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theprawncracker
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Chapter 12
Kermit, Scooter, Fozzie, and the horse stared at Link and his traveling companions (Gonzo was up in a tree or something). The frog, bear, squire, and horse all held their heads at a cocked angle staring down the bone-headed porcine prince.
Scooter looked around at his own traveling companions. “Okay… if no one else is going to ask, I will,” he said, turning his attention back to Link. “Why were you in a bush?” the squire inquired (cute, cute rhyme).
“Umm…” Link hummed, biting his lip nervously. “I… lost my contact.”
“Heh, the only t’ing he’s lost is his mind!” Jeff, the brown, Jersey accented horse scoffed.
Wayne, the gray, proper horse smirked. “I beg to differ, old chap--in order to have lost something, one must have possession of said something in the first place,” he said.
“Your contact?” Scooter asked. “Surely they didn’t have contacts in the middle ages!”
Kermit put a hand on his squire’s shoulder. “Easy, Scooter, if you’re going to argue that someone might decide to bring up the issue of your glasses,” the frog whispered.
Scooter grimaced, not wanting to have his own person drawn into logistics. “Got it, chief,” he said.
“Hark, Link,” Kermit shouted. “I have a sneaking suspicion that you were following us!”
Link gasped ridiculously. “How dare you accuse me of such a reprehensible deed?” he asked. “I am a prince. We have no need to follow commoners such as you.”
Gonzo leapt from whatever tree he may have been in and landed in front of Kermit and the others. “Commoners?” he shouted. “I’m the most uncommon thing in the world!”
Strangepork peered over his glasses to look at Gonzo. “He’s probably right about z’at, Link,” he said.
“Foo!” Link shouted, annoyed. “I practiced all of those big words for hours…”
“And he’s not lying,” Strangepork added.
“Ah ha!” Kermit declared. “Then you are following us!”
Link sighed. “Yeah, yeah, you caught us…”
“Wow!” Fozzie declared. “That’s the first time anyone has ever wanted to follow my act!” he said. “Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!”
“I can see why,” Scooter said with a frown.
Kermit scrunched up his face and shook his head. Turning back to
Link, he sighed. “Why are you following us?” the frog asked.
“We got lost…” Link mumbled.
“I told Geoffrey not to take that left turn at Camelot…” Wayne sighed.
“It’s Jeff!” the other horse shouted. “And it wasn’t my fault! Who’s the one holdin’ the reigns in this relationship?” He shot an accusing glare at Strangepork.
“Yes, yes,” Strangepork interjected. “We got lost and z’en we saw your horse tied off at z’at filthy bar, so we waited for you to come out, simply to ask for directions. Then you came out--but someone--” he motioned to Link, “is deathly afraid of dogs. So… we jumped into z’e bush.”
Kermit exchanged glances with Fozzie, Scooter, and Gonzo. Scooter shrugged. “It’s so idiotic it has to be true, boss,” he said.
The frog shook his head. “Very well then,” he said. The brave and valiant knight mounted his horse and started back down the path again. “Come, squire, Fozzie, Gonzo, let us away!”
“Wait!” Link whined. “What about us?” he asked.
“You? …Umm… hold on,” Kermit said. He cleared his throat. “Erm… Gonzo, could you come here for a second?” he asked the weirdo.
Gonzo shrugged and shuffled over to the horse’s side and peered up and Kermit. “Yeah?”
“Listen,” Kermit whispered, leaning down to reach Gonzo’s lack-of-ear level, “as a brave and valiant knight--soon to be a brave and valiant king--I simply can’t lie. It would ruin my reputation.”
The Duke of Wherever nodded. “Understandable!” he said.
“So… since I can’t lie… I need someone else to give Link the wrong directions, got it?” Kermit asked.
Gonzo’s eyes widened. “You bet!” the weirdo shouted. “So would you prefer it if Fozzie or Scooter lied for you?” he asked.
Kermit frowned. “Neither!” he hissed. “You!”
“Ohh,” Gonzo said in realization. “Got it!”
The Duke darted daringly downwards, dousing dear dumb-dumb in dirt (isn’t alliteration wonderful?) (and completely pointless). “’Scuse me, Link!” Gonzo said.
Link looked down at the grinning blue thing with a big nose and an equally big hat (did I mention that hat earlier?). “…Yes?”
“Come here,” he said, grabbing Link by the shoulders and whispering in his ears. “I’m about to give you dead-on directions of how to get to this chalice we’re all searching for.”
“You are?” Link asked, humbled by the kindness of a weirdo. “That would be wonderful.”
“The others think I’m giving you my world-famous recipe for disaster--so just play along, okay?” Gonzo asked.
“Got it,” Link said.
“Good! Now…” Gonzo muttered something into Link’s ear then released him from his grasp. “Now get going!” he shouted.
“Umm…” Link said, looking at Kermit. “I’m not really good at good byes, so… Bye!” he shouted. Link hopped into his carriage and Strangepork cracked the reigns--they were off, headed down the path the opposite way of Kermit and the others.
Kermit looked at the weirdo. “What did you tell him, Gonzo?” he asked.
Gonzo shrugged. “I gave him very specifically vague directions back to my home--Wherever!”
“So more than likely they’ll wind up in a field somewhere?” Scooter asked.
“If they’re lucky!” Gonzo said. “A field would be much more scenic than Wherever is this time of year!”
Fozzie scratched his head. “You mean there really is a place called Wherever?”
“Not just a place, Fozzie,” Gonzo said, “an entire kingdom!”
“Where is it, exactly?” Kermit asked.
“Wherever!” Gonzo said with a grin.
Kermit stared at the weirdo. “…That’s either really deep or just completely ludicrous,” the frog said. “Either way, let us be off, men! We have a chalice to find!”
And with that Kermit the Frog, brave and valiant knight, Fozzie Bear, struggling comedian, Scooter, the squire of inquire, and Gonzo the Great, Duke of Wherever (located, conveniently, Wherever), all pointed in the right direction by the nose of Rowlf the Dog, punning bartender, continued down the path towards their destiny.
<-> <-> <-> <-> <->
Uncle Deadly waved his hands around the glowing orb that was his crystal ball. As the only light within the dark castle tower, it emitted an eerie glow onto everyone’s favorite dark wizard bent on conquering the kingdom.
“Now… let’s see if we can’t find a signal,” he said. The crystal ball buzzed and rang, trying to connect. “Cursed Middle-Age connection… I live in a tower and I still don’t have service!” he muttered.
Finally, the crystal ball clicked and the image of a path surrounded by bushes appeared within it. He waved his hands around it, apparently searching for something.
He stopped suddenly when he saw the back of Polly’s head in his crystal ball. “Perfect,” he mumbled. “Polly!” he shouted at the luminous sphere.
Within the ball, Polly jumped. He turned around suddenly and doubled back. “Boss? What are you doin’ here? Er… Well… your head’s here, anyway! The rest of ya seems to have checked out!”
“Quiet, you buffoon!” Deadly yelled. “There’s no time for explanations--I pay by the minute on this thing when I’m not calling another crystal ball.”
Clueless poked his head in the image. “You mean… we’re not on your friends and family plan?” he asked.
Uncle Deadly sighed. “Just be quiet!” he shouted. “Have you found the frog?”
Neither the lobster nor the goat responded.
“I asked you a question, you idiots!” Deadly hissed.
“But you told us to be quiet!” Polly said.
“Just answer me!”
“Yes sir, we’ve found the frog and his friends!” Polly said quickly.
“Good, good,” Uncle Deadly said menacingly. “Are they on the right track towards the chalice?”
Polly shrugged. “As far as I know, boss,” he said. “They got some help from this dog who seemed to know what he was talkin’ about. But, uh, boss… there is one itty-bitty problem.”
“I highly doubt that it is ‘itty-bitty’,” Uncle Deadly said. “What is it?”
“Well… two problems, really,” Polly said. “Both still itty-bitty though! Ya see… well… for starters, the frog might know we were followin’ him.”
“WHAT?” Deadly shouted, causing the crystal ball to shake. “How did you--wait… were following him? You lost them?”
“Yeah… but now they don’t even know we’re followin’ ‘em! ‘Cause we’re not! See? We already got rid of one itty-bitty problem!” Polly said.
As Uncle Deadly opened his huge blue mouth to let flow the rivers of his fiery anger, there came a knock upon his door.
He turned towards the door then back to the crystal ball. “You’re lucky,” he hissed. “I have company. But if you do not find that frog and his friends… I will find you!”
The dark wizard waved his hand and the crystal ball clicked off. He snapped his clawed fingers together and the blue flames lit themselves as he moved towards the door.
“Who is it?” he asked, faking the fakest kindly old man voice he could come up with.
“It’s Robin!” a cute little voice piped up through the door. “And friends!”
“Ah! Robin! My dear, dear little friend! Come in, come in! The door is always open!” Uncle Deadly said. “From your side…” he muttered.
The door opened and the twin pigs, the bear, the plunger-happy guard, the monster, and the little frog all bumbled inside the tiny tower room.
“My, my!” Uncle Deadly said. “What… big friends you have, Robin!” he said with a sneering grin.
Robin giggled. “They’re all castle guards, Uncle Deadly! This is Andy and Randy--the pigs, Bobo the Bear, Crazy Harry, and Sweetums--he’s the captain of the guard!” Robin bragged about his shaggy buddy.
Uncle Deadly raised his eyelids in an intrigued fashion. “You don’t say!” he said. “Well, dear friends, I am Uncle Deadly, a humble old magician locked away up in this tower against my will.”
“That’s okay, the rest of us are up here against our will too!” Bobo said, laughing. “I’m just kiddin’ ya there, blue, scaly, and creepy!” he slapped Uncle Deadly on the back with his paw. “We’ve really got nothing’ better to do!”
Uncle Deadly pushed off Bobo’s paw and feigned a grin. “You’re too kind,” he said. “Well my friends, can I interest you in some tea?”
“As long as there’s not an ‘NT’ attached to that ‘T’!” Bobo said, motioning to the fidgeting Crazy Harry, with another hearty laugh.
“Hexcellent,” Uncle Deadly said. “I’ll only be a minute.” He grinned wickedly and slipped off into the corner to prepare the tea.
“I’ve got a bad feelin’ about this, little buddy,” Sweetums whispered to Robin.
“What’s wrong?” Robin asked. “You don’t like tea?”
“Not exactly,” Sweetums said.
“Well that’s okay,” Robin said, “just don’t drink it. I’m not going to--Uncle Kermit doesn’t like me to have caffeine.”
Sweetums nodded, pulling Robin close to his chest. “Good idea.”
Meanwhile, in the corner, Uncle Deadly was confirming Sweetums’ suspicions as he waved his wand over the steaming cups of dark liquid in front of him. “This charm will sway even the most brilliant of minds to my evil cause,” he said. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed Andy and Randy Pig ramming into each other with their heads. “…Luckily it works on idiots too!” he said.
The wizard whipped around, holding the tray of six teacups in his hands. “Here we are, friends,” he said, smiling. “Six piping hot cups of Uncle Deadly’s secret recipe tea from the old country.”
Andy and Randy were the first to grab up the cups of tea and guzzle it down. “Ow!” Andy shouted. “It is hot!”
“It burns my throat!” Randy shouted.
Bobo grabbed up his cup and sloshed it down in one gulp. “Mmm… Could use some ice. And sugar.” He belched. “Still good though!” he laughed.
Crazy Harry took his cup in between his shaking hands and sipped it down. “Needs more of a kick!” he declared.
“That comes soon enough,” Uncle Deadly said with an evil grin. “Sweetums, Robin, care for some tea?” Uncle Deadly asked, pushing the tray towards the monster and the frog.
“No thanks,” Robin said, shaking his head. “My Uncle Kermit doesn’t let me have caffeine--he says it stunts my growth! And as a frog we’re already short enough.”
“And I’m not on the night shift tonight,” Sweetums said, “so I’d like to be able to sleep.” He lied.
“Oh, come now,” Uncle Deadly said, “It’s… decaf!” he pushed the tray even closer.
“No thanks,” Sweetums said, pushing the tray back with the hand Robin wasn’t in.
“I insist!” Deadly hissed.
Sweetums gulped. “Well, would ya look at the time… we’d better get going--got lots’a… Guard things to do!” he said. “Thanks for a… great time.” Sweetums grinned and headed towards the door.
Uncle Deadly dropped the tray on the ground. The teacups shattered as the blue dragon zipped past Sweetums and blocked the door. “You aren’t going anywhere,” he said with an evil grin. “Minions!” Deadly shouted. “Don’t let them escape!”
“Yes, Master…”
Sweetums turned around and watched his once-loyal guards as they marched towards him and Robin.
Robin clenched onto Sweetums loose piece of clothing with his little green hand. “Sweetums… I’m scared!” he said.
Sweetums’ face turned from one of fear to one of unbridled bravery. His lip clenched and his eyelid lowered in anger. “Hang on, little buddy,” he told Robin, squeezing him against his chest.
“OUTTA MY WAY!”
Sweetums barreled towards Uncle Deadly with his massive feet. He reached forward with his free hand and tossed the wizard out of the way. He pulled open the door and blew through the opening, and slammed the door closed behind him.
The monster didn’t look back until he was out of the tower and he had a large rock he found posted in front of the door.
Kermit, Scooter, Fozzie, and the horse stared at Link and his traveling companions (Gonzo was up in a tree or something). The frog, bear, squire, and horse all held their heads at a cocked angle staring down the bone-headed porcine prince.
Scooter looked around at his own traveling companions. “Okay… if no one else is going to ask, I will,” he said, turning his attention back to Link. “Why were you in a bush?” the squire inquired (cute, cute rhyme).
“Umm…” Link hummed, biting his lip nervously. “I… lost my contact.”
“Heh, the only t’ing he’s lost is his mind!” Jeff, the brown, Jersey accented horse scoffed.
Wayne, the gray, proper horse smirked. “I beg to differ, old chap--in order to have lost something, one must have possession of said something in the first place,” he said.
“Your contact?” Scooter asked. “Surely they didn’t have contacts in the middle ages!”
Kermit put a hand on his squire’s shoulder. “Easy, Scooter, if you’re going to argue that someone might decide to bring up the issue of your glasses,” the frog whispered.
Scooter grimaced, not wanting to have his own person drawn into logistics. “Got it, chief,” he said.
“Hark, Link,” Kermit shouted. “I have a sneaking suspicion that you were following us!”
Link gasped ridiculously. “How dare you accuse me of such a reprehensible deed?” he asked. “I am a prince. We have no need to follow commoners such as you.”
Gonzo leapt from whatever tree he may have been in and landed in front of Kermit and the others. “Commoners?” he shouted. “I’m the most uncommon thing in the world!”
Strangepork peered over his glasses to look at Gonzo. “He’s probably right about z’at, Link,” he said.
“Foo!” Link shouted, annoyed. “I practiced all of those big words for hours…”
“And he’s not lying,” Strangepork added.
“Ah ha!” Kermit declared. “Then you are following us!”
Link sighed. “Yeah, yeah, you caught us…”
“Wow!” Fozzie declared. “That’s the first time anyone has ever wanted to follow my act!” he said. “Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!”
“I can see why,” Scooter said with a frown.
Kermit scrunched up his face and shook his head. Turning back to
Link, he sighed. “Why are you following us?” the frog asked.
“We got lost…” Link mumbled.
“I told Geoffrey not to take that left turn at Camelot…” Wayne sighed.
“It’s Jeff!” the other horse shouted. “And it wasn’t my fault! Who’s the one holdin’ the reigns in this relationship?” He shot an accusing glare at Strangepork.
“Yes, yes,” Strangepork interjected. “We got lost and z’en we saw your horse tied off at z’at filthy bar, so we waited for you to come out, simply to ask for directions. Then you came out--but someone--” he motioned to Link, “is deathly afraid of dogs. So… we jumped into z’e bush.”
Kermit exchanged glances with Fozzie, Scooter, and Gonzo. Scooter shrugged. “It’s so idiotic it has to be true, boss,” he said.
The frog shook his head. “Very well then,” he said. The brave and valiant knight mounted his horse and started back down the path again. “Come, squire, Fozzie, Gonzo, let us away!”
“Wait!” Link whined. “What about us?” he asked.
“You? …Umm… hold on,” Kermit said. He cleared his throat. “Erm… Gonzo, could you come here for a second?” he asked the weirdo.
Gonzo shrugged and shuffled over to the horse’s side and peered up and Kermit. “Yeah?”
“Listen,” Kermit whispered, leaning down to reach Gonzo’s lack-of-ear level, “as a brave and valiant knight--soon to be a brave and valiant king--I simply can’t lie. It would ruin my reputation.”
The Duke of Wherever nodded. “Understandable!” he said.
“So… since I can’t lie… I need someone else to give Link the wrong directions, got it?” Kermit asked.
Gonzo’s eyes widened. “You bet!” the weirdo shouted. “So would you prefer it if Fozzie or Scooter lied for you?” he asked.
Kermit frowned. “Neither!” he hissed. “You!”
“Ohh,” Gonzo said in realization. “Got it!”
The Duke darted daringly downwards, dousing dear dumb-dumb in dirt (isn’t alliteration wonderful?) (and completely pointless). “’Scuse me, Link!” Gonzo said.
Link looked down at the grinning blue thing with a big nose and an equally big hat (did I mention that hat earlier?). “…Yes?”
“Come here,” he said, grabbing Link by the shoulders and whispering in his ears. “I’m about to give you dead-on directions of how to get to this chalice we’re all searching for.”
“You are?” Link asked, humbled by the kindness of a weirdo. “That would be wonderful.”
“The others think I’m giving you my world-famous recipe for disaster--so just play along, okay?” Gonzo asked.
“Got it,” Link said.
“Good! Now…” Gonzo muttered something into Link’s ear then released him from his grasp. “Now get going!” he shouted.
“Umm…” Link said, looking at Kermit. “I’m not really good at good byes, so… Bye!” he shouted. Link hopped into his carriage and Strangepork cracked the reigns--they were off, headed down the path the opposite way of Kermit and the others.
Kermit looked at the weirdo. “What did you tell him, Gonzo?” he asked.
Gonzo shrugged. “I gave him very specifically vague directions back to my home--Wherever!”
“So more than likely they’ll wind up in a field somewhere?” Scooter asked.
“If they’re lucky!” Gonzo said. “A field would be much more scenic than Wherever is this time of year!”
Fozzie scratched his head. “You mean there really is a place called Wherever?”
“Not just a place, Fozzie,” Gonzo said, “an entire kingdom!”
“Where is it, exactly?” Kermit asked.
“Wherever!” Gonzo said with a grin.
Kermit stared at the weirdo. “…That’s either really deep or just completely ludicrous,” the frog said. “Either way, let us be off, men! We have a chalice to find!”
And with that Kermit the Frog, brave and valiant knight, Fozzie Bear, struggling comedian, Scooter, the squire of inquire, and Gonzo the Great, Duke of Wherever (located, conveniently, Wherever), all pointed in the right direction by the nose of Rowlf the Dog, punning bartender, continued down the path towards their destiny.
<-> <-> <-> <-> <->
Uncle Deadly waved his hands around the glowing orb that was his crystal ball. As the only light within the dark castle tower, it emitted an eerie glow onto everyone’s favorite dark wizard bent on conquering the kingdom.
“Now… let’s see if we can’t find a signal,” he said. The crystal ball buzzed and rang, trying to connect. “Cursed Middle-Age connection… I live in a tower and I still don’t have service!” he muttered.
Finally, the crystal ball clicked and the image of a path surrounded by bushes appeared within it. He waved his hands around it, apparently searching for something.
He stopped suddenly when he saw the back of Polly’s head in his crystal ball. “Perfect,” he mumbled. “Polly!” he shouted at the luminous sphere.
Within the ball, Polly jumped. He turned around suddenly and doubled back. “Boss? What are you doin’ here? Er… Well… your head’s here, anyway! The rest of ya seems to have checked out!”
“Quiet, you buffoon!” Deadly yelled. “There’s no time for explanations--I pay by the minute on this thing when I’m not calling another crystal ball.”
Clueless poked his head in the image. “You mean… we’re not on your friends and family plan?” he asked.
Uncle Deadly sighed. “Just be quiet!” he shouted. “Have you found the frog?”
Neither the lobster nor the goat responded.
“I asked you a question, you idiots!” Deadly hissed.
“But you told us to be quiet!” Polly said.
“Just answer me!”
“Yes sir, we’ve found the frog and his friends!” Polly said quickly.
“Good, good,” Uncle Deadly said menacingly. “Are they on the right track towards the chalice?”
Polly shrugged. “As far as I know, boss,” he said. “They got some help from this dog who seemed to know what he was talkin’ about. But, uh, boss… there is one itty-bitty problem.”
“I highly doubt that it is ‘itty-bitty’,” Uncle Deadly said. “What is it?”
“Well… two problems, really,” Polly said. “Both still itty-bitty though! Ya see… well… for starters, the frog might know we were followin’ him.”
“WHAT?” Deadly shouted, causing the crystal ball to shake. “How did you--wait… were following him? You lost them?”
“Yeah… but now they don’t even know we’re followin’ ‘em! ‘Cause we’re not! See? We already got rid of one itty-bitty problem!” Polly said.
As Uncle Deadly opened his huge blue mouth to let flow the rivers of his fiery anger, there came a knock upon his door.
He turned towards the door then back to the crystal ball. “You’re lucky,” he hissed. “I have company. But if you do not find that frog and his friends… I will find you!”
The dark wizard waved his hand and the crystal ball clicked off. He snapped his clawed fingers together and the blue flames lit themselves as he moved towards the door.
“Who is it?” he asked, faking the fakest kindly old man voice he could come up with.
“It’s Robin!” a cute little voice piped up through the door. “And friends!”
“Ah! Robin! My dear, dear little friend! Come in, come in! The door is always open!” Uncle Deadly said. “From your side…” he muttered.
The door opened and the twin pigs, the bear, the plunger-happy guard, the monster, and the little frog all bumbled inside the tiny tower room.
“My, my!” Uncle Deadly said. “What… big friends you have, Robin!” he said with a sneering grin.
Robin giggled. “They’re all castle guards, Uncle Deadly! This is Andy and Randy--the pigs, Bobo the Bear, Crazy Harry, and Sweetums--he’s the captain of the guard!” Robin bragged about his shaggy buddy.
Uncle Deadly raised his eyelids in an intrigued fashion. “You don’t say!” he said. “Well, dear friends, I am Uncle Deadly, a humble old magician locked away up in this tower against my will.”
“That’s okay, the rest of us are up here against our will too!” Bobo said, laughing. “I’m just kiddin’ ya there, blue, scaly, and creepy!” he slapped Uncle Deadly on the back with his paw. “We’ve really got nothing’ better to do!”
Uncle Deadly pushed off Bobo’s paw and feigned a grin. “You’re too kind,” he said. “Well my friends, can I interest you in some tea?”
“As long as there’s not an ‘NT’ attached to that ‘T’!” Bobo said, motioning to the fidgeting Crazy Harry, with another hearty laugh.
“Hexcellent,” Uncle Deadly said. “I’ll only be a minute.” He grinned wickedly and slipped off into the corner to prepare the tea.
“I’ve got a bad feelin’ about this, little buddy,” Sweetums whispered to Robin.
“What’s wrong?” Robin asked. “You don’t like tea?”
“Not exactly,” Sweetums said.
“Well that’s okay,” Robin said, “just don’t drink it. I’m not going to--Uncle Kermit doesn’t like me to have caffeine.”
Sweetums nodded, pulling Robin close to his chest. “Good idea.”
Meanwhile, in the corner, Uncle Deadly was confirming Sweetums’ suspicions as he waved his wand over the steaming cups of dark liquid in front of him. “This charm will sway even the most brilliant of minds to my evil cause,” he said. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed Andy and Randy Pig ramming into each other with their heads. “…Luckily it works on idiots too!” he said.
The wizard whipped around, holding the tray of six teacups in his hands. “Here we are, friends,” he said, smiling. “Six piping hot cups of Uncle Deadly’s secret recipe tea from the old country.”
Andy and Randy were the first to grab up the cups of tea and guzzle it down. “Ow!” Andy shouted. “It is hot!”
“It burns my throat!” Randy shouted.
Bobo grabbed up his cup and sloshed it down in one gulp. “Mmm… Could use some ice. And sugar.” He belched. “Still good though!” he laughed.
Crazy Harry took his cup in between his shaking hands and sipped it down. “Needs more of a kick!” he declared.
“That comes soon enough,” Uncle Deadly said with an evil grin. “Sweetums, Robin, care for some tea?” Uncle Deadly asked, pushing the tray towards the monster and the frog.
“No thanks,” Robin said, shaking his head. “My Uncle Kermit doesn’t let me have caffeine--he says it stunts my growth! And as a frog we’re already short enough.”
“And I’m not on the night shift tonight,” Sweetums said, “so I’d like to be able to sleep.” He lied.
“Oh, come now,” Uncle Deadly said, “It’s… decaf!” he pushed the tray even closer.
“No thanks,” Sweetums said, pushing the tray back with the hand Robin wasn’t in.
“I insist!” Deadly hissed.
Sweetums gulped. “Well, would ya look at the time… we’d better get going--got lots’a… Guard things to do!” he said. “Thanks for a… great time.” Sweetums grinned and headed towards the door.
Uncle Deadly dropped the tray on the ground. The teacups shattered as the blue dragon zipped past Sweetums and blocked the door. “You aren’t going anywhere,” he said with an evil grin. “Minions!” Deadly shouted. “Don’t let them escape!”
“Yes, Master…”
Sweetums turned around and watched his once-loyal guards as they marched towards him and Robin.
Robin clenched onto Sweetums loose piece of clothing with his little green hand. “Sweetums… I’m scared!” he said.
Sweetums’ face turned from one of fear to one of unbridled bravery. His lip clenched and his eyelid lowered in anger. “Hang on, little buddy,” he told Robin, squeezing him against his chest.
“OUTTA MY WAY!”
Sweetums barreled towards Uncle Deadly with his massive feet. He reached forward with his free hand and tossed the wizard out of the way. He pulled open the door and blew through the opening, and slammed the door closed behind him.
The monster didn’t look back until he was out of the tower and he had a large rock he found posted in front of the door.
*glomp* Thanks man! SO much!
