(It is not quiet IN Apartment 5, but it is quiet FOR Apartment 5. Except for a small, concussive *BOOM* from Gonzo's room, all is the usual rumble and bustle.)
Ru: (looking over her reading glasses at Rizzo) Um, should we go find out what that was?
Rizzo: (NOT looking up from his tablet) Nope. Trust me. I don't want to know, and I'm positive you don't want to know. If we hear sirens, we'll go check on the little weirdo.
Ru: (Uncertainly) Um...okay. (Attempts to go back to her writing.)
(There is the sound of a key in the lock, and Kermit opens the door. Behind him, Fozzie is talking nonstop, as is Piggy, and Kermit is carrying all the bags and turning from one to the other apparently keeping up with both conversations equally well.)
Fozzie: --but it wasn't the milkman, it was the mailman! Get it? Get it, Kermit?
Piggy: --so I told Marty that unless he had something better to show me, Moi was going to spend the summer out by the pool in a bikini reading trashy novels, and he said--
Kermit: What? Oh--oh, yeah Fozzie, Got it. Ha ha. That was, um, that was a good one. (turning) Well, I like that idea Piggy, but what did Marty say?
Fozzie: Do you really think so? Cause I wasn't sure about the delivery. You know, timing is very delicate for comedy--
Kermit: You don't say.
Piggy: Kermit, of couse vous would be happy, but what about all of Moi's adoroing fans? And what will the paparazzi do while I am lazing around the pool?
Kermit: Um, take lots of photos?
Piggy: Oh, Kermit, vous are so silly. (She kisses him lightly on the cheek.)
Ru: Um, hi guys. What's up?
Rizzo: Yeah--what's the word?
Kermit: (dryly, eying the packages) Um, boing is the word that comes to mind. What's going on here? (Sniffs) Um, what's that smell.
Ru: So far, we haven't been brave enough to find out.
Kermit: Any sirens?
Rizzo: Naw.
Kermit: Well, then, it won't be as bad as last time, whatever it is.
Ruahnna: Works for me. How was your, um, (eyes packages) shopping trip?
Piggy: We didn't really go shopping. We went out for Thai food, and we stopped off at a couple of little places on the way....
Fozzie; (flatly) We stopped at nine shoe stores.
Piggy: Was it nine? Really? Moi could have sworn--
Kermit: (diplomatically) Well, one of them sold purses, too.
Ru: Oh. So you've eaten? (This last said very casually.)
(The incoming trio exchange glances, then look at Rizzo, who is gesturing wildly with his eyes.)
Kermit: Well, there was some problem with out reservation time, so we really only had appetizers. Have you all, um, eaten yet?
Ru: Sort of.
Rizzo: Not really.
(Everybody smiles at the same time.)
Ru: Pancakes are quick. And I have blueberries and whipped cream.
(Piggy murmurs something no one can quite hear, and Kermit giggles, then cleared his throat noisily.)
Kermit: Um, that sounds great, Ru. Need some help?
Piggy: But Kermie--vous were going to help me figure out where to put my new shoes.
Kermit: Oh. Well, but Piggy--you're so much better at closets than I'll ever be. Why don't you put your shoes away while I help set the table, then I'll come by later and let you show me what you've done.
Piggy: Well....
Kermit: Good! (kisses her quickly on the cheeks and sends her along her way.) We'll have everything ready here by the time you're done.
Fozzie: Need some help? I'm good at silverware.
Ru: Sounds terrific.
Rizzo: Think you could make some of those banana pancakes?
Ru: Anything for the birthday boy. I'm pretty sure I've got a frozen banana in the fridge. You want to check on your roomie? I think the smoke is clearing....