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Pardon?
The Muppet Boarding House was overflowing with chaos. Only a few of them actually lived there anymore. But all of them were there now, and none of them really knew why.
The front door suddenly flew open as Kermit burst in. “Everybody in the kitchen!” he shouted.
Once they reached the kitchen, the Muppets all began to swarm him.
“Kermit, where have you been?”
“Yo, Kerm, what it this?”
“Why did you have Scooter call us?”
“Kermit, why are we all here?”
“Kermie? What’s going on?”
“Look Kermin there had better be a good reason for this, hokay. I was in a Jacuzzi with a very nice looking lady...”
“Kermit, I’ve got everybody here.”
“Kermit, have you been at the theater this whole time?”
“Hey Kermit, what’s goin’ down?”
“Is this gonna take awhile, Kermit? Because I’m supposed to sing at a party in an hour.”
“Nobody messes with Johnny Fiama’s schedule!”
“KER-MIT! KER-MIT!”
“Why is everyone here, Kermit?”
“Kermit, why’d you have us all come here?”
“Kermit, it is very un-American to have us all come here and not tell us why.”
“What are we doing here, Kermit?”
“Kermit, what the heck is-"
“QUIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEET!!!” Kermit shouted.
“And I said, look, fella, if I wanna go to the beach without my clothes on, it’s my business, and I-“ Janice realized everyone was staring at her. “Oh.”
They turned to Kermit.
“You all know that Robin is in Colorado with Frog Scouts,” he began.
They groaned. “Did you bring us all here just for that?” Johnny Fiama said. They had been hearing all about Robin’s trip to Colorado for months.
Kermit scrunched up his face. “Guys, listen.”
They hushed their grumbling and settled into their usual seats around the table. “I just got a call from one of the rangers,” Kermit said. “Something went wrong.”
They immediately snapped to attention. They could tell by the tone of his voice and his frazzled composure that this was big. That they needed to be worried.
“They were walking along the trail and they fell into some sort of trap. The next thing they knew, they were locked up, in a cell or something. They got out, but they were being chased by some one. And Robin...” Kermit could feel himself beginning to falter. He sat down in his chair. “Robin got separated. They don’t know where he is, if he got caught, if the man is still chasing him, or what the man wants with him.”
The Muppets stared at Kermit, not quite sure what to think. They knew to be worried, but beyond that they were lost. And when they were lost, there was only one thing to do. Ask Kermit.
“So what are we going to do?” Clifford asked, trying not to sound hopeless.
Rowlf sat up. “What a silly question,” he said. “We go out and look for him!” He turned to Kermit. “Right?”
Kermit nodded. “Guys, we’re going to Colorado.”
He pulled some road maps out of nowhere and immediately started to lay out a plan.
“Now. We’re here,” he pointed, “Robin was last seen somewhere over here. Our best bet is to split up. So Dr. Teeth, you and the Electric Mayhem-“
Ring ring.
They jumped. Kermit ran to the phone. “Hello?”
“Uncle Kermit?” a tiny voice said.
“ROBIN!” Kermit shouted. The other Muppets were instantly surrounding him, anxious. “Robin, where are you? Are you okay? What happened?”
“I... I don’t... know...” Robin was starting to cry.
Kermit calmed himself down so as not to alarm his nephew. “Robin. Take a deep breath,” he said. “Are you alright?”
The young frog was sniffling at the other end. “Yeah. I... I think so.”
Kermit nodded to himself. “Good,” he said. “Now, do you know where you are?”
“Um... hang on, lemme check.” The next words were fainter, almost indistinguishable. He wasn’t talking into the phone anymore. “Um... excuse me... Miss? ...Where am I?”
Kermit looked around at the waiting Muppets. “He’s checking,” he explained.
“Uncle Kermit? I’m at a place called Eat-Your-Fill Grill in Grand Lake, Colorado.”
“Grand Lake, Colorado,” Kermit repeated. “Alright, now listen to me, Robin,” he said. “I want you to stay there until someone comes for you. I’m going to call the ranger station and-“
“But Uncle Kermit?” Robin interrupted. “I- I don’t know if I can stay here very long. I’m scared. I think he’s following me, Uncle Kermit, and I-“
“Who’s following you, Robin?” Kermit asked, trying not to panic as the Muppets around him stared at him anxiously.
“Hopper.”
Kermit froze. His heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat. He started shaking, and his knees were beginning to give. He reached out his hand for whatever he could reach. Fozzie grabbed the hand. “What? Who is it?” the bear asked.
No. No, surely he had heard his nephew wrong. He gathered his voice and forced himself to speak. “Who?” he barely managed to whisper. The other Muppets looked around, concerned.
“Hopper,” Robin said. “That’s what it said on the truck- Doc Hopper and Son’s French Fried Frog Leg Restaurant chain.”
Kermit felt himself falling backwards into Fozzie’s arms.
“And Uncle Kermit? I- I heard them talking, and they said...” Robin was crying now. “They said that if they caught me, they were going to kill me, Uncle Kermit. I heard them! They said it!”
Kermit didn’t realize that he was squeezing Fozzie’s fur with one hand while his other hand clutched the phone. He felt sick. But he had to be strong. He had to be strong for Robin. He cleared his throat. “You do what you have to do, Robin,” he said quietly. “In the meantime... I’m coming. I’m coming to get you, Robin.” His voice was growing stronger, and his mind was racing. He looked around him quickly. “You know Miss Piggy’s cell phone number, right?”
“Yeah,” Robin said.
“Good. Whenever you can, you call that number, and you tell me where you are. Okay?”
“Okay,” Robin said.
“And Robin?” Kermit said.
“Yes, Uncle Kermit?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Uncle Kermit.”
“It will be alright, Robin.”
“Yeah...” Robin didn’t sound convinced. “Well... Goodbye, Uncle Kermit.”
“ ‘Bye for now, Robin.” Kermit waited to hear a click on the other end before hanging up. He was shaking again.
“Kermit?” Fozzie said, looking worriedly at his friend. “Who’s following Robin?”
Kermit turned and looked the bear in the eyes. He swallowed. “Hopper,” he said quietly.
Almost everyone gasped sharply. The room filled with murmurs. The majority of them were immediately horrified. But a few of them were confused.
“Who?” Sal asked.
“Doc Hopper,” Scooter said, shuddering slightly at the name.
“He tried to get Kermit to do some... advertising... a while back,” Dr. Teeth said.
Kermit walked to his seat at the table, a dazed look in his eyes. He leaned back in his chair, letting the others explain some of their history. The others took their seats as well.
“Advertising for what?” Clifford asked.
Rowlf took a deep breath. “Doc Hopper’s French Fried Frog Leg Restaurant chain,” he said.
“Really tried to force him into it,” Floyd said.
“Yeah, he chased Kermit across the country,” Fozzie said.
“Almost killed him!” Gonzo said.
“Rully. But then like, Kermit rully told him off, you know? Like, fer surely,” Janice said.
Miss Piggy smiled a little and took Kermit by the hand. “Kermie was very brave,” she said.
Kermit looked around the table and took a deep breath. “If Hopper catches Robin... he’ll kill him. Robin heard him say so.”
They sat in a stunned silence. Gonzo pushed the road maps towards Kermit.
“Tell us the plan,” he said.
The Muppet Boarding House was overflowing with chaos. Only a few of them actually lived there anymore. But all of them were there now, and none of them really knew why.
The front door suddenly flew open as Kermit burst in. “Everybody in the kitchen!” he shouted.
Once they reached the kitchen, the Muppets all began to swarm him.
“Kermit, where have you been?”
“Yo, Kerm, what it this?”
“Why did you have Scooter call us?”
“Kermit, why are we all here?”
“Kermie? What’s going on?”
“Look Kermin there had better be a good reason for this, hokay. I was in a Jacuzzi with a very nice looking lady...”
“Kermit, I’ve got everybody here.”
“Kermit, have you been at the theater this whole time?”
“Hey Kermit, what’s goin’ down?”
“Is this gonna take awhile, Kermit? Because I’m supposed to sing at a party in an hour.”
“Nobody messes with Johnny Fiama’s schedule!”
“KER-MIT! KER-MIT!”
“Why is everyone here, Kermit?”
“Kermit, why’d you have us all come here?”
“Kermit, it is very un-American to have us all come here and not tell us why.”
“What are we doing here, Kermit?”
“Kermit, what the heck is-"
“QUIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEET!!!” Kermit shouted.
“And I said, look, fella, if I wanna go to the beach without my clothes on, it’s my business, and I-“ Janice realized everyone was staring at her. “Oh.”
They turned to Kermit.
“You all know that Robin is in Colorado with Frog Scouts,” he began.
They groaned. “Did you bring us all here just for that?” Johnny Fiama said. They had been hearing all about Robin’s trip to Colorado for months.
Kermit scrunched up his face. “Guys, listen.”
They hushed their grumbling and settled into their usual seats around the table. “I just got a call from one of the rangers,” Kermit said. “Something went wrong.”
They immediately snapped to attention. They could tell by the tone of his voice and his frazzled composure that this was big. That they needed to be worried.
“They were walking along the trail and they fell into some sort of trap. The next thing they knew, they were locked up, in a cell or something. They got out, but they were being chased by some one. And Robin...” Kermit could feel himself beginning to falter. He sat down in his chair. “Robin got separated. They don’t know where he is, if he got caught, if the man is still chasing him, or what the man wants with him.”
The Muppets stared at Kermit, not quite sure what to think. They knew to be worried, but beyond that they were lost. And when they were lost, there was only one thing to do. Ask Kermit.
“So what are we going to do?” Clifford asked, trying not to sound hopeless.
Rowlf sat up. “What a silly question,” he said. “We go out and look for him!” He turned to Kermit. “Right?”
Kermit nodded. “Guys, we’re going to Colorado.”
He pulled some road maps out of nowhere and immediately started to lay out a plan.
“Now. We’re here,” he pointed, “Robin was last seen somewhere over here. Our best bet is to split up. So Dr. Teeth, you and the Electric Mayhem-“
Ring ring.
They jumped. Kermit ran to the phone. “Hello?”
“Uncle Kermit?” a tiny voice said.
“ROBIN!” Kermit shouted. The other Muppets were instantly surrounding him, anxious. “Robin, where are you? Are you okay? What happened?”
“I... I don’t... know...” Robin was starting to cry.
Kermit calmed himself down so as not to alarm his nephew. “Robin. Take a deep breath,” he said. “Are you alright?”
The young frog was sniffling at the other end. “Yeah. I... I think so.”
Kermit nodded to himself. “Good,” he said. “Now, do you know where you are?”
“Um... hang on, lemme check.” The next words were fainter, almost indistinguishable. He wasn’t talking into the phone anymore. “Um... excuse me... Miss? ...Where am I?”
Kermit looked around at the waiting Muppets. “He’s checking,” he explained.
“Uncle Kermit? I’m at a place called Eat-Your-Fill Grill in Grand Lake, Colorado.”
“Grand Lake, Colorado,” Kermit repeated. “Alright, now listen to me, Robin,” he said. “I want you to stay there until someone comes for you. I’m going to call the ranger station and-“
“But Uncle Kermit?” Robin interrupted. “I- I don’t know if I can stay here very long. I’m scared. I think he’s following me, Uncle Kermit, and I-“
“Who’s following you, Robin?” Kermit asked, trying not to panic as the Muppets around him stared at him anxiously.
“Hopper.”
Kermit froze. His heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat. He started shaking, and his knees were beginning to give. He reached out his hand for whatever he could reach. Fozzie grabbed the hand. “What? Who is it?” the bear asked.
No. No, surely he had heard his nephew wrong. He gathered his voice and forced himself to speak. “Who?” he barely managed to whisper. The other Muppets looked around, concerned.
“Hopper,” Robin said. “That’s what it said on the truck- Doc Hopper and Son’s French Fried Frog Leg Restaurant chain.”
Kermit felt himself falling backwards into Fozzie’s arms.
“And Uncle Kermit? I- I heard them talking, and they said...” Robin was crying now. “They said that if they caught me, they were going to kill me, Uncle Kermit. I heard them! They said it!”
Kermit didn’t realize that he was squeezing Fozzie’s fur with one hand while his other hand clutched the phone. He felt sick. But he had to be strong. He had to be strong for Robin. He cleared his throat. “You do what you have to do, Robin,” he said quietly. “In the meantime... I’m coming. I’m coming to get you, Robin.” His voice was growing stronger, and his mind was racing. He looked around him quickly. “You know Miss Piggy’s cell phone number, right?”
“Yeah,” Robin said.
“Good. Whenever you can, you call that number, and you tell me where you are. Okay?”
“Okay,” Robin said.
“And Robin?” Kermit said.
“Yes, Uncle Kermit?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Uncle Kermit.”
“It will be alright, Robin.”
“Yeah...” Robin didn’t sound convinced. “Well... Goodbye, Uncle Kermit.”
“ ‘Bye for now, Robin.” Kermit waited to hear a click on the other end before hanging up. He was shaking again.
“Kermit?” Fozzie said, looking worriedly at his friend. “Who’s following Robin?”
Kermit turned and looked the bear in the eyes. He swallowed. “Hopper,” he said quietly.
Almost everyone gasped sharply. The room filled with murmurs. The majority of them were immediately horrified. But a few of them were confused.
“Who?” Sal asked.
“Doc Hopper,” Scooter said, shuddering slightly at the name.
“He tried to get Kermit to do some... advertising... a while back,” Dr. Teeth said.
Kermit walked to his seat at the table, a dazed look in his eyes. He leaned back in his chair, letting the others explain some of their history. The others took their seats as well.
“Advertising for what?” Clifford asked.
Rowlf took a deep breath. “Doc Hopper’s French Fried Frog Leg Restaurant chain,” he said.
“Really tried to force him into it,” Floyd said.
“Yeah, he chased Kermit across the country,” Fozzie said.
“Almost killed him!” Gonzo said.
“Rully. But then like, Kermit rully told him off, you know? Like, fer surely,” Janice said.
Miss Piggy smiled a little and took Kermit by the hand. “Kermie was very brave,” she said.
Kermit looked around the table and took a deep breath. “If Hopper catches Robin... he’ll kill him. Robin heard him say so.”
They sat in a stunned silence. Gonzo pushed the road maps towards Kermit.
“Tell us the plan,” he said.
