2007 Muppet Presidential Election begins

[The Count]

*Shhhh... Keep quiet or there'll be rat-a-touille added to the menu.

 

[Ruahnna]

Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (sputtering) Stunned into silence? Stunned into silence my Aunt Myrtle! If I get a hold of the bozo who grabbed me and threw me in that closet, why I'll--
Muppet Newsguy: This is a Muppet New Flash! Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate for the mostly irrelevant position of Grand Poobah of the mostly disinterested populace of Muppet Central has just come out of her closet!
(Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate, looms over the Muppet Newsguy, who looks uncomfortably over his shoulder.)
Muppet Newsguy: Um, and very attractive she looks! Are those new shoes?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: HI! Yah!
(Muppet Newsguy goes flying over the head of Ru as she enters the room.)
Ruahnna: (entering the room) Was that the Muppet Newsguy? Oh Piggy! There you are! I've been looking all over for you! Where have you been?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (indignantly) LOCKED IN MY CLOSET ALL DAY!
Ruahnna: Oh--Honey! Are you hurt? What happened?
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (with excessive dignity) Moi is not damaged.
Ruahnna: Well, I'm glad to hear that. Now c'mon, Piggy--we've got a press conference in a few.
Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate: (faintly) A press conference? With reporters? (touches hair self-consciously) How do I look?
Ruahnna: (fondly) Ravishing, dear. Now come--it won't take them long to revive the Muppet Newsguy, and then they'll want us.

 

[Ruahnna]

Ruahnna: (opening the press conference) Miss Piggy would like to gratefully acknowledge all of the muppets who have worked so tirelessly on her campaign. (blushing) Um, kissy kissy to Scooter and Ed and, um, Uncle Deadly. (hissing, to Piggy: Piggy--You're supposed to kiss babies! Not dead dragons! I am not going to kissy-kissy anyone else for you in this campaign!) Thank you to Sal for all the muscle--and the bananas. And thanks to Sam and Eagle for his unimpeachible efforts to stem the tide of negative campaigning and keep things, um, strictly American. And thanks to Morty for all the, um, legal advice. (Talk to you in a minute, okay Morty?) Now--any questions for Miss Piggy, Presidential Candidate?
Rizzo: Did somebody say "impeach"? She hasn't even been elected yet! Speaking of--anybody got any fruit? I'm hungry!
(Sal nails him in the eye with a bunch of bananas.)
Rizzo: (weakly) Thanks! (falls over)

 

[Erine81981]

Oscar: Who is it were voting for again?

Gordon: For Grover. *puts his vote in*

Oscar: For that cute ball of fur. That's almost saying i would vote for the little red menace.

Susan: Oh come on Oscar. Grover is our friend. Wouldn't you do this for Big Bird?

Oscar: The turkey? Why?

Gordon: Just forget i Oscar. You don't have to do anything we tell you. Come on dear. *Gordon and Susan walk off*

Oscar: What?!

Herry: *sees Oscar* Hey Oscar. You here to vote for Grover

Oscar: *still looking at Gordon and Susan*

Herry: He-llooooo! *waves hand in front of Oscar's face*

Oscar: Huh? What? Oh it's you Herry.

Herry: Are you here to vote for Grover?

Oscar: Nope....well...i guess...nah.....uhhhh...nah....I DON'T KNOW! *starts crying*

Herry: Man i have never see a grouch cry before.

 

[The Count]

*At press conference..
Lewis: Miss Piggy, how do you respond to the shameless chicanery perpretrated by the Honeydew campaign, portraying Kermit as voting for their green party nominee?

*Passing by... Oh hi Oscar. You gonna vote for Grover? That guy's a ball of fuzzy and blue cuteness. Or you could vote for the candidate whose as rough as a grouch, and can back up her campaign pledges with muscle. She's got a mean streak that'd make any trashcan tennant proud. Vote for Piggy... Or not, whatever.
*Goes off to get some refreshments from the booth near the conference.

 

[Erine81981]

*Passing by... Oh hi Oscar. You gonna vote for Grover? That guy's a ball of fuzzy and blue cuteness. Or you could vote for the candidate whose as rough as a grouch, and can back up her campaign pledges with muscle. She's got a mean streak that'd make any trashcan tennant proud. Vote for Piggy... Or not, whatever.
*Goes off to get some refreshments from the booth near the conference.

Oscar: *stops crying/hears a "ding!"* That sounds like my kind of candidate. *heads over to other voters booth*

Herry: Figures. *yells out* Come one. Come all. Vote for the furry cute monster Grover. The one who you want your kids to grown up to be like. Kind and cute is the way i say to go.

 

[Luke]

Rizzo the Rat: Did somebody say bacon?

Van Neuter: As much bacon as you can stomach at the Dr Bunz Near Victory BBQ tonight after the polls close. We'll be putting a pig on a spit.
And that means FIRE!!!!
Rizzo: .... and that means after YOU light the BBQ, the FIRE SERVICE! I think the pig will be spitting, especially when she hears about your plans.
Van Neuter: The pigs already spitting. She's heard about Kermit making that cameo in the Dr Bunz video. He's secretly backing us because he doesn't want Piggy to become the first lady, something to do with an increased clothing allowance. Except we told him it was just a campaign video rehearsal, he was gonna do it disguised as Mickey Mouse and speaking in German.
Elmo: Hi there fellas. Elmo loves Dr Bunz. He told Elmo he gonna send him on a long holiday into space. Elmo gonna be astronaut.
Rizzo: Heh heh, I have a feeling thats gonna be a loooooong journey. I hear they're handing out a new Dr Bunz action figure variant tonight at the party. It's Dr Bunz wearing his grass skirt, coconut bikini with the spanish guitar accessory - limited to only 50 pieces. Scooter wants one but we're gonna make him walk over hot coals first. Mmmm roasted gofer!

 

[The Count]

Heh... Victory party, yeah right. Maybe you don't realize this, but Grover's got four more votes than you, Bunwormer. And why would I want that bootlegged custom? I'd rather buy it from Ken's store. And besides, I can just blast your silly little party to kingdom come employing the services of the Smart Bombs I secretly programmed to destroy anybody who keeps trying to sabotage our campaign with the idiocy of a fake Kermit.

See you tonight when we reveal that secret video of you and that ladyfriend of yours that you hoped would never air on public television Bunwormer.
*Leaves with a smirk on his face.

 

[Luke]

Heh... Victory party, yeah right. Maybe you don't realize this, but Grover's got four more votes than you, Bunwormer.

ooc - We said Near Victory, we will be very happy with second tonight and will be working tirelessly to make sure Bean Bunny out cutes them in the next round.

Rizzo: And we'll be happy having seconds at dinner tonight as well. And that Ken fella? He's supporting Dr Bunz as well, he's got his backroom monkeys making the figures - always been a fan of bunz from what i hear.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Voting Commission

The poll has been edited to show most votes to least in the last election.

Pepe and Yorick have conceded to their compaign opponents and must now begin pulling for the politician they feel deserves the position of President.

A new thread will begin so we can have a new poll to vote from and it will close in 5 days.
http://forum.muppetcentral.com/showthread.php?t=32090