Flight of the Golden Albatross: A Muppet Mystery

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Flight of the Golden Albatross

A Muppet Mystery

Synopsis: The Golden Albatross is a fabulous jeweled necklace worth a king's ransom, and it is loaned to a museum several cities away by its wealthy (but not exactly careful) owner. However, the Albatross vanishes while in transit, and detective Kermit the Frog, who is returning home from a vacation, finds himself enlisted to recover the Albatross. He is accompanied by a host of others on the search, which leads them all on a cross-country train trip to a confrontation with a desperate thief.

Notes: The Muppets are all property of Jim Henson, regardless of whichever company claims ownership. The exception is the character of Nora, whom I introduced in "A Little Knight Music." Can't tell you if the thief's a Henson character yet, sorry.

The Muppet cast, not exactly in order of appearance:

Kermit: a detective
Fozzie: a police officer/comedian
Miss Piggy: an adventureuse
Gonzo: a traveling showman
Camilla: his lovely feathered assistant
Scooter: a reporter, Skeeter's brother
Skeeter: an archaeologist, Scooter's sister
Nora: a traveling writer
Rowlf: a composer and piano player
Sam the Eagle: diplomat and moral arbiter (or so he says)
Link Hogthrob: aide to T.R. Slowly, the owner of the Golden Albatross

 

[The Count]

... Can I say I'm hooked? Dunno, can we?
Gonzo, let us down from here! We need to get the first part of Erin's thrilling new fic!
Just don't come cryin' to me when you fall flat on the ground, you yokuls!

Well... Maybe a soothing ride on the Disoriented Express.
Then again, maybe not.

Pardon and please accept the muffin... Excited to read!
And will this albatross end up being as much of a grim heirloom as the white one?
Maybe that's a role opening for my phantomly fiendish roomie.
Maybe that opening's big enough for a Fraggle... You never know where you'll find a Fraggle-hole.
But Doozers are smaller and can fit in much more easily.

Oh, sorry again... Post please!

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Oh, I cannot wait to read this!
:3 *Glomps Erin*

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Gonzo, let them off the hook...you'll appear soon enough!

Well, the train here is called the Muppet Express...but the bizarre names of the cities along the route (Greater Burden, Mis-En-Scene, etc.) make up for the ordinary train name.

And now, I'm turning it over to Nora for chapter one.

***

Chapter One: Aftermath

Excerpt from the journal of Eleanor J. “Nora” Brandon, writer and traveler

I write this in the waiting room of the St. Pancreatitis train station, as the police and the media continue to question my traveling companions. Outside, a steady, unrelenting nighttime rain falls on the streets of the city of Greater Burden.

Kermit looks obviously tired and a little depleted. Scooter is across the room on the phone to his editor. He is alert but still shadowy-eyed. Gonzo, on the other hand, does not at all seem to mind that his limbs are five times their normal length. Miss Piggy, understandably, wants only to get to the swank comfort of her hotel room, and Link is merely relieved that his boss is not going to hand him his head on a platter (though Miss Piggy said it’d look nice with an apple in its mouth).

In the meantime, word reaches us that a crew is towing the disabled Muppet Express out of the Failed Pass, so we should have our luggage back fairly soon.

It looks as if it is up to me to give the plot exposition for what would be a very bizarre story. So I will massage the cramp in my right wrist and tell you a bit of what’s going on.

The last few days have been hectic and chaotic (but they sure look swell on paper, you have to admit) on all of us. It was all because of the Golden Albatross.

And what, you may ask, is the Golden Albatross?

I didn’t really know either until I borrowed one of Skeeter’s books on the train.

The Albatross is a jeweled necklace with a giant gold albatross dangling from it. Crafted for the necks of kings and queens in the Soup, Salad and Sandwich Islands over a thousand years ago, it is now a source of wonder (and many tension headaches) for museum curators and their insurance companies.

It was prized and treasured for the value of the materials used to make it, and the sheer level of artistry involved – but at the same time hated because of the awful neck strain it gave the wearer.

Despite the assorted orthopedic risks, the Golden Albatross remains one of the most coveted artifacts in the history of the Muppet world. So coveted, in fact, that there are people willing to steal it.

And as I write, Sam is launching into his expected spiel on the prevalence of crime in our society, for the benefit of three writers from The Daily Flagpole. Go figure.

Anyway - when crooks do steal the Albatross, they have a way of getting vacationing detectives, reporters from international newspapers and a whole slew of unsuspecting ship and train passengers caught in the middle of it all.

It’s funny how grand larceny works out that way, isn’t it?

One of the reporters comes my way, wielding a pen and notepad, and she looks awfully nervous about making the deadline.

“Nora,” she says, “you saw the whole thing from start to finish. Tell us about what you saw, for the Observer.”

***

And that is the teaser chapter. More to follow soon...I'm pasting this all in from Microsoft Word, and it takes me a while to re-format the text.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Ooooo....
:3
*Nods approvingly*

 

[The Count]

Heck yeah! Is that a certain E.M.R. approaching Nora towards the end?

And I sympathize... Currently working on some fixes from Word to Wordpad myself. It's a bit of a burden, but it'll be worth it when finished.
Looking forward to the next installment as I laughed with all the little subtle jokes and nods here and there.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Yeah, I'm kind of wondering why it does that now whenever we post stuff from a word processing program...but ya gotta admit, it's loads faster than just re-typing everything into the reply box.

Chapter two will probably be up tomorrow...and it is narrated by Kermit. Stay tuned...

 

[CensoredAlso]

Looks interesting, keep going!

 

[The Count]

Well... Methinks that's cause MC has its own font size for replies, different from whatever font and size you may type in in another word processor program. There was a change and thread about this recently in the Feedback section though.

Hope this helps and have a good night Erin.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Ah, this story looks wonderful so far! Can't wait for the next update!