I need more sugar.
Okay, so this drunk guy had a belly ring, and he wasn't a skinny dude, either. So, he gets depressed and goes on this eating binge until suddenly his stomach rips right through his body and lands on the table in front of him, coming thru where the belly ring was.
So he's sitting there, right, with this big belly on the table in front of him and he knows it's his, but doesn't know what to do with it. So, he just stares at his belly and finally he bleeds to death and goes to heaven.
St. Paul is at the pearly gates and looks up the drunk guy's name in the Book of Life and says, "Nope, you can't go in. You were a glutton who over used alcohol and died as a result of your vices."
"But, it wasn't my fault," said the large dude with the belly ring. "I am a victim of circumstances."
"How so?" asked St. Paul.
"Well, the advertising on the tv made the food look so good that I had to have it," said the big guy, "and my parents were alcoholics so it was only normal for me to become one."
"Very well, I'll send all of them to heck instead. But, what about the belly ring?" asked St. Paul.
"Oh, that?" asked the Big guy. "Well, I had to hang my keys SOMEWHERE!"
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I just made that up!! 