Commercial rant time...

Drtooth

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(looking back at the first post I made on this thread, it's funny how even I turned the thread into "there's more dangerous advertisements than junk food" to "this commercial sucks, doesn't it?" But am glad to see most of the commercials I complained about no longer exist).

Anyway, three things that have been on my nerves lately.

Some dumb tablet strategy Warcrafty type ripoff thing that probably upsells you on everything. Not so much for what it's selling, but how they sell it. Blatant oversexualization that comes off both misogynistic and well out of date. Some flawless beauty blonde chick dressed in armor pretending to be an action chick (a poorly executed one at that) walking around stroking everyone's chins while talking about armies and stuff and suggestively says "will you be my hero?" at the end that roughly translates to "Hey, Dorkaroni! Buy this tablet game and maybe a woman like me will jump out and [this is a family site, so insert your own imagination here and make me blameless]" In other words, the commercial seems to be enticing the old 1970's and 80's sociologically challenged basement dweller that no longer exists (hence my "out of date" comment). Worse, there's a theatrical one where she even gets out of a bath with the help of hand maidens. If this is supposed to be some The Asylum style cash in off of Game of Thrones commercial, even then it just comes off as sloppy sexualization. Yeah, sex sells and all, but there has to be some subtly to it. Meanwhile, Clash of Clans and Boom beach manage to go the opposite direction and make catchy, fun, and actually pretty funny commercials for essentially the same thing.

Secondly, while this is far from new, it seems to have made a comeback. The 15 second spot that shortens down an actually good ad so you can see the same mediocre half ad twice on a commercial break. There's this Behr paint commercial I somehow like. It has this intentionally stupid song that's actually kinda funny and somehow it perfectly punctuates the visual of a huge eyed old busybody with huge, cartoonish circular glasses )to the part where her eye movements synch up with with the music. And somehow, because of that it works. The hacked version ruins this with poor timing and execution. I hate that. It's like whoever made the commercial made it appoint that the weirdest part of the song (where they somehow randomly start singing in an accentuated hick accent, "Fore Shore, Ding Dang") accentuated the eccentric looking old woman making it funnier looking than it should be, and the half version ruins it.

And lastly, whatever can be said about Boomerang's relaunch (or as I like to call it, the What's new Schooby-Doo and Garfield Show network), I really can't say I care much for their show promos. Sure, I'm actually kinda glad that they did away with the ugly as heck classic toys look (1960's toys look like crap that barely resembles the characters, especially in these days of high sculpted and articulated collector's merchandise). Especially the bizarrely homoerotic bit with the wind up Yogi and Huckleberry bumper. But they have these terrible remixes that can only be described as officially sanctioned, but poorly done YTPMV's from like 10 years ago. If they're supposed to be cool, they're not. Oh BROTHER they're not. If they're trying to be funny, only unintentionally so. There is one I rather like that doesn't get much play. A Tom and Jerry one. Okay, remember how I was talking about how short form commercials are sometimes worse? The short form Tom and Jerry one is better. Insomuch as it uses footage from "Tom's Photo Finish" incredibly out of context, especially the male owner's dialogue that comes off just so incredibly random that it sounds like the owner is going insane and shouting at Tom for no apparent reason. Some of it's even slowed down to sound more randomly angry at nothing ("What's the matter with that Crazy Cat?" turns into "whaaaaat's theeeeee maaaaater with that C-c-c-c-c-crazzzzzzy C-C-C-C-Cattttt?" with pitched down demonic echo of c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c--crrrrrrazzzzzzzy CAT).
 

D'Snowth

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The 15 second spot that shortens down an actually good ad so you can see the same mediocre half ad twice on a commercial break.
Sonic is one of the worst offenders of this. They have a good thing going with those two knuckleheads who are always at their drive-thru (remember a few years ago they used to alternate between those two guys, husband-wife duo, and a high school/college couple?) even if they are becoming more and more caricatures of their own characters, but you really have to see the full ads that they do to really appreciate them, because the shortened versions tend to take away the sense of it all - the worst example was that spicy chicken strips commercial: the shortened version actually makes it somewhat creepy since the "conflict" of the full version is missing.
 

Drtooth

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Yeah. You'd think less of them would be better, too.

Know what I always hated? When they do that to cereal commercials. Why? Usually shortened cereal commercials are shortened because the advertisement makes room for a new product variation or special offer (be it mail away or free inside) only for the commercial to end with no special offer. Gets your hopes up.

Actually, I swear this was true... I swear I saw this before, and I'd LOVE to find evidence of this, but so far I couldn't, and I'm not sifting through hundreds of commercial break vids on YT to look for it. But there was a Trix Yogurt commercial that took place at a wedding, and the rabbit lists all the amazing fruit flavors of yogurt (Orangy Orangy and crap like that). But a second, shortened cut of the commercial was made and, I SWEAR this happened because I drew a little comic of it, they cut out the entire spiel of fruit flavors, sped up the footage, and made the Trix Rabbit yell a nonsensical "Woohoo WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO!!!" Obviously, his mouth didn't match, and it sounded like he was a dangerously insane person. Freaking commercial has haunted me for years.
 

charlietheowl

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Some dumb tablet strategy Warcrafty type ripoff thing that probably upsells you on everything. Not so much for what it's selling, but how they sell it. Blatant oversexualization that comes off both misogynistic and well out of date. Some flawless beauty blonde chick dressed in armor pretending to be an action chick (a poorly executed one at that) walking around stroking everyone's chins while talking about armies and stuff and suggestively says "will you be my hero?" at the end that roughly translates to "Hey, Dorkaroni! Buy this tablet game and maybe a woman like me will jump out and [this is a family site, so insert your own imagination here and make me blameless]" In other words, the commercial seems to be enticing the old 1970's and 80's sociologically challenged basement dweller that no longer exists (hence my "out of date" comment). Worse, there's a theatrical one where she even gets out of a bath with the help of hand maidens. If this is supposed to be some The Asylum style cash in off of Game of Thrones commercial, even then it just comes off as sloppy sexualization. Yeah, sex sells and all, but there has to be some subtly to it. Meanwhile, Clash of Clans and Boom beach manage to go the opposite direction and make catchy, fun, and actually pretty funny commercials for essentially the same thing.
Apparently Game of War is one of those games where you just click and wait, something levels up, then you repeat the process forever. They spent all their money on Kate Upton and then didn't have anything left for an actual game. It's no different than Hardee's using super-models to market their grotesque triple-decker hamburgers. They're certainly not spending their cash for top-quality beef.
 

Drtooth

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I'll admit to a difference in tone with the fantasy game, but it is exactly the same concept. I looked it up and TV Tropes has an entire page on it...

Apparently she is in the game as a tutorial. Quality of the game aside (essentially if it's a tablet game, I automatically assume it's a buy imaginary crap for the game to progress deal anyway), it's just strange that you rarely hear anyone complaining about it. However, I've noticed a dramatic drop in the frequency of the ad (except for the long form one that was in theaters), and even a replacement with just a narrator. So maybe someone did complain about it...

I find it offensive on two levels. The obvious "women are for sex" bit, but essentially the message that the only ones interested in fantasy gaming are hormonal socially awkward dorkboys who will buy the game and... errr... do what 12 year olds do well into their 40's because that's the closest thing besides their mothers to female contact. The Hardees/Carls Jr. things at least have the subtext of "fratboys love sex and bad food with their binge drinking."
 

charlietheowl

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It is offensive and stupid, but I suppose it's just lowest common denominator advertising. Ad companies don't make their money off of assuming the average consumer is discerning and can handle non-sexualized advertising. Things haven't changed that much since Brooke Shields was talking about her Calvin Kleins.
 

Drtooth

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Funny thing is, I was right about something. Seems they did recall all those model based Call of War (or whatever it is) ads and replaced them with just game "footage" and a narration by a male voice actor. So yeah. maybe someone did complain.

I just think it's sad we're still having to deal with the Eddie Deezan/Steve Urkle nerd stereotype since the entire culture of that sort of thing changed. You can tell someone over 40 is behind that sort of thing, showing how out of touch they are. It really baffled me with Scorpion when the cast of geeks even managed to reference how gamers are all virgins. Not saying their aren't the socially awkward types, but they're no longer the majority. Seems these commercials had those kinds in mind. But like I said Clash of Clans and Boom Beach do it right. They have funny commercials that true 10's era geeks like.
 

Convincing John

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Ugh...there's one commercial (actually a whole bunch of them) from this same furniture store called "American Freight".

I don't know if it's my cable company or what, but these commercials always play extremely loud no matter what channel they're on. It's like when Garfield got screamed at by Binky the Clown. "HEEEEEYYYYYY CAT!"

You can't escape these ads either! They're on every...stinkin'...channel! Every time I go to the laundromat, (and washers and dryers are loud anyway), you can still hear the semi horns and announcer screaming over everything.

So, if you're a masochist (or want to play a cruel prank on a sleeping friend), crank up the volume, back up faaaaar away from your computer and watch this:


These guys even had hired drivers in my city to cruise around town with big "American Freight" signs on the roofs of their cars. One car got pulled over a month ago or so. I was so happy, I cheered for the cop...
 

Bliffenstimmers

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There is also an American Freight where I am, and we've got those commercials too, with the same loud motormouth voiceover. Personally I don't find them so annoying as they are hilariously bad. I don't expect this much enthusiasm in a commercial unless it's a local car dealer ad!
 

mr3urious

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Is that Rex from Toy Story doing the VO?

Usually that sort of frantic tone is reserved for "Going Out of Business" commercials. Speaking of which, I have to give credit to the ones for Mervyns and Linens 'n Things back in 2008 (obviously produced by the same ad people, BTW) that went for a calmer, less doomsday-ish approach.


 
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