Thank you all for waiting patiently for this next chapter! When I found out today's the 40th anniversary of
The Muppet Movie, I knew I had to get Chapter Two posted today! And here it is!
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Miss Piggy couldn’t have been more thrilled with her job than she was today. Being a television news reporter had its merits, one of which was having access to a Wakandan air transport, en route to Wakanda itself. And she wasn’t going alone. Along with her were her assistant, Pepe the King Prawn, and their camera crew: boom operator Animal and cameraman Beauregard, their dim but lovable janitor friend from the Muppet Theatre. This special trip was arranged for Miss Piggy’s interview with T’Challa, monarch of the African nation, known better as “Black Panther.”
Aboard the transport (made of pure vibranium and running on energy unlike any on Earth), they sat across from two women, a tall, busty redhead and a short, dark-haired Sicilian-American, both dressed-to-impress for their own meeting with T’Challa. Pepe eavesdropped on their conversation, which consisted of the busty redhead showing a bit of discomfort in the black gown she wore.
“How do women wear these things without letting their goods slip out?” she griped.
“If it makes you that uncomfortable, why are you wearing it?” her Sicilian-American friend inquired.
The busty redhead repeatedly readjusted herself, trying and failing to conceal her cleavage. “Because I have to look respectable in the presence of King T’Challa…that’s what Elle told me.”
“I think she might’ve been toolin’ around with you, hon,” the Sicilian-American woman snickered. “I mean, look at me. I’m
nowhere near as dolled up as you. I look like I’m ready to go to a punk rock concert.”
The busty redhead sighed, not at all amused. “Remind me to kill Elle when we get back home.”
“At least it’s not as uncomfortable as Hank’s stability suit.”
“Yeah, that nanotech in my bloodstream has really been keeping my molecules together these last couple of years. Makes using my powers a whole lot safer, too.”
At this point, Pepe just had to interject himself into the exchange. “Jou have superpowers?! Tell me more, h’okay!”
“S-She was just kidding,” the Sicilian-American woman covered. “She
doesn’t have any superpowers…that’d be silly.”
“But I heard jou,” Pepe pressed. “Jou said something about jour ‘powers’.”
“No, she didn’t.”
“Jes, she did, h’okay!”
“No, she
didn’t!”
This back-and-forth between them lasted for nearly a minute before Animal broke it up by screaming, “QUIET!!!!” Just about everyone in the transport fell silent following the outburst. Piggy could only sink in her seat with embarrassment.
Thankfully, they landed not a moment later and were greeted by T’Challa himself.
“Welcome to Wakanda,” he said. “Follow me inside. I assume there is much that we must discuss.” He led them inside the citadel and through the majestic halls. “Today has certainly had its fill of visitors. Earlier, I received a visit from an English gentleman in a pin-striped suit and light brown overcoat, claiming to be a doctor.”
His description sounded familiar to Piggy and her crew.
“Of course, the strangest part is who he brought with him,” T’Challa continued. “The Avenger android called ‘Vision’ and Wanda Maximoff, both – as you know – are currently fugitives from the government.”
“Wait a sec,” the Sicilian-American woman uttered in a sense of urgency. “Wanda and Vision are here?!”
“Yes, Agent Livingston,” T’Challa addressed her, prompting Pepe to wonder what kind of agent she was, dressed like a punk rock star. “As it would seem, this ‘doctor’ discovered that Vision had been harboring what he calls an ‘Infinity Stone’. They arrived in quite an unusual vessel: a big blue box marked ‘police’ on it.”
This additional piece of information drove Piggy and her friends to sheer jubilation. “That’s him! That’s him! That’s him!” she repeatedly cheered.
“You know this visitor of ours?” T’Challa asked her.
“Yes, yes,” Piggy confirmed. “He goes by ‘The Doctor’ and that big blue box is his TARDIS.”
Her knowledge amused T’Challa. “Well, they’re both waiting in my throne room.”
“Yippee!” Piggy rushed ahead of the group to charge through the throne room doors. Sure enough, the man who T’Challa described to a tee (or, as far as Piggy’s concerned, a
ten) was standing in his throne room. “Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!” She jubilantly chanted as she ran to the Time Lord and clung herself to his waist.
The Doctor was delighted (albeit surprised) when the Muppet diva rushed to him. “Miss Piggy?” he said in that cultured cockney accent that Piggy adored, flecked with hints of Scots. “What’re
you doing in Wakanda?”
“I’m a TV reporter now,” Piggy told him. “I’m doing an exclusive with King T’Challa.”
“Is that so?” The Doctor beamed. “I always knew you were meant for greatness.”
“What’s that dusty old British police box doin’ there?” Agent Livingston questioned, gesturing to the object of interest as it stood behind T’Challa’s throne.
“Oi!” the offended Doctor exclaimed. “That’s not just a dusty old British police box! It’s my ship!”
The busty redhead scoffed. “
That’s a ship?”
“Have a look inside it, if you want,” the Doctor invited, giving a haughty wink to Miss Piggy, who stifled a chuckle.
The two women accepted his invitation, walking through the opened doors of the police box and into a much bigger space within. Housed inside was a large, circular area supported by six coral pillars arranged in a hexagonal pattern upon a platform of the same make. By its organic design, it seemed alien to the two women.
“You gotta be kiddin’ me,” the redhead gasped.
“That’s what
I said when I saw it,” spoke a voice inside the room, which they saw to be Wanda Maximoff. She was there with a gravely wounded Vision, who leaned against one of the coral pillars just to keep himself on his feet.
“Hello, Agent Livingston and Agent X,” he still had enough strength to give a friendly greeting.
“Vision!” the redhead (Agent X) cried. “What happened to you?”
“We were attacked by two aliens in Scotland,” Wanda elucidated. “We’ve been hiding there since the Avengers disbanded. That man – the Doctor – found us in this unusual box of his and got us out before it could get worse.”
“How did he find you?” Agent Livingston asked.
“With his alien tool,” Wanda said. “He called it a…sonic wrench?”
“Screwdriver,” uttered the Doctor, who appeared in his ship with the Muppets. “I’ve spent enough time in this universe to learn some of its secrets, including Thanos and his obsession with the Infinity Stones.”
“Who’s Thanos?” Agent Livingston asked.
“A mad Titan bent on hunting all six of the stones,” the Doctor divulged. “He’ll undoubtedly come for Vision, and when he does, he’ll tear that stone from his head and kill him.”
“Jeesh!” Pepe quivered. “Jou don’t sugarcoat
anything, do jou?”
“What does this Thanos look like?” Agent X asked the Doctor.
“Ohhh, he’s quite the big fella,” he described. “Purple skin with a golden gauntlet to keep each stone he comes into possession of.” He then noticed the greatly disturbed look on Agent X’s face. “Why? Have you seen him?”
X nodded with a nervous gulp. “I’ve been having visions of him…I think.”
“Ha! I knew it!” Pepe blurted. “I knew she had superpowers! I told jou! I told jou all! She has…” He was suddenly silenced by Piggy with a karate chop to the gut.
With Pepe muzzled, Agent Livingston proceeded to ask Agent X, “What did these visions of this ‘Thanos’ tell you?”
“Only that we’re gonna need an army to take him on,” X replied.
“You won’t need an army,” the Doctor proclaimed. “You have me.”
Agent Livingston shot him a cold look. “Well,
that’s a high-and-mighty response if I ever heard one! We don’t even know who
you are, dude!”
The conversation came to an abrupt end with the emergence of T’Challa.
“My apologies for the interruption, but I just received word that Captain Rogers is on his way with Miss Romanoff and Mister Wilson,” he announced.
“Mister Wilson? Dennis the Menace’s neighbor?” Beauregard reacted with genuine surprise. “He’s comin’, too?”
“He means the Falcon, you dope!” Piggy criticized her cameraman.
“Doctor Banner and Colonel Rhodes will be with them,” T’Challa added.
“They have undoubtedly discovered our absence in Scotland,” Vision deduced. “They
will have questions
and concerns.”
“We’ll settle all of that once they’re here,” Agent Livingston asserted. She then momentarily turned to the Doctor and told him, “The right man for the job is here. So you and your freaky box can go back to whatever you came from, Doctor Whoever-You-Are.” She departed from the TARDIS with Agent X and T’Challa thereafter.
Piggy was not at all pleased with the agent’s departing words, making a threatening advancement towards her as she exited. “Why I oughta…,” she grumbled.
Thankfully, the Doctor held her back before she did something she would regret.
“Let her go,” he advised. “We’ll just take matters into our own hands.”
“What do you mean?” Wanda asked him.
“What I mean is that
we’re taking Vision and the stone away from here,” the Doctor proposed. “Preferably, another time and place.”
His bold proposal made Piggy ooze with excitement.
“Beauregard, get that camera rollin’,” she aggressively ordered. “And
don’t forget to take the lens cap off this time!”
TO BE CONTINUED...
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