Part 11
Rizzo: WHAT? VEGAS?
Rizzo and Pepe were sitting at two desks in a fancy executive office on the top floor of the Mickey Mouse shaped sky scraper. Rizzo was on the phone with Scooter, who was saying the Muppets were in Vegas, going to stop an evil business man who had tricked Kermit.
Rizzo: So, he tricks the Frog and you want him arrested?
Scooter: It’s not just that Rizzo. It’s… look, we need all the gang we can get.
Rizzo: (Sigh) Look, me and Pepe will be there tonight, okay!
Scooter: Thanks Rizzo!
Rizzo: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
Rizzo hung up just as Roger came in the door with a pile of paper work, but Rizzo and Pepe were to busy to notice.
Roger: Well, since Mr. Mouse was to lazy a rights owner, you are now in full position of the profits of all the parks.
Rizzo: Whats are first order of business?
Pepe: Hwhat are zose, brochures? Because I don’t hlike to hread, okay.
Roger: Actually, it’s the debts
Rizzo: WHAT! BUT THESE ARE THE MOST FAMOUS PARKS IN THE WORLD! HOW CAN THEY BE IN DEBT?
Roger: Well, from building the rides, hotels and ordering endless products to sell. I mean, Disneyland Paris is over 2 Billion Euro in debt, alone. So what are you going to do about it?
Rizzo and Pepe looked at each other.
Within minutes they were up in the helicopter with the giant Mickey Mouse statue attached to the bottom and flying away to Vegas at full speed, leaving Roger standing on the roof of the skyscraper, holding all the heavy paper work.
The Muppets were driving down the streets of Vegas, looking awestruck at the big flashing signs and sparkly casinos and hotels. It was amazing they could all fit in the tiny Studebaker, although Animal, Zoot and Dr. Teeth were on the roof of the car.
Dr. Teeth: Say, have we ever written a song about Las Vegas, guys?
Floyd: Can’t recall.
Janice: Well, like, why don’t we write one now? And a rully good one, fur sure.
Dr. Teeth: Anybody got some Maracas on em?
Piggy: Oh, hang on.
Piggy reached into her bottomless purse and took out a set of Maracas, passed them to Scooter, who passed them to Janice, who stuck them out the window. A second later, Dr. Teeth’s long green arm came down and took them up onto the roof. He started shaking them making a samba-like rhythm.
Dr. Teeth: Come on everybody, sing, I want to hear your voices, voices!
Janice: Yeah, everybody, sing, yes lets all make some noises, noises!
Everybody: Yes, it’s Las Vegas! It’s the town where troubles fly away.
Vegas! It’s the place where dreams are here to stay.
Lets all go to Vegas, Vegas, You can leave it up to chance!
Got to go to Vegas, Vegas!
Zoot: I think I ripped my pants…
Everybody:… His pants, yes!
Gotta be Las Vegas, Vegas. It’s the town of romance, romance!
Gotta be Las Vegas, Vegas Ohhhh, won’t you come and dance!
Fozzie: Look at all those flashing lights, look are you able to see those, see those!
Floyd: Can you dig this fancy town, dudes, can you see those casinos, casinos!
Everybody: Yes, it’s Las Vegas! It’s the town where troubles fly away.
Vegas! It’s the place where dreams are here to stay.
Lets all go to Vegas, Vegas, You can leave it up to chance!
Got to go to Vegas, Vegas!
Zoot: No, really I ripped my pants…
Everybody:… His pants, yes!
Gotta be Las Vegas, Vegas. It’s the town of romance, romance!
Gotta be Las Vegas, Vegas Ohhhh, won’t you come and dance!
Everybody: Yes, it’s Las Vegas! It’s the town where troubles fly away.
Vegas! It’s the place where dreams are here to stay.
Lets all go to Vegas, Vegas, You can. Leave it all up to chance!
Got to go to Vegas, Vegas!
Zoot: I think I need new pants…
Everybody:… His pants, yes!
Gotta be Las Vegas, Vegas. It’s the town of romance, romance!
Gotta be Las Vegas, Vegas Ohhhh, won’t you come and dance!
Scooter: There it is. The Stellia Hotel.
The Muppets were looking up at a 30 floor high casino and hotel, the words “The Stellia Hotel” written in ten storey high swirly letters. There were men and women flooding in and out the doors either cheering or cursing under their breath.
The Muppets decided they would stay at the Love hotel, down the street from Stellia’s.
Once the Muppets had booked 7 rooms, they went up to Kermit and Piggy’s room. They were all very cramped, but they could just barely fit all of them.
Kermit: Ok, gang. We need to come up with a plan.
Robin: To do what, Uncle Kermit?
Kermit: To bust into that hotel and go up against Stellia!
Janice: Don’t we need, like, lots of cool gizmos for that?
Kermit: Uhhh… not necessarily. If we put our heads together, we can do anything. So. Anyone against?
There was a short pause. Then the room erupted into noise.
Scooter: Are you serious?
Dr. Teeth: We would get killed!
Everyone kept blabbing on. Until…
Fozzie: QUIET!
Everybody stopped except Janice.
Janice: And she’s all “Why don’t you want a car? Everybody else your age wants one! Why can’t you be normal?” And I’m all “But Mother, Cars are bad for our life span!” Because, like, life is short enough without…
She realised no one else was talking
Janice: Oh.
There was a knock at the door. Scooter answered it.
Seymour: Excuse me, but you are disturbing the… GUYS!
Seymour the Elephant was standing in the doorway. His big behind took up the whole door frame.
Everyone: SEYMOUR!
Seymour: What are you doing here? Where is Pepe?
Kermit explained about Stellia shutting down The Muppets.
Seymour; Oh, that’s terrible!
Gonzo: That’s why we need a plan.
The group spend the next few hours coming up with a plan.
Miss Piggy was in her hotel room, getting ready for the break-in. She had opted for black. All the Muppets did. Except the ones that didn’t wear clothes. Seymour told them they needed to sign the check in slip left in the room. She found it over by the brochures. They read stuff like “CHEAP CASINOS”, “FREE POOL”, “ROOM SLIP”… Oh, there it is!
Piggy got a pen and signed her name at the bottom. She read the slip out loud:
You have ordered the luxury suite from The Love Hotel, with full romance package. Your Romance Package includes:
Bouquet of fresh Roses by your bedside every day
Free Cheese cake at the bar
Legal Marriage license (Marriage included)
First song at karaoke on Wednesdays and Sundays.
Pretty good package, she thought. Then she saw the bit about the free Marriage.
Piggy couldn’t believe her luck! Maybe she could forge Kermit’s signature!
Wait.
Kermit. She had to think of her frog’s feelings, too. It would be wrong to do this.
She placed it back on the table and signed the customary check in slip.
Kermit walked in the room.
Kermit: The gang are waiting in the lobby. Are you ready?
Piggy: Yes. Just sign the check in slip on the table.
Piggy went over to the counter to grab her purse when she heard a small squirt.
Roger dropped the paper work on the Pepe’s desk.
The ink had exploded on the page Kermit was about to sign.
Piggy: Hang on, Ill clean it up!
Piggy ran into the bathroom and grabbed some uncomfortable toilet paper.
Kermit: Hang on, I think I found another slip!
Piggy: Ok.
Piggy walked out of the bathroom and saw Kermit opening the door.
Kermit: I signed it. Let’s go!
Kermit walked out the door. Piggy saw the slip Kermit signed. But it was the wrong slip. He had signed the Marriage slip. It had her signature on it, too.
She and Kermit were married.
Man, Vegas is Wacky!