...I should give Max Weinberg a call about doing a gig together. Goodnight!

 

[theprawncracker]

Me: Psst, *waking up Cookie and Herry* Hey guys, Kyle's back, so whenever you're ready you can head on back. I've gotta get to school.
Herry: Okay Ryan, thanks for taking care of us.
Me: No problem guys anytime. Oh and Cookie, I don't need that world history homework back...

 

[Erine81981]

Cookie M: Ok. Thanks again.

Herry: Thanks. *gets backpack*

Cookie M: *grabs his* Bye Ryan.

Herry: Bye.

Enter's room 26

Herry: Knock knock.

Cookie M: We here!

Hi guys! Glad to see ya'll back. *hugs them both*

Herry: Glad to be back. How's your friend?

He's doing fine. Just wanted to hang out for awhile. How was ya'll sleep over?

Cookie M: Good!

Herry: Cookie here ate Ryan's homework.

What?

Herry: But Ryan told him he don't need it back.

*whew* Thank goodness. At 1 guys. I'm heading over to my Granny's. She needs her lawn mowed.

Herry: Ok. Me and Cookie Monster will go to the store to get some stuff.

Ok. Wonder when Grover and Maurice will be back? Oh well. I'm cooking some Mac and chesse.

Cookie M: Oh boy! Me favorite. *rubbing hands together*