Fan Fiction: Muppet Beach Party

[Muppetfan44]

Hey Everyone;

So it's been quite a while since I've written a new fan fic so I figured I should attempt another one. I've been wanting to write a fan-fic based on the Muppet Beach Party album for a while and this summer just seemed like the perfect time to do it..I hopefully will be able to finish it before the summer ends, but I thought it would be nice to have a silly-summer- fun story on here to help counter-balance the awesome and intense dramas we have going on on the fic threads ( I LOVE them all by the way). Just think of this story as one that's not of such a heavy-duty proportion! Just light and fun, and hopefully entertaining. Anyway, here is the first chapter of my take on Muppet Beach Party!

Enjoy!

Chapter 1- Surfin USA
It was a quiet summer morning out on the sunny beach close to Hollywood California. You can hear the gentle rush of the waves bounce alone the shore line while the wind slowly breezes through the tall palm trees. The weather is perfect- not too hot but definitely a clear, sunny day (definitely the kind of day that sweeps the clouds away, hehe). No one could paint a more serene and peaceful picture than this…..bright sky, calm breeze, roaring engine…

Roaring engine! Yep, suddenly a van screeches into a small parking area next to the sandy beach and all heck breaks loose as everyone starts getting out of the van.

One by one the Muppets pile out of the van that they all piled into a few hours ago. Cheers and laughter erupted as they all clamored to get out of the van along with all the stuff they brought to enjoy the day. Gonzo’s crazed laugh and Clifford’s distinct low chuckle ring out as doors open and shut, and open again after shutting people back in the van.

“Let’s get everything out of the van” said Kermit in a leaderly-like fashion, with everyone voicing their agreement while unpacking the packed-to-the-max van. “Fozzie, you have the Frisbee?” said Kermit to his best pal.

I sure do!” said Fozzie who gripped the popular beach toy in his hand while helping Gonzo get out the beach balls and rescue inner tube (that Gonzo would surely need later).

“I have the towels Kermie!” said Piggy carrying a huge pile of fluffy beach towels and her beach bag containing her sinfully small swimwear (which shall remain un-named until later).

"Perfect!” said Kermit, glad that there would be plenty of towels for the gang, as well as to cover Piggy up after putting on whatever swimsuit she had that would bring a little too much sex appeal to this summer family vacation of theirs.

"And I’ve got the sunscreen, hoo hoo hoo!” said Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, making sure to bring enough for everyone, especially Beaker because he somehow knew that Beakie burned very easily when close to any light source…

“Okay!” said Kermit while checking off the list of things they brought for the day while Robin was trying to get his attention. “Uncle Kermit! Uncle Kermit!” shouted Robin to his uncle.

“Yes?” said Kermit cheerfully.

“All the frog scouts have their flippers!”

“Perfect!” said Kermit as everyone groaned! “That’s a joke!” said Robin to his uncle who obviously didn’t get the terrible pun. Kermit was happy to have Robin invite the other frog scouts along on this vacation. Robin didn’t get to see them too often and it was nice for Robin to be able to hang out with frogs his own age, instead of older bears that taught him really bad jokes.

“We’re at the beach!” said Clifford, reminding the little green dude that this was a vacation and not another opening for another show (*rimshot* these puns and references are flying out of my fingers, haha! Am I cookin or what!)

“That’s right, because we’re gonna have a beach party!” shouted Kermit, followed by a ton of happy cheering from the gang.

They were all ready for a vacation…even though they weren’t doing any big movies right now they all were super busy with guest appearances, recording albums, and very popular video releases. Bean Bunny couldn’t even come with the gang because he was still busy finishing up the Tale of the Bunny Picnic video that was to come out soon. Kermit had a new book coming out about life in the 90’s and all of the Muppets would soon start plugging the new book about Jim. Everyone was still sad about losing their beloved friend and mentor just three short years ago, but they kept his memory alive by doing one of the best versions of The Christmas Carol ever and working on other projects so they could keep making people happy, just like Jim would have wanted it. The Muppets were busier than ever…and couldn’t have been happier about it.

The ocean waves crashed onto the beach as everyone began setting up the beach games. The roar of the waves was enough to send nearly everyone searching through the big pile of surf boards of various sizes so they could go out and catch some waves (or in Gonzo’s case, try to get the waves to catch him!)

"Hey Clifford!” shouted Kermit.

“Yeah Kerm?” said Clifford while putting the finishing touches on waxing his surfboard. Clifford was still pretty new to the gang, but he fit right in. Kermit tried to spend more time with him than some of the other Muppets until Clifford was more comfortable with the group. Kermit saw something special in Clifford while doing the Jim Henson Hour. He had talent, charisma, and brought a little spunk and hipness to the classic gang that was very much needed. Kermit definitely had some plans in store for his new funky friend, and was excited for the chance to take a back seat on some of the new upcoming projects coming through the pipeline.

“Let’s go surfin’!” said Kermit, grabbing for his own board.

“Sounds good to me!” exclaimed Clifford, cueing up the song perfectly!

“If everybody had an ocean..” sang Kermit

“Yeah?” chimed in Clifford

“Across the U.S.A” sang Kermit in his best Beach Boys impersonation, followed by Clifford’s all too-familiar laugh. Some of the surf rats popped up out of nowhere and started singing backup while paddling out on the surf

“Then everybody’d be surfin…like Californ-I-A” sang Kermit as he watched some of gang paddle out on the waves.

“Go on!” said Clifford, telling Kermit to keep going with the song and to get out in the water to catch some waves.

“You’d see ‘em wearin’ their baggies” sang Kermit, not entirely sure what baggies were..

“That’s right!” chimed in Clifford

“Huarachi sandals too” sang Kermit, really glad he didn’t have to worry about proper beach foot wear, flippers were always in style at the beach. (aww come on I had to do it; blame the bear! Blame the bear!)

“I got mine on!” said Clifford, making sure everyone knew he was always in style!

“A bushy bushy blonde hairdo” sang Kermit, which reminded him of a certain someone with very bushy blonde hair…

“oooh” crooned Clifford, thinking he wouldn’t mind skipping the surfing to find his own beach babe.

“Surfin USA!” sang Kermit as he and Clifford paddled out onto the water in hopes of catching the next wave.

Without missing a beat, Kermit and Clifford kept singing as they caught a wave and started surfing. “You’d catch ‘em surfin’ at Del Mar”

Inside, Outside, USA chimed in the surf rats while riding the waves with Kermit and Clifford

“Ventura County Line”.. sang Kermit while keeping perfect balance on his board

Inside, Outside, USA

“Santa Cruz and Tressels” ..sang Kermit as he pointed to the places he sang about on a map being held by a rat sitting on two other rats’ shoulders, surfing right next to Kermit. “Might as well teach a little geography” ..thought Kermit.

Inside, Outside, USA

“Australia’s Narabine” wait, thought Kermit, is that in the U.S.? ( I sucked at geography as a kid so I have no idea either)

Inside, Outside USA.. (the latter probably being outside USA…?)

"All over Manhattan” sang Kermit, even though he was fairly certain that it would be very difficult to find somewhere to surf in Manhattan…maybe cab surfing or something…

Inside, Outside, USA

“That’s my neighborhood!” shouted Clifford while doing quite an impressive jump on the waves, finally glad to recognize a place Kermit was singing about.

“and down Doheny way” sang Kermit as he tried to copy Clifford’s move but almost wiped out (wait, that song is later on in the story..getting ahead of myself here…)

Inside, Outside, USA

"Everybody’s gone surfin’ “ sang Clifford along with the surf rats

“Oh yeah!” shouted Kermit, adding a little bit of his style to the tune

“Surfin’ USA” sang Kermit and Clifford together.

“We’ll all be plannin’ out a route” sang Kermit, thinking that he could go for some mighty tasty roots from the swamp right now.. (come on…you had to know that one was coming!)

“Yeah” said Clifford

“We’re gonna take real soon” sang Kermit while almost losing his balance while trying to make a jump on his board. Clifford just smiled and laughed.

“We’re waxing down our surfboards” ..sang Kermit thinking someone must have waxed the wrong side of his board.. he usually didn’t have a problem keeping his balance on the water…maybe that was because he is usually in the water and not on top of the water, but no time to worry about that now…

“I got my wax!” said Clifford, hoping Kermit didn’t notice that he waxed the wrong side of Kermit’s board in hopes of getting him to fall off his board before Clifford fell off his.

“We can’t wait for June” sang Kermit, wondering how much wax did Clifford use on his board

“Why not?” asked Clifford

“We’ll all be gone for the summer… we’re on safari to stay” sang Kermit

“Tell the teacher we’re surfin’ “ shouted Kermit as he lost his balance and almost lost his board.

“Surfin’ USA” harmonized Kermit and Clifford together before catching one last huge wave for the second chorus.

“At Haggerty’s and Swami’s” sang Kermit while both he and the surf rats looked at the map, having no idea where these places were…they decided to ditch the geography lesson and focus on the waves…

Inside, Outside, USA

Pacific Palisades” sang Kermit (Palisades? as in the Muppets Palisades action figures? Now I’m getting wayyyy too ahead of myself here…. the fic writer apologizes for this huge reference of Muppet nerdiness…back to the song

Inside, Outside, USA, sang Clifford along with the surf rats, who were surfing circles around Kermit and Clifford throughout the entire song

“San Onofre and Sunset” (that’s better!)

Inside, Outside, USA

“Sing it Kermit!” shouted Kermit. He was glad that Kermit took the lead on this one…he had no idea what or where these crazy places were, except for Manhattan…maybe he should brush up on his USA geography after the beach party…

“Redondo Beach, LA” sang Kermit

Inside, Outside, USA

“All over La Jolla” sang Kermit

Inside, Outside, USA

“at Waimea Bay” sang Kermit, wondering if Waimea Bay is anywhere near Kokomo (I know, I know, but this is the first song..and such a great song to help hint to the rest of the tunes; I couldn’t resist!)

Inside, Outside, USA

“Everybody’s gone surfin’ “ sang Kermit with the surf rats

“Surfin’ USA “ harmonized Kermit and Clifford as they rode their boards to shore to see how everyone else was doing on the waves

“Wow, hey look at those guys goin’ out there!” said Kermit to Clifford as they watched Gonzo and Rizzo twirl around a wave

“Yeah they can really boogie on those waves!” said Clifford.

“Ooh look at that!” shouted Kermit as Beaker got tossed into the waves while trying to hold Dr. Bunsen Honeydew in the air while riding a huge wave. Clifford busted out laughing.

“Hey look at those rats!” said Kermit pointing to the huge group of rats surfing on one board.

“Yeah, doing a pyramid!” said Clifford. That’s one thing you don’t see everyday. Hey! maybe they were doing the pyramid of Cheeza! (get it? Cheeza instead of Giza! I know, I know! I hang around with the bear too much..but I though it was funny J

“Yeah, You know what Clifford? I think the whole gang is out there” said Kermit as he saw that just about everyone was out on the waves trying to surf, some doing much better than others…poor Fozzie was just lying on his boogie board trying to paddle away from the waves.

“You got that right Kerm!” said Clifford.

“Everybody’s gone surfin’ “ sang Clifford

“Surfin’ USA!” sang Kermit and Clifford while imitating to surf on the sand.

“Everybody’s gone surfin’ “ sang Clifford as he did a handstand on his board…which he could do a lot easier on the sand instead of on the water

“Surfin’ USA” sang Kermit and Clifford while watching all their friends start to surf, paddle, swim, or in Gonzo’s case, crash to the shore

“Everybody’s gone Surfin’ yeah!” sang Kermit

Surfin’ USA” sang Kermit and Clifford. They both looked at each other, winked and picked up their surf boards again.

“Hey Clifford!” shouted Kermit

“Yeah Kerm?” said Clifford, even though he already knew what Kermit was going to say.

“Let’s go surfin’ “ said Kermit as he started heading out towards the water

“Hang Ten Kerm!” said Clifford shortly before realizing that Kermit could only hang eight? Whatever…Kermit knew what he meant.

Everybody’s gone surfin”

“Surfin’ USA!” sang Kermit and Clifford one last time as the song ended with Animal shouting as he started to paddle on his board and chase some women who were surfing nearby… fortunately a rolling wave caught him and the girls were able to get away.

Kermit was about to join Clifford in another round of surfing when he noticed Miss Piggy sitting on the beach with her feet completely stuck in the sand up to her ankles. She was trying to get her feet out of the sand with little success. She saw Kermit and waved him over.

“Kermie, help me up..” said Piggy sweetly while trying to get unstuck from the sand as gracefully as possible.

“Ok” said Kermit as he grabbed her arm while both of them struggled to get Piggy into a standing position. They finally managed to get her to stand and she shook the sand out of her shoes.

“Are you ok?” asked Kermit, wondering how she got stuck in the first place.

“Well I got sand in my heels” said Piggy like it was perfectly natural to wear stiletto heals on the beach, thinking that the beach should have accommodated so that she could walk freely in her highly fashionable foot wear. Her shoes made her legs look fantastic so there was no way she wasn’t going to wear them, especially now that she was next to Kermit.

“Oh” said Kermit, pretending to sound like he understood; it usually worked out best that way.

“I’m going to the locker now to put on my bikini, now don’t you look!” said Piggy very quickly and coquettishly as she cupped Kermit’s chin, then sashayed to the beach lockers close by.

Kermit scrunched up his face. “Don’t worry, I won’t” said Kermit sarcastically. Kermit simply shook his head while he grabbed his surf board and went to join Clifford out on the waves…

 

[redBoobergurl]

Awesome! I agree we need a nice lighthearted fic (especially as one of the writers of the dark drama!). I like how you tie in all the things going on around the time the album came out and I LOVE all your puns, hilarious! Keep it coming!

 

[The Count]

That was a good start. Definitely a fun story I hope gets continued. It reminds me of the story A Green & Red Christmas co-authored by PuppyLuver and ZootyCutie, it's on hiatus, find it in the FLI and nag them to continue it please. *End plug.
All the references did make me laugh and enjoy this first chapter. Also, I know videos for Kokomo and Wipeout were made... But I remember an appearance Kermit and Clifford made on GMA promoting the album where Clifford joked they would change Kermit's name to a variation of Prince's "Artist Known As" symbol. They then sang Under The Boardwalk, even though Clifford and the Surf Rats sing it on the album.
*Note: In the actual recording by the Drifters, the fourth line of the chorus for the first two times is "we'll be making love before switching to "we'll be "falling in" love" for the third, which of course got changed to "we'll be falling in love" all three times for the Muppets' version.

LMK if you'd want the album and I can send it straight over via sendspace to your addy.

Thanks for this... More please!

 

[Muppetfan44]

Thanks guys! I'm glad you liked it and I'll definitely keep it going...

I have the album and I love it, that's why I wanted to write this fic so much. I remember getting the tape cassette when I was 8 or 9.

If you have the recording from the GMA appearance, I would LOVE to hear that; I never even knew that existed!

I did notice the "making love" vs. "falling in love" distinction. I'm a big fan of the drifters so when I first heard Clifford's version I knew something was different. I can understand why but come on...the way Clifford was singing, the words meant pretty much the same thing....lol.

Keep on the lookout for Chapter 2, Wooly Bully! I'll post it soon!

 

[animalrescuer]

This is awesome! I think it's a terrific idea making a fanfic based on a Muppet album. I never heard the album before, but I like where this is going so far.

 

[The Count]

Sorry Ari, but I don't have that MUP3. At least we have our memories... And this fic. *Waits for Chapter 2.

 

[Muppetfan44]

Chapter 2- Wooly Bully

Hey everyone! Here's chapter 2 of Muppet Beach Party. Also, this is kind of a milestone for me because this will be my 444th post on Muppetcentral! (My favorite number is 4, if you couldn't already tell). So glad that it's fan-fiction. Enjoy Chapter 2!


Chapter 2- Wooly Bully

Meanwhile…Gonzo, Rizzo and Fozzie swam to the shore because they wanted to take a break from surfing (or in Fozzie’s case, paddling back and forth on the waves and in Gonzo’s case crashing in the waves and letting them suck him under to see how long he could hold his breath.) This made the local lifeguard breathe a huge sigh of relief. They all tossed their surf boards onto the sand and decided to use the sun to dry off (they couldn’t find any of the towels that Miss Piggy took out of the van).

Kermit ran past them as he was heading out to the water and called them over. “Hey guys!” he said as he waved.

“Hey Kermit!” said Fozzie. “What’s up o frog of my heart?...please don’t say the surf because I am really tired of paddling out there!”

Kermit just laughed, “No Fozzie, I was going to ask you guys if you could find a place on the beach for everyone to meet up for games and the clam bake tonight”

“Oh cool, I love beach games” said Gonzo. “Nothing beats a good ol’ game of crab pinching, sand eating or pin the tail on the jellyfish! I’ll definitely win crab pinching because I can get tons those little crabs to grab onto my nose!” said Gonzo laughing, picturing how much fun it would be to be in that much pain.

“I don’t’ know what beach games you’re talking about Gonzo” said Kermit. “I’m talking about more traditional beach games like volleyball and uh, well I think Fozzie has a good beach game in mind, don’t ya?” said Kermit looking to his bear buddy for a little help.

“You bet!” said Fozzie. “ I got a great idea for a beach game we can play..you’ll see” said Fozzie, not wanting to spoil the surprise. (the characters are sooo much better at not getting ahead of the story than the little ol’ fanfic writer here..oh they grow up so fast don’t they? *wipes tear from her eye*)

“And besides” said Rizzo, “the most important thing we need to think about is the clam bake here!” That was Rizzo; food is always first on his mind. “Come on guys, let’s go find a spot, then we can finally go get something to eat!”

“Sounds good” said Kermit. “I’ll catch up with you guys later!” and with that, Kermit grabbed onto his surf board and ran into the water to catch some more waves with Clifford.

So Fozzie, Gonzo and Rizzo walked along the beach looking for a perfect place for beach games and the upcoming clam bake. Fozzie reminded Gonzo and Rizzo that they needed to find a place where they could safely light a fire. Fozzie’s cousin always told everyone that “only you can prevent forest fires”, but Fozzie was pretty sure that the same goes for beach fires too.

After walking along the shoreline for awhile, they finally found the perfect spot for the clambake and beach games. They found a nice little spot with some tall palm trees to block the breeze, a nice sandy area for the volleyball net and the area was dry enough for the fire for the clam bake. Fozzie even discovered a small, circular gated area just past the palm trees that would be perfect for the fire pit. The area definitely looked abandoned, but there was a large mass of what Fozzie thought was dirt and junk in the middle of the ground. Fozzie opened the gate, walked over to the middle of the area and tried to move everything but the heap just wouldn’t budge. Fozzie called over to Gonzo and Rizzo, “Hey guys, help me move this pile of dirt and junk”.

Gonzo and Rizzo went inside the gate, which accidentally closed behind them. As they started to move closer to Fozzie the huge pile of dirt started to move. Gonzo and Rizzo stared at Fozzie, who was facing the other way and did not notice the huge dirt-pile move, with very wide-eyed expressions.

“Uh Fozzie” said Rizzo quietly. “I don’t think that’s a pile of dirt.”

“What d’ya mean?” asked Fozzie.

Rizzo just pointed and as Fozzie turned around to see what he was pointing at, the big bull that Fozzie woke up started to roar…he was DEFINITELY not happy!

Fozzie, Gonzo and Rizzo all ran to the gate before the bull was really awake and could charge them. Unfortunately the gate was stuck shut and it wouldn’t budge.

“What are we gonna do!” whispered Rizzo so as not to tick off the bull even further.

“ I don’t know!” whimpered Fozzie. “Maybe we can find somewhere in here to hide so that the bull can’t find us and just goes back to sleep”

“That’s it!” said Gonzo. “We need to get that thing to go back to sleep!” “I’ve got an idea”

“And what would that be? You gonna sing that big, wooly beast a lullaby?” said Rizzo sarcastically.

“Exactly!" said Gonzo. “and I know just the song. Come here you guys; I’ll need your help”. Gonzo whispered to Rizzo and Fozzie the name of the song he wanted them to sing. Fozzie became really confused and Rizzo did not look happy either. Really, that song is gonna put him back to sleep? Realizing that they didn’t have any other options, they all nodded and began to sing the weirdest lullaby ever, but hey….this IS Gonzo we’re talking about here!

“Uno! “ shouted Gonzo.

“Dos!” shouted Rizzo

One, Two, Tres, Quatro!” shouted Gonzo and Rizzo back and forth.

“Ah Gonzo!” shouted Fozzie, pointing to the bull that was now looking in their direction.

“Hey!” shouted Gonzo to the bull, trying to get his attention. Meanwhile, Zoot was playing his sax a little further out on the beach, which surprisingly was the perfect back-up music for the song Gonzo, Fozzie and Rizzo were singing to the bull (What an unbelievable coincidence, the writer says with a smile!)

Rizzo began to laugh, trying to hide his fear and anxiety from the bull as it started to slowly move closer to them.

“Ah” said Fozzie while he was moving around the edge of the fence, trying to keep his distance from the bull.

“Wooly Bully!” said Gonzo while he was moving around the fence in the other direction, hoping to confuse the tired and angry bull they were trapped with.

“yeah Wocka Wocka!” said Fozzie, not sure at all that this was going to work.

“Watch it now, watch it!” said Rizzo, staying put right by the gate of the fence, watching the bully, I mean bull, try to keep track of the three intruders while roaring. Yep, definitely not happy!.

“Yeah Rizzo!” said Fozzie as we watched the bull becoming confused…maybe their plan was working.

“Here he come, Here he come” said Gonzo, moving slowly as the bull started to move towards him.

“Where? Where!” said Fozzie.

“I like it!” shouted Rizzo, getting into the song and LOVING that the big hairy beast was moving away from him. The bull started to make a snorting sound, trying to clear his nose.

“Here we go!” shouted Fozzie. “Oh boy!” said Fozzie. This was going to be a tough spot to get out of.

“Watch it now, he’ll getcha!” said Gonzo, loving every minute of this.

“Yeah” said Fozzie trying to sound convincing that he was getting into the song but not quite pulling it off. Janice stood next to Zoot in the distance, playing her guitar. She wanted to join in on his jam session because it sounded like fun.

“Here goes” said Rizzo, not sure that this was going to work, but he might as well have fun with it.

“Matty told Hatty” sang Gonzo

“Yeah?” asked Fozzie

“About a thing she saw” sang Gonzo, pointing to the bull, who was still heading in his direction.

“What’d she see?” asked Fozzie, playing along hoping to confuse the bull even more.

“It had two big horns…..and a wooly jaw” sang Gonzo pointing to the very sharp horns and VERY wooly jaw of the bull, who stopped and looked at Gonzo, thinking he shouldn’t be talking about seeing things, what was he anyway, a turkey or something?

“WOOLY BULLY” harmonized Gonzo, Rizzo and Fozzie. “WOOLY BULLY” they sang again, but a lot lower. This definitely frightened the bull, who now started to sound like an elephant (don’t ask me why folks, it’s on the album for some reason)

“Yeah right!” shouted Gonzo, thinking the bull was trying to sing along.

“WOOLY BULLY…WOOLY BULLY, WOOLY BULLY” they sang, trying to get the bull to look in all directions and get disoriented. (also because they liked singing Wooly Bully!)

“Watch it now, here I come!” said Rizzo with a chuckle to distract the bull, who kept heading towards Gonzo. He climbed on a fence post hoping to stay out of reach from the fully wooly bully (you know I had to do it!) Maybe he could get the bull to run into the fence hard enough to knock him out that way, because this song sure ain’t putting him to sleep, he thought.

“ Hatty told Matty!” sang Rizzo, totally getting into the song.

“Yeah” praised Fozzie, glad that the bull wasn’t paying attention to him.

“Let’s don’t take no chance!” sang Rizzo from the top of the fence. “Let’s not be L7”

"L7?" said Fozzie. What the heck does that mean?

“OKAY, TIME OUT!” said the bull now completely standing upright.

“What?” said Gonzo (and the writer) while Fozzie and Rizzo just stared at the bull, surprised that he could stand that way and more importantly, that he could talk (hey, I'm surprised too, this is definitely not in the album)

"u have no idea how many times people sing this song while I’m around, and I still have no idea what L7 means. Someone better explain it or this song skit is OVER and I’ll really give you something to be scared about!” Frank the Bull had enough of, well, all the bull (HA!) Just because he was a bull and he was wooly, he always had to deal with this stupid song! If he had to put up with, he should at least know what it means anyway.

“Alright, Alright, I’ll tell ya! Jeez” said Rizzo. “Wooly Bully was written by Domingo “Sam” Samudio of Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs in 1965. He wrote is as a tribute to the Hully Gully dance but had to name the song Wooly Bully because of some legal issues. “Let’s not be L7” refers to a warning not to be square, or dull, because if humans take their thumbs and pointer fingers, they can make a square with their hands by making an L in their left hand and a 7 in their right hand.” Rizzo tried to demonstrate but rats don’t have thumbs, but everybody got the idea. “It may not be much but that’s why” said Rizzo.

“Rizzo what are you doing?” asked Gonzo.

“I’m using my sincerity and humorous irreverence to convey real information” said Rizzo. He found out that he ended up doing that a lot. (wink wink)

“Oh, thanks” said Frank the Bull. I never knew that, he thought.

“You’re welcome” said Rizzo.

“CAN WE GET BACK TO THE STORY NOW?” asked the writer. (Just as you think they’re all grown up and don’t go off topic they completely stop the song and the story and start to educate…Muppets! jeez)

“Alright!” said Frank, who stood on all fours again, look not as confused but angry again that he was awoken from his slumber. (he liked thinking with a big vocabulary too!)

Just as if nothing happened, the music came back and Rizzo sang, “Come and learn to dance!”.

“WOOLY BULLY” harmonized the three, definitely enjoying the song more knowing some of the thinking behind it. “WOOLY BULLY” sang Rizzo and Gonzo a lot lower while Fozzie pretty much just shouted Wooly Bully to get the bull away from Rizzo. The bull roared in anger and started heading towards Fozzie.

“WOOLY BULLY… WOOLY BULLY…WOOLY BULLY!” they all sang from different places around the fence.

“Watch it now, watch it! Watch it!” shouted Gonzo as the bull started to charge towards Fozzie.

“Here it comes!” shouted Rizzo

“Instrumental!” shouted Fozzie, totally into the musical number at this point. Zoot and Janice were still playing in time to what was going on, even though they had no idea they were actually backing them up. Animal was even jamming on the drums at this point You could hear Zoot blowing loud, low notes on his sax while Animal was banging loud notes on the drums and Janice was rockin out hard on the guitar. The bull made a goat sound trying to distract the three intruders. Gonzo screamed as the bull began to charge Fozzie again. Then Rizzo screamed as Gonzo ran for Fozzie, who finally realized that the bull was charging him, so he started screaming too. Yep, a whole lot of screaming and an angry bull (not really any other way to say it)

Zoot started really jamming on his sax while everyone inside the fence was running away from the bull. Gonzo shouted “Hey!” when the bull’s horns came very, very close to his backside. Fozzie jumped after being startled by Gonzo and the bull stopped while Gonzo, Rizzo and Fozzie spread out around the fence, leaving the bull in the middle of the circular area and Gonzo, Fozzie and Rizzo all around him. Rizzo laughed as Gonzo almost got gored (the only one in the bunch that would enjoy getting gored).

“Scared me!” said Fozzie while trying to catch his breath.

“Right, Right, Right, Right” shouted Gonzo, trying to get everyone to run a circle to the right around the bull, trying to get him dizzy. Fozzie and Rizzo quickly got onto Gonzo’s plan and began running around the edge of the fence to the right. The bull started turning in the center of the circle, trying to keep track of them.

“Left, Left, Left, Left!” shouted Fozzie, directing them to go the other way. They all started running in the opposite direction. The bull started the turning the other way and got dizzy watching them run around the fence, which made him even more angry. He roared like a lion to try to scare them. Frank the bull was really good at animal impersonations, but no one ever really noticed because people were always running from him and just assumed the animal noises were coming from somewhere else, which didn’t do much to help lighten his not-so cheery disposition. (haha, you didn’t think I would explain the weird animal noises, did ya? Boo-yah!)

As the instrumental was ending and the bull was getting really dizzy, Rizzo climbed on top of the fence again and started dancing. “Uh-huh, Uh-huh!” said Rizzo while grooving to the music.

Here we go!” said Fozzie, noticing that the bull was regaining his balance. Gonzo called out “Wooly Bully!” just as they were getting cued to sing the last verse.

“Here goes!” shouted Rizzo, who just noticed that he could probably fit through the space between the horizontal wooden posts in the fence. He squeezed through and ran to the gate to open it from the outside.

“Matty told Hatty” sang Gonzo as he saw Rizzo escape and head for the gate. He shook his head and headed for the gate too. Rizzo was just scatting and dancing along while he opened the gate. “There’s a thing to do” sang Gonzo while motioning for Fozzie to head to gate so they could get out of there. Fozzie ran around the other side of the fenced-in area to meet Gonzo and Rizzo at the gate. Gonzo and Fozzie quickly ran out the gate and shut it tight behind them. They started moving around the outside of the fence to distract the bull so he wouldn’t run straight for the gate, but to a much more stable part of the fence. They spotted a part in the fence where the wood posts were jagged and sharp, probably from something gnawing on it. They all got the same look in their eye, like a light bulb turned on in all their heads at the same time.

“Get you someone really” harmonized Gonzo and Rizzo.

“To pull the wool with you” sang Gonzo, Rizzo, and Fozzie while making faces at the bull to get him to charge.

“WOOLY BULLY!.” They all sang. “WOOLY BULLY” Rizzo kept scatting while shaking his little (well maybe not so little) rat behind at the gate to anger the bull and to distract him from watching Fozzie and Gonzo grab some rope they found outside of the fence to tie the bull to the fence.

“WOOLY BULLY…WOOLY BULLY…WOOLY BULLY!” they all sang teasingly at the bull. Frank the Bull was furious and so sick and tired of hearing that same stupid song that he started to charge towards the bear, the rat, and whatever the other one was, in hopes he could break the fence down so he could get them to stop, and he would probably eat that rat too because it is NOT NICE to shake your fanny at someone!

“Watch it now, Watch it!” shouted Gonzo, afraid that their plan wouldn’t work and the bull would bust through the fence.

“Hey!” shouted Fozzie, backing up slightly but ready with the rope, with Rizzo holding the other end.

“Here it comes!” shouted Rizzo as the bull charged full-force into the fence. He ran right into the spot in the fence with all the jagged wood, which got caught in his wooly fur and got him stuck right in between the fence posts.

“Yeah!” shouted Fozzie.

“You got it!” shouted Gonzo to Fozzie trying to get him to throw the rope around the bull and tie him to the fence, but Fozzie accidentally threw the rope when the bull was charging because he got scared.

“ I got it!” said Rizzo running up to the bull, who was thrashing furiously to get un-stuck. Mid run Rizzo realized he wasn’t holding the rope anymore.

“You got it?” shouted Gonzo to Rizzo, wondering why the heck he was running up to the bull without the rope.

“Whose got it?” asked Rizzo, looking around for the rope.

“I don’t know!” shouted Gonzo frantically. Slowly the pull was pulling free of the fence and while breaking through the posts of the fence. Just before the bull broke free, leaving a lot of his wooly fur still stuck to the fence, Gonzo, Rizzo and Fozzie started to sprint away, screaming past Janice, Zoot and Animal who were finishing playing the song as they went. They played the final note, then saw one not-so-wooly-bully running past them after Gonzo, Fozzie and Rizzo (Ha!). Frank the Bull was so angry that he started making all kinds of random animal noises, finally roaring like an actual bull as he ran after them.

"You could fit through those wooden bars?" shouted Gonzo to Rizzo.

"Yeah", shouted Rizzo.

You are such an idtiot!" yelled Gonzo as they kept running.

"What?" said Rizzo as they kept running from the now not-so-fully-wooly bully!

“Like, what’s going on?” asked Janice.

“It’s ok, they’re squares man!” said Zoot.

“Oh!” Janice said as she walked along the beach with Zoot and Animal, who decided to go jam somewhere else. They totally did not want to be caught with squares.

 

[The Count]

Thanks, needed that after a cold rainy day down here. Will check back in with a couple little things laters.
More please!

 

[Muppetfan44]

Chapter 3- Under the Boardwalk

I'm on a roll! Here's Chapter 3-Under the Boardwalk. Enjoy!

Chapter 3- Under the Boardwalk
On the other side of the beach, Clifford and Kermit parted ways after some intense surfing. Kermit went to go find Miss Piggy and Clifford headed toward the boardwalk to see if he could find his own girl to spend some quality beach time with. The sun was blazing high in the sky, making both the sand and the boardwalk incredibly hot. He figured it would be easier for him to find a beach babe if he could find a cool, quiet place to relax, out of the sun’s scorching rays. As he was walking along the beach, he noticed three figures sprinting along the shoreline, being chased by a very large, very angry bull. At the head of the group Clifford could point out a very-familiar blue-nosed weirdo. Clifford wasn’t with the Muppets for long, but he was with them long enough to know that mayhem (not the electric kind, but a very more dangerous and painful kind) usually followed Gonzo wherever he went, or in this case, chased after him. He also identified the other two sorry saps as Rizzo and Fozzie who somehow must have got caught up in Gonzo’s chaos. He started to head towards them to see if he could help, but spotted the boardwalk and all the bathing beauties walking on it, and changed his mind. I’m sure they can take of it, though Clifford as he headed towards the boardwalk.

Clifford noticed that there were definitely many cute girls walking the boardwalk today, all scantily clad in bikinis and trying to find refuge from the blazing sun. No wonder Boardwalk costs so much in Monopoly, though Clifford. He became much more dedicated to find a cool, shady place he could attract a girl to.

Clifford started walking under the boardwalk to get to the other side of the beach. While underneath, Clifford noted his surroundings: the shade from the boardwalk above was very nice, and the breeze from the waves and the wind blowing under the boardwalk was very refreshing. This is perfect, thought Clifford, both because of the coolness and for its proximity to the bathing beauties above. Clifford walked underneath the boardwalk to a nice, dry patch of sand next to one of the middle support-beams of the boardwalk, but unfortunately he was not the only one there. A bunch of rats had gathered and gazed hungrily above to the floor of the boardwalk.

“Under the Boardwalk….Under the Boardwalk” sang the rats as they licked their lips.

“Under the Boardwalk..boardwalk!” the rats sang again as a piece of a corn dog fell through the boardwalk. The rats laughed and cheered as they divided the small bit of food amongst themselves.

“Hey wait a second! You’re a bunch of rats, what are doing down here?” asked Clifford.

“Oh we’re surf rats” said one of the many rats gathered.

“We live here!” said a different surf rat, with an unusual Brooklyn-like accent.

“Yeah, we eat the food that falls through the cracks!” said another rat while music started to play from above the boardwalk. The Electric Mayhem on the boardwalk to jam for all the tourists to see if they could collect enough tips for some lunch. And once again, they started play the exact same song (they heard the rats singing it and decided it would be a great tune to play for all the beach bums out there. (what an innate sense of timing they had…thought the writer with a smile)

“Well go on, get out of here, I’ll be bringing my baby down here!” said Clifford. The fact that he hadn’t procured this certain baby was of no importance, thought Clifford, and none of their business!

“Oooh!” said a bunch of the rats. “Excuuuuse us, heh heh!” chuckled one of the rats.

“Oh when the sun goes down and burns the tar up on the roof…”sang Clifford. The lyrics reminded him of another famous song by the Drifters, “Up on the roof”. He liked that song too and hoped he had the chance to sing it someday. (wink wink)

“and your shoes get so hot, you wish your tired feet were fireproof..”

“Under the boardwalk…Down by the sea…yeah…on a blanket with my baby, that’s where I’ll be” sang Clifford while the rats provided some very nice back-up.

They’re pretty good, for rats anyway, thought Clifford. (man this is just way too easy…hehe)

“Under the boardwalk” sang the rats

“Out of the sun” Clifford sang soulfully​

“Under the boardwalk” the rats repeated

“We’ll be having some fun”​

“Under the boardwalk” sang the rats as they all lined up and started to sway back and forth to the music.

“People walking above” sang Clifford as he motioned to the sound of footsteps above them​

“Under the boardwalk” sang the rats while watching to see if food dropped down from above.

“We’ll be falling in love” sang Clifford, thinking it was best to sing the less-racier version of the lyrics.​

“Under the boardwalk…boardwalk!” sang Clifford and the surf rats together.

“From the park you hear the happy sound of a carousel” sang Clifford as the light sound of carousel music blew in from the nearby amusement park further in from the beach. “Yeah” said Clifford in his best low-sounding, mellow, Barry White tone. The rats were smoothly oohing and aahing for backup.

“And you can almost taste the hot dogs and French fries they sell….Under the boardwalk…down by the sea..eee- yeah! “ sang Clifford as the rats oohed and aahed like a heavenly choir…dreaming of all of those hot dogs and French fries!

“On a blanket with my baby, that’s where I’ll be” sang Clifford while leaning against one the support posts of the boardwalk, ready to sing another chorus.

“Under the Boardwalk” sang the rats while making wave motions with their hands and doing the hula!

“Out of the sun” sang Clifford​

“Under the Boardwalk” sang the rats while hula-ing in the other direction

“We’ll be having some fun” sang Clifford, hoping his soulful singing will attract one of the ladies from above.​

“Under the Boardwalk” sang the rats.

“People walking above” sang Clifford, hoping one of the pretty girls would start walking below the boardwalk and join him.​

“Under the Boardwalk” sang the rats with their hula dance down pat

“We’ll be falling in love”​

“Under the Boardwalk…boardwalk!” sang Clifford and the rats together to finish the second chorus right before the instrumental break.

The rats laughed as they foraged for food during the instrumental. “Ha Ha Ha! Ah I love this boardwalk! Hey, what is that…cotton candy over there?” asked one of the rats as he went to go see.

“Nah, looks like hair to me” said another rat as he picked it up and looked at it. Cotton Candy was usually pink or blue and this ball of whatever he picked up was definitely blonde and not sugary. All the other rats started to laugh.

“Oh” said the other rat as he picked up something else. “What is this..uh..a hot dog over here?” he asked as he picked up the long brown thing and took a bite out of it.

“Yow! That’s my tail!” shouted the other rat. All the other rats busted out laughing.

“Oh sorry.” said the rat who bit into his friend’s tail. If they are all surf rats, why do they all have New York accents, thought Clifford. Oh well, best not to dwell on it and continue with the song.

“Under the boardwalk…down by the sea..yeah…on a blanket with my baby, that’s where I’ll be” sang Clifford, effectively ending the instrumental and stopping the rats from eating each other and focus on their back-up singing again.

“Under the boardwalk”

"Out of the sun”​

“Under the boardwalk”

"We’ll be having some fun”​

"Under the boardwalk”

“People walkin’ above”​

“Under the boardwalk”

"We’ll be fallin’ in love”​

“Under the boardwalk…boardwalk!” sang Clifford and the rats one last time, ending the song. The rats all laughed and chuckled while the rat who got his tail bit tried to get the kink out of it left by his friend’s bite marks.

“Hey, I thought I told you rats to get outta here!” said Clifford in a very tough-guy way while he pointed to the ocean.

The rats got the message loud and clear. “Oh, hey look! Surf’s up” shouted one of the rats as they all grabbed their boards and headed for the waves. “Oh yeah, let’s go” shouted another rat as he noticed the stink eye Clifford was giving all of them. “Can I borrow your wax?” asked the rat with the now-kinked-tail to the rat who bit him as he was already taking the wax from him.

Now that the rats were taken care of, it was time for Clifford to go find a honey top side to share this nice, romanitc place with.

 

[The Count]

Up on the roof?
Just once I'd like someone to come up here and sing "Born ToBe Wild"!

Very enjoyable chapter. You have a nack for spinning events from the specific occurance of the album into a stringed narrative. Would caution you check your spelling in a few instances, but still a good story that fills the FanFic section with a bit of pleasant silly sunshine.
Thanks... More please! ! !