Bump Wake Up
A sudden bump in the road shook the whole bus and awakened its sleeping occupants. Startled, they each sat up, looked around, shifted a bit before resettling.
Dr. Teeth glanced back at them over his shoulder. "Sorry folks," he said.
Rowlf looked out the various windows of the bus and saw seemingly endless desert.
"Nothing around, huh?" he said to Dr. Teeth.
"Nope. Looks like we're driving through the night this time."
Rowlf nodded. It was his turn to drive next.
Floyd hadn't realized he had fallen asleep until the bump woke him. He looked at the nothingness out his window. What had he been thinking about? Oh yeah. Now where had he left off? The last thing he remembered remembering, they were getting ready to go...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They had tried to keep packing to a minimum. They didn't know how long they would be on the road for, and they wanted to travel light.
It was a difficult concept for Miss Piggy to grasp. She had to pack and repack several times before getting her load down to three large suitcases. Then Kermit came into her room to see how she was doing.
"You're bringing all this?" he asked.
She sighed, and glanced at the piles of things she had already decided not to bring before returning her gaze to the open suitcases on her bed. "Is it still too much, Kermie?"
He came and stood next to her at the foot of the bed.
"Piggy, when we stop for the night, we're going to want to get into where ever we're staying pretty quick. So we're all carrying our own things, and unless you want to make two trips..."
"Alright, alright. I'll pack less." She started taking things out of one of the suitcases. "Kermie, I don't even know how much to pack for."
He took a hanger and started replacing the piles of clothes to the closet. "I would say about a week. We'll stop at a laundromat and clean our clothes if we need more than that."
Piggy turned to him in disgust. "A
laundromat?" She returned to unpacking. "Great. Now I can't bring anything that needs dry cleaning. That's most of my wardrobe right there!"
Kermit teased her. "See, you're cutting down already."
She made a face. "Well it's easy for you, Kermie. You don't
wear clothes!" She closed the now empty suitcase and turned to look at her frog.
He was standing by the closet, putting a flowered dress on a hanger. But his mind was clearly elsewhere, as he seemed to be struggling with this simple task. His head was down with a vacant look in his eyes, and his whole composure was reminiscent of a young boy on his first day in a new school.
It was hard to walk away from it all so indefinately, especially when they were just starting up again with the new show. It was all of their dreams they were suddenly taking a time out from. And they had no idea when they would be able to come back.
Miss Piggy walked over to Kermit, took the dress and hanger gently out of his hands, and hung them up. His gaze followed her hands, and then slowly, he looked her in the eyes.
Softly, she asked, "How is Robin doing?"
He nodded vaguely. "Better. He's stopped crying now. I think he'll be alright." He reached for her gloved hand and gave it a tiny squeeze. "I'd better go see how the band is doing," he said, and he walked out of the room.
She stood watching the doorway for a moment. Her eyes drifted to a picture of the two of them that had been taken at a fair, several years ago.
Then she snapped her attention back to the piles of clothes all around her and began sorting through them. So no dry cleaning, and only a week's worth of clothes. So she would need... ten skirts, twelve shirts, eight dresses, nine pairs of heels...
The next morning, they rolled out of bed, grabbed their bags, got on the bus, and left at five o'clock in the morning.
Kermit had called Scooter the night before and explained the situation, so everything at the theater was relatively under control. Thank goodness for go-fers.
And he had also called Robin's teacher, Mr. Barretta, to explain his nephew's sudden absence and find out what they were learning. He copied down that weeks spelling list, convinced Mr. Barretta that he knew his multiplication tables, and promised a thousand times that he would keep in touch. He felt like he had been put through a wringer. Twice. Mr. Barretta sure was a tough teacher.
Once they were on the road, everyone fell back asleep except for Dr. Teeth and Kermit. Dr. Teeth because he was driving, Kermit because he was directing. They didn't have a final destination, but Kermit knew a good place for them to stop for a meal, so they headed there.
After a couple of hours on the road, the other muppets started to wake up. After that, it didn't take long for the complaints to start.
"Kermit?" Fozzie started. "I'm hungry."
"Yeah, Kermit, when can we stop and eat?" Gonzo asked.
"Did you have anything in mind for food?" Rowlf asked.
"Kermie? Where are we going to eat?" Piggy chimed in.
"HUNGRY! HUNGRY!" Animal shouted.
"Relax, guys," he told them. "We're on the way to a place right now." He looked at his still-sleeping nephew next to him, wondering if he should wake him up. "We'll be there before you know it."
Floyd smiled at Janice. "The frog has it all under control."
She nodded. "Rully. Like thanks, Kermit."
Kermit nodded and gave Robin a little nudge. "Uh, Dr. Teeth, turn left up here."
"Here?"
"Yeah."
Dr. Teeth turned the bus onto the street. They were in a city now, surrounded by apartment buildings and little shops. Robin woke up and looked out his window. He saw kids playing on the sidewalks with...
With...
He rubbed his eyes.
With a giant yellow bird?
And over there were some monsters playing hopscotch, and here was a green furry thing in a trash can, and some funny things with horns for noses...
His jaw dropped and he turned to face his uncle. The rest of the bus looked at him, too.
Kermit was humming a song to himself. He let a few lyrics slip out.
"Friendly neighbors there,
that's where we'll meet..."
"Uncle Kermit," Robin said, "are we on-"
"Yes, Robin." Kermit smiled at his nephew. "We're on Sesame Street."
Robin was excited. He was on Sesame Street! A place he had heard about a thousand times before. It was exactly the way his Uncle Kermit had described it to him. This almost made up for not being able to bring his Frog Scout uniform with.
"It's right here," Kermit said, pointing to a small restaurant. Dr. Teeth pulled over. If they felt like the entire street was watching them unboard, they were right. No one on Sesame Street had ever seen such a brightly painted bus. And when they saw who was on it, the street erupted with noise.
Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Bert, Ernie, everyone was swarming Kermit. They hadn't seen him for a while, and they were thrilled to have him back.
Kermit greeted them, scanning the crowd. He noticed one face missing, and it concerned him- for a moment. He had other concerns. Like feeding his friends.
"Listen guys," he addressed the street residents. "I'm happy to see all of you too. But we're really hungry, so-"
And before he could finish his sentence, they were being ushered into the restaurant. Well, maybe more like pushed in.
The Count von Count stood by the door and watched them go in. "That's von dog, von bear, von vhatewer, von animal, von pig, two frogs, and four humans! That makes TWELVE vonderful people! Ah ah ah ah ah..."
Kermit led his friends to a round booth and stood waiting while they scooted in and sat down.
"Uncle Kermit, after breakfast, can we stay here for a while?" Robin asked as he sat down.
"We'll see, Robin. We have to-"
"HEYYYYYY FROGGIE BABYYYYYYYY!"
Kermit felt a furry hand slap him on the back and he doubled over.
"Hello, Grover," he said, and he sat down next to his nephew.
"Oh, I am SO happy to see you again!" Grover gushed. He was clearly more interested in talking than waiting on their table. "So what brings you back to Sesame Street?"
Gonzo butted into the conversation. "We're running for our lives from a bunch of crazy men who want to force us into doing a disgusting movie! Isn't that exciting?"
Clearly, "exciting" was not how Grover would have described it. But Gonzo moved on.
"Oh by the way I love your fur. It's a very nice shade of blue."
Grover brightened up at that. "Oh thank you! I brush it every day. Just like Mommy tells me to."
"Grover?" Kermit interrupted. "Could we get some menus?"
"Oh certainly! I will be riiiiight back."
He rushed to the back of the restaurant. Kermit turned to Robin.
"What I was saying, Robin, is that we might not be able to stay for very long. We should really keep moving as much as we can."
"Oh." Robin looked disappointed. "Okay."
Kermit put a hand on his nephew's shoulder. "We'll come back some time," he said.
Grover ran up to the table, carrying a single menu. "Here you go, Froggie!" he said triumphantly. "Here is your menu."
"Well, um, thanks Grover. But what about everybody else?" Kermit said. "I asked if
we could have
some menus.."
"Ohhh, you allll need menus?"
"MENU! MENU!" Animal shouted.
"Oh, I am so sorrrry! I will go and get you
lots of menus!" And the monster was off again.
"Kermie?" Miss Piggy said, "Will we be eating at this kind of place for the entire trip?"
Kermit shrugged. "Maybe. We'll probably just be stopping where ever we can find food. This might actually be nicer than a lot of places we'll eat at."
Miss Piggy scowled. That was not the answer she wanted to hear.
They heard a grunt and a groan and turned to see Grover carrying a stack of menus about as tall as he was.
"Ohhhhhh!" he pushed the stack of menus onto the table. "Here you go," he gasped. "Here... are... your menus..."
Kermit shook his head.
"Thank you Grover. But we don't need that many."
Grover froze. "You don't?"
"No, see, there's only twelve of us, and you've got a lot more than twelve menus there," Kermit explained.
"Ohhh, how silly of me! I see, you only need
twelve menus. I will take these back then..." and he took the big stack of menus off the table and started to carry them all back. "Oh, these are so HEAVY!"
Kermit called after him, "WAIT NO GROVER LEAVE SOME OF... them... here?" but Grover was gone. "Aw, sheesh!" Kermit turned back to the table. "This could take a while."
"It looks like twelve is the number of the day," Rowlf said.
"Yeah," Kermit nodded. "I guess so."
They did eventually get the right number of menus, their food, and a relatively good meal.
"Uncle Kermit?" Robin asked when he was done. "Could you please show me around Sesame Street now?"
Kermit looked at the clock. Well... they hadn't been there
that long... besides, everyone else was still eating...
"I suppose we have time to see Big Bird's nest," he said.
The frogs excused themselves from the table and went to leave. Kermit opened the door for his nephew... and immediately pulled him back in. He closed the door almost all the way, staring out in disbelief.
No.
A blue van had pulled to the curb. A grey outfit. And another. And another.
Kermit ran back to the table, practically dragging Robin.
"They're here!" he whispered urgently.
"Hide!"
Then he grabbed Grover and ducked behind a counter.
"Grover," he said, "You see those men coming in, all dressed in grey?"
Grover peered around the counter.
"Yes"
"Good. Because they would love to hear all about your mommy."
"Really?"
"Yes. So go tell them!"
Grover didn't need to be told twice. Kermit watched carefully. When he was satisfied that all twelve of Galt's men were thoroughly distracted, he crept out of his hiding place and signalled for the others to do the same. They slipped out of the restaurant and onto the bus undetected.
And they went for all they were worth.
It was a pattern they had to get used to. For the next five weeks, they roamed the country. And almost every time they stopped for a meal, or checked into a hotel, they would soon be joined by twelve men dressed in grey, and they would have to sneak out. And they very rarely had the good fortune of a distracting waiter to create a diversion. There were several times when they hadn't even been able to pay for their food because they were busy sneaking out. Almost every night, they would check into a hotel, and find that Galt's men were in the room next to them. So they would check out, and go to some other hotel, usually one that was dingy, dirty, and generally unkept.
Before long, they had settled into their "usual" seats on the bus. Kermit managed to find a payphone once a week to call Mr. Barretta for that week's spelling list, and to call Scotter with that week's instructions.
And in this fashion, they travelled throughout the continental US for a month. Until one night, after transferring once again to an exceptionally disgusting hotel, Kermit had a brainstorm. They would start out even earlier than they had on that first morning, and they would just drive and drive and drive. They would go through fast food chains for their meals. And, hopefully, they would lose the grey men.
It had worked just fine until dinner. At dinner, they found themselves in Houston, Texas, and they stopped at a diner to eat. They had thought they were well ahead, so they had ordered dessert. And then the men had come.
The muppets had practically thrown the money at the waitress before bolting for the door. They had gotten onto the bus quickly, and they had been driving ever since.
Floyd shifted in his seat. Well, that was it. And now he was here. Probably still in Texas somewhere, nothing but desert for miles around, no sign of life anywhere.
He sighed deeply. Hopefully, nothing else would go wrong.
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