Frights, Camera, Action: A Muppet Mystery

[tutter_fan]

*shivers after reading all three chapters thus far* WOW! Talk about giving you the creeps, and the hee-bee jee-bees! I can't WAIT for the next chapter!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Yesindeed, this chapter was terrific! Didn't get the GOFH refference, but then agai, I've never seen the show.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Actually, it's a reference to the Great Muppet Caper - Knebworth House was where they filmed all the Mallory Gallery scenes - and the house is rumored to have quite a few resident ghosts.

And now, here is chapter four.

***

Chapter Four: Throwing Pies and Tossing Cookies

Up on the second floor landing, in his costume as the wicked Lord Wringing-Necke, Uncle Deadly struck a pose and burst into song.

“Sing once again with me, our strange duet…my power over you, grows stronger yet…”

“Wrong ghost, Uncle D.,” Rowlf cheerfully remarked as he adjusted the camera. “Okay, everybody, places for the reading of the will.”

In the parlor just off the main hall, most of the actors in the scene took their places, Sam as the lawyer and Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, Camilla and Lew Zealand as six of the seven heirs.

A roaring fire had been built in the fireplace, and a lumpy sofa and a group of uncomfortable armchairs had been shoved into a semicircle around the fire.

Sam primly strutted around in a pinstriped suit, holding a stack of legal documents under his wing. “I am grateful that I am allowed to play the one sane character in this ridiculous farce of a film.”

Uncle Deadly came downstairs and hefted a banana cream pie in his claw. “Scooter, are you sure I’m not allowed to hit my lawyer with one of these?”

“Sorry, Deadly, you can only hit the hapless seven,” Scooter said as he flipped through his clipboard. “Bunsen, how’s that fog machine looking?”

“Looks right as – “ Bunsen was cut off when the machine belched out a plume of thick gray smoke. “Beaker, pass me those electrodes and that bottle of tomato juice, please.”

“Mee…meep…” Beaker nervously responded.

“Let’s go, Scooter, you’re in this scene, too,” Skeeter said as she adjusted the badge on the police officer’s uniform she would wear in a later scene. Scooter nodded and went to join the others in the circle around the fire.

Rowlf settled himself behind the main camera, as Nora opened up the prompt book to page one.

“Okay, lights…camera…”

Suddenly, the door creaked open behind them.

“Cut!” Kermit called. “Who’s there?”

An eight-year-old girl Muppet with periwinkle blue skin and long, unruly pink hair skipped in, dragging a heavy bag behind her.

Nora sighed; the intruder was her sister Heather. “Heather, we’re kind of busy here, what’s going on?”

Heather dropped the bag on the floor and pulled off her pink and purple coat to reveal her brown and green Scouting Girl uniform. She opened a folder, whipped out a piece of paper and started to rattle off her well-practiced cookie-selling spiel. “Good day, everyone, I am selling cookies on behalf of the Scouting Girls, Hensonville Troop #5749. Please take it into your hearts to buy cookies to benefit our socially conscious organization.”

“And if we don’t?” Skeeter asked.

Heather grinned smugly. “If you won’t help out a group of socially-minded young girls who are trying to improve their community, I’ll give you a guilt trip that’ll last the rest of your life.”

“If she’s selling those caramel ones put me down for two boxes,” Gonzo called. Camilla clucked her agreement.

“Sorry, we’re all out of those, but we do have some delicious, succulent Licorice Splits…”

“Don’t eat those; they taste awful,” Nora interjected. “Heather, we’re busy. Go wait in the dining room or something.”

Heather pouted, turned on her heel and stomped out of the room, cookies in tow.

“All right, lights, camera, action!” Kermit called.
The red light on the camera blinked on.

Sam cleared his throat and started to read. “I, Lord Cyril Wringing-Necke, being of unsound body and even less sound mind…” Sam frowned.

“Keep reading!” Kermit stage-whispered.

“Do set my claws to this my last will and testament. To you, my heirs, I leave a challenge. Hidden somewhere on my estate is a treasure of great value – at least, to me. I have hidden the clues in my will, and all around the house, against the wishes of my stuck-up birdbrain of a lawyer…” Sam pursed his beak again. “And I invite you to try to find it. But beware, I haven’t made it easy for you.”

Nora pointed to Uncle Deadly, who, hidden from view, let loose with a maniacal, ghostly laugh that shook the parlor.

“And cut,” Rowlf said.

Kermit nodded. “Needs to go faster – and can we change the language in the script to be a little more urgent?”

***

One way or another, they got the reading of the will scene filmed.

They then switched gears to some of the clue finding scenes.

In one scene, Fozzie was supposed to look for a treasure clue behind a painting on the second floor.

“Action!” Rowlf called.

“All right…if you want to find the next clue’s place, look behind the painted face,” Fozzie read from a scrap of paper as he walked along the second floor balcony. “Painted face, wow, that could be hard…” He looked up and glanced at the painting. “A-ha!” He turned and looked down at the camera. “Boy, I’m good at this.”

He lifted the painting…right on cue, a booby-trapped banana cream pie shot out and splattered him in the face.

Fozzie stumbled backward…but suddenly, a section of the floor gave way beneath him!

“Fozzie!”

Everyone made a mad dash up the stairs, just in time to stop Fozzie from falling.

“Fozzie! Fozzie, are you all right?” Kermit demanded.

“Yeah, I’m fine…” Fozzie breathed. He looked ruefully at the hole in the floor. “Does this mean we’re doing another take?”

Bunsen looked at the hole. “Most peculiar. Even in its current condition, the floor should have been able to support the weight of an elephant.”

“Eeesh,” Kermit sighed. “First day on the set and we’re already having accidents.” He looked around. “Where did Robin go?”

“I sent him off to get the motorized rubber chickens,” Bunsen said. “I think they’re in the dining room.”

A scream erupted from that room, followed by the sound of boxes clattering to the floor.

“Heather!” Nora threw down her script and went running in the direction of the dining room, which was being used as a prop storage room.

Heather stood there, clutching her order forms folder to her chest and staring with horror at a corner of the room.

Robin sat perched on her shoulder, quaking.
Several boxes of Scouting Girl cookies lay scattered all around them on the floor, along with the rubber chickens.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Nora asked.

“Over there!” Heather pointed to a corner of the dining room. “A man in a suit, and a cape!”

“Yeah, he appeared out of thin air, and yelled at us to get out!” Robin chimed in.

All eyes turned in the direction of that corner. But no one, or nothing, was there.

“Come on, let’s clean up,” Kermit said. The gang started to help Heather pick up the fallen cookies.

“All right, those are the Mint Dreams, and there are the Crunch Times – hey! You eat those cookies, you pay for them!” Heather screeched.

Skeeter looked at her watch. “Come on, we’ve got time for one more scene before we have to go to that meetup at Jim’s Coffee Shop.”

The gang headed back to the main hall to plan the next scene, this one involving a few more pies and some rubber spiders.

So no one was in the dining room to see some Crunch Times, which had spilled out of a box and landed on the floor, rise up into the air as if lifted by an invisible hand, and disappear into thin air, bite by bite.

***

Stay tuned for Chapter Five, in which we take a coffee break, meet some familiar faces...and get introduced to some new characters who might have questionable intentions.

 

[The Count]

Yaey. Thank you for the update. I've always admired those who can write mystery stories, you have a definite knack for it. Please post ASAP.

BTW: When does Heather's cookie drive begin? And can we use this Reel Time as an excuse for stuff to do over at the HV City thread?

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Oh, yes you may.

As for the cookie drive - well, it sounds like she's been chomping at the bit recently, so you'll probably see her around soon.

 

[The Count]

Good... Just LMK when and I'll add it to the HV Events page.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

I will - in the story, I'm thinking it might take place in late February or early March. Probably down toward March. It's your call.

I'm working on chapter five right now - if it's not posted tonight, it will definitely be up by tomorrow night.

 

[The Count]

Heh... Methinks you've got some posts to go over in the HV City thread, as I posted both the cookie drive and film festival in the Events Calendar. Trying to leave some time between this, the neighborhood exploration, and March Muppet Madness tournament.

But enough of my plans... Post more story please!

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

All right, I'll go over the calendar. And I've got the cookie list put together, more or less.

Statler: (upstairs at coffee shop) Boy, there are some really talented moviemakers in this town.
Waldorf: And all of them were smart enough to stay home.

In this chapter, we see that the Muppets have more than ghosts to worry about, like a filmmaker with a deep-seated grudge, and a documentary host with manic ambition.

***

Chapter Five: Everybody Meets at Jim’s

Jim’s Coffee Shop was a two-story red brick coffee house near the center of town, within walking distance of the theaters and museums.

As the Mayhem bus ground to a stop in the municipal lot nearest the shop, music and chitchat could be heard drifting out.

“Please se-cure all your personal be-longings and keep your eyes on Mr. Step upon leaving this coolest of conveyances, ooh, yeah,” Dr. Teeth crooned as he ground the bus to a halt in a way that probably shredded the gears beyond repair.

Someone had taped a big sign on the door. “Welcome Reel Time contestants and judges – and movie buffs, artsy types and shameless poseurs.”

Kermit laughed. “Well, we’re Reel Time contestants, and we’re movie buffs and artsy types, so this is the place.”

“What about the shameless poseurs? We’re people, too!” Gonzo said plaintively.

The door swung open. The downstairs tables and the lounge area were full of people juggling coffee cups and plates of pastries. And talking about movies, of course.

“It’s called ‘Salad Days,’ it’s a wonderful romantic film about two young lovers who meet while manning the salad bar at an all-you-can-eat restaurant,” a middle-aged woman in pink gushed for the benefit of a bored-looking film critic for the Hensonville Observer.

A pair of spiral staircases led up to the second floor, where others sat at tables, drank coffee and watched the action down below.

On the lower steps, Gobo and Red sat talking with Wembley, Mokey and Boober about the next stage of their rock hockey movie. All five were sipping cups of Doozer stick mochas.

“And the hero, the great captain of the team…it’d be so romantic if he was playing in honor of an ailing family member, or a girlfriend,” Mokey swooned.

“All right, but no excessive mushiness,” Gobo said.

“And what are we doing about first-aid services for this movie?” Boober demanded. “I mean, the semi-finals scene is bound to land half the cast in the hospital!”

A few of the filmmakers sat at the bar. Among them was a young woman with long reddish-brown hair, who sat staring moodily into a cup of espresso and scribbling something on a notepad.

“Is that who I think it is?” Fozzie said.

Kermit glanced over. “Unfortunately, yes. I wonder if she’s still mad at us for that catapult scene.”

“Well, I did warn her about it well in advance,” Gonzo said.

“What’s going on?” Nora asked.

Scooter pointed to the woman. “That’s Danielle Wickham. She appeared on the show a while back…it didn’t go very well.”

“That’s an understatement,” Miss Piggy remarked as she shrugged off her coat. “She walked out of there yelling that we embarrassed her and that she’d revenge herself one day.”

Danielle Wickham glanced up from her espresso. When she spotted the Muppets, her eyes narrowed, and she immediately turned back to her notes.

Cecil dePille stood talking with a broad-shouldered man wearing jeans, a black polo shirt, a black baseball cap and a black jacket with a ghost across the back. The man let out a loud laugh that sounded forced.

Robin gaped. “No, it can’t be…yes, it’s him!”

“Who’s him?” Fozzie asked.

“That’s Perry Normal! That guy from Spook Seekers!” Robin said excitedly. “He and his gang go all around the country looking for ghosts in all these old houses!”

“Yes, I’m familiar with it,” Miss Piggy said airily. “I’m convinced that most of his ‘ghosts’ are faked so he can bring in the viewers…”

“Oh, way to throw a wet blanket on it, Miss Piggy,” Skeeter rolled her eyes.

It was then that Cecil spotted them. “Look who’s here!” He and Perry came over. “Perry, these are the famous Muppets, from the Muppet Show. Everyone, please meet the national television documentary star, Perry Normal.”

“Nice to meet you,” Perry said with tons of bravado.

“What brings you to Hensonville, Mr. Normal?” Kermit asked.

“Please, call me Perry. My crew and I are scouting out new haunted places to film and find ghosts in.”

“It sounds so daring and dangerous. Are all those places really haunted?” Miss Piggy asked in awestruck tones, completely forgetting all her previous disdain for “Spook Seekers.”

“Most are…but it’s not really obvious,” Perry said in hushed tones. “A drop in temperature, some off noises…those are some of the clues you look for. It’s really complex stuff, ghost hunting.”

“Then maybe you can help us,” Kermit said.

“We’re filming our movie up at Castle Irene, and that seems pretty haunted.”

Perry didn’t say anything, and the smile stayed on his face longer than was necessary to be sincere. “Castle Irene, you said?” There was a faint current of tension in his voice.

“Yup, it’s the setting for our film festival entry, ‘Ghoul on the Hill.’ We just started taping there today.”

More smiles. “Great, great. Good for you.” Perry turned and waved to another man across the room, this one also wearing a Spook Seekers jacket. “Morty, come here!”

The man came over. He was slightly younger than Perry, and had a mop of sandy brown hair. “My co-host and production assistant, Morty Bund. He keeps everything running behind the scenes – he’s the ghost in our machine,” Perry chuckled.

Nobody laughed. Perry leaned in and hissed something angrily into Morty’s ear.

“No worries, boss, it won’t mess up the schedule,” Morty said calmly.

“It’d better not – if we don’t have something on the Knebworth ghosts on camera by the end of the week, it’s curtains!” Perry hissed before realizing the Muppets and Cecil were still watching him. He laughed. “Production – it’s such a pain, isn’t it?”

Slowly, the Muppets moved off to get coffee. Cecil cleared his throat, ran up onto the stage and tapped the microphone.

“On behalf of the rest of the board – our vice presidents Maggie Pye and Hardy Knox, our secretary Lotta Fluff and our treasurer Kitty Hawkes – welcome to our little get-together.” Cecil was wearing another check suit, this one even louder than the last, if that was even possible. “It’s just a chance for everyone to get together and share ideas, so please, have some refreshments, and enjoy yourselves, and if you have any questions about the festival, please don’t hesitate to ask!”

Maggie stepped down and walked over to where Danielle sat. “Oh, Miss Wickham, you still haven’t given me your shooting timetable.”

“Here you are, Maggie,” Danielle said in a falsely light voice as she handed over the paper. “Although I don’t know how much good it will do, not when I’m competing against the famous Muppets…”

***

“So what do you think of that Perry Normal guy?” Scooter asked as he took a slurp from his cocoa.

“He looks nice, but acts kind of weird,” Nora blew into her tea. “It’s Danielle I’m a little more worried about – whatever happened, she really doesn’t seem to like you guys.”

“Hey, guys, up here!” a voice called from upstairs.

Fozzie looked up. “Hey, it’s Jim and the others!”

Jim Henson and his team, about twelve or fourteen of them, were grouped around several upstairs tables.

“Come on, take a load off,” Jim said as the Muppets came upstairs. “We’re just having a little board meeting.”

“Looks more like an après-ski party,” Skeeter remarked.

“Yeah, après-ski, apres-hockey, après-snowball fight, you name it,” Frank remarked.

While most of the party-goers were wearing dress casual or semi-formal clothes, Jim’s gang was dressed for outdoors – parkas, ski jackets, boots, hockey jerseys and wool caps. Several of them had ice skates, hockey sticks and other winter gear scattered around them.

“Are you guys entering something in Reel Time?” Scooter asked.

“We can’t,” Richard said. “Jim and Frank got tapped to sit on the judging panel. So we’re all out.”

“Not that Cecil knows anything about being partial,” Karen remarked. "Or about making movies, for that matter."

“He’s been after us for a while to join the film society,” Kevin said. “But we never have.”

“Yeah, too much politics and not enough creativity,” Dave added. “If we want to see backstabbing we’ll play Clue or something.”

***

A few hours later, the party was starting to wind down.

As everyone stood up to go, they caught a glimpse of something going on behind the coffee house.

Perry was talking to Danielle. She said something in reply and pointed up toward the second floor before she stormed back inside.

Perry nodded, called for Morty and the rest of the Spook Seekers crew and they all headed for their van, parked on a side street behind the coffee house.

“Guys, look at the van…” Robin whispered.

The van was painted jet black. The license plates on the van said “SPOOKY.”

***

Now, where have we seen that van before?

Stay tuned for chapter six, which will most likely be posted on Saturday - I'm probably going to start posting every other day now. There will be more accidents, and more incidents of spookiness.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

All right, here's part six, where things get a little scary...

Chapter Six: Tape Delayed

“Places for second spook scene, places for second spook scene,” Rowlf called just after noon the next day. As he checked the settings on the camera, he hummed a few bars of “Act Naturally.”

“How long is this one going to take?” Fozzie asked as he ran a brush through his fur and studied his script one more time.

“I hope we can get it wrapped soon,” Kermit said. “We’ve got to have the movie edited and turned in by Friday.”

It was the second day of filming of “Ghoul on the Hill.” The shooting had gone unusually slow, due to some camera problems, a broken lighting rig and a mishap involving sneezing powder and tomato juice.

The action had moved to the upstairs hallway, a dark, gloomy space lined with old family portraits and even more dusty furniture. A chandelier creaked on its chain as it

“Miss Piggy, you’re needed for this scene. You will confront Lord Wringing-Necke’s ghost and tell him to back off,” Kermit said. “And he, of course, will only step the spooks up.”

“My moment at last,” Miss Piggy said as she glided (or tried to) forward wearing an elaborate pink silk evening dress and a white feather boa. “My time to shine, to sparkle…”

“Aw, come on, you looked great when you had spiders in your hair,” Gonzo said.

“Gonzo and Lew Zealand, you’re in this one, too. You’ll try to counter the spooks with the motorized rubber chickens, and some flying fish, but it’ll only make things worse,” Kermit said.

Lew Zealand chuckled. “See, Kevin, I told you that you’d get some air time,” he said to his star barracuda.

“Hey, Kermit, what do you want to do with this?” Nora asked, pointing to a chest sitting up against one wall.

“Ah, yes, it’s Lord Wringing-Necke’s treasure,” Kermit nodded. “That needs to go down to the basement. Scooter, Skeeter, can you take care of that?”

As the twins started to haul the chest downstairs, Uncle Deadly emerged from the staging area, pinning a dead flower to his lapel.

“Oh, that this too, too sullied flesh would melt,” he intoned.

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark,” a voice out by the stairs quipped.

“Forget Denmark, there’s something rotten here!” a second voice remarked, and both guffawed.

Miss Piggy leaned over the balcony. “Hey, what are you two doing here?” she demanded as Statler and Waldorf took their seats next to the stairs.

“Getting a head start on our heckling,” Statler said.

“Yeah, we’re going to have our work cut out for us at that festival,” Waldorf added.

“Just when it couldn’t get any worse,” Kermit rolled his eyes. “Okay, Rowlf, we’re ready.”

***

“Where does he want it?” Scooter asked as he adjusted his grip on the chest’s handle.

“In the vent grating, right next to the door…”
A tile in the basement floor sunk beneath Skeeter’s foot, and a section of the wall swung open.

“Whoa!” Skeeter jumped back and nearly dropped her end of the chest.

The doorway opened into a narrow, cobweb-draped passageway that ran deeper into the house.

“Wow, just like in all those old movies.” Scooter rummaged through his pockets. “Got a flashlight or something?”

“Um…yeah, here it is.” Skeeter pulled a penlight out of her pocket, and the two crept into the dank, moldy-smelling passage.

At the end of the passage, there was a small chamber packed with what looked like long-unused magic equipment.

Most of the room was taken up by a giant cabinet of some kind, a four-foot cube painted black, with gold symbols painted on it.

Skeeter frowned. “That’s the box that the Knebworths had with them in that one picture!”

Scooter hesitantly reached forward to touch the cabinet. His fingers traced some streaks through the layer of dust that had collected on the cabinet’s surface. “I wonder what this was for?”

“Probably for vanishing acts or something. It’s probably got a false back, they always do.” Skeeter shrugged, then suddenly put her head up. “Do you hear that?”

They could hear a faint whispering sound.

The whispering shaped itself into a voice. Two voices. One male, one female.

“…for our next act, we present our vanishing cabinet…”

“...who will be brave enough to step inside? Who?”

Scooter gulped. “Skeeter, there’s someone in here.”

As if that wasn’t enough, the house started to groan and creak in a way that didn’t sound entirely natural.

The cabinet suddenly bucked and rocked.

“Let’s get out of here!” Skeeter yelled.

The twins fled back down the passageway and emerged back in the main basement, just as an ear-piercing scream rang out.

***

"Up for some fowl play, ghostie?" Gonzo taunted.

"Or something fishy?" Lew Zealand chimed in.

Lew Zealand’s flying fish did a perfect arc in the air, as Gonzo sent the chickens zooming across the floor.

As Uncle Deadly dodged both fish and fowl…

“What the hey?” Kermit asked.

A groan started up from somewhere inside the house.

And then a scream rang out, an unearthly, blood-curdling scream.

The paintings rattled on the walls, and a lighting fixture dangling from the ceiling snapped loose from its moorings and started to fall.

“Rowlf! Look out!”

Rowlf ducked out of the way, but tripped over a gap in the floor. The camera shot out of his hand and sailed over the balcony railing, where it hit the floor with a gut-wrenching crash.

“Everyone! Stay calm!” Kermit yelled.

But stay calm was just what the crew did not do. Everyone went running for cover, convinced that the ghosts of Castle Irene were unleashing full-blown wrath on them.

Gonzo scooped up Camilla and made a run for the door.

Statler and Waldorf were now cowering under their chairs. Fozzie would have relished the moment if he weren’t scrambling for someplace to hide.

“Scooter? Skeeter?” Nora ran downstairs. “Where are you – ouch!”

Nora collided with the twins just as they emerged from the basement, and the three went sprawling across the floor.

The screaming faded away, and the house slowly stopped creaking.

“Oh, Kermie…” Miss Piggy moaned. “It was so horrible…so terrifying…”

“Um...Piggy, you’re choking me,” Kermit moaned, his face squashed against Miss Piggy’s shoulder.

Everyone looked around at the mess now covering the upstairs hallway and the front entrance.

“The historical society’s going to throw a fit,” Scooter said ruefully.

Rowlf picked up what remained of the camera. He opened the tape deck and shook his head.

“The tape didn’t survive the fall.”

A whole day’s taping was gone.

***

Well, that does throw a wrench into things, doesn't it? Stay tuned for chapter seven.