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theprawncracker
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The best always inspire copy cats... TogetherAgain is the best, I'm the copy cat. I haven't done this in a long time... it feels so weird starting a new thread for a fan-fiction. But anyway... this is just a little something I started (and plan to finish) for the holidays. I'm hoping for a nice, clean-cut, five part story here... but we'll see what happens. Enjoy!
Christmas in the City
Part 1
Kermit the Frog hoisted a large amount of multi-colored, glistening gift bags in his hands so they didn’t drag along the wet New York City sidewalk. “I’m just saying it’s not fair, that’s all,” he told the equally gifted bear walking alongside him.
“You’re right,” Fozzie Bear said, having an easier time with his bags than his best friend the frog, “it’s hair.”
Kermit and Fozzie were dressed in incredibly warm winter clothing as they strolled down the sidewalks of Times Square, the many-colored neon lights and television screens shining down on them from above like some hi-tech Christmas angel begging you to buy his or her product marked down just in time for the holiday rush.
Kermit wore a hand-knitted red sweater underneath a thick, grey leather coat with a furry hood, and a tattered, well-worn, red and green striped scarf. Oddly enough, he was also wearing winter pants and hiking boots.
Fozzie, however, was not wrapped nearly as tightly. Besides his usual floppy brown hat and white tie with pink polka dots, the bear wore a red sweater with a goofy design featuring reindeer and snowmen and penguins, along with a pair of fleece pants. Normally he wouldn’t have been wearing shoes, but the rather unpleasant weather raining down upon New York City this Christmas Eve called for at least a pair of tennis shoes.
“Right,” Kermit continued, “it’s not fair that you have hair.”
Fozzie shrugged lightly. “It’s not my fault that I evolved,” he said sheepishly.
The frog smirked—without the light of a massive Verizon Wireless sign above his head, the smirk wouldn’t have been seen in the dark New York night. “Oh, I don’t blame you, Fozzie,” Kermit reassured the bear. “I was just saying… Although you and I may disprove that whole survival of the fittest theory tonight and prove a different one… survival of the warmest.” Kermit heaved again as he lifted the apparently heavy gift bag up from the ground once more.
“Do you need help with those bags, Kermit?” Fozzie asked.
“No, no,” Kermit said. “I paid for all of this; I might as well bear the burden of it. Thanks though.”
Fozzie slid the gift bags he was holding down his arm and reached out, grabbing a good number of Kermit’s bags from his spindly green fingers. “I’m the bear, let me bear it,” Fozzie said with a smile.
Kermit smiled back at his best friend and switched over a few of the bags to his free hand. “Thanks, Fozzie.”
Fozzie shrugged again. “‘Tis the season!” he declared.
“That it… ‘tis,” Kermit said happily. “I’m glad we all get to spend it together as a family.”
“Oh, me too,” Fozzie said. “Even if the apartment we rented is kinda small.”
Kermit scrunched up his face. “Fozzie, it’s the deluxe suite at one of the most prominent hotels in the whole city!”
“Yeah,” Fozzie nodded, acknowledging the frog’s argument, “but you forget how many bodies we have!”
“No I don’t,” Kermit said. “Trust me. We have everybody.”
“Well, you could’ve spent Christmas in the swamp like you usually do,” Fozzie reminded Kermit.
“True,” Kermit said with a nod, “but this is one Christmas I really wanted to spend with you guys.”
“Because Rudolph is on twice this year and you know that’s our favorite?” Fozzie asked.
Kermit gave a shrug of his own, the gift bags bouncing lightly. “That’s part of it. It’s also just a really exciting time for all of us, and this is the most wonderful time of the year! I just couldn’t miss it!”
Fozzie nodded. “We have been pretty busy lately.”
“Which is why we’re just now getting the Christmas shopping done,” Kermit reminded his fuzzy friend.
“Well Rizzo and the rats did offer to do the shopping for you—Scooter did too,” Fozzie said, giving a reminder of his own.
“You know my reasoning for saying no to the rats—they’re rats!” Kermit said, “And I can’t trust Scooter this time of year.”
Fozzie gave Kermit a confused look—this one less illuminated as they were walking away from the glitz of Times Square. “Why’s that?”
“Two words, Fozzie...” Kermit said.
“Miss Piggy,” Fozzie answered for the frog.
Kermit smirked. “Exactly.”
“Ah,” Fozzie said, nodding slowly. “Poor Scooter, though.”
The frog shrugged absentmindedly. “He doesn’t mind—he’d better not, anyway. Not with the Christmas bonus he gets!”
Fozzie stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, now narrowing down into a dimly lit neighborhood just outside the main city—the lights could still be seen illuminating the sky in the distance. “Scooter gets a Christmas bonus?” the bear asked, sounding somewhat miffed.
Kermit squirmed. “Erm, well—Hey, look! Gonzo finished putting up the Christmas lights!” Kermit said quickly, pointing off towards an anything but modest hotel building, looking extremely out of place in the quiet neighborhood.
Fozzie peered up ahead of him. “How can you tell?” he asked, looking upward.
“They’re the only Christmas lights on any of the rooms,” Kermit said.
Fozzie looked at the building again. “Oh yeah,” he said. “I guess they are.”
Kermit smiled up at his best friend. “Let’s go see ‘em up close,” he said.
Fozzie smiled right back and nodded. “Whatever you say, Kermit.”
~+~+~+~+~
The inside of the hotel room matched the outside in style and size.
It was just a lot more crowded.
The central figure of the room was a dazzling fireplace, where five or six logs crackled in the orange and red light of the flames. Gold arches and designing outlined most of the fireplace, and the rest of the room.
Three couches sat in the center, arranged so a crystal coffee table could sit in the middle of them while one faced the fire.
Four doors were scattered about the walls of the room. One of the rooms led to a humble kitchen, where the Swedish Chef diligently prepared a (mostly) edible feast, another to a small, yet elegant, bathroom, the third and fourth both into equal-sized master bedrooms.
Against a wall sat a glowing white grand piano where Rowlf the Dog tickled a few ivories in a red Santa hat. A glass of eggnog adorned the top of the instrument and various other Muppets flanked the sides.
Side-flanking the piano was probably the safest bet for those various Muppets, as it put them out of the way of The Great Gonzo’s incessant zipping through each part of the room, knocking over anything, living or not, in his way. “Hoo-hoo!” he shouted gleefully. “Rizzo!” he called out.
No one returned an answer to the weirdo, but a red stocking hanging on the elaborate fireplace did twitch slightly.
Gonzo darted over to the fireplace quickly and peered down into the stocking. “Oh, Rizzo! What’re you doing in here?” the weirdo asked.
Rizzo’s tiny, brown, yellow-hat-wearing head poked out of the stocking top slowly and met Gonzo’s eye line. “I was hidin’ from you!” the rat said, obviously perturbed.
“And he’s the only one who’d fit in the stocking,” Rowlf said, rolling his fingers along a few keys.
Gonzo’s eyelids shot up. “Why would you guys be hiding? It’s Christmas Eve!”
“D’at’s exactly why we’re hidin’!” Rizzo spat, climbing out of the stocking and hopping onto the crystal coffee table. “Yer nuts on holidays, Gonzo!”
Floyd Pepper, who was cuddled up on the couch facing the fire with his main-squeeze Janice, chuckled his raspy chuckle. “He’s nuts every day, man!” the musician mused.
“Is d’is where my pistachios went? I can’t find d’em nowhere, okay!” Pepe the Prawn said as he emerged from beneath the couch.
Rizzo shook his head. “Listen, Gonzo, we all love Christmas—”
“That’s right!” Scooter piped up from near the piano. “We’ve done five movies and specials about it, plus who knows how many albums.”
“—Yeah, what he said,” Rizzo said with a tinge of annoyance. “But what we don’t love is you goin’ crazy—”
“Crazier,” Rowlf interjected.
“Yes, crazier!” Rizzo snapped. “We don’t love you, Gonzo, goin’ crazier decoratin’ and carolin’ and merryin’ all over the place! It’s exhausting!”
“And it ain’t no gas either!” Floyd said with a laugh.
Gonzo’s eyes and eyelids fell as he looked down at the floor. “Oh.”
Rizzo frowned. “Look, buddy, it’s not that we don’t love you or—”
“No, no, Rizzo, I know how lovable I am—it’s not that!” Gonzo shouted, resuming his usual manic state. “I’ve just realized… you guys already have enough Christmas cheer, that’s why it bothers you! The world needs The Great Gonzo! The world needs my unique brand of Christmas! And get this, the world shall!”
Gonzo darted off again and began rummaging and causing a series of crashes and bangs in the other room.
Pepe, Rizzo, and Floyd exchanged looks. Rowlf nudged Scooter, as the go-fer gulped and nervously approached the other room. “Erm… Gonzo?” Scooter called uneasily.
The unease continued as Gonzo burst through the door, clad fully in a bright red Santa suit and laughed excitedly. He struck a pose as his laughter subsided and he cleared his throat. “People of Earth… within this hotel room… I, The Great Gonzo, have taken it upon myself to perform my greatest feat yet—spreading Christmas cheer to the entirety of New York City!”
“You cannot be serious!” Rizzo shrieked.
“As serious as a head injury!” Gonzo declared.
“And he would know this, okay,” Pepe said with a snicker.
Somewhere, somehow, Animal played a rimshot on a drumset. “Ah ha ha,” he laughed.
“Oh, like how are you going to bring Christmas to the entire city?” Janice asked. “It’s rully big.”
Gonzo laughed again. “Think who you’re talking to!” The weirdo darted out onto the balcony and slid the massive string of Christmas lights off the railing in one fell swoop.
“Now what’s he doin’?” Rowlf asked, now up from the piano on alert (even though no one had fallen in a well).
“Looks like he’s got another bright idea,” Floyd said.
Animal played out another rimshot while Gonzo tied the lights around his waist. “Dr. Teeth, a little mood music, please!” Gonzo shouted at the band leader.
The good doctor obliged and took seat at the piano. “Tempo for temper, at your service!” Dr. Teeth said with a tip of his hat.
“Dynamic and over the top, if you please!” Gonzo instructed.
Dr. Teeth chuckled. “The only way we know how, baby!”
At that moment, the door to the hotel opened as Kermit and Fozzie returned from their shopping excursion.
“Hi-ho, everyone! Merry Christmas!” Kermit chirped with a huge grin… a grin which faded almost immediately after laying eyes upon Gonzo. He gulped. “I really don’t want to ask, but what the hey? Gonzo, what are you doing?”
“He’s spreadin’ joy and Christmas cheer to the entire city,” Rizzo said. You could hear the smirk on his face in his voice. (Or something poetic like that.)
Kermit frowned and nodded. “Sure, sure. Now I feel silly asking!”
“As well you should!” Gonzo shouted, waggling his eyelids. “Farewell, wondrous wassailers! The world is calling, and The Great Gonzo is the telephone operator on the other end to tell it, ‘Please hold, I’ll transfer you now!’”
“I… What?” Kermit shook his head quickly. “Gonzo, listen, we just got the presents, the fire is on, we were gonna sing a few carols… Why don’t you hang the lights back up and help me with the wrapping?”
“Sorry, Kermit! The world needs me! Enjoy the yule log, frog!” Gonzo ran out onto the balcony again and peered over the edge.
Rizzo, Kermit, Fozzie, Rowlf, and Scooter sprang into action and darted toward the door leading outside as Dr. Teeth and Animal provided dynamic and over the top mood music.
“Did you really think that would work?!” Rizzo shouted at Kermit.
“I’m not good on the spot!” the frog responded.
Gonzo ran back in (for a running start, obviously), saluted quickly, and ran out again.
“Grab him, guys, grab him!!” Kermit squawked, scrambling to grab hold of anything.
Gonzo held most of the slack from the lights in his arm, leapt, and went flying over the balcony edge into the night air above New York City. He threw the slack behind him as he plummeted rapidly to the ground below, laughing all the way.
Fozzie managed to snag the end of the lights and held tight, planting his feet firmly against the edge of the balcony. “Kermit!!” Fozzie wailed.
Kermit sprang into action (which was easy, considering he was a frog), and wrapped his arms tightly around Fozzie. “Get Sweetums!” Kermit yelled at Scooter.
Scooter turned completely on his toes and ran back through the room calling the monster’s name.
About 50 feet below, Gonzo held his hat down on his head squealing with delight as the frigid rush of the New York air blasted his face. The ground was approaching fast, and he felt the slack in his light rope running out. Once again, he was on the verge of a perfect landing.
Higher up, Sweetums had barreled through to the balcony where he picked up Fozzie and Kermit (who was quickly becoming a frog sandwich in between the bear and the beast) and started hauling them backwards.
The lights tightened about three feet above the sidewalk, putting Gonzo nose to significantly smaller nose with a small boy wrapped in his winter warmest. “Hi!” Gonzo said with a massive grin. “Merry Christmas!”
The boy tilted his head to the side, debating whether to laugh or cry, so he settled for reaching out and squeezing Gonzo’s nose in his hand curiously.
Gonzo’s right eyelid raised as he managed to shrug and laugh. His body jerked upward, as he realized he was still attached to a rising string of lights. “Whoops!” He reached down to his waist, and untied himself, collapsing on the ground—which of course caused him to laugh again.
Meanwhile, Sweetums had grabbed the string of lights in his massive hands and was pulling them up on his own—not noticing that it had just become much lighter on the other end. Kermit and Fozzie were back on the balcony, looking over the other end, trying to see through the dark.
“See anything?” Rizzo asked, pacing back and forth inside the room.
Fozzie shook his head. “No, it’s too dark…” he said. “Maybe we should plug the lights in so we can see him!”
“And ruin the surprise?” Floyd asked.
Kermit scrunched up his face and glared at the musician, who continued to laugh. “I think we’re almost at the end, Sweetums!” the frog called back.
From the balcony above them, an elderly voice shouted down at them. “Hey! What’s going on down there?”
Kermit and Fozzie looked up and their eyes met the eyes of Statler and Waldorf, apparently staying in the hotel room above the Muppets (apparently just to heckle them).
“I think Gonzo’s at the end of his rope!” Statler said.
“He always was good at stringing people along!” Waldorf responded as both hecklers chortled.
The empty end of the rope made its way over the balcony’s edge and stopped at Kermit and Fozzie’s feet. Kermit sighed. “I wish I was surprised,” he said.
The frog made his way back inside, as numerous Muppet eyes laid upon him, waiting for the soaring, inspirational speech that was sure to come.
Kermit looked at all of them, shrugged, and said, “Well, here we go again. Get your coats everybody.”
The group of Muppets looked crestfallen. “Guess they can’t all be winners,” Rowlf said.
“What’s the plan, boss?” Scooter asked.
“We’ll split into groups,” Kermit said as he pulled on his scarf—which he had barely had time to take off before coming into the room. “Fozzie, Scooter, Rizzo, Pepe, you guys come with me. Dr. Teeth, you can search with the rest of the band. Rowlf, Sam, Lew, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker, you guys take the third party. Sweetums, you stay back here with Robin, Chef, and Beauregard in case Gonzo decides to come back… which sounded less ridiculous in my head.”
“You got it green stuff!” Floyd said affirmatively.
“Lucky I’m part blood-hound,” Rowlf said with a nod.
Kermit smiled weakly. “Alright, everybody, let’s go!” The frog turned to Fozzie. “Fozzie, get my cell phone and call Piggy… tell her what happened and to stall Camilla. No need to worry her unnecessarily.”
Fozzie nodded and took Kermit’s phone and started dialing.
“Always with the crazies on Christmas,” Pepe muttered. “Next year, I go to the islands and get away from you people, okay. No questions.”
“Who’s gonna give you presents in the islands?” Rizzo asked as he walked out the door.
Pepe stared at Rizzo. “…Never minds, okay. I stay here.”
The prawn shut the door behind him as the Muppets embarked on their quest.
Christmas in the City
Part 1
Kermit the Frog hoisted a large amount of multi-colored, glistening gift bags in his hands so they didn’t drag along the wet New York City sidewalk. “I’m just saying it’s not fair, that’s all,” he told the equally gifted bear walking alongside him.
“You’re right,” Fozzie Bear said, having an easier time with his bags than his best friend the frog, “it’s hair.”
Kermit and Fozzie were dressed in incredibly warm winter clothing as they strolled down the sidewalks of Times Square, the many-colored neon lights and television screens shining down on them from above like some hi-tech Christmas angel begging you to buy his or her product marked down just in time for the holiday rush.
Kermit wore a hand-knitted red sweater underneath a thick, grey leather coat with a furry hood, and a tattered, well-worn, red and green striped scarf. Oddly enough, he was also wearing winter pants and hiking boots.
Fozzie, however, was not wrapped nearly as tightly. Besides his usual floppy brown hat and white tie with pink polka dots, the bear wore a red sweater with a goofy design featuring reindeer and snowmen and penguins, along with a pair of fleece pants. Normally he wouldn’t have been wearing shoes, but the rather unpleasant weather raining down upon New York City this Christmas Eve called for at least a pair of tennis shoes.
“Right,” Kermit continued, “it’s not fair that you have hair.”
Fozzie shrugged lightly. “It’s not my fault that I evolved,” he said sheepishly.
The frog smirked—without the light of a massive Verizon Wireless sign above his head, the smirk wouldn’t have been seen in the dark New York night. “Oh, I don’t blame you, Fozzie,” Kermit reassured the bear. “I was just saying… Although you and I may disprove that whole survival of the fittest theory tonight and prove a different one… survival of the warmest.” Kermit heaved again as he lifted the apparently heavy gift bag up from the ground once more.
“Do you need help with those bags, Kermit?” Fozzie asked.
“No, no,” Kermit said. “I paid for all of this; I might as well bear the burden of it. Thanks though.”
Fozzie slid the gift bags he was holding down his arm and reached out, grabbing a good number of Kermit’s bags from his spindly green fingers. “I’m the bear, let me bear it,” Fozzie said with a smile.
Kermit smiled back at his best friend and switched over a few of the bags to his free hand. “Thanks, Fozzie.”
Fozzie shrugged again. “‘Tis the season!” he declared.
“That it… ‘tis,” Kermit said happily. “I’m glad we all get to spend it together as a family.”
“Oh, me too,” Fozzie said. “Even if the apartment we rented is kinda small.”
Kermit scrunched up his face. “Fozzie, it’s the deluxe suite at one of the most prominent hotels in the whole city!”
“Yeah,” Fozzie nodded, acknowledging the frog’s argument, “but you forget how many bodies we have!”
“No I don’t,” Kermit said. “Trust me. We have everybody.”
“Well, you could’ve spent Christmas in the swamp like you usually do,” Fozzie reminded Kermit.
“True,” Kermit said with a nod, “but this is one Christmas I really wanted to spend with you guys.”
“Because Rudolph is on twice this year and you know that’s our favorite?” Fozzie asked.
Kermit gave a shrug of his own, the gift bags bouncing lightly. “That’s part of it. It’s also just a really exciting time for all of us, and this is the most wonderful time of the year! I just couldn’t miss it!”
Fozzie nodded. “We have been pretty busy lately.”
“Which is why we’re just now getting the Christmas shopping done,” Kermit reminded his fuzzy friend.
“Well Rizzo and the rats did offer to do the shopping for you—Scooter did too,” Fozzie said, giving a reminder of his own.
“You know my reasoning for saying no to the rats—they’re rats!” Kermit said, “And I can’t trust Scooter this time of year.”
Fozzie gave Kermit a confused look—this one less illuminated as they were walking away from the glitz of Times Square. “Why’s that?”
“Two words, Fozzie...” Kermit said.
“Miss Piggy,” Fozzie answered for the frog.
Kermit smirked. “Exactly.”
“Ah,” Fozzie said, nodding slowly. “Poor Scooter, though.”
The frog shrugged absentmindedly. “He doesn’t mind—he’d better not, anyway. Not with the Christmas bonus he gets!”
Fozzie stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, now narrowing down into a dimly lit neighborhood just outside the main city—the lights could still be seen illuminating the sky in the distance. “Scooter gets a Christmas bonus?” the bear asked, sounding somewhat miffed.
Kermit squirmed. “Erm, well—Hey, look! Gonzo finished putting up the Christmas lights!” Kermit said quickly, pointing off towards an anything but modest hotel building, looking extremely out of place in the quiet neighborhood.
Fozzie peered up ahead of him. “How can you tell?” he asked, looking upward.
“They’re the only Christmas lights on any of the rooms,” Kermit said.
Fozzie looked at the building again. “Oh yeah,” he said. “I guess they are.”
Kermit smiled up at his best friend. “Let’s go see ‘em up close,” he said.
Fozzie smiled right back and nodded. “Whatever you say, Kermit.”
~+~+~+~+~
The inside of the hotel room matched the outside in style and size.
It was just a lot more crowded.
The central figure of the room was a dazzling fireplace, where five or six logs crackled in the orange and red light of the flames. Gold arches and designing outlined most of the fireplace, and the rest of the room.
Three couches sat in the center, arranged so a crystal coffee table could sit in the middle of them while one faced the fire.
Four doors were scattered about the walls of the room. One of the rooms led to a humble kitchen, where the Swedish Chef diligently prepared a (mostly) edible feast, another to a small, yet elegant, bathroom, the third and fourth both into equal-sized master bedrooms.
Against a wall sat a glowing white grand piano where Rowlf the Dog tickled a few ivories in a red Santa hat. A glass of eggnog adorned the top of the instrument and various other Muppets flanked the sides.
Side-flanking the piano was probably the safest bet for those various Muppets, as it put them out of the way of The Great Gonzo’s incessant zipping through each part of the room, knocking over anything, living or not, in his way. “Hoo-hoo!” he shouted gleefully. “Rizzo!” he called out.
No one returned an answer to the weirdo, but a red stocking hanging on the elaborate fireplace did twitch slightly.
Gonzo darted over to the fireplace quickly and peered down into the stocking. “Oh, Rizzo! What’re you doing in here?” the weirdo asked.
Rizzo’s tiny, brown, yellow-hat-wearing head poked out of the stocking top slowly and met Gonzo’s eye line. “I was hidin’ from you!” the rat said, obviously perturbed.
“And he’s the only one who’d fit in the stocking,” Rowlf said, rolling his fingers along a few keys.
Gonzo’s eyelids shot up. “Why would you guys be hiding? It’s Christmas Eve!”
“D’at’s exactly why we’re hidin’!” Rizzo spat, climbing out of the stocking and hopping onto the crystal coffee table. “Yer nuts on holidays, Gonzo!”
Floyd Pepper, who was cuddled up on the couch facing the fire with his main-squeeze Janice, chuckled his raspy chuckle. “He’s nuts every day, man!” the musician mused.
“Is d’is where my pistachios went? I can’t find d’em nowhere, okay!” Pepe the Prawn said as he emerged from beneath the couch.
Rizzo shook his head. “Listen, Gonzo, we all love Christmas—”
“That’s right!” Scooter piped up from near the piano. “We’ve done five movies and specials about it, plus who knows how many albums.”
“—Yeah, what he said,” Rizzo said with a tinge of annoyance. “But what we don’t love is you goin’ crazy—”
“Crazier,” Rowlf interjected.
“Yes, crazier!” Rizzo snapped. “We don’t love you, Gonzo, goin’ crazier decoratin’ and carolin’ and merryin’ all over the place! It’s exhausting!”
“And it ain’t no gas either!” Floyd said with a laugh.
Gonzo’s eyes and eyelids fell as he looked down at the floor. “Oh.”
Rizzo frowned. “Look, buddy, it’s not that we don’t love you or—”
“No, no, Rizzo, I know how lovable I am—it’s not that!” Gonzo shouted, resuming his usual manic state. “I’ve just realized… you guys already have enough Christmas cheer, that’s why it bothers you! The world needs The Great Gonzo! The world needs my unique brand of Christmas! And get this, the world shall!”
Gonzo darted off again and began rummaging and causing a series of crashes and bangs in the other room.
Pepe, Rizzo, and Floyd exchanged looks. Rowlf nudged Scooter, as the go-fer gulped and nervously approached the other room. “Erm… Gonzo?” Scooter called uneasily.
The unease continued as Gonzo burst through the door, clad fully in a bright red Santa suit and laughed excitedly. He struck a pose as his laughter subsided and he cleared his throat. “People of Earth… within this hotel room… I, The Great Gonzo, have taken it upon myself to perform my greatest feat yet—spreading Christmas cheer to the entirety of New York City!”
“You cannot be serious!” Rizzo shrieked.
“As serious as a head injury!” Gonzo declared.
“And he would know this, okay,” Pepe said with a snicker.
Somewhere, somehow, Animal played a rimshot on a drumset. “Ah ha ha,” he laughed.
“Oh, like how are you going to bring Christmas to the entire city?” Janice asked. “It’s rully big.”
Gonzo laughed again. “Think who you’re talking to!” The weirdo darted out onto the balcony and slid the massive string of Christmas lights off the railing in one fell swoop.
“Now what’s he doin’?” Rowlf asked, now up from the piano on alert (even though no one had fallen in a well).
“Looks like he’s got another bright idea,” Floyd said.
Animal played out another rimshot while Gonzo tied the lights around his waist. “Dr. Teeth, a little mood music, please!” Gonzo shouted at the band leader.
The good doctor obliged and took seat at the piano. “Tempo for temper, at your service!” Dr. Teeth said with a tip of his hat.
“Dynamic and over the top, if you please!” Gonzo instructed.
Dr. Teeth chuckled. “The only way we know how, baby!”
At that moment, the door to the hotel opened as Kermit and Fozzie returned from their shopping excursion.
“Hi-ho, everyone! Merry Christmas!” Kermit chirped with a huge grin… a grin which faded almost immediately after laying eyes upon Gonzo. He gulped. “I really don’t want to ask, but what the hey? Gonzo, what are you doing?”
“He’s spreadin’ joy and Christmas cheer to the entire city,” Rizzo said. You could hear the smirk on his face in his voice. (Or something poetic like that.)
Kermit frowned and nodded. “Sure, sure. Now I feel silly asking!”
“As well you should!” Gonzo shouted, waggling his eyelids. “Farewell, wondrous wassailers! The world is calling, and The Great Gonzo is the telephone operator on the other end to tell it, ‘Please hold, I’ll transfer you now!’”
“I… What?” Kermit shook his head quickly. “Gonzo, listen, we just got the presents, the fire is on, we were gonna sing a few carols… Why don’t you hang the lights back up and help me with the wrapping?”
“Sorry, Kermit! The world needs me! Enjoy the yule log, frog!” Gonzo ran out onto the balcony again and peered over the edge.
Rizzo, Kermit, Fozzie, Rowlf, and Scooter sprang into action and darted toward the door leading outside as Dr. Teeth and Animal provided dynamic and over the top mood music.
“Did you really think that would work?!” Rizzo shouted at Kermit.
“I’m not good on the spot!” the frog responded.
Gonzo ran back in (for a running start, obviously), saluted quickly, and ran out again.
“Grab him, guys, grab him!!” Kermit squawked, scrambling to grab hold of anything.
Gonzo held most of the slack from the lights in his arm, leapt, and went flying over the balcony edge into the night air above New York City. He threw the slack behind him as he plummeted rapidly to the ground below, laughing all the way.
Fozzie managed to snag the end of the lights and held tight, planting his feet firmly against the edge of the balcony. “Kermit!!” Fozzie wailed.
Kermit sprang into action (which was easy, considering he was a frog), and wrapped his arms tightly around Fozzie. “Get Sweetums!” Kermit yelled at Scooter.
Scooter turned completely on his toes and ran back through the room calling the monster’s name.
About 50 feet below, Gonzo held his hat down on his head squealing with delight as the frigid rush of the New York air blasted his face. The ground was approaching fast, and he felt the slack in his light rope running out. Once again, he was on the verge of a perfect landing.
Higher up, Sweetums had barreled through to the balcony where he picked up Fozzie and Kermit (who was quickly becoming a frog sandwich in between the bear and the beast) and started hauling them backwards.
The lights tightened about three feet above the sidewalk, putting Gonzo nose to significantly smaller nose with a small boy wrapped in his winter warmest. “Hi!” Gonzo said with a massive grin. “Merry Christmas!”
The boy tilted his head to the side, debating whether to laugh or cry, so he settled for reaching out and squeezing Gonzo’s nose in his hand curiously.
Gonzo’s right eyelid raised as he managed to shrug and laugh. His body jerked upward, as he realized he was still attached to a rising string of lights. “Whoops!” He reached down to his waist, and untied himself, collapsing on the ground—which of course caused him to laugh again.
Meanwhile, Sweetums had grabbed the string of lights in his massive hands and was pulling them up on his own—not noticing that it had just become much lighter on the other end. Kermit and Fozzie were back on the balcony, looking over the other end, trying to see through the dark.
“See anything?” Rizzo asked, pacing back and forth inside the room.
Fozzie shook his head. “No, it’s too dark…” he said. “Maybe we should plug the lights in so we can see him!”
“And ruin the surprise?” Floyd asked.
Kermit scrunched up his face and glared at the musician, who continued to laugh. “I think we’re almost at the end, Sweetums!” the frog called back.
From the balcony above them, an elderly voice shouted down at them. “Hey! What’s going on down there?”
Kermit and Fozzie looked up and their eyes met the eyes of Statler and Waldorf, apparently staying in the hotel room above the Muppets (apparently just to heckle them).
“I think Gonzo’s at the end of his rope!” Statler said.
“He always was good at stringing people along!” Waldorf responded as both hecklers chortled.
The empty end of the rope made its way over the balcony’s edge and stopped at Kermit and Fozzie’s feet. Kermit sighed. “I wish I was surprised,” he said.
The frog made his way back inside, as numerous Muppet eyes laid upon him, waiting for the soaring, inspirational speech that was sure to come.
Kermit looked at all of them, shrugged, and said, “Well, here we go again. Get your coats everybody.”
The group of Muppets looked crestfallen. “Guess they can’t all be winners,” Rowlf said.
“What’s the plan, boss?” Scooter asked.
“We’ll split into groups,” Kermit said as he pulled on his scarf—which he had barely had time to take off before coming into the room. “Fozzie, Scooter, Rizzo, Pepe, you guys come with me. Dr. Teeth, you can search with the rest of the band. Rowlf, Sam, Lew, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker, you guys take the third party. Sweetums, you stay back here with Robin, Chef, and Beauregard in case Gonzo decides to come back… which sounded less ridiculous in my head.”
“You got it green stuff!” Floyd said affirmatively.
“Lucky I’m part blood-hound,” Rowlf said with a nod.
Kermit smiled weakly. “Alright, everybody, let’s go!” The frog turned to Fozzie. “Fozzie, get my cell phone and call Piggy… tell her what happened and to stall Camilla. No need to worry her unnecessarily.”
Fozzie nodded and took Kermit’s phone and started dialing.
“Always with the crazies on Christmas,” Pepe muttered. “Next year, I go to the islands and get away from you people, okay. No questions.”
“Who’s gonna give you presents in the islands?” Rizzo asked as he walked out the door.
Pepe stared at Rizzo. “…Never minds, okay. I stay here.”
The prawn shut the door behind him as the Muppets embarked on their quest.
I love the little boy squeezing his nose, and all the "suspense" with the lights, and Kermit's "big speech," and... Whom am I kidding? I love it all!
