Here is our conclusion to chapter six! So I started chapter five with a bit of steam and I'm ending this chapter with some steam as well. Bring out the fans!
Friday was the start of what people called the weekend of heck.
With a show only two days away, Fridays and Saturdays were usually the busiest and hectic of the week; this week was even more so, as the Muppet Theater went into overdrive to set up their first hour long show. Despite doing several seasons of the original Muppet Show and being stars of the big screen, the Weekend of Heck always felt as though it was the first weekend of their very first show.
Fridays were the absolute last day that acts could try to butt their way onto the schedule, as well as being the last chance that those who have been given tentative nods had to polish up to make sure they were ready for Sunday; it was also the last day that the secondary acts – those that were deemed as replacements – could throw their names into the ring.
After some of the disasters from their previous show, Kermit and Scooter always made sure to have available acts waiting and willing to go on in the case their first strings didn’t make it. That was actually how many of their popular skits had gotten on stage in the first place.
This particular Friday seemed to be the worse day of Scooter Grosse’s life.
Usually, the two days before the show, many of the performers were fighting with their nerves or anticipation and anxiety, that tempers flared more than usual. Scooter normally took those Fridays all in stride, doing his best to keep things together before things fell apart; it was much like his role during a show, where he tried to keep Kermit as sane as reasonably expected.
This Friday was not like other Fridays.
This Friday, the tension that was usually felt wasn’t there; in fact, most of the acts were joking around, having a good time, and generally looking forward to Sunday’s show. Scooter, on the other hand, felt and acted like a nervous wreck. Kermit, who would performing in at least two numbers and sitting in for one, had decided to continue this ‘promotion’ he had given to Scooter and put the younger Muppet in the seat of director and manager.
To be fair, it was a role that the red head had been doing for years, ever since the original show, and it was something that he also excelled at. On those rare occasions when Kermit couldn’t be at the forefront, his duties were usually split between the senior most members, however it was still Scooter that they called on to manage some of the more unruly of acts.
And because this was a role that he had been performing literally since his teens, it was assumed and expected that he would continue to fulfill that duty. But today, it wasn’t going to happen.
Already, the stage manager had turned his anxiety into wrath and had flung it towards anyone that got in his path. Pepe and Rizzo had seen the bad side of the kid when their side bet on just how far Link Hogthrob would get through his set had gotten heated and they had dared to try and rumble in the middle of the penguin chorus line.
Kermit and Piggy, who were currently on stage rehearsing, had picked the worse day to be in the kind of mood they were in. Both had gotten a bad case of the giggles, which was compounded by the fact that they had seemed to have taken their backstage flirting from Kermit’s office and Piggy’s dressing room to that of on stage.
All of that was only made worse by their song choice – an up tempo jazz version of “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” as performed by Louis Prima and Keely Smith.
“Come on, you guys!” the red head shouted. He had taken a position right in front of the orchestra pit and had been there all morning, shouting up at the acts on stage, while making suggestions to Nigel in the pit offstage. Nigel, at this point, was outright ignoring him, even once going as far as to pretend he was the recording off an answering machine.
Scooter didn’t think that was funny and ‘left a message’ that he had been thinking about firing the English Muppet that day and that if he could get back, that would be great. That’s when the two stopped speaking to each other.
“Sorry,” Kermit chuckled. He didn’t know why he was so giggly today and Piggy certainly wasn’t making it any easier because every time they looked at each other, they’d burst into laughter. “We’re sorry, Scooter.”
“Sorry doesn’t get your act together,” Scooter admonished. “I would think the two of you would know better. And where is my minion? Minion!”
Robin popped out from backstage. “Yeah?”
“What happened to my backdrop for this?”
“It’s back here,” the frog replied, pointing towards the backstage area.
“Why isn’t it out here?”
“Cause we took it down in order to rework it,” the young frog answered. It was obviously the wrong to say at that.
The rush of heat seemed to start from the manager’s toes and traveled upwards, causing his face to match that of his reddish mop. “Are you kidding me!?” he exclaimed. “You go and take that apart now? I’m trying to get this act together and you…you…you’re killing me, Smalls!”
“Sorry Boss.”
It was clear to everyone that, unless something was done, their young manager was going to blow a gasket and he was starting to get a good steam going for a Kermit like tirade. Throwing a look to her captain, Piggy suggested, “Perhaps now would be a good time for lunch, Mon Capitain.”
“How can you possibly be thinking about food at a time like this!?” Scooter cried.
“No, I think she’s right,” Kermit replied, nodding his agreement. “Why don’t you take lunch, Scooter?”
“Kermit,” the red head whined. “We’re in the middle of rehearsals and I got set design to redesign, apparently –“ he threw a look towards Robin. “I can’t take lunch now!”
“Andrew,” Piggy stressed. “That wasn’t a request.”
At any other moment, Scooter would’ve gotten the message loud and clear; Piggy, who was probably the only person who used his first name on a semi regular basis, utilized it when she wanted to get her point across. It was a testament to just how stressed and distracted he was that the red head all but ignored the warning and turned to his commander in chief.
“Kermit?”
The frog shrugged. He had seen the plot for what it was and really, thought it was a great idea. Knowing that Scooter was trying to plan something romantic for his first Valentine’s Day, while also trying to come up with various ways of stating his feelings to his love was nerve racking at best; trying to do so while also overseeing a show only made it ten times worse.
Kermit was kicking himself for not making Scooter take the day off.
“You heard her,” he said, watching as his decision literally caused the younger Muppet to deflate slightly.
“Fine,” Scooter huffed. “Why don’t we all just take lunch? Not like we have a show or anything to get ready for.”
“Food, Andrew,” Piggy said. “Go fetch it.”
“Yes Mistress,” he said, sarcastically. “Why don’t I just get lunch for anyone? Not like I have anything to do or anything.” He continued to murmur and huff and complain as he made his way backstage in order to get his car keys and wallet.
“Wow,” Robin breathed. “I’ve never seen Scooter so…”
“Obnoxious?” Piggy filled in.
“I was going to say harsh,” the young frog replied. “But we can go with that.”
“Leave him alone,” Kermit said, diplomatically. “He’s got a lot of stuff on his mind.”
“Dollars to donuts everyone knows what,” Piggy replied. “Or should I say, ‘who’? No worries, boys, Moi knows just the solution to our problems.”
As she spoke, the diva began to rifle through the inside pockets of Kermit’s jacket.
“What are you doing?” the frog inquired, watching as she went from his left side pocket then to his right inside pocket. “The answer to our problems is in my jacket?”
Pulling out her cell phone, which she had placed in said jacket pocket, Piggy said, “Yes.”
“Wondered why my jacket felt heavy,” Kermit muttered. Both he and Robin watched as the diva seemed to be calling someone. “Who’re you calling?”
“I’m not calling anyone.”
Both frogs looked at one another before they both stepped closer to the pig in order to see what she was doing. As she said, she wasn’t calling anyone, but texting someone and they both knew who that someone was. “Ooooh.”
“And all this time,” Kermit replied. “I’ve been dating her for her body.”
Piggy rolled her eyes. There were times when her frog’s humor and sarcastic wit were not appreciated, kinda like now. “I see your wit hasn’t gotten better with your age,” she retorted.
“You weren’t complaining about my age earlier this morning.”
“Hello!” Robin exclaimed. “Young, impressionable mind! Standing right here. By all that’s holy, please stop. Right now.”
“I don’t remember you being so bothered by this when you were younger,” Kermit said.
Robin looked at Kermit in such a way, it actually startled Piggy somewhat in how much the teen looked like his uncle. “A lot of things didn’t bother me until I turned fifteen,” the teen stated. “Puberty does that to you.”
“Puberty does a lot of things to you,” Piggy smirked.
“So I’ve noticed.”
[hr]
Scooter was still in a huff by the time he arrived at the little Italian place they all like to frequent. He wasn’t sure what his problem was that day and he knew at some point, he’d probably have to apologize to people – a lot of people – but his mind seemed to be on other things and every little thing drove him to tears or exasperation.
He had concluded this must be how Kermit every day of the year and perhaps next week, he’d resolve to take more things off the frog’s shoulders.
Still in a stew, when he heard his phone go off, he didn’t bother to look to see who it was, just answered in the standard, “Grosse here.”
“And hello to you too.”
“Oh,” he sighed, some of his tension ebbing away. “Hi.”
“How’s it going, handsome?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“Something wrong?”
“No,” Scooter whispered, shaking his head. “Just…just a little stressed, I think.”
“About the show?”
Chocking out a laugh, he said, “No, actually. Ironically, the show’s okay. It’s…I’ve been thinking about you.”
“Oh,” he heard her chuckle. “So I’m the one stressing you out.”
“What?” he exclaimed, causing a few people to look at him as he sat and waited for his order. “No, baby, no. I mean…”
“I’m kidding,” she said. “Well, I was kidding, but now I’m wondering if I’m right.”
“You’re wrong,” he whispered. “It’s just…this is our first Valentine’s Day together and it’s our anniversary. I just want things to go smoothly.”
“Oh Scooter,” she sighed, dreamily. “They will, cause it’s you and you always put your all in to everything you do. I hate that I can’t see you for two days.”
“I know.”
“I miss you,” she whispered. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Amanda, I love…this…restaurant, that I’m at.” Scooter balled a fist at his slip. Not being able to see her should’ve worked out in his favor, but not seeing her and thinking about her were actually doing the opposite of what he wanted.
“Getting lunch?”
“Yeah,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Kermit…kinda…sent me out to pick up some.”
“Well, I’ll let you go. Just wanted to say hi.”
“You know you can call me anytime, Gorgeous,” he whispered. “Are you coming to the show Sunday?”
“Of course,” she said. “Can’t wait to see you, Scooter.”
Maybe he was imagining it, but he swore there was a slight purr in her voice when she said that and it had his mind racing. “Things I want to do to you…tell you!” he corrected at the last moment. “Tell you,” he said. “Things I want to tell you. I meant tell you. Don’t know…where that other thing came from.”
“Freudian slip?”
“Among other things, I’m sure.” He listened to her response, a flash of heat coloring his face as she finished. “That’s not a very nice thing to say to someone in a public restaurant.”
“Well then, I hope you’re sitting down.”
“I was,” he muttered, hearing his name as they brought out his order.
“Deep breaths, baby.”
“Still not helping.”
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