Chapter Twenty-Seven
Five Months and Three Weeks Later
June 4, 1974
Kermit browsed through the many aisles of bookshelves before picking up the book he had intended to buy all along. He carried it to the register with a smile.
A little harmless flirting won’t hurt, he thought.
The cashier rolled her baby blues at him as she took the book. “You make
such a show of pacing those aisles, Kermit, you
know where all the books are, why don’t you just go straight to them?” she said with a smile.
“Well it’s nice to see you too, Penny, and how are you today?” Kermit said.
Penny laughed. “Much better, now that a
certain someone is talking to me instead of just
staring at the books…”
Kermit laughed and put his hand over hers. “Oh well you know I just enjoy your company so much I’ll do
anything to stay here longer,” he said.
“Mm-hm, anything but wait in line.” She checked the price. “Six fifty. So how is that little nephew of yours doing? Is he in town?”
He handed her the money. “No, he’s not in town, but he’s doing pretty well,” he said.
“You still teaching him to read?” She made change, leaned extra close and handed it to him.
“Oh, of course,” Kermit said. He held her gaze- and one of her hands- as he dropped his change into the tip jar. “You
know I take good care of the people I’m close to,” he said. He gave her cheek a quick kiss.
She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand. “Mm, and I love it when you do!” she said. She straightened up and pushed the book towards him. “You should buy your nephew some Dr. Seuss books,” she said.
He picked the book up and headed towards the door. “Oh, you just want me to come see you more often,” he grinned over his shoulder.
She put her hand over her heart and pretended to be hurt. “I thought you couldn’t get enough of me!”
“I can’t!” Kermit turned to face her with his hand on the door. “You think I come here for the
books?”
They both laughed.
“See you next time, Penny,” he said as he opened the door.
“Make it soon, Kermit,” she called as he left.
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Three Months and One Week Later
September 10, 1974
“Well basically, we’re just going to take a bunch of clips, put ‘em together in no real order, and call it a pilot,” the Muppet explained. He was a yellow shade of orange, or perhaps an orange shade of yellow. His eyes bulged with orange eyelids that matched his shirt, and he wore a trench coat for no real reason other than that he had been outside a few hours ago, and would be outside again a few hours from now.
“I see,” Kermit said. “That’s uh, that’s an interesting format for a show.”
“What else would a show be?” the Muppet asked.
“Well I don’t know, maybe something like, with a story line to it,” Kermit said.
The Muppet nodded. “We thought about doing that, but we decided we wanted to be a little more original, you know? I mean,
everybody’s got a story line.”
Kermit hesitated. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “Yeah, I guess, um, everybody has a story line.”
“So why should we?” the Muppet asked.
“Right,” Kermit said. “Ah, what was your name again?”
“Nigel,” the Muppet said.
“Nigel, right.” Kermit nodded. “Well listen Nigel, good luck hosting this thing, all right?”
“Sure, thanks.”
“And uh, let me know if you need any help. You sure we’ve got enough people for this?”
“Oh sure, you know Dave Goelz finally joined the company,” Nigel said.
“Oh good!” Kermit said. “I was hoping Jim could convince him.”
“Well, he did,” Nigel said. “But uh, you know- incidentally, we do need a band, if you have any idea where to find one.”
Kermit hesitated. “A band, huh?” he said. “Well, I’ll check. I think I know just the group.”
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It was transition time on Market Central Road. The shopkeepers and storeowners were closing up and making room for the nightlife.
But Kermit wasn’t interested in that tonight. He knocked on the doors of the old abandoned church. “You guys in here?” He opened the door and went inside.
The pews had all been cleared out, and there was a counter to the left. Something red jumped up from behind it. “FROGGY!”
Kermit jumped. “Oh hi Animal,” he said. “Hey, where’s Dr. Teeth?”
Animal clamped his jaw around the counter and bit through it.
Kermit scrunched up his face. “I should’ve known better than to ask,” he said. “That’s not too good for the counter there, Animal.”
“Aw, man! That’s the third counter he’s ruined. Would you knock it off Animal?” Clifford said as he came in from the back.
Animal promptly knocked the counter top off of the counter. Kermit hopped back to avoid being squashed.
“Oh hey Kerm. How’s it goin’?” Clifford asked.
“It’s going okay,” Kermit said. “Hey where’s the rest of the band?”
“Coffee run,” Clifford said. “Why?”
“Well, you know how I mentioned that we’re shooting another pilot?”
“You know how I mentioned that I still don’t think that’s legal?”
“It’s not that kind of pilot, Clifford. Or that kind of shooting.”
“Yeah, you mentioned it,” Clifford said. “And?”
“Well, we need a band,” Kermit said. “I was wondering if
The Electric Mayhem had any interest.”
“I’ll pass along the message,” Clifford said. He grabbed a broom and started sweeping, keeping his eyes on the dirt he was pushing around.
Kermit watched him. “Is something wrong?”
“Naw, man, it’s cool.” He swept.
“You know, Clifford- you can be in the show, too, if you’d like. I mean- we’re just putting random people in front of the camera…” his voice trailed off.
“It’s cool, man,” Clifford said. “Show business ain’t for me.”
Kermit shrugged. “Okay…” He turned to walk out, then stopped and turned back around. “Hey Clifford?”
Clifford stopped sweeping and looked up. “Yeah Kerm?”
“Let me know if you ever change your mind,” Kermit said.
Clifford nodded. “I’ll let you know.”
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Three Months and Four Days Later
January 14, 1975
It would be an interesting series of clips. They were supposed to be at a dance of some sort.
“Just sort of get a partner, start dancing, and say something funny,” were their directions.
There was a rather attractive lady looking for a partner. Kermit felt a little awkward in his slightly over-starched suit, but he asked her to dance.
A little harmless flirting won’t hurt, he thought to himself. So they talked as they danced.
Yes, she was very nice looking. Did she want to do something when they finished shooting for the day?
Maybe. What kind of something did he mean?
What kind of something would she do?
Well what kind of something could he do for her?
A moment’s hesitation. “Well, um, I might be able to get you a job on an educational show for kids.” He cleared his throat before looking at the camera for help. It wasn’t very helpful. Well, at least he was a good dancer. Besides, he could always sit by Miss Mousey during the wrestling segment, and try his luck that way. In the mean time, he steered his partner away from Crazy Donald- no, Crazy Harry. Donald was apparently his middle name.
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Five Months and One Day Later
June 15, 1975
Life was good. True, the two pilots they had shot had not developed into full-fledged shows, but that was fine with Kermit. Now he was on vacation in the swamp, so of course everything was fine. But outside the swamp, he had a nice house, a good job, and plenty of friends. Life was good. But there was something calling him somehow, something big for him to do. So he set about solving it in the best way he knew. He took out his banjo, sat on his log, and sang.
“
Why are there so many songs about rainbows,
And what’s on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
“
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
“
All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...
“
Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
“
La, da da dee da da doo,
La da da da da dee da doo...”
But the quiet bliss that came at the end of a good song was interrupted by- “HELP, HELP! This is a serious call for help.” It was a fisherman in a rowboat, coming in his direction. “Someone, HELP! You! You with the ban-jo. Can you help me?” He stopped himself on Kermit’s log.
There was of course, no immediate danger. Kermit was in a good mood, and he decided to joke around some. “One second.” He pretended to try to catch a near-by fly. “Darn it I missed. You know that’s the first thing to go on a frog? The tongue.”
“Look, I’m sorry about your tongue, but I have to get out of this swamp, I have to catch a plane.”
“With that tongue? No way!” Kermit said. “But seriously, there’s a boat dock just down stream. Just watch out for the alligators.”
This alarmed the fisherman. He wasn’t used to alligators. He was an agent, from Hollywood. Yes, Hollywood. The dream factory, the magic store- wait! The agent snapped his fingers. “
Wait a minute…
Wait a minute…” He pulled out a newspaper of some sort. “There’s an ad in here that you should be
very interested in!” He flipped to a page and held it for Kermit to see. “Feast your eyes on that.”
Kermit read the ad aloud. “
World Wide Studios Announces open Auditions for Frogs wishing to become Rich and Famous.”
The agent struck the paper for emphasis.
“Well thanks anyway, but I’m really pretty happy where I am,” Kermit said.
“Oh, if I were you, I would give this audition very careful consideration!” The agent slapped a business card onto Kermit’s log. “In fact, if you ever come out to Hollywood, look me up. Bernie the Agent. You’ve got talent, kid. Singing, telling jokes, I mean- you get your tongue fixed, and who knows? You could make
millions of people happy!” He started to row away.
Kermit hesitated. It struck him, somehow. “Millions of… people… happy…”
“Millions!” Bernie the Agent called to him.
Kermit thought about it as the rowboat disappeared.
“Millions of people happy…”
He strummed absent-mindedly on his banjo while he thought.
This was worth talking to Jim about.
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Special announcement! This is my 3000th post! Yippee! And, better yet, we're finally in 1975!