Triple Breakdown with Commentary!
Floyd looked to the very back of the bus, where all of their instruments lay, untouched since they packed them on that first morning. The Electric Mayhem had hoped to play some gigs while they were on the road, but of course they had been focussing on running away.
So much for a cross-country tour.
He sighed.
We were better off before we left, he thought.
At least then we could play.
Suddenly he heard a sputtering sound. He sat up. Sputtering, and now choking, and now there was smoke, and now the bus was jerking to a stop on the side of the empty road.
Everyone was awake now. Dr. Teeth stood and turned to face them. His face was grim.
"Something's wrong with the bus."
They slowly unboarded and made a semi-circle around the engine of the bus. Smoke was slipping out from under the hood. Fozzie opened it. The smoke immediately began to gush out at them, and they all started coughing and choking.
commentary That's breakdown number one. end commentary
Once the smoke subsided, they all peered in at the engine. Not that looking at it did any good. None of them knew much about cars.
"Looks like it's all gone up in smoke," Rowlf said.
commentary Have I mentioned that I love Rowlf? From a writer's perspective, he throws in some necessary humor, but he can be serious, too. From the perspective of the rest of the world, well, he's just plain awesome. I love Rowlf. end commentary
Miss Piggy was outraged. She grabbed Kermit and dragged him a couple feet away from the rest of the group.
"
Kermie, I can't do this anymore. FIVE WEEKS of this already! FIVE WEEKS of the exact same clothes! FIVE WEEKS of dumpy hotels! FIVE WEEKS of filthy, disgusting restaurants! FIVE WEEKS of no dessert! FIVE WEEKS of running out of every door we go in! FIVE WEEKS in those bus seats! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Kermie! And now this crappy excuse for a bus breaks down in the middle of the night, and there's NOBODY around to fix it! This is the last straw. I can't handle this, Kermit. I'M. LEAVING."
commentary That's breakdown number two. And this is about where this chapter started getting hard to write. end commentary
She turned and started to storm off. Kermit stood there, stunned. He found his voice and shouted after her.
"
AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO, HUH?"
She froze. He walked up to her. He was furious, absolutely furious.
"Where are you going to go,
Miss Piggy? Where? Do you see any five-star hotels? Any mansions? Any limosines? Room service? Huh? Do you see any of that stuff? Do you see anything at all? Because I sure don't! We're in the middle of
nowhere! We're in the middle of some desert in the middle of the night and the only thing around is
us!" He hesitated a moment, then, a little more calmly, he went on. "Piggy, none of us have enjoyed the past five weeks! Not a single one of us! Do you think you're the only one who misses eating dessert? Or not having to run out of every restaurant? Or stopping in a hotel and actually staying there? It's either this or Galt and his movie!" His anger started to mount again. "
We're doing the best we can! We're trying to stay
alive, Piggy. So if you want to go,
FINE. Go right ahead. Have fun. Good luck. But you won't get far. Because right now, the
only thing that
we have is
us."
commentary Ooh. That line gives me shivers. I rewrote it a couple of times to get the desired effect. Oh, and by the way, that's breakdown 2.5. Not quite breakdown 3 yet. Just two point five. end commentary
He turned and walked back to the rest of the group. By this time Miss Piggy was bawling. She followed him slowly, sniffing, trying in vain to wipe away her tears.
"Kermit?" Fozzie said, "What are we going to do?"
Kermit sighed.
How should I know, he thought. But he didn't say anything, just looked around.
He saw Piggy, all dishevelled. He saw his friends, all depending on him. He saw desert, so much desert. He saw the bus, with it's crazy paint job and it's open hood. And he saw Robin.
Robin. His nephew. He had promised his brother he would take care of Robin.
commentary I stole that line from Beauregard's Fanfiction. But there will be more on that in a few chapters. You'll see... end commentary
That he would protect him. He had made that same promise to Robin. And to himself.
And now, Robin was looking at his uncle, waiting for him to fulfill that promise. Waiting for him to provide comfort, shelter, warmth...
Kermit lifted his gaze to the road ahead, and he noticed something. It wasn't much. But it could give him a chance to collect his thoughts. Something he needed desperately.
commentary I love being vague like that. end commentary
But first thing's first. He looked again at his nephew, so full of despair and pain. But he didn't bend down to give him a hug, didn't offer any words of comfort. Instead, he walked back onto the bus. He took his suitcase, opened it, looked inside.
He had told Robin that he could not pack his frog scout uniform. What he hadn't told Robin was that he was taking his frog scout handkerchief. He had been saving it for a time like this.
He picked it up, closed his suitcase, and went back outside, where everyone was waiting for him. He knelt in front of the young frog and carefully tied the handkerchief around his neck. Then he said, "I need a good frog scout to build a fire for us."
He stood and whispered to the others. "Let him play leader for a little bit. He needs it." They nodded. Then he said louder, "I'm going to go check what that says," and he pointed to a road sign about a hundred feet down the road, facing the other way. "Start unloading the bus. We're probably staying here tonight."
He turned and started walking towards the sign. Robin set off with Rowlf to start building the fire. Miss Piggy sat down in the sand, crying, watching Kermit as he walked away. The rest of the muppets started unloading the bus.
Kermit walked slowly, turning his mind off. He didn't want to think just then. He wanted to go and see what was on the sign first. He didn't know why. He was almost positive it wouldn't help them. But still...
He got to the sign quicker than he thought he would. He walked around it, and slowly lifted his head to read it.
commentary Originally the sign was facing towards the bus, but then Kermit would have seen what it said before he got to it, and that was just no good. end commentary
commentary Now this is the official "Kermit's moment of self doubt and Oh-shoot-I-screwed-up-what-the-heck-am-I-going-to-do-now." I know, he already had a moment of self doubt, but this is the official one. There's one in each of the first three movies. Trust me, I researched it. This is mainly based on the "Kermit's moment of self doubt etc." from The Muppet Movie, but I took the others into consideration, too. Oh, and this coming up is breakdown three. end commentary
Kermit felt himself sink down into the ground. He turned and leaned on one of the posts of the sign, and looked back at huddle of muppets by the bus.
His friends.
He had let them down.
He counted them off in his head. Fozzie, Gonzo, Camilla, Miss Piggy, Rowlf, Robin, and the Electric Mayhem. Stuck in a desert, at night, a tiny flicker of a fire... a memory.
commentary One of my ideas was that at one point during the whole "breakdown in the desert" scene, Gonzo would look around and say, "Anybody else got de ja vue?" But that got vetoed, because I couldn't work it in. And because I couldn't figure out how to spell "de ja vue". end commentary
He spoke softly, his voice low.
"We've been here before. But not with Robin. No, last time we were with Scooter. Robin was still in the swamp. No, he wasn't born yet. Last time we were going to Hollywood. We were going to... to fortune and fame and happiness. But now... now it feels like... like those are what we're leaving."
His words hung in the empty night air.
"What changed. What changed? And why did I bring them all back here again? Haven't I learned from my mistakes? ...What did I do wrong? Why did I lead them all out into the middle of this desert? ...And... why am I leading them at all? Why am I leading?"
His let his head hang down.
"And now the... the bus is broken down, and... none of us can fix it. The only people who might find us here are... are Galt's men. And they won't help us. They want to hurt us... don't they? ...Or do they? ...What do they want with us, anyway? Why do they do this for Lloyd? What's in it for them? ...What would they do if they caught us, anyway?"
commentary A little more irony. And some very good questions from Kermit. We'll answer them later. Oh, and here's a very obvious reference in a couple of lines. end commentary
He sighed. "I don't know. ...I don't know. I have absolutely no idea what they want with us."
A memory flickered in his mind. "Millions of people happy. I can't even keep my friends happy. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I just... I guess I give up."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was wrong. He lifted his head, took a deep breath, and tried to fight the utter despair.
"No. No. I can't give up. I will not give up. I won't. I... I have to try. Don't I? I... I have to have hope..." He took another breath before he spoke again. His words were even, steady. "I have to help my friends."
He stood up and gazed at the night sky. It was filled with stars. Hundreds, and thousands, and millions of stars. So many of them. With a clearer mind, he realized how beautiful they were.
commentary Now if you watch Muppet Treasure Island and/or Muppet Christmas Carol, you will hear Brian Henson say that they tried to give Kermit a shooting star in each movie since Jim died, because of the shooting star in The Muppet Movie. Now they haven't quite been keeping up with that. But anyway, here is my shooting star for Kermit and Jim. end commentary
As he gazed up at them, he beheld a marvelous sight. A shooting star flew across the sky, sparkeling with an overwhelming magnificence, lighting the night for a brief moment before disapearing into space. It was simply inspirational.
With his head held high and a fresh confidence in his stride, Kermit the Frog walked back to his friends. There was no true logic behind it, but now, he had within him a tiny glimmer of hope.
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