Fanfic: Chamberlain's Visitor

[The Count]

No... It's just that last night was crazy with fanfic updating from some of the others. It's somewhat novel to have a Fraggle die from the pebble pox an then disappear into nothingness. Wonder if that's what the dire outcome of such a Fragglian illness was meant to be. But I'm also interested to see how this affects the overall plot and how Aurora will come back into the scene.

 

[Princeton]

It's somewhat novel to have a Fraggle die from the pebble pox an then disappear into nothingness. Wonder if that's what the dire outcome of such a Fragglian illness was meant to be.

Yeah, I realize that I probably stretched the whole Pebble Pox thing pretty far, but that's always been one of my favorite episodes, and I thought it could be explored a little more. The death of Jasper was a very hard part to write (for obvious reeasons), but I was faced with how does a Fraggle die? I mean, in the show, Mudwell dies and is reborn from a cocoon, but at the same time Mudwell isn't a Fraggle. Luckily, no Fragg;les died in the show, but it still made Jasper's death very difficult to write and I hope I pulled it off nicely.

Also, Ed, could you please explain your concern in post 46?

 

[The Count]

OK... Just reread the ending of Part 11 and I take back my confusion. It's just that I got slightly lost when Doyle replies to Lindy that he, Doyle, is in Amber's room calling security to have Aurora removed. So never mind. Post when you can please.

 

[The Count]

*Bumping this one to see if it'll get finished or if it's officially dead. BTW: Both of these are in the index, check 'em out for quick and easy-to-find links.

 

[Princeton]

It will get finished eventually, Ed; thanks for bumping it.

 

[The Count]

No prob... Post when you can.

 

[Princeton]

Update

Aurora was waiting for Doyle to exit the "Hello L.A.!" set as he came storming out, folding his cell phone.
“Ah, Mr. Doyle, we meet again” Aurora gushed cheerfully.
“Look, Aurora , Lindy just fired me and I’m very upset, so you’ll understand if I’m not in the mood to talk right now” replied Doyle as he started to walk away.
Aurora walked in front of him and said “You know what I dod when I’m uspet? I get even. Look, we both want Lindy and company to suffer; it only stands to reason that we join forces. Are you in?"
“Well, I’m a peaceful man by nature, but Lindy was my first client in a dozen or so years. He’s no worse than the bullies who knocked me on my duff fifty years ago” pondered Doyle as he wrung his hands.
“I suppose that’s as close to a yes as I’m going to get.” said Aurora. She added, “Wana seal the deal with a kiss?" Without waiting for an answer, she kissed Doyle and held it until his eyes turned grey.

Back in the Barrymore Suite, Kirk was packing his suitcases, much to Chamberlain’s horror.
“What do you think you’re doing, Kirk?" asked Chamberlain.
“I’m going back to Brown; I asked for your help but you never intended to help just me. I should have known that Lindy was the most important person in your life; I was a fool not to see it. Anyway, you don’t need me anymore on this adventure, Mr. Immortal. I’m starting to think maybe you never needed me at all” Kirk replied.
“Kirk, you know that’s not true. Now I want you to think about what you’re doing. It’s always been ‘one for all and all for one’; that’s not going to change. I really think you should see this through with me” said Chamberlain.
Kirk took his suitcases and headed for the door. “Goodbye, Dad. Have a nice life… that I was never a part of.”
Amber overheard all of this and said “But Kirk, sweetie, what about me?"
“What about you? I’ve seen your cell phone contacts; you never needed me either” said Kirk and walked out the door.

Doyle ran into Kirk in the Hotel Veronique lobby and offered to give him a ride to the airport. They got into Doyle’s rental car and headed down the road.
“So, had a pretty bad fight with your dad, huh?" asked Doyle in what was now a permanent monotone.
“How’d you know that?" asked Kirk, incredulously.
“Just going by how he shoved you aside for Lindy” replied Doyle.
“Well, as accurate as that assumption is, it’s none of your business, so I’d appreciate it if you stayed out of it” said Kirk.
“Sure thing, kid” said Doyle. “But you’ll learn in time never to trust anyone… present company included.”
“What do you mean, Mr. Doyle?" asked Kirk. Without answering, Doyle opened the driver side door and did a tuck-and-roll into the median.
Kirk didn’t have a chance to grab the wheel as he was hit on both sides and killed instantly.

 

[Princeton]

Okay guys, a new chapter is up, and I'd really appreciate some feedback!

 

[The Count]

... Whosajiggawhat? ! ?
So much for Sonny Jim, looks like he's out of the picture. Jerk to just reject his dad and potential girlfriend like that. But still...
And whas this potential dalliance of an alliance between Aurora and Doyle? Looking forward to what's next.

BTW: Dig around or search through the past threads in the Feedback section to fix that sizing issue.
BTW2: Was this Part 14? Please post more soon.

 

[Princeton]

Yes Ed, that was Chapter 14. Sorry I didn't specify that.

Yeah, the story had too many protagonists and not enough threat of what the villians can do, so I killed off Kirk. He seemed to be the most expendable. And I thought it was important to add another villain as Mr. Lords and Aurora tend to be a bit co-dependant and shuff off their duties on others. Ed, do you think these are good changes?