Chapter Six
"Good morning and welcome to the Four Seasons Market. My name is Melissa. How may I help you today?"
"I'd like to talk to the manager regarding employment."
"What job would you be interested in, sir?"
"It's not for me, it's for my children."
Melissa looked skeptical. "Shouldn't they be applying themselves?"
"They're still getting out of the car. It takes them awhile. Just tell the manager that Sam the Eagle is here to see him."
Melissa went to the back of the store to find her manager, while Andrew and Hillary shuffled into the sleepy little market, which was barely alive with customers at ten in the morning on a Wednesday. Andrew immediately cut for the candy display, while Hillary stood silently next to Sam.
"Andrew! It's too early for sugar!"
"But Dad, they might have that coconut flavored gum I was looking for!"
"I can get you some gum later! Now the manager will be out here any minute, so please wait over here."
"Ah-ha! I'm gonna need like five packs!"
Andrew, hands full of gum, walked over to Sam and Hillary, while a tall, lanky woodpecker emerged from the back of the store, carrying a clipboard and a dour look.
"There's Alexander! Straighten up."
Hillary leaned over towards her father. "How do you know him?"
"Regional Town Management Meetings. We both sat on the board last year."
"Why hello Sam!" The woodpecker's dour look lifted suddenly as he clasped an arm around Sam's back, either ignoring or not realizing Sam's squirming. "Long time no see."
"Hello, Alexander. Nice to see you."
"So these are your kids."
"Yes, these are my children."
"Looks like they'll make GREAT workers as long as they have that old Eagle work ethic."
"They certainly do." Sam shot a glare at his kids as if to say they better have that work ethic or else.
"Well, guys. Are you ready to start working?"
Hillary shrugged her shoulders while Andrew merely questioned, "Where do I go to buy this gum?"
"I'll give you the gum! Just come on back with me and I'll get you two your uniforms and set you up with some shelf stocking. Really exciting stuff! Nothing like seeing those boxes all neat and organized!"
His kids shuffled off while Sam smiled. He had accomplished his biggest task since coming back to the boarding house; his kids were out of there and into the workplace. They could save up a few bucks and learn about hard work. This would give Hillary something to do until she went back to school, and perhaps Andrew could make a career out of it. There was always a need for new managers. People got old. They retired, or moved on to other things. Andrew could step in there.
Meanwhile, back at the studio, everyone was buzzing. Not only was it the season premiere, but Paul McCartney was the guest star. He had one of the deepest songbooks of all time, so everyone was picking and choosing for their hopeful numbers.
The Electric Mayhem was making their way through a rehearsal of "Band On The Run", and Scooter was working with to create a stage display for a prospective opening number with a prison theme. Piggy was planning to belt out "My Love", and was attempting to pull Rowlf away from his rehearsals of "Golden Slumbers" to help arrange her number. In the orchestra pit, Nigel was attempting to get Wayne and Wanda on the same page and in the same key on their number when Sam wandered in.
"Look Wayne, you have to sing in a higher key here! I'm not Stevie Nicks. I don't do raspy."
"I'm trying! I'm trying! This is a hard song."
"Nigel, can't you get me somebody else to sing with? What's Thog doing? He's got some nice pipes."
"Thog's working out a dance routine to "Maybe I'm Amazed", so he's out of the picture."
"What about Beauregard? He doesn't need to be sweeping all the time!"
"Oh hello Sam. Good to see you."
While Sam didn't really manage Wayne and Wanda anymore, he still kept an eye on them, as he felt they had the potential to be the most civilized act on the show. They always fell on their faces, but Sam could never give up on them. Their next act might be the breakthrough one.
"Hello everyone. What are you up to?"
Nigel acted as public relations man, as Wayne and Wanda were still peeved at each other.
"Wayne and Wanda are working the kinks out of their latest number."
"No we're not! Ray Davies was on last season!"
Nigel shot Wayne the evil eye.
"They're struggling with their song."
Sam sighed, though this was to be expected. "What did they choose?"
"Maxwell's Silver Hammer."
Sam scratched his chin. "Haven't heard that one before." Though he wasn't a fan of rock music, it was hard to live in Los Angeles without encountering it, so he knew a handful of songs.
Nigel raised his conductor's baton and the duo started belting, Wanda first.
"Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
science in the home
late nights all alone with her test tube
oh, oh, oh, oh"
Sam nodded to himself. A song about educated people. This could something I approve.
Wayne took the next verse.
"Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine
calls her on the phone
'Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan?'
But as she's getting ready to go
a knock comes on the door"
The two attempted to combine voices for the chorus, but did so in the way a car and a wall combine after an accident.
"Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer
came down upon her head
Clang clang Maxwell's silver hammer
made sure that she was dead."
Sam was appalled. "STOP! STOP! Stop at once! This is disgusting. You chose to sing a song about murderers? Where are your morals? Your values?"
Wayne looked puzzled. "That's what this song is about?"
"Wayne and I wanted to try something edgier, to separate ourselves from everyone's love songs. You have to get attention somehow, right Nigel?"
"Yeah." Nigel didn't even bother looking up from his cell phone as Sam lectured.
"Well I will not stand for this disgusting number one bit! You better change to another song promptly."
Beauregard strolled by, carrying a giant box.
"Wayne, Wanda, where do you want me to put this big hammer?"
"Arrrrgh!" Sam walked towards his dressing room in a huff.
"Gee, what's with him?"
******************
Coming up next in Chapter Seven: Everyone heads down to see Andrew and Hillary (and get some food), and Rowlf has a side project.
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is thwopped in face with a wet mop*
Oh! Uh...well then what do you call it? Depressed?
