Cross Advertising with Muppet Names

[DanDanStrawberry]

Link: Well, here we are at the buffet
Piggy: I can't believe they're eating us
Andy: But we're soooooooooo.....
*several seconds later*
Andy:..oooooooooo
Piggy: Hey bozo! Is there an end to this sentence!
Waldorf: We wish
Statler: Eat the pigs

[sorry, best I could think of]

Product: Muppets.com
Muppets: Beaker and Rizzo [just to be different]

 

[That Announcer]

Rizzo: Hello there, funseekers! Now recently, our official site Muppets.com went down for some minor repairs. However, any minute now, it should be fixed!

(Beaker enters)
Beaker: Mee! Mee mo meep ma meep meep mee! Mee ma mee-mee!
Rizzo: Are you sayin' that the site's back up?
Beaker: Mee mee!
Rizzo: Does that mean 'yes'?
Beaker: (nods head)
Rizzo: Well, you heard that, funseekers! Head on over to Muppets.com, where everything's fresh, and where the studio maps are an amazing product. Right, Beaker: (shakes head) Mee mee meep.
Rizzo: Why you little... (starts to pound Beaker)

Next product: "Fer Sure Guitars"
with Janice and Floyd

 

[HPDJ]

Janice: Rock on down to Fer Sure guitars, fer sure!
Floyd: Yeah, we would offer you a coupon, but Animal ate it!
Janice: So hop like a frog to Fer sure guitars!
All: Fer sure baby!

NEXT: Beaker and Bunsen's science house!
WITH: Elmo, Bunsen, Beaker, Count Von Count, Skeeter!

 

[DanDanStrawberry]

Beaker: Meep meep meep meep meep meep?
Bunsen: Hmmm, I also wonder if people have ever wanted your job?
Beaker: Meep moop moop moolmo
Bunsen: Indeed, we did ask Elmo

Elmo: Elmo would want to be Beaker

Bunsen: So there we have it folks. Now you can "check it out" for real at Bunsen and Beaker (but mainly Bunsen)'s House of Science. Free entry for the under 1's, and how much is it for everyone else, Beakie?
Beaker: Moop meep
Bunsen: That cheap? You can take the whole family!!

Next ad: Muppet Survivor
With: Mildred, Grover, Sam Eagle and Johnny Fiama
Synopsis: Muppet Survivor is about to be bombarded onto our screens, these contestants have been asked to appear on the ad.

 

[theprawncracker]

Mildred: We must survive boys! Listen to Millie!

Grover: Oh Millie, can I have some brownies?

Johnny: Brownies? Huh? Why'd your team get brownies?

Sam: Because, we are Americans!

Johnny: And we aren't?

Sam: Of course not! You're Italian!

Mildred: Ooh, how exotic!

Next Ad: Muppet Central.com
Characters: Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Uncle Deadly, Piggy, and Scooter

 

[DanDanStrawberry]

(OOC: Tee-hee, exotic)

Fozzie: I'm bored
Gonzo: I know, let's shove crustaceans in our nostrils
Piggy: Gonzo, moi doesn't want to be associated with such activities.
Kermit: I know, let's get to MuppetCentral.com!!
Scooter: What's that boss?
Kermit: You mean you've never been?
Scooter: No...I don't think they do flights this time of year
Piggy: Oh Scooter, vous can't fly there. You need to get the train!!
Gonzo: Oh yeah! I can eat sushi in the carriage!
Fozzie: I think it's a website. You know, the site 'specially designed for spider webs. Huh..Wocka Wocka
Piggy: Fozzie, that was terrible.
Scooter: So let's go to MuppetCentral
All: Why don't you go to Muppet Central too?
Gonzo: ..al too? Oh...too late.

Nw: Dolmio Sauce
With: Sal and Johnny

 

[LinkiePie<3]

~Sal accidently spills a pot of Johnny Fiama's ma's marinara sauce~

Johnny Fiama: Aw, Sal! That was ma's sauce.! Now, how are we going to enjoy our Italian consumption of rigatoni? *shrugs* Sal?

Sal Minella: I-I-I'm sorry, Johnny. But, I'll it up to you...

Johnny Fiama: Yeah?

Sal Minella: It made not be homemade by Johnny's ma, but we can now enjoy our pasta with this! Da-da-na-naaah... *reveals the Dolmio Sauce*

Johnny Fiama: That's not ma's sauce.

Sal Minella: It isn't ma's sauce, but, it's good. You should at least try, tonight. Our dinner would be more enjoyable with a jar of Dolmio sauce. Try. Just try.

Johnny Fiama: Eh. Okay, Sal. If you insist. *takes a tiny proportion of Dolmio Sauce, smacking his lips* Mmmm... I love it! It makes me wanna sing!

Oh this is the night
it's a beautiful night

and we call it bella notte
look at the skies

they have stars in their eyes

on this lovely bella notte

side by side with your loved one

you will find the enchantment here

the night will weave its magic spell

when the one you love is near, oh

this is the night

and the heavens all rise

on this lovely bella notte

Sal Minella: That's... great to hear, John. Are you singing to me? That's lovely to hear, Johnny? Johnny?

Johnny Fiama: I can go on all day!

Annoucer: Dolmio Sauce. "Whens'a your Dolmio today?"

Next: Pigtoria's Secert
With: Miss Piggy, Spamela Hamderson, Annie Sue, Lydia, Link Hogthrob

 

[MuppetsFan4Life]

Miss Piggy: (wearing a pink robe) Bonjour! It's me, the star of the commercial, Miss Piggy! Kissy, Kissy! And today, I am here to tell you about my brand new store-

Annie Sue: (steps in front of her) It's called Pigtoria's Secret, and it's filled with the best stuff to make you beautiful, pig or human!

Miss Piggy: Um, Annie, dear?

Annie Sue: Yes?

Miss Piggy: Whose commercial is this?

Annie Sue: Um, yours?

Miss Piggy: That's correct. So, why are you here?

Annie Sue: Kermit said it was best for me to advertise the store.

Miss Piggy: (angry) What?!

Annie Sue: (shrugs) I dunno; he said he wanted fresh and young beauty.

Miss Piggy: (growls) I'll give him a beauty mark he won't forget!

Link Hogthrob: (runs to her) Um, Miss Piggy? We're still rolling. Maybe you want to show our viewers what the Pigtoria's Secret store can do.

Miss Piggy: (calms down) OH! Oh, yes, yes. yes! Thank you, Link. (clears throat) As you can see from Lydia here...

(Lydia walks on without the tatoos around her body)

Miss Piggy: ....those horrid tatoos can be covered up instantly with Pigtoria's secret very own tatoo remover so your beautiful pigskin can show!

Annie Sue: I'm not sure that's a good idea. Lydia likes her tatoos!

Miss Piggy: (waves dismissively) Oh, don't worry. It can come off... Anyway, you can buy clothing of all pig sizes to match your figure! And you'll look just as sexy as moi! Just look at this! (takes off robe and is wearing a bikini, which is a size or 2 too small) Now, you can go swimming in the best fashion! Though it's not so comfortable...

Spamela Anderson: (comes out wearing the same bikini, but it looks much better on her) It is for me! Don't I look gorgeous?

Kermit: (off-screen) You look beautiful!

Miss Piggy: Grrrrr.... trying to steal my frog?! Take this! HIIIIIII-YAH!! (karate-chops Spamela and she goes flying out the store)

[CRASH!]

Miss Piggy: (smiles) So, you may not be as beautiful as yours truly, but it doesn't hurt to try! So, come down to Pigtoria's Secret- to bring out the beauty in pigs everywhere!

Link Hogthrob: (mutters) Except for one... (snickers)

Miss Piggy: You asked for it, birdbrain! HIIIIIII-YAH!! (karate-chops him into the camera and it goes fuzzy)

****
Product: Fozzie's 101 Funny Joke Book
Purpose: A collection of his "greatest" jokes
With: Fozzie, Kermit, Staler and Waldorf

 

[Dominicboo1]

Kermit- Hi ho friends, and welcome to Muppet Book of the Year! As you know Miss Piggy and I both wrote books about success in life, but now with more of a comical idea! Here's Fozzie Bear!
Fozzie- Aah! Thank you Kermit! Now we all love to laugh! Right? So if you want 101 great fits of non stop laughing try Fozzie's 101 Funny Jokes Book!
Staler- Laugh? At your book?
Fozzie- Yeah? Why not?
Waldorf- I might have laughed more at a funeral!
Both- Ho ho ho ho ho!
Fozzie- Well apparently I can not advertise without being heckled so I'm done for now.
Next- Super Cleaning Detergent
With: George the Janitor, Gonzo, and Beauregard

 

[12Medbe]

(Backstage)
*Gonzo comes out on stage*
Gonzo: And now George the Janitor and Beauregard in a tribute to Condiments ! Yaaaaay!
*Curtains open*
George: Oh the joys of Ketchup
*Beauregard walks out with two mustard squirt bottles, slips, and squirts George*
George: Like I said! Oh the joys of Ketchup!
*George picks up two Ketchup squirt bottles and squirts Bearegard, a condiment fight then strikes*
*Backstage*
*Gonzo Laughs*
Gonzo: Looks like a blast! But they're going to need this *points to Super Cleaning Detergent next to him on a stool* Super Cleaning Detergent.

Next - Travel Ad for Visiting the Muppet Universe.
With: Animal, Cookie Monster, Gonzo, Ernie, Bert, Kermit, Wembley, and Boppity Frackle.