Happy Friday, folks! So, I was going to post this tomorrow, but I'm apparently I'm bored enough that I couldn't decide what to do and instead, I decided to post this before I take a nap. We're headed to the end of this here, with chills and thrills and spills, and yeah. So without further ado....
X.
It had been weeks since the theft of the famed Rheingold Ruby and it seemed even longer since La Chance had held it in his hands. His search for Carter Smythe had seemed to grind to a halt, with no signs of the boy and worse, the place and person he knew had the ruby seemed to be untouchable.
It had been a stroke of luck that he had pulled up to the Ocean museum one Sunday to see Miss Piggy and the Great Gonzo leaving, together. He had been outraged at knowing these two seemed to be ruining his life at the moment and he had taken off behind them with the very thought that he was going to end this once and for all.
But that intelligence of his, that had gotten him out of many a scrapes, kicked in when he had discovered the very elusive home of the pig. Taking note of the area and address, he’d continued on with following the blue daredevil, noting the address of his dwelling as well.
La Chance was starting to get the feelings that these felt creatures weren’t as stupid as he originally thought. He had considered breaking in to both places, knowing that their schedules were usually taken up by that show of theirs, however after much thought, he realized they couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to hide a priceless ruby within their own homes.
That meant he needed to think of something else.
And that something else hinged on the fact that these two Muppets didn’t live alone.
It was pretty much all over the world that the leading lady and the de facto leader were shaking up in that cozy little mansion of theirs and with some checking, La Chance had learned that the weirdo was taken with some show chicken that had been on the show.
Those would be his aces should they not cooperate with him.
For the moment, La Chance was trying to figure what their angle was. Perhaps they weren’t aware they had even had the ruby in their possession; but if that was true, why were they at the museum? He certainly hadn’t heard that the ruby had been returned, so if they were aware of it, why hadn’t they gone to the police?
Perhaps they were trying to shake him down, blackmail him for something. If that was true, why hadn’t they contacted him?
More and more questions were buzzing around in his head and on a spur of the moment decision, he decided to take a chance and see what this show of theirs was. So that next Sunday, he was one of the audience members to watch the return of Piggy and Gonzo after a two week hiatus.
He wasn’t interested in the show – personally, he thought it was the stupidest, most insane thing he had ever subjected himself to – and to be frank, his interest had waned after the show’s opening, however it was a quick glance to his right that caused him to not only panic, but to rethink everything he had thought.
Not wanting to draw attention to himself, La Chance had put himself in the back of the theater, trying to keep to himself and not engage with anyone around him. He had thought he was doing a good job until he glanced to his right and noticed one of the detectives he had seen at the museum a few days after the heist.
Had they followed him there? If so, why hadn’t they approached him?
The detective had stood immediately after Piggy and Gonzo’s set and La Chance couldn’t stop his curiosity at following him. He had been surprised when the Muppet officer had left the theater and then went around the backdoor to the backstage area. Royce wasn’t stupid; he knew a trap when he saw one, so he had cautiously blended into a crowd that had walked by and hid himself in the shadows.
What seemed like hours was in actuality just minutes, the end of the show allowing for audience and cast members alike to spill out onto the streets of Hollywood and LA. La Chance waited, wanting to see if the cops truly were here and truly were aware that he was in the vicinity.
You could have knocked him over with a feather when moments later, both officers walked out with Gonzo in between them. He may not have thought anything until the cuffs were placed on him before they placed him in their unmarked patrol car. The thought hit him immediately.
The police thought the Muppets were involved with the theft.
He was relatively scott free!
But again, there was the issue of the ruby and where its location was. And La Chance was convinced that both the pig and the weirdo knew that location.
Two days later, La Chance was still trying to figure out what exactly was going on. Pacing in his apartment, he was piecing things together and not making any sense while doing it. The police obviously thought the Muppets, or at least Gonzo, were involved somehow in the museum robbery, but why?
Did they know where the ruby was? Again, if they did, why hadn’t they gone to the police?
Perhaps they had, but the police were trying to spring a trap to get the real guilty party to confess.
Stopping in his movement, La Chance pondered that. Maybe that was the plan and unfortunately for him, there was one last weak link that could easily be guilted into showing up at the police station. Then of course, the police would need to actually broadcast the fact that one of the Muppets had been arrested.
The question was, would they?
Looking out of the window during his musings, La Chance couldn’t help but notice one of the cars that sat outside near his apartment, parked on the side with some of the other cars on the street. He may not have even given it a second glance if he hadn’t been sure he had seen the car before.
There were certainly a lot of Mini Coopers in the world, being a fairly popular car, and there were of course a lot of black Mini Coopers that went out on the street to the general public; however a midnight black Mini Cooper with weird quirky designs on it was a sight he had not seen in California before.
At least not before he had appeared at an inquest and had been to the Muppet Theatre.
Storming out of his apartment, he quickly took the elevator down to the first floor, before heading outside and walking across the street to the car. Just as he suspected, the driver was still there, sitting behind the wheel and seemingly playing around on an iPad.
“Well, well, well,” he sneered, leaning over and looking into the driver’s side window. “Mr. Grosse, I presume.”
La Chance had never met Scooter Grosse, at least not in person, but he had heard the name enough times to make him sick. He had seen this exact car sitting in the parking lot as he drove up to a small office in order to present his case against the Muppets; he hadn’t even gotten out of the car when he had received a call from his lawyer telling him to not even bother coming down because there was no case.
Grosse, the frog, and their lawyers had shot down whatever case they had wanted to make against the pig and the weirdo.
“Hello,” replied the Muppet, smiling widely at someone who deeply considered him to be a nemesis.
“Is there a reason you’re here?”
“I’m looking at apartments,” came the assistant’s answer. “See, the lease in my current residence is about to come up…”
“So you decided to just drive around and look for a new place to live,” La Chance interrupted. “And then you just so happened to come by my apartment complex. Really, Grosse, what kind of fool do you take me for?”
Shrugging, Scooter said, “I dunno. Your average run of the mill type fool, I guess. Why? What kind of fool do you take yourself for?”
La Chance knew he couldn’t take a chance of starting something right there in the open; not if he wanted to keep himself out of jail. “I want you out of my neighborhood,” he growled.
“It’s a free country,” Scooter chuckled. “Or didn’t you know that?”
“You listen to me, you four eyed felt freak,” La Chance muttered, leaning in closer to the Muppet. “I’m not stupid by any means; I know what kind of game you’re playing. You may have won the battle, Grosse, but I assure you there’s a much bigger war that you might not even be aware of. And I guarantee you, I plan and will win it. Now, get out of my sight.”
Clearing his throat, Scooter responded with, “Alright.” He placed his iPad in the laptop bag that was seated next to him and started the car. “Pleasure speaking with you, Mr. La Chance,” he said. “Good day.”
La Chance watched as the Muppet drove off, however he was still incensed by what he felt was an intrusion on his very property and person. If he hadn’t been convinced that the group was up to something, this certainly sealed it.
The time for playing around with these nutjobs was over.
[hr]
Scooter Grosse could honestly say he had never been loyal to anyone in his life before he’d joined the Muppets. Situations and events had almost made sure that he would start and end his life as a loner, not because he wanted to be, but it was just the way he had grown up and had been raised.
In his loyal days as go-fer, stage manager, and assistant, Scooter had done many a thing for his friends, especially for one diva known as Miss Piggy. For all purposes, the young Muppet was essentially Piggy’s go to guy when it came to schemes; in most, those schemes were directed at Kermit, who had been in such denial when it came to his feelings about his leading lady.
Maybe Scooter was trying to do a parent trap – elaborate plans in which to get the two most influential people in his life together on a permanent basis – he didn’t know, but it pretty much cemented his feelings on the two and the rest of the group. So it had come as no surprise that he would of course use his own influence and standing as heir to the Grosse business fortune to get his favorite diva out of trouble.
Apparently that loyalty also extended to possibly getting her into even more trouble.
Scooter took his job as eyes and ears within the theater personally and he did what he could to make sure that he kept up on everything that was going on around him. He wasn’t stupid in any means; when the police show up at your door inquiring about two of your co-stars, you know something’s amiss.
When they show up again to ‘escort’ one of those co-stars downtown with them, you know there’s gonna be trouble.
He hadn’t been surprised that Gonzo hadn’t been at the Monday morning meeting, nor had he been surprised at Kermit’s offhand comment that the stunt weirdo was ‘running errands’, causing Rowlf to look at him in surprise, Dr. Teeth to lean back and whistle, non-chalantly, and for the assistant to turn an inquisitive eye on their leading lady.
And he hadn’t been surprised when Piggy had held him back afterwards.
“I wanna know what’s going on,” he immediately said, catching the diva off guard. “And I know something’s going on. The police aren’t usually knocking on our doors and taking our cast members away, so I have a feeling that we both know where Gonzo is right now. And I’m not even going to mention that Doc apparently also knows what’s happening, so spare me with the whitewash.”
Piggy couldn’t help but smirk at him. She knew there was no point in questioning how Scooter knew some of the things he did, because it would basically defy explanation.
“I’ve always known you had a good and intelligent head on your shoulders, Andrew,” she replied, smoothly. “Moi would try to give you a little song and dance about what’s going on, but we both know it wouldn’t be true and that vous has ways of finding things out. That’s actually why Moi has kept you back.”
And that’s when she told him everything – how she, Gonzo, and Doc had discovered the ruby in the gas tank, how the police had come at that exact same moment, how she figured Gonzo would be at the top of their list should they hand over the ruby to them, how they had hidden it, how they had checked out the museum in the aftermath, and how she was convinced that Royce La Chance was involved.
The assistant sometimes could not imagine half the things they could find themselves in; sometimes he wondered if their movies didn’t actually mirror their lives at some point, which in some cases – especially when they involved Kermit and Piggy – did occur, when their life intruded on their scenes.
But Scooter was as loyal as they came and he had especially shown his loyalty to Piggy on more than one occasion. There had never been a time in which he said he didn’t plan on helping her, because he always did.
And that’s how he found himself sitting outside of Royce La Chance’s apartment building Monday afternoon. Given his technological background, it hadn’t been difficult for Scooter to find the man’s residence and he had headed out on the quest that he was looking for an apartment. He had scanned the building, checked out the inside, and had even consented to an actual tour of the area by management.
While on the surface this looked like a legitimate potential resident – and Scooter had to admit that the apartments were very nice – Scooter was there for intel.
Scooter had only scratched the surface of who Royce La Chance was – playboy, some said, attaché and child of diplomats – but the assistant knew that there was always more to a story. In fact, that’s what he had been doing when the very man had confronted him Tuesday afternoon.
It was certainly a test of his acting abilities that made it seem as though the man had caught him by surprise; in actuality, Scooter had seen the man coming as soon as he walked outside, allowing him to switch from the profile he had up on La Chance to that of area apartments that he could continue to ‘look’ at. Driving away, Scooter had gotten the alarming sense that Royce La Chance was a man with nothing to lose and those kind of men were the most dangerous.
“Call Piggy,” he commanded, instructing his car to dial the diva’s number.
“Calling the Divine Miss P,” the car responded. “Is this correct? Say yes to dial, no to cancel.”
“Yes.”
The car connected the call and Scooter only needed to wait for two rings before the familiar, “Talk to me.”
“The dark deed you’ve requested has been done.”
He heard her chuckle on the other end. “Dark deed, huh?”
“Well,” he said. “If having to talk to Royce La Chance could be compared to, you know, jumping into a lava pit, then yeah.”
“You got caught?” Piggy asked in surprise. “That’s not like you.”
“Please,” he said. “It’s me. He may think he caught me, but that’s what I wanted him to think. No, I sat right outside his window for two days and got a profile on him.”
“And?”
“Personally, I think he’s hiding something,” he responded, honestly. “I won’t know till I hit those police reports, if he has any. I also want to check out that list of racers that were involved.”
“Well,” Piggy sighed. “Det. Day mentioned that two of them were the two thieves that had been killed. And get this – I just saw footage of the race and turns out one of the racers took off in the middle of it.”
“Yeah, I remember that,” the page murmured. “Kermit mentioned it when we were talking about that spectacular end. I’ll check him out.”
“What for?”
“How many racers do you know that sign up for a race, then take off in the middle of it?” he asked. “There’s something weird there. I’ll feel better once I figure it out. And what’re your plans for the day? And I hope your answer is keeping out of trouble.”
“Cute,” she said. “Moi plans on getting our poor little weirdo out of jail.”
“You do have a get out of jail card,” Scooter said. “Do let me know if you have any issues.”
“I shouldn’t,” she said. “Technically, they only have him on suspicion and unless there’s some evidence I’ve overlooked, they have no choice but to let him go. That is, as long as he hadn’t been singing his troubles away to the cops. Moi will let you know if we need assistance. Oh, I’m sure this goes unsaid, but the less the frog knows, the better.”
“I can’t imagine he doesn’t know what’s going on.”
“Oh he knows,” she replied. “And he knows what Moi wants him to know. Gotta go!”
The phone hung up, which caused Scooter to shake his head. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
[hr]
Sunday Night
Gonzo wasn’t exactly a stranger to being in a police station. Luckily, his luck with the law usually extended to his shows and acts getting a little out of hand, but it was certainly nothing as bad as being literally arrested for theft. Despite going from job to job and a brief time of living out of his truck, the stunt weirdo had the good sense to only toe the line of the law and not overstep it.
He really wanted to be mad at Piggy about this, he really did, but he just couldn’t. He knew she had the best of intentions with this; yes, it meant that he was now being questioned by the police, but in the beginning, what she had said made sense. If he had gone to the police, he probably still would be sitting in this chair, sitting under this dim light, and sitting across from two police detectives.
They just managed to push it off for the moment.
“I’m sure you’re a bit tired after that performance tonight,” Day began, placing two folders on the table in front of him.
Gonzo shrugged. “Not really,” he said. “It’s kinda hard to come down from a show like that, you know? The excitement and everything.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” the detective nodded. “Let’s not waste time, shall we? You know why you’re here.”
Gonzo tried to play it off as though no, he didn’t know why he was there. “Parking tickets?” he joked.
“Where is it?” Chesney demanded, slamming both hands on the table, which startled both the weirdo and the detective that sat next to the officer.
“Where’s what?”
“You know what,” the officer sneered. “Don’t try to play coy with us, Gonzo; this isn’t a show and we aren’t one of your fans.”
“What Officer Hollertz is alluding to, Mr. Gonzo,” Day replied. “Is that we know you and Miss Piggy know something about the ruby that was stolen.” Opening the folder he had shown to Kermit earlier, he said, “I showed this to your boss earlier.”
Gonzo looked at the images, ones that were obviously taken when he and Piggy were at the museum last week. While most had nothing to do with anything, the one where Piggy had literally grabbed his arm to take him away from some weird chicken exhibit was the picture that got him. He of course knew there was nothing there, but the image – especially catching the awkward moment where her pulling had caused him to stumble into her – was a whole can of worms that didn’t look right.
“You showed this to Kermit!?”
Day raised an eyebrow. “Is there a reason I shouldn’t have?” he asked, calmly.
“Are you kidding?” Gonzo exclaimed. “Do you have any idea the implications….the way this whole thing looks?”
The detective nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I actually do have some ideas. I see it two ways – one, you and Miss Piggy either know or have something to do with the Ocean museum robbery or two, you’re having an affair and keeping it secret from your so-called ‘friend’ the frog.”
“How dare you,” the weirdo snarled. Being accused of theft was one thing, but accusing him of not only cheating on the chicken he loved, but with his best friend’s girl was going over the line.
“Is that it?” asked Chesney. “You stole the ruby to win the pig’s heart? Win her away from the frog?”
“You’re going too far,” Gonzo whispered. “Accusing me of robbery is one thing, but insinuating that I’m cheating on my girlfriend with my best friend’s girl? That’s going below the belt, fellas.”
Day held up his hands in appeasement. “Okay,” he said, closing the folder. “That may have been a little too far, but you have admit, there are some strange things going on. Can you explain to me, Mr. Gonzo, why you and Miss Piggy felt the need to visit the Ocean, a day after we personally came in to ask you about the Rheingold Ruby?”
Shrugging, Gonzo stated, “We’re museum buffs. We like going to museums.”
“Sure,” Chesney chuckled. “And I bet the frog likes when his wife and best friend are there together.”
“Okay, first off,” the weirdo said. “They aren’t married, not for lack of trying believe me and certainly, they’re only a piece of paper away, but they aren’t. And secondly, I told you, nothing is going on between us. I can’t help it if we sometimes have things in common.”
“Like motorcycles,” Day replied.
“Yeah,” Gonzo nodded. “Like motorcycles.”
“Alright Gonzo,” Day nodded, pushing another folder towards him. “Let me tell you what we know.” Opening the folder, the daredevil was shown the image from a few of his routines, including his infamous highwire act over the laser security beams.
“You, and/or you and Miss Piggy, broke into the Ocean museum on Thursday night, the 19th. Obviously, the security system didn’t impede the process and the two of you managed to escape. To cover yourselves, you sign up for the Risen Corp race on that Saturday. Royce La Chance gummed your game by getting in that fight with you and the pig. Sound about right?”
“No,” Gonzo replied. “Not only is none of that true, but why in heaven’s name would I or Piggy, if either of us were involved, steal a priceless ruby? I don’t like to brag, but I am kind of a big deal.”
Day opened another folder, this one the profile that they had on Gonzo. “Gonzo’s Royal Flush,” he began. “One of the leading plumbing businesses in the states; sources say it made you a millionaire.”
“Billionaire, actually,” the stuntman corrected, smugly. “One of the richest plumbing magnates in the country. Like I said, I’m a big deal. I won’t even get into the fact that Piggy probably has me beat on that, with the many modeling gigs she’s done and not to mention she was the plus size editor for one of fashion’s top leading magazines. Again, detective, I ask, why would we need to steal a ruby?”
“Well Gonzo, that had been my question too,” Day said. “Then I kinda figured that while your business may have ‘made’ you, there’s no way you’d ever see those kinds of figures again as a, what do you call yourself?”
“Performance artist.”
“Right,” the detective continued. “I doubt that you’ll be able to make the kind of money you made when you were plumbing. As for Miss Piggy, I understand it that joining back up with the Muppets hit her rep a little with Vogue. Not to mention she’s got that nice house of hers to maintain. And I can’t imagine that any of the stuff you all need for your theater comes out of your pocket, right?
“Like I said, you or Miss Piggy, are strapped for cash or maybe the Muppets as a whole are strapped for cash. Or maybe it’s what Chez here said – that you’re trying to win the hand of the fair pig – either way, it gives you a reason to steal a priceless ruby.”
“You don’t have anything that could possibly tie me to this.”
“On the contrary,” Day countered. “You’re a stuntman and those photos prove that not only are you pretty surefooted, you don’t seem to be afraid of anything. Two, you were a participant in the very race that our dead suspects were also signed up for. Three, you were seen at the scene of the crime and we have proof that you and Miss Piggy were at the museum and checking out the aftermath of a police investigation.”
“It’s noted that criminals sometimes like to return to the scene of the crime,” Chesney added, with a glare.
“Fourth,” Day continued. “You have probable cause for stealing the ruby – you either want to rebuild the fortune you lost or two, you want to impress your best friend’s girl. I know you say you aren’t -” He held up a hand to stop Gonzo’s interruption. “But I’d like to note that there’s some evidence that states you have a crush on the leading lady.”
“That was a long time ago,” Gonzo whispered.
“Maybe,” Day replied. “But sometimes torches don’t always go out. You’ll understand when we ask you to stay the night, don’t you?”
Gonzo sat back in his chair and sighed. “Not like I have anything better to do.”
[hr]
Sunday night turned into Monday, which turned into Tuesday morning and then Tuesday afternoon.
Gonzo couldn’t imagine the kinds of questions that everyone may have had at Monday morning’s meeting and he could only hope that Piggy and Kermit would’ve covered for him. But even those questions would’ve been easier to answer than that of the ones that Det. Day and Officer Hollertz were drilling him about.
Sunday night had been probably the nicest conversation he could have with the detective and his partner, but by the time Monday afternoon rolled around, the weirdo was nearly close to just telling them everything. They had been asking him question after question, usually the same ones, before making him tell his story again, from the beginning.
He told them how he found out about the race, what happened at the race, the fight that had taken place at the end, the whole legal entanglement with Royce La Chance, and so on. Then he had to rewind and tell it again. Then he rewound that and started from the very beginning – how he met Kermit, how he met Piggy, how the Muppets got together, the reason they broke up, how he got into plumbing, how he got back into plumbing, etc.
The questioning was weighing on his mind and right as he was about to just spill the beans about everything, about finding the ruby, about Piggy’s insistence that La Chance was involved, even the mysterious kid that he had been talking to, his savior walked in and broke him from the monotony.
Another officer poked his head into the room where the questioning was taking place, stating, “The pig’s here to bail Gonzo out.”
“Thanks, Charlie,” Day replied, nodding to the officer. Looking at the weirdo, he said, “I guess that’s it.”
“I guess so,” Gonzo said, standing. “It’s been a pleasure, gentlemen. We must do this some other time, like the fourth of never.”
Blowing out the breath he had been holding, the stuntman made his way to the front reception desk, not surprised to see Piggy waiting for him. “Tell me you’re here to get me out,” he muttered.
Piggy glared at him. “Come on,” she huffed. “It’s me. You haven’t been talking out of school, have you?”
“Only out of detention,” the weirdo said. “If that counts for anything.”
“Cheer up, mon amie,” she replied.
“Cheer up?” he asked, exasperated. Looking at the officer at the desk, he said, “Cheer up, she tells me. Now that is the most unnecessary thing she’ll ever say.” With a last glance to the diva, he asked, “You ready, Hopalong?”
“I told you,” she huffed. “Moi is always ready, Halliday. Giddy up then.”
The two began to head out, only to be met by Det. Day as they neared the door. “No hard feelings, Gonzo,” he stated. “Just trying to do our jobs.”
“I know that.”
“Because I would actually hate to see the two of you in further trouble than you are now.”
“Meaning?” Piggy asked, suspiciously.
Day stepped closer to the duo and whispered, “I know you’re up to something and I know you’re hiding something. I just hope whatever it is, is worth it.”
“Det. Day,” Piggy began. “First, let me say that you have been incredibly understanding through this entire event, which is why Moi feels it’s important to let you know how much we appreciate it. Let’s say, hypothetically speaking of course, that Gonzo and Moi not only happen to know where the ruby is, but who stole it. We’d be doing you a favor by getting that particular person of interest into your waiting hands, wouldn’t you say?”
Up until that point, Day had kept his cool when dealing with this group, but that statement just tore it. Were they actually suggesting that they had been holding up an investigation because they wanted to play hero themselves?
“Do me a favor?” he asked, incredulously. “The only favor you should be doing, Miss Piggy, is getting that ruby to me or Officer Hollertz and keeping yourselves out of jail. The two of you may be stars now, but all it’ll take is one slip up and the two you will find yourselves the stars of a maximum security prison.
“This isn’t some 1940s caper; this is the real deal. This guy isn’t just capable of breaking, entering, and theft; if we’re right, he’s also a murderer, three times over. If anything, I’d be doing you a favor by booking you and locking you both up because if our guy ever finds out you have the ruby, you can bet he isn’t going to care that you’re Hollywood types.
“Now, you’re both lucky we don’t have enough evidence to hold you and quite frankly, Gonzo, I don’t think you’re capable of murder, but mark my words. The two of you are interfering in a police investigation that has now garnered international attention, which could be grounds to arrest you for obstruction of justice. I want that ruby and I want it by the end of the week. Understood?”
“Yes sir,” Piggy mumbled, along with Gonzo who just nodded.
“Good,” the detective said. Nodding to complete the statement, he turned and headed back to his desk.
“This is starting to get serious.”
Gonzo turned to her. “You think?”
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
Gonzo go bye-bye?
Yeah man, the little blue dude's been carted a-waaay.
Like, shouldn't we do something to, like, you know, help?
Most indubitably. But the porcine pulcritudinousness already has us beat on that angle.
Then let's provide the chase with a little traveling music.
to have a fully interactive car with computerized phonebank and dialing capabilities. LaChance doesn't have a chance against 
and 
Why is it called interfering with a police investigation if the Muppets are the ones carrying on the real investigation? If anything, it's more like a case of interference by a police investigation.