Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
(Acts oblivious to the whole scene, giddily gives the turtle a light pet on the head)
Claudia, don't you get distracted now.
Feed the little turtle.
Poor thing looks so famished.

Claudia:
Prunella?
Bunnie, do I look like a Prunella...?

Bunsen:
Didn't know names had to match with faces.
You're quite the eccentric type!
Look at the time!
We must go...
Bye bye, everyone!

Much to do, so little time!

Beaker:
(Balls up a fist and punches Tony)

Claudia:
EEEE!

Bunsen:
It's only a side-effect, Claudia.
He'll be less violent when the clock strikes twelve!

Claudia:
What time is it now?

Bunsen:
Exactly 10:55!

Beaker:
(Pulling Tony's hair)

Claudia:
Business man who gets everything from a truck?
(Smiles cheesily)

Thanks, but no thanks.
Here's 50 cents for free.
(Hands it to him)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Like, I needed those for the vending machine!

Claudia:
(Glares)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Oh, look!
I have money!
(Laughs nervously)
Ooohh Compostaaaa!

Composta:
What you do to my Pumpkin?

Claudia:
Nothing, Mrs. Neuter!
Honest I did nothin'!

Composta:
Pumpkin be so mean to Claudia?
(Drags him by the ear)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Honeybun, no!
It was her fault!
Like, sweetie, listen to meeeee...
(Voice fades as he is dragged away)

Claudia:
(Does a Dr. Evil pose)
It's a hardknock life.
Can you dig it?

Beaker:
(Plucks a hair from Tony's eyebrow)

Bunsen:
Lefty, where'd you get such excellent mercha-

The gang:
Fell off a truck.

Bunsen:
Ooohhh.

Claudia:
(Suddenly hears Kathy)
Not gonna go.
So Kyle's all yours, gal!
I'm going with Bunsen!

But we are still gonna meet.
Promise you that!

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony: Ow! Beaker! Knock it off! Bunsen! Oof! He keeps...ow...hitting me!

Lefty: Hey Claudia, check dis out! Maestro!

(Music begins, as Lefty swings/sways)

Lefty:

How would you like to buy an O,
Circular and sweet,
A nearly poifect coicle,
La la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
And it'll cost ya...nuthin'!

Dat's right! Dis poifect O will cost ya nothin', Claudia, it's my gift to youse! Well, for tree cents. Ta cover my end of da bargain. I gotta make some kinda profit!

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:

NocandoLeftygottago!
Let's GO Bunsen!
We've taken up too much time in here.
He's starting to sing...and make things free!
It's the apocalypse, I tell you!
Beaker is plucking Tony's eyebrow!
OH GOSH!
(Runs out of the room with Bunsen at hand)

Beaker:
(Creeps up on Tony, until...)

Claudia:
(Returns for Beaker and runs)
THE WORLD IS GONNA END!

Bunsen:
Finally.
That Lefty was irksome.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony does his patented Charlton Heston in "Planet of the Apes" impression...

This room is a MADHOUSE! A MADHOUSE!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

(falls to his knees)

Out! Everybody out! I need to work, and I need QUIET!

 

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *kneels and knocks on her floor*

Sweetums: What are you doing?

Alex: *motions for him to wait and be quiet* *yells to the floor* Tony! You DO realize whom you're rooming with? There's no way you're gonna get some quiet.....

Sweetums: I don't get it.....

Alex: *rolls eyes* His room is directly below mine.... he can hear me through the floor.

Sweetums: Oh cool! Let me try! *stomps on the floor* Hey Tony! *stomps again* *his foot goes through* Oops.....

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Sweetums, did you poke a hole through the cieling again?
(Goes back into Tony's room)
Having a Kermit moment, Tony?

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony looks up, as pieces of ceiling rain down on his face. He does a slow burn...

Tony (spits a piece of ceiling out of his mouth) P-tooey! (regains composure) Oh, hey Alex! How are ya? Sorry about the noise. Had a little Kermit moment there, heh heh. Um...so, do you have your dress for the awards, yet?

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
Yeah, I gave her the dress.
Took me such a LONG time to knit!

Bunsen:
You knit?
How surprising!

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Looks bashful)
Oh...really?

Claudia:
(Rolls eyes)

 

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *whispering* Sweetums get your foot out of there!

Sweetums: *trying to whisper* It's a little stuck....

Alex: *tugging at Sweetums foot*

Sweetums: *his foot pops out*

Alex: *looking through the hole* Sorry about this Tony.... we'll get Biff and Sully over to fix it..... Yeah, Phil made my dress for me! It's quite pretty.....

 

[Winslow Leach]

I can't wait to see it, Alex! A Van Neuter of Paris Original, eh?

Oh, don't worry about the ceiling. I'm used to having things...er...drop on my head...

(another chunk of ceiling hits Tony on the head)

See? I'm quite used to it.

(sings)

I'm singin' in the rain,
Just singin' in the raaaaaain...

(more ceiling falls)

Oooh! It's snowing! Oh boy!

(sings)

Walking in a winter wonderland....