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Heh heh :-) Pay no attention to the man behind the keyboard... Of course, the really interesting story could be the one concerning Byron and a bucket...

Well....I could tell you what he's doing with his time, but he wouldn't thank me for it...

Be afraid...be very afraid... Mwahahahaha! Well, you wanted me to post something...

The ice-cream van doing the rounds in my area at the moment is playing "You Are My Sunshine". Every time I hear it - and the guy's there three times a day, every day of the year! - I get this urge to stick my head out of the window and do the 'Hugga Wugga' bits...or possibly to yell something...

I haven't unleashed the killer beanbag yet!

All you looters have been targeted. My trained attack couch is on your trails...there's nowhere to hide... Mwahahaha! >:-D *ahem* (Too much caffeine again)

Nope. You might be able to filter the worst of it out, but the only way to fix the problem is to start over. If you want to send me the original images, I can do that for you ;-)

It looks like you had the JPEG compression up too high when you saved it.

At last... ...there really will be a "hot-tub story"... Seriously, good luck :-)

Well, yes! The UK is one time-zone, and Greenwich Mean Time is named after the town, not the other way around :-)

GMT is an absolute - the zero-hour meridian runs through Greenwich. What happens is that the country moves onto British Summer Time (BST), which is GMT+1. The clocks go forward at 2am on the last Sunday in March, and go back at 2am on the last Sunday in October.

Because you are on daylight savings time. The forum clock doesn't take DST into account - this would be terribly impractical as different countries change on different dates. So, you need to set your preferences for your county's timezone plus 1 hour.

America does not move to daylight savings time until this weekend (April 6th). In any case, the forum time is based on *your* location - to change this, go to 'user cp' at the top of the page, click on the 'User options' link, and scroll down to the 'Time offset' field. Change this to...

Apparently you weren't following your own advice :-P

People still use cheques?! Weird... Mind you, the British postal service still hasn't caught on to the idea of credit or debit cards :-(

Dam' right! * tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle...

At least he died happy :-)

:-O You bast... Oh, wait, I can't say that here!

And indeed, I know some very old fart jokes...

Suuuuure you were...