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Destination: Home


Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2005
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Alright, Here goes.
This is a muppet fanfic that has been rolling around in my head for... oh, I'd say about a year now. And for as much as I nag other fanfic writers to keep their stories coming, it's only fair that I give them an opportunity to nag on mine. I'm open to criticism of all kinds. Please don't be afraid of "hurting my feelings"- I want to know what people think.
So my next post will start the story.
<deep breath> Here we go!


Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2005
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They rushed out of the diner, glancing worriedly over their shoulders and rushing forward, with a blur of voices exploding into the evening air.

"Hurry, hurry, everybody on the bus!"

"Come on, hurry up!"

"Guys lets go! NOW!"

"Animal, get on the bus!"

"Hurry up!"

They were all on the bus within a matter of seconds. The doors closed behind them, but the shouting didn't stop.

"Okay, are we all here?"

"Whose turn is it to drive?"

"I think it's Fozzie's turn."

"Where's Robin?"


"I'm right here, Uncle Kermit."

"Where are the keys?"

"In the ignition"

"Alright, let's go!"

Finally the bus roared out of the parking lot, and the muppets settled into their various seats. Floyd tied Animal to one of the seats, then sat two seats behind it, where Janice was waiting for him. He settled next to the window, his arm around his main squeeze, and looked around the bus.

There was Animal where he had just been tied. A few seats ahead of him was Dr. Teeth. Fozzie was driving, and Rowlf was just behind him. Three seats behind Rowlf sat Gonzo and Camilla. Towards the back of the bus, Miss Piggy was settling into her window seat, grumbling something about not finishing her dessert. Kermit was next to her, helping Robin into the seat and trying to remember where they had left off on the spelling list. And in the very last seat behind Floyd and Janice, Zoot was already falling asleep.

Floyd sighed, leaning against the window. He gazed out at the darkening sky, noticing how his reflection became more distinct and then faded again as they passed street lights. The Electric Mayhem bus sped out of the city as his thoughts drifted to how they had found themselves here.


Their latest movie had been successful enough. Actually, it had somewhat overwhelmed them. The actual filming of it had been fine, but suddenly there had been a whole lot of promoting to do. Every day it was another talk show, another magazine or newspaper wanting an interview, another guest appearance on another random television show, another rumor to squash, another crazy reporter trying to get them to make fools of themselves. By the time the dvds had come out and the buzz had all died down, they had been more than ready for a good long break.

But it had really started six months after that. By then it was late summer- or had it been early fall? It was the first day of Robin's school year.
Many of the muppets had moved out of the muppet boarding house during the last movie, mostly because they were sick of waiting in line for the bathroom. By then it was just Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Camilla, Fozzie, Robin, and the Electric Mayhem living there.

Kermit walked into Robin's room. "Robin? Are you awake?" Then he saw the frog-shaped blob under the blankets. "Robin!" He stood next to the bed. "Robin, wake up! You don't want to be late. It's your first day of school!"
The young frog burst up from under the blankets, landing on his feet and startling his uncle. He was wide awake and all ready.

"I know!" He said cheerfully.

Kermit laughed and gave his nephew a hug. "All set?"


"Good. Let's go see what's for breakfast."

They found Fozzie in the kitchen, struggling to make pancakes. He tried to flip one, but it landed on top of his hat. He turned to them, embarassed.
"I never thought I would miss having the chef around." He tried to save some of his ego.

"Well, at least what we eat now is actually edible." Kermit teased. "Want some help?"


A few minutes later, everybody was sitting around the table with a huge stack of pancakes in front of them. Well, everybody but Miss Piggy.

Kermit looked around the table with his usual questions for everybody.

"Think of any good jokes lately, Fozzie?"

The bear looked excited. "Oh Kermit, you're gonna love it! OK, listen to this. What's brown and sticky?"

Kermit shook his head. "I give up."

"A stick! Get it? A stick? Because it's brown, and it's STICK-y! Wocka wocka!"

Kermit shook his head again and turned to Gonzo. "Got any new acts?"

Gonzo looked a little disappointed. "No, I'm waiting for that new stunt ramp I ordered to come. It should have been here last week."

"Well I'll keep an eye open for it." Kermit assured him, and he heard the kitchen door open. Knowing who it was, he promptly reached for the newspaper and started to read it.

"Good morning, everybody!" Miss Piggy called with her usual dramatic entrance. A small chorus of "good mornings" greeted her as she walked over and stood next to Kermit's chair.

"Good moring, Kermie."

"Good morning, Piggy." He didn't look up.


"Well what?" He knew perfectly well "well what."

"Well? Aren't you going to kiss me good morning?"

He tried not to smile as he put the paper down and looked at her. "Well Piggy, I would, but..."


"But, um... I have syrup breath." He motioned towards his half-eaten pancakes.

"Well, you could just give me a little kiss on the cheek, couldn't you?"

Of course he could, but that wasn't part of the game. They went through this every morning. She would come down looking for her kiss, he would see how long he could delay. One time he had even stalled until dinner. But they both knew she would get her kiss by the end of the day.

He smiled up at her. "Well, but I wouldn't want to ruin your make-up."

"Oh I don't mind."

Normally this was when he would twist her words, say that she didn't mind not getting her morning kiss. But He didn't feel like playing that much today. So he just gave her a little peck on the cheek and returned to eating his breakfast.

"Thank you, Kermie!" She casually took her seat, proud that she had beat him so easily today.

He turned his attention to the Electric Mayhem. "Do you guys have a gig today?"

"Naw, man." Floyd said. "Animal's gotten us kicked out of just about everywhere!"

They all turned to Animal.


Soon breakfast was over, Robin was rushing out the door to school, and every one of them found themselves dreading the day ahead. As much as they had wanted a break six months ago, now they were itching with boredom. Because those past six months had been just the same thing, over and over and over. Everyday they did the same thing- nothing. Absolutely nothing. And "nothing" was just more than they could handle anymore. Animal was constantly either drumming up migranes for the other house occupants or breaking something. Gonzo developed and practiced new acts, but there was nothing to practice them for. Fozzie thought of new jokes, but he had no audience for them. Rowlf and the Electric Mayhem all had nothing to do but play music. And while they loved playing music, there was no one to play it for. Miss Piggy was almost getting tired of shopping, as the mall didn't seem to have anything new anymore. Robin had been somewhat busy with frog scouts, but in between those activities he was stiff with boredom. And Kermit was about to burst. They needed something new. Something... anything... they needed it. And they needed it now.


Well-Known Member
Jan 31, 2005
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Lisa I love it! It's awesome and I can't wait to read more! (I suppose I should get back to writing mine....)


Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2005
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yes, yes I suppose you should.
And I will get back to mine as soon as I finish breakfast.

voice inside my head: BREAKFAST? It's almost eleven o'clock!

oh hush.


Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2002
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Oooh! I like! This should keep you occupied while you ware waiting for...um...mine...which I should be doing rather than sitting reading this...um..excellent fan-fic.

Skeeter Muppet

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2002
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I like it, and I'm looking forward to reading more!

I take it Scooter was one of those who moved out of the boarding house?



Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2005
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yeah, Scooter moved out. But we'll see him again, along with a whole bunch of other people. You'll see...


Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2005
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Floyd felt the bus easing onto an exit ramp. He refocused his eyes from the sky to the ground and realized Fozzie was pulling into a gas station. The bear smiled weakly at the bus occupants. "It'll probably be the last time we can get gas for awhile."

They slowly unboarded the bus, stretching, yawning, making their way into the store part of the station. They grazed the aisles for something to snack on while Fozzie filled the tank. Kermit stayed near Robin, still working on the spelling list.

"Okay, Robin, spell 'witch'."

"Which 'witch'?"

"The evil kind."

"Oh. Um.... W-H-I.."

"Nope. That's the other which."


"It's okay, keep trying."

"WANT SNACK! WANT SNACK!" Animal shouted, grabbing candy off of the shelves, making a mess of the store.

"Down Animal!" Floyd ordered, bending down to replace the fallen candy to the shelves.

It wasn't long before they were back on the bus, everyone in the same seats except for Dr. Teeth and Fozzie. It was Dr. Teeth's turn to drive now, and his seat had now been taken by the bear.

Floyd sighed deeply, and let his eyes rest on the stars as he thought back to that day...


Kermit had gone out to get the mail when he called for Gonzo to come out. Moments later the weirdo was jumping with delight, shouting for Camilla, running to get his motorcycle, and setting up his new stunt ramp in the street.

Kermit smiled at his friend's excitement, then took the pile of mail inside to sort through it.

"Let's see... bill, bill, bill... who the heck is Bill? I'll have to look into that." He set the letters for Bill aside. "Where was I... advertisement... junk mail... credit card stuff- I'm not sure I want to look at that." He started a pile for Miss Piggy. "Uh... thank you for your donation... Oh, Robin's merit badge... reminding you of your appointment- Fozzie! You have a dentist appointment tomorrow! Um, let's see... what's this?"

What was it indeed? It was addressed to Kermit the Frog and Company from some one named Lloyd Galt. Kermit didn't know any one named Lloyd Galt, he had never even heard the name before. But apparently Lloyd Galt had heard of Kermit, and he lived in Pine Springs, Texas.

Kermit sat down on the couch and opened the letter. He read it carefully.

Dear Mr. Kermit the Frog,

I have developed a script for a movie that I would be very interested in having you and your friends perform in. I will be arriving in your area next week for about one month. Please call me at your earliest convenience to set up an appointment.


Lloyd Galt
Kermit looked at the date on the letter. It had been written a week ago. So "next week" was now "this week."

"Guys! Everybody! Come here! Come quick!" He shouted. He leaned out a window. "Gonzo! Camilla! Come here, you've gotta see this!" He shouted up the stairs, "Miss Piggy! Fozzie! Rowlf! Dr. Teeth! Everybody! Come see this!"

He read the letter again. It was awfully vague. No details on the movie at all. Nothing on what it was about, the basic plot line... a tiny warning light went on in Kermit's mind. Maybe he was getting too excited. Maybe he shouldn't get everybody else excited. But still, it was SOMETHING. Something new! Something they hadn't been doing for six months already.

Soon everyone was in the room, crowding around Kermit, all of them trying to fit onto the couch. They were bombarding him with questions. He could hardly keep track of the questions, let alone who was asking them.

"Hey what's going on?"

"What are you shouting about?"

"What happened?"

"What's so exciting?"

"Come on, man, we were practicing!"

"What the heck is going on?"

Kermit looked around. How the heck was he supposed to tell them anything if he couldn't even hear himself think?

"QUIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!" He shouted. They all quickly stopped talking. All but Janice.

"And I said, look girl, if you want to pose naked that's fine, but don't drag ME into it..." She looked around at everyone staring at her. "Oh."

Kermit just shook his head. "Ok guys, listen to this!" He read the letter aloud.

"So are we gonna do the movie?" Rowlf asked.

"What's it about?" Fozzie asked.

"Yeah, and who's Lloyd Galt?" Dr. Teeth asked.

"Yeah, Kermit..."

Uh oh. He'd better give them some sort of answer before they got into a mesh of voices again.

"I don't know." He said. They fell silent. Kermit didn't know? "It doesn't say in the letter what the movie is about, or who Lloyd Galt is. It just has his number."

"So are you going to call him?" Miss Piggy asked.

"Well, I don't see any other way to find out more about the movie." Kermit said.

"Yay!" They started to shout again.

"Wait a minute guys, wait a minute." Kermit remembered that warning light. "I'm a little wary of all this."

"But why? It's something New!" Gonzo said.

"Well yeah, but..."

"But what?" Floyd asked.

"Well it's just that he doesn't really tell us anything. It's almost like he doesn't really want us to know about what's in the movie. Like he's afraid we won't do it if we find out."

"So, like, you won't call him?" Janice asked.

"I never said that. I'm going to call him right now!" Kermit hopped off the couch and went to the phone. He looked at the number on the letter and dialed.

Robin came home from school a few hours later. "Uncle Kermit, did my new merit badge come yet?" He asked as he came in the door.

Kermit smiled. Robin had asked that every day for almost two weeks now. "It's on the counter." He said

"Oh boy!" The young frog grabbed the badge and started to hop up to his room to put it on his frog scout uniform.

"Well now wait a minute, Robin" Kermit stopped him. "How was your first day of school?"

"Oh it was wonderful, Uncle Kermit!" They sat down on the couch as Robin told all the details of his day. Gonzo was back outside practicing new stunts on the stunt ramp. Miss Piggy was in her room, and the Electric Mayhem were all practicing in one of the bedrooms that had been emptied when people started moving out. Fozzie was practicing jokes in front of his mirror. Rowlf was playing on the piano in the corner.

"We've had a bit of excitement here, too, today" Kermit told his nephew.

Robin gasped. "Really?"

"Mm hm. For one thing, Gonzo got that stunt ramp."

"I saw that."

"And for another thing..." Kermit pulled out the letter for his nephew to read. The young frog grabbed it eagerly.

"Did you call him, Uncle Kermit?"

"Yes I did."

"And what did he say?"

"Well, I set up an appointment with him. I'm going to go see him tomorrow. Then we'll talk about the movie, and he'll give me a copy of the script."

"Did he say anything about the movie when you talked to him?"

Kermit shook his head. "All he said was that there's a part for all of us. Even one for you."

Kermit watched his nephews eyes light up with excitement. "Really, Uncle Kermit? Oh boy!"

"Well don't get too excited. We still don't know anything about the movie itself." He was reminding himself as much as his nephew.

That evening they all sat around the dinner table, eagerly discussing the possibilities of the movie. Suddenly they heard an explosion, and all fell silent. They were accustomed to explosions, but Crazy Harry had moved out months ago, as had Bunsen and Beaker, and Animal was sitting there with them. Who else would cause an explosion?

Then they heard the squeal of brakes... a small crash... silence.


It sounded like it had come from outside. Kermit stood up. "I'd better go see what that was." The others followed him outside.

They stood on the porch and stared at the giant oak tree, not quite believing what they saw. It appearred that a small, rusty old pick-up truck had landed in the tree. Or rather, what used to be a small, rusty old pick-up truck. The entire front end, especially the driver's side, was entirely smashed. A glance at the whole scene showed what had happened. A large car part lay farther up the road, some smaller ones scattered past it. The explosion had been when this fell out of the bottom of the truck. The screech of brakes was visible, too... burnt rubber marks swerving across the road, zig-zagging and finally running off the road to where Gonzo had pulled his stunt ramp before dinner. That was the smaller crash- running into the ramp. It had launched the truck spinning through the air- that was the silence. And then the final crash landed it in the tree.

"Fozzie?" Kermit managed to say. "Call 911."

"Yes sir." Fozzie said. He didn't move.

The muppets watched in terror as the truck creaked, rocked, and finally fell to the ground, smashing the passenger side and destroying what little was left of the truck. Kermit turned and saw Fozzie still standing there.

"Fozzie! Now!"

"Yes Sir! Going, Sir!" Fozzie ran into the house. The rest of the muppets slowly crept up to the drivers side of the truck.

Inside was a girl, probably in her early twenties. Broken bits of glass stuck in her skin, and she was bleeding horribly. Her long black hair was tangled around the head rest. She was barely maintaining conciousness as she gazed at them through half-open, large, dark eyes. Still, through the mess, any one could tell that she was beautiful.

"hhhhhhh.... hhhhheh..... hhhhheh...." Her voice was weak, hardly audible at all. "hhhhhellllllllllp" she managed to get out.

"Don't worry." Kermit told her comfortingly. "You're going to be alright."


Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2005
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I'm so glad you like that joke. It's one of my favorites.
I'm curious what people think of some of the other lines. Any opinions out there on Fozzie's joke? Or Janice's line? Or the exchange between Kermit and Piggy? Or any other random part of any of it so far?
Any way, I'm glad some people seem to enjoy reading it, because I'm enjoying writing it. I'll try to get some more up tomorrow, but parents are nagging about getting my room clean. <grumble grumble>
We should be seeing some old friends soon. If not in the next part, then in the part after it. Not quite sure how far I'll go. I guess we'll just have to wait and see!