Just because I like to stir things up a bit, I present to you... Survey Madness!

[Gonzo]

Originally posted by anathema
This story, however, takes the cake: around Bonfire Night the year before last, two kids in the road: one standing in the mouth of the T-junction opposite my house, holding a skateboard, the other standing on the opposite side of the road aiming lit fireworks at the first kid for him to bat away as if they were cricket balls...

*raises hand sheepishly*

Uh....I've done that...only it was like baseballs for me.

Cause I didn't know what cricket was!

Of course, I also set my driveway on fire once. When I was 24. But it was MY driveway, not my NEIGHBOR'S.

Yeah, for sure I'm ditching the kid's skateboard...not sure exactly what I'll do with it. I may dismantle it and leave him the board itself, so he knows it's not just stolen or missing...and then he'll spend the money to replace the wheels, and I'll take them again...

Send a message.

I feel bad for the kid's mom, because they can't afford it, but if they can afford all the snacks whose wrappers are continually in my yard, then she can afford to discipline her beastly child.

Quinnnnnnnnnn

 

[anathema]

Last year's Bonfire Night went one step further. Apparently a kid fired a firework directly at an oncoming car. The thing went straight through the windscreen and out the back. I don't think anyone was hurt, fortunately. And my mother reported that she saw cars kerbcrawling, with the occupants throwing lit fireworks out the windows at kids walking home from school.

The problem is that it's far too easy for kids to obtain fireworks over here - there have even been reports of them playing with industrial fireworks! Some of it'll be unscrupulous shopkeepers, some will be theft, and some will be irresponsible parents or older siblings. I'd be in favour of a ban on the wretched things - risks aside, I'm thoroughly sick of the noise, which runs from late September to early December. Actual displays, even those run in peoples' back gardens, are fairly quiet affairs. Noise = kids.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Originally posted by anathema
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.'

So that was nice.

HAA HAAA!! LOL!! (REALLY!) THAT WAS FUNNEEEE!!!

 

[anathema]

I thenkyew!


- Doctor, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home".

- That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.

- Is it common?

- It's not unusual...

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Hey, that's "A" class material, man.

Who's your writer??

 

[Janice & Mokey's Man]

Alex's jokes

LOL!!

 

[anathema]

Here's another!

This one is - literally - a stinker: you have been warned...


A man goes to his doctor with an unusual complaint: every time he breaks wind, it makes a sound like someone saying the word 'honda'. You know, like the cars. The doctor is puzzled - he's never seen anything like it - and asks the patient for a demonstration. The man complies, and sure enough, "honda!". The doctor doesn't know what it could be, and sends the man to see a specialist.

The patient describes his symptoms to the specialist, who immediately diagnoses an abcess in the man's butt. The man is amazed: "You could tell that without even examining me?" he asks. "Sure," says the specialist, "haven't you heard? Abcess makes the fart go 'honda'..."

 

[anathema]

Originally posted by Fozzie Bear
Hey, that's "A" class material, man.

Who's your writer??

As Unca Cece would put it, The Teeming Millions...

 

[Fozzie Bear]

HA HAAA!!!

LOL@YOUUU!!!!





*Passes out from laughing so much!!*

 

[anathema]

Originally posted by Fozzie Bear
HA HAAA!!!

LOL@YOUUU!!!!





*Passes out from laughing so much!!*

Quick! Fetch the joke-to-joke resucitation equipment!

*applies power*

BZZZZT!

If this doesn't work, we may have no option but to try The Worst Joke In The World(tm)...