2007 Muppet Presidential Election begins

[Luke]

Miss Piggy: Moi has a sudden hankering for a blue, fur stole....

Bunsen: I wholeheartedly endorse this comment!

<hands Miss Piggy a gun>

Of course here at the Bunsen campaign headquarters we completely condone gun crime other than in humane circumstances!

 

[Erine81981]

Herry: Uh Grover? *glup* She's out to get us. I knew that pigs were bad but not gun crazy. *shakes behind the curtain*

 

[theprawncracker]

Grover: *gulp* Uh, please, let us be civilized here. Dr. Honeydew, do you not remember who it was who gave you the cute little bunny ears? ...Okay, bad arguement. Um, Miss Piggy! I do not think Froggy baby would much appreciate... that. Or having to explain it to Big Bird.

 

[The Count]

*Glares at Bunsen... *Puts on a pair of smart little white gloves and takes the gun away, depositing it in the ravenous Automatic Wastebasket.
Scooter: Honestly Dr. Honeydew... OK Piggy, you did really great. You have a photo shoot with Hillary at 5 and an appointment at your salon at 6, and then it's another speaking engagement at the Brown Hatrack to further expound on your campaign platform at 7. Talked to the guys back at the boarding house... Sal will be there to help you drum up support for the coming elections.

 

[The Count]

... Outside the fine eating establishment known as the Brown Hatrack, run bya woman known for the peppery spice she uses in all her dishes, a furry brown Muppet monkey ambles up to the doors wearing a dark blue tie graced with the smiling face of Kermit The Frog and a Miss Piggy button pin tucked into the front pocket of his vest. He takes up his post outside the restaurant, detaining all Muppety patrons.

Sal Manilla: Hey youz mugs... You'd better vote for Miss Piggy if youz knowswhat's good for ya! So vote for Piggy... She's smart and funny and a pig... She'd be the best president of all cause she wouldn't need any bodyguards, she's a force to be reckoned with! Now get out there and vote for Piggy... Or else!
He shoves the Muppet into the voting booth with the lever already poised to cast the ballot for Miss Piggy for Muppet president.

 

[Luke]

*Glares at Bunsen... *Puts on a pair of smart little white gloves and takes the gun away, depositing it in the ravenous Automatic Wastebasket

Hey You can't blame me. It was Piggy who wanted to wear Grover as a fashion accessory! I can see i'm gonna have to consult my lawyers, we have a smear campaign goin on here!

 

[The Count]

Scooter: Yeah... And you're the one who handed her the smoking gun. If there's any smear campaign it's the one you started against yourself.
*Goes back to checking notes for Piggy's next speech before handing them off to the perfectly gloved pink pig's hand.

 

[Luke]

Bunsen: Well if you wanna play dirty Gofer, i wonder what the media would say if they found out the connection between your Uncle (who owns the Theater), your speechwriting about less tax on Theaters, and Miss Piggys recent top billing at the Muppet Show????

Perhaps the Pig has been stuffed, with dollar bill bribes!!!!!

**Crowd gasps open mouthed**

 

[The Count]

Scooter: The only one who's stuffed around here is you Honeydew. Piggy doesn't get top billing, Kermit does and you know that. As for my uncle, he's given charitable donations to corporations throughout the years, including some that are non-profit like that Sesame Workshop and Jim Henson Company. It is your reckless junk science that's clouding the issues and carrying out such hatred towards my endorsed candidate for Muppet president.

*Continues to wage a clean campaign for Miss Piggy, in spite of the baseless accusations from the disreputable science community.

 

[Luke]

Scooter:
*Continues to wage a clean campaign for Miss Piggy, in spite of the baseless accusations from the disreputable science community.

Bunsen: With a campaign slogan like "Vote for her ..... or else?", and the Jim Henson Company isn't non profit. I'm sure the IRS will be interested to hear what your uncle has been claiming as "charitable donations".

As for Junk Science, Free Genetically Enhanced Fries for all who vote for me!!