Link: Speaking of badges...
A cop pulled me over last night and searched my car. He found my Sergeant's badge from my old act on "Bear on Patrol". He confiscated it telling me that it's illegal to impersonate an officer. When I told him that it wasn't a real cop badge and that I was a pig, he took offense and wrote me a ticket.
Me: The officer took offense when you said you were a pig?
Link: I think he percieved it as a roundabout way of making fun of him.
Me: What is the ticket for?
Link: Moral degradation of an officer of the law.
Me: That's a load of baloney. We're fighting this all way, Linky-baby.
Link: I don't know, I hate to stir up trouble with the law.
Me: You know what? Nine times out of a hundred you fight the law and the law wins. This is a fight worth fighting, and I'm going to fight this fight with you as long as you fight. And if we both fight and get others to fight with us, then the fight will be won. Because sooner or later, the law will grow weary of fighting, and drop the fight, realizing that the fighting is pointless and that your ticket is a load of crud. It's these kinds of fights that end up in the history books, Link. It's a fight for our freedom, it's a fight for our rights, it's a fight for the good of man, woman and pig-kind. Are you with me?
Link: I think I'm just going to pay the $5 ticket and have it over with.
Me: Oh. Ok, have it your way. I'm going to go back to my room and munch on some cookies that I took from Grover's party.
Link: Actually, I had those with me the other night and the police man took those, too.
Me: That's it!!! To the courthouse!