Err A-Parent

[Katzi428]

Heehee. Although it's hard on the ol' froggie blood pressure,it's funny to see Kermit getting really mad! Robin's so cute with his little girl friends. (Quite the ladies' man!) Sounds like Piggy's got some plans of her own instead of just hanging around the kitchen.

 

[Scooterfan5]

Great update!

 

[Ruahnna]

Chapter 6

Kermit had never insisted on first class. In fact, one of the joys of being a frog was that chairs and beds and tubs and things were rarely snug, so first class was not something that he insisted on. You got quicker food, yes, if you could call it food, but it wasn’t any better than what they served in the back of the plane. But they had insisted and here he sat. And still no candied gnats.
He did not know where his phone was, but since there had been nothing left in the hotel room, or the cab, he assumed it was somewhere in his carry-on. He had tried calling it from a pay phone in the lobby, but chances were good that it was turned off (or run down) and that’s why he didn’t hear it. Kermit stopped a leggy stewardess going by and asked for the time. She told him and he did some calculations in his head. Unless something else happened, he should be home in time for supper—perhaps a late supper. The thought of food from his own kitchen was comforting, and Kermit smiled wanly.
His seatmate to the left was a middle-aged man with his nose buried in a best-seller. Kermit envied him his happy snoring. On his right was a young boy, about ten, who was obviously traveling with his mother who was in the seat in front of him. The boy had his eyes glued to some sort of hand-held game, and the mother kept turning around to give Kermit a suspicious look. He did his best to look inoffensive.
Something exciting must have happened in the game, because the little boy said “Yes!!” and made a fist pump. Kermit looked politely interested in case the boy wanted to share his victorious moment, but the boys immediately clutched the game again with both hands and continued pressing buttons. Internally, Kermit shrugged. Video games seemed to be a necessary evil nowadays.
He liked kids. He loved interacting with kids. Although he had never had his own biological kids, he had played uncle to all of his siblings’ kids, and been a sort of surrogate parent to several others. Scooter, for example. Scooter had had family, but over time Kermit had seemed to fall naturally into the role of father figure, and he’d certainly been proud of the young man he’d turned out to be. And Robin, who had been the one out of all of his siblings’ children to embrace Kermit as a permanent sort of guardian, well—he couldn’t be prouder of the young frog Robin had turned into if he had been his own little hatchling. Kermit sighed. He supposed he had once assumed that he and Piggy would have a house full of kids, but that seemed destined never to be.
Oh well, thought Kermit. A house full kids was a nice idea, but a house full of just him and Piggy and Robin—that was great, too. He could hardly wait….

After approving Piggy’s transformation from June Cleaver to ultra-cool parental unit, the girls had been invited into Piggy’s bedroom to change. While wildly impressed by Piggy’s closet, neither girl had been awed. Both of them put on their bathing suits—Keri’s rather athletic and Nancy’s rather modest—and slipped on sundresses over the top. Keri was delighted with Piggy’s help with a quick, tousled up-do, but Nancy merely slipped on a pretty plastic headband that settled just in front of her horns, securing her hair in a practical way. They emerged, somewhat shyly, from Piggy and Kermit’s room to find Robin waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. He wore his favorite faded jeans and a Zombie Revolution t-shirt, and there was about an inch of his dark blue swim trunks showing above the waistband.
Everybody smiled and blushed a little and Piggy bit her tongue to keep from looking amused. They did not get embarrassed running up and down the field, sweating and crashing into each other, slipping, falling, yelling—but put them in party clothes and suddenly they were shy? She got out of the way by hiding in the kitchen for a moment.
The doorbell rang and Robin answered the door. “Mr. The Frog?” the man in a neat white coat asked.
“You’re looking for my Uncle,” said Robin politely. “Actually, I guess you’re looking for my Aunt, Mrs. The Frog.”
“I am,” the man said, then smiled broadly when he saw Piggy emerge from the dining room. “Hello, Mrs. The Frog. It was great to get your call. Where do you want the edibles?”
That occupied Piggy for the better part of a half-hour, and Robin and his friends wandered out to the pool which glittered and glimmered in the waning sun.
“So, Kermit and Miss Piggy are your Aunt and Uncle, but you grew up in a swamp, right?” asked Keri. Nancy smiled at Robin. She knew all of this.
“Sortof,” said Robin. He rolled his jeans up to the knee and sat on the edge of the pool, dangling his flippers in the water. “Frogs usually have big families,” he said, “so I have lots of family back home, but Uncle Kermit and I just sortof—“ He shrugged, grinning. “—bonded. I started coming for visits as soon as I lost my, um, tail.” Robin blushed, suddenly realizing he was veering into more biology than he wanted to get into with two young ladies. Charmed, Nancy sat beside him on the edge of the pool, carefully hitching the hem of her dress away from the water. It just so happened that, since she sat between him and one of the ladders instead of on his other side, that they were forced to sit rather close, and when Robin turned to look at her, her bright eyes were not six inches from his own.
“So…you and your Uncle were close,” Nancy said.
Robin swallowed. “Very close,” he said.
Suddenly, there was a noise like a plane trying to land in their back yard, and Robin startled and looked away.
“What is that noise?” Keri asked, covering her ears.
But Robin jumped to his feet, grinning broadly. “Mayhem,” he said. “Complete and total mayhem!”

Kermit must have dozed, but luckily the turbulence woke him. That kept the stewardess from waking him when she went calmly but loudly down the aisle reiterating that they should put up trays, stow loose objects, remember to respond calmly and quickly if the air pressure in the cabin dropped too low and the oxygen masks dropped.
“That would be neat,” the boy next to Kermit said. Kermit sat up from his slump wearily.
“You think so?” Kermit asked, but mildly. The mother in front of him turned around and gave him another suspicious look.
“Yeah,” the little boy said. “My character in my zombie game wears an oxygen mask—it’s cool.”
It was hard to know what to say to that, so Kermit said nothing. He felt stiff and sluggish and dry, and he tried to stretch in the seat to ease his cramped neck muscles. The man next to him appeared to be doing the same, looking around sheepishly. He shot his cuff and looked at his watch, which allowed Kermit to glimpse the time.
The time seemed off, and Kermit tried to think why, only belatedly realizing that he’d failed to factor in the time change. If Scooter had been there, he’d have reminded Kermit. If Kermit had not lost his phone in his bulging briefcase, the phone would have automatically reset itself to the proper time. Kermit realized two things almost simultaneously—it was not as late and he’d thought, and he had more hours to go before falling face-first into bed. The two thoughts roughly canceled each other out, the good and bad mingling into what there was.
Home, Kermit thought. I just want to be home.


Robin unlocked the latch and threw the gates wide open. In walked The Electric Mayhem in all their glittery glory.
“Felicitations,” said Dr. Teeth, his trademark gold tooth flashing bright in the slanting rays of the sun. He and Robin engaged in some sort of complex handshake that ended when the good doctor hauled Robin against his barrel chest and gave him an unexpected noogie.
“Dr. Teeth!” Robin howled, but he was laughing. “Hey—stop. Hey—I can’t believe Aunt Piggy called you!”
“Hey—me neither, nephew of the Bossman,” grinned Dr. Teeth. “She said it was some sort of school soiree, only cooler.”
Behind him, Floyd Pepper rambled with one arm around Janice and a firm grip on Animal’s chain. Zoot wandered in and buried his nose in a fragrant bunch of bougainvillea.
Nancy’s eyes were wide, but Keri seemed to have stopped breathing.
“Oh. My. Gosh,” she said. “It’s—it’s them!” She let out a high-pitched shriek that she had the presence of mind to shut off almost at once by clamping her hand over her mouth. She grabbed on to Nancy’s arm and jumped up and down. “Omigosh! Oh! My! Gosh! “
“I know,” said Nancy, a little dazed.
“Hey there, tall, green and happenin’,” rasped Floyd Pepper. Janice leaned in and gave Robin a smooch on his smooth cheek. Robin might have had an inch or two on her now, if she hadn’t been in some spanking new clogs.
“Hey Floyd. Hi Janice.” Years ago, Robin had been absolved from calling them Mr. Floyd and Ms. Janice—even Kermit couldn’t see insisting. Animal strained at his leash, eliciting a little yeep of fright from Keri, but then sniffed Robin’s clean frog scent and relaxed.
“Rah. Bin,” said Animal, his eyebrows signaling his mellowing mood.
“Um, we’ve got Scooby Snacks in the kitchen,” said Robin. “What kind does he like?”
“You got chipotle?”
“Sure.” Robin waved at Zoot, who was staring, transfixed, at the glittering pool. “Hey, Zoot!”
Zoot waved vaguely.
Robin was walking toward the house, facing backward to talk to Dr. Teeth. “The outlets and power cords are all over there in the side of the pool house,” Robin said. “Hey—where’s Lips—he’s coming, right?”
“Aw, he’s coming,” said Floyd. “Something about picking up his dry-cleaning.”
When Robin walked past the girls, they grabbed his arms so hard he yelped.
“Hey! Ouch—I was going to use that arm,” he said, giving Keri a look.
It took the girls about 4.5 seconds to drag Robin bodily into the house and start squealing at him in high-pitched girl-speak. Robin looked momentarily panicked, but Piggy was nearby to interpret.
“They’re excited about the band,” said Piggy. “Right, ladies?”
Again, they bombarded Robin with sound and he back up from it, hands in front of him as though to calm them.
“Hey—it’s cool. It’s just the Mayhem—you, you wanna come say ‘hi’?
It took them even less time to drag him back outside.

 

[Katzi428]

I'm lovin' it! Have to admit though, I kind of gagged at the mention of "candied gnats" .But then I realized I had to think in the "frog" mode. (Still,in a segment on SS long time ago w/Kermit & Bob Kermit said that he eats the same things as humans :"Fried chicken & pizza... etc." Kermit IS a frog though.So I guess insects are food to him.)

 

[Ruahnna]

Okay--I have to come clean here. Kermit's phone is in his carry-on. He does NOT have it in his hand to look for the confirmation number that Scooter put into his phone. I guess he wrote the confirmation number down on an, um, envelope or something--I don't know what to tell you.... (embarrassed silence) Posting more later. (slinks away)

 

[The Count]

Is okay... We forgive this small flaw. , cause I don't know what other Muppet smilie to use for "hug".

 

[Ruahnna]

Chapter 7

Amazingly, Keri was still upright when the introductions were completed. To their complete enchantment, Dr. Teeth had produced photos of the band and promised to sign them if a writing implement could be secured.
“We had a box of Sharpies,” he said sadly, “But Animal ate them on the way over.”
The girls looked, wide-eyed, at the drummer, who panted a little and strained toward them on his leash.
“We’ll, um, find you a marker,” said Nancy, and dragged Keri quickly away toward the house.
Robin looked around carefully to make sure the girls had gone and he was not overheard. “Hey, um, Janice,” said Robin earnestly. “If any of the guys ask, would you…” He hesitated, looking up, and the likeness to his Uncle was very pronounced. “Would you tell them you used to babysit me?”
Janice’s tinkling laugh made Robin blush even as she leaned forward and pressed a fond kiss on his forehead. “Like, totally,” she said. “And I’ll tell them I used to give you guitar lessons—how’s that?”
“Oh, gosh! That’s—that’s—thank you, Janice—thanks so much!”
She pulled back and gave him her lazy, amazing smile. “So, what do you want me to tell your little nanny goat friend?”
Robin groaned and laughed at the same time. Growing up in this group there was no such thing as privacy. “That I’m wonderful?” he said hopefully.
Janice laughed again, her long blonde hair floating over her shoulders. “Robin, I’m, like, pretty sure she already knows!”

“That’s weird,” said Scooter. “I’ve been calling and calling Kermit to see how his flight was and he hasn’t answered all day.” He looked over at Sara worriedly. “I hope his flight didn’t get delayed or anything.”
Sara sat up in bed slowly, trying not to jostle. “Why don’t you call the house? Maybe he’s in the pool or soaking in the tub, poor thing.” Sara had already smothered Scooter with sympathy and kisses when he came home—she still had a little leftover sympathy for Kermit, who had taken the later flight home.
“Well, I could, but I might bother him,” Scooter said. Normally, he would not have worried about bothering Kermit at home, but he and Kermit has seen rather a lot of each other in the past several days, and Scooter felt like a little downtime would make them happier to see each other at work on Monday.
Sara grinned at him. “Then why don’t you come up here and bother us,” she said. Scooter put down the phone and scooted back against the headboard. He reached for Sara’s hand and held it to his lips for a moment, then let her take it and hold against the smooth swell of her tummy.
“Can you feel her?” said Sara. “Right there—she just kicked.”
“I felt it,” said Scooter, mesmerized with wonder. He leaned over and kissed his very pregnant wife. “But what makes you think it’s a her,” he asked. “It could be a him.”
“It could be,” Sara sighed. ‘We won’t know until the ultrasound next week.” She laughed, patting Scooter’s warm hand. “I’m as big as a house,” she said. “For all I know, it could be twins.”

The caterers had everything well in hand. The entire first floor of the house had been festooned with crepe paper, streamers and balloons, the stairway to the bedrooms upstairs roped off by streamers. The fancy little soaps and hand towels were out in the two downstairs bathrooms. The food was out, the band was tuned and the kids from soccer camp were arriving in a pretty steady stream.
“Um, Aunt Piggy,” said Robin worriedly. “Some of the kids from camp are bringing dates—is that, you know, is that okay?”
Beside him, Keri looked worried. “We didn’t say they couldn’t….”
“It was just supposed to be in the school gym,” said Nancy. “I didn’t even think about people bringing dates.”
Piggy waved their concerns away. “We have enough food here to feed an army,” she said. “A few extra people won’t make any difference.” She pushed Robin toward the patio. “Go out and circulate amongst your guests. A good host is always accessible.” She patted the girls lightly as they passed. “Ladies—try to keep him out of trouble, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Yes, Mrs. The Frog.”

“What do you mean, there’s nothing in the overhead compartment?” Kermit asked. He stood up on the seat to look himself.
“Sir, you can’t stand up there,” said the stewardess primly.
“Then you’re really not going to like this,” said Kermit. He pushed hard with his hind legs and secured the overhead container, looking up one side and down the other. There was nothing there—nothing at all. The stewardess clucked helplessly and watched him climb down.
“Someone else probably grabbed your briefcase by mistake,” she said soothingly. “We can check the lost and found at our ticket desk.”
“But—but it has my phone in it,” Kermit said. “And all my notes and…what am I supposed to do now?”
“We could go see them as the ticket desk,” she said brightly.
Kermit knew when the buck—or the frog—was being passed. He gritted his hard palate and stomped off the plane. If he lost this phone, Piggy was going to kill him. He felt like growling, but sighed instead. At least he was on the ground and in the same city as his life.
Now—if he could just get to it!

The doorbell had not ceased to ring, so Piggy had gone out to the front porch and Robin had opened up the wrought-iron gate so that it was not necessary to traipse through the house unless one wanted to. He walked around to the front, where two carloads of boys had just parked with more energy than skill.
Piggy’s eyes were glued to the curb. “Robin,” said Piggy quietly, but there was that obey-me-or-rue-it quality to her voice that made Robin step over smartly to answer her. “How many kids were at soccer camp?”
Robin looked at the nine boys who piled out of the cars with something like consternation. “What the hey?” he said, sounding so much like Kermit that Piggy almost smiled.
“We only had, oh—Aunt Piggy—those guys aren’t from the soccer team. They play football. They’re from my school….” He trailed off.
“Friends of yours?” she asked, not entirely sure.
“Oh yeah,” said Robin at once. “We’re cool. I just…I just don’t know what they’re doing here.”
At that precise moment, a jeep full of girls giggled into the lane, depositing a dazzling arrange of femininity on the curb.
“Ulp,” Robin gulped. “Those girls are…I think that’s the debate team,” Robin said, looking dazed.
Piggy was surprised. They did not look like the debate team at her old school. She looked at Robin’s shocked expression just as Nancy joined them. She voiced what Piggy was thinking.
“Robin, where are all these kids coming from? How did they find out about the party?”
“I…I dunno,” Robin said, his normally smooth brow furrowed. “I don’t—“ His eyes widened and he turned to Piggy suddenly, gripping her arm in alarm. “Aunt Piggy—I—I did not invite anyone but the soccer team. Honest! This was just supposed to be, you know, the kids from camp and maybe a few dates. I—“ He looked at her anxiously, desperate to be believed. Piggy found she did believe him, but that did not solve the immediate problem.
The boys had reached the door, or rather the sidewalk in front of it and paused. Piggy looked at them mildly, but her blue eyes were flashing, and one of the boys—a tow-headed fellow with a pierced eyebrow—quickly took off his baseball cap in her presence. Piggy smiled at them—a dazzling, scary smile.
“Hello,” she said. “Can Moi help you?”
There was some intense unspoken communication from inside the group and then one of the young men stepped—or was pushed—forward.
“Um, hi, Mrs. The Frog. I’m Alvin and I go to school with Robin. Hey Robin. Hey Nancy.“ Robin and Nancy waved weakly. “Um, we heard…I mean….”
“Do I take it you were hoping to gatecrash the soccer camp party?” Piggy asked.
Another round of subliminal communication, but Alvin took a deep breath and faced the music—and Piggy. “Yes Ma’am,” he said earnestly. “I mean, we don’t want to cause trouble or nothing—or anything. We just…um…heard about the party…and the Electric Mayhem and all.”
Piggy crossed her arms across her chest and looked at them shrewdly. “Do you parents know where you are?”
“Not—not yet. We were going to see a movie, but….”
“Call them,” Piggy said shortly. “Tell them where you are.” She stood back and motioned them toward the door. “All of you—come in, wipe your feet and call your parents. Tell them where you are.”
The silent communication was no longer silent.
“Yes ma’am.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“Right away, ma’am.”
“Thank you, Mrs. The Frog,” said Alvin. “I’ll call my Mom right now. I—you sure are—I like your movies!” he blurted, and blushed furiously.
“Glad to hear it,” Piggy said, and smiled. She started to bat her eyelashes, but she remembered what Robin had said and toned it down.
The boys filed past Piggy, trading fist bumps or complicated hand-shakes with Robin and shy smiles with Nancy. The last young man who shuffled past had at least six inches of plaid underwear showing above the top of his jeans.
“Hitch your trou, please,” Piggy demanded, and he did so before following his friends through the door.
When they had all cleared the door, Robin turned to Piggy and grinned at her.
“You’re the best, Aunt Piggy,” he said warmly, then turned and followed his friends inside.
“Everyone says so,” Piggy murmured to herself. “So it must be true.” She turned back to face the onslaught of girls, reaching for her phone. She was going to need reinforcements.

 

[Ruahnna]

I SWEAR I'm going to fire my, um, editor. The sentence that says:
Piggy looked at them mildly, but her blue eyes were flashing, and one of the boys—a two-headed fellow with a pierced eyebrow—quickly took off his baseball cap in her presence.
SHOULD say:
Piggy looked at them mildly, but her blue eyes were flashing, and one of the boys—a tow-headed fellow with a pierced eyebrow—quickly took off his baseball cap in her presence.

TOW-headed is literally "flaxen haired"; A person with very light (almost white) blond hair, "tow" being flax or hemp fibers.

TWO-headed, well, is like our friend from Sesame Street. Sheesh!

Ru: It is sad, very sad, when your typos are funnier than your posts....
Fozzie Bear: Tell me about it!

 

[Katzi428]

Oh gosh. Sounds like trouble all around. Between Kermit losing his cellphone & some unexpected guests coming to Robin's party, doesn't seem too good. Piggy's good about it though. I would have been tearing my hair out! I hope those kids aren't "using" Robin just to see The Electric Mayhem. (BTW, don't worry about the typo error. It happens to ALL good writers!)

 

[The Count]

Erm, yes... *Hopes not to be fired. Do you want that changed?

BTW: The last chapter... It reminds me of parties in the past held here at our home where my sibs closed off the neighborhood/suburb entrances allowing for a full-blown blow-out amongst "friends" and assorted "acquaintances" thanks to spreading the invite via word of mouth. You're rully hitting a lot of good notes with this story.
Post more when possible please.